One More Tough Question Answered

What’s a tough interview question? One you don’t know how to answer.

I don’t want to be asked why there are so many gaps in my resume.

I don’t want to be asked why I went to a top school, got great grades, and then spent the next three years in dead-end jobs.

I don’t want to be asked about my ‘five year plan’ because I don’t have a one year plan.

I don’t want to be asked ‘tell me about yourself’ cause there’s nothing much to tell.

To answer the questions that concern you most, get real about your obstacles and remove them. Here’s one way to do it:  Write. Write the question that worries you, then write your response and keep writing. Write for five minutes without pausing to think, check, correct, or wonder what someone would think if they read your rambling response. Just keep writing. And there, right there at the end of your five minute marathon is the obstacle and the answer to the question. Take action on it and you’ll have the response you were seeking.

Here’s an example:

“Why are there so many gaps in my resume?”

If you knew what I’ve been going through you wouldn’t ask such a question. Do you think it’s fun to go from job to job, either getting fired or quitting because the people you’re working with are too stupid to recognize your intelligence or you scare the pants off yourself because you’re in a stupid job and you don’t know how to do it? Do you realize how frustrating it is to have this big deal, cost a fortune, four year degree and you’re working at something an idiot could do and you’re the idiot who can’t do it? I’ve got these gaps because I never sat down to figure out what I needed to do. I just believed that as smart as I am everyone would immediately get it and hire me into this great job and when that didn’t happen I lost all my confidence and now I’m back to square one, three years later, after my family thinks I’m a loser because I think I am, despite the fact I won’t admit that to anyone. So how do I get out from under of this load of you know what? I have to sit down with someone smarter than me who gets me and who is wiling to help me work my way out of it. That’s the biggest takeaway I’ve had from this insulting, ridiculous situation: that I’m not as smart as I thought, that other people can help me and I need to ask for that help because I’m finally ready to listen.

I’m there. I know what I have to do. I have my answer.

“There are gaps in my resume because until recently I had not taken the time I needed to figure out the direction I want to take my career. I’m doing that now and here’s what I’ve learned about myself and why I’m interviewing for this job…”

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Remain Focused ~ One Step at a Time

Whether you’re looking for a job or want to hold on to the one you have, keep your attitude in check. It’s not a question of if, it’s when you have a negative attitude it will spill over into negative behavior. That’s a mess you don’t want to have to clean up. Think positively and your behavior will follow suit.

If you’re creeped out where you work because half the population is whispering and the other half is hiding out, do yourself a favor, tune it out, turn it off, and do your job. Focus on what’s in front of you and encourage others to do the same. Take care of yourself but remember some rules still apply: conduct personal business on personal time.

If you’re looking for a job, you need to know what the right one looks like. Combine your strengths with your skills, your likes with your values and you’ll begin to see the where, when, and how you add value.

“Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.” People will treat you as you treat yourself. If you downplay your abilities, understate your attributes, keep your head down, and your voice on mute, others will likely think that you haven’t the will or the want to do more. Speak up, take credit for what’s yours, share credit for the rest, and ask to do more of what you do best.

This is the time to let go and glide. Life might be taking you down corridors you’ve not traveled, to places you’ve not wanted to go, but if you’re flexible and go with the flow you might arrive at destinations far better than those from which you have departed.

Make a job of looking for a job. Shower and dress for your search. Conduct it outside, in the light, with people you know and people they’ll introduce you to. Get away from your computer, get out of your slippers, and take off that ratty robe. You have work to do in networking meetings, with job search groups, and at job fairs.

Turn down the noise and tune out the static. Pay attention to facts, not opinions. Pay attention to actions, not rumors. The more you listen to a cacophony of voices that know less than you but talk as though they know more, the more you’re stuck in the quick sand of stress. Take action.

If you think you’ll lose your job, don’t worry about it, do something about it. Assess your strengths, update your resume and polish up your self esteem.

Pretending that all is well when it’s not, won’t make it so. If you substitute worry for awareness, and distraction for action, you’re an accident waiting to happen. Ask questions and seek counsel from those trained to provide it: Financial Advisors, CPA’s, Career Coaches, Therapists, Social Workers, and Religious Counselors. Take one step, then another, until you regain your sense of equilibrium with the world as it is, not as you fear it might be.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Passing the buck? Don’t Delegate Unpleasantries!

“Everyone wants to shoot the messenger!” says Mary, who’s the messenger for a boss who would rather “not get involved.” Here’s her story. It might have familiar ring:

Mary is a seasoned executive assistant. She’s able to see what needs doing and gets it done. She thinks on her feet, consistently makes good choices, and good decisions. She’s hard working and dedicated to her job; organized, good with details and sees how they connect to the big picture.

She’s professional in demeanor, personable in relationships, articulate and well read. She sounds great and her boss agrees. 

“Hello, I’m Larry, Mary’s boss. Mary’s all that she’s described to be, and more. In fact, she’s so much more, I’m able to delegate everything that I don’t want to do. I don’t like to manage people or things, I like to lead. So, I leave the managing to Mary. What specifically? Performance reviews. It’s tedious and time consuming to write them and unpleasant to conduct them. So I have Mary do them for me. I sign them and she delivers them. I don’t like to meet with direct reports. They like to complain and I don’t want problems, I want solutions. So I ask Mary to listen to their complaints, fix what she can and let the rest go.

I want to do what I’m paid to do, and that’s to be the big picture guy. I’m great at it. I love it. Thank heavens that’s about the only thing that Mary’s not good at doing or I’d have a struggle on my hands.”

“I’m Mary. Larry nailed it. He has me do everything he doesn’t want to do (did he mention shopping for family gifts and canceling dinner engagements?), but I draw the line when it comes to critiquing his direct reports. He once asked me to fire someone for him. I flatly refused, Larry never did it and the person still works here.

Keep in mind, please, that I am his executive assistant, not his executive vice president.  I do not have the title, authority, power, or paycheck to do the things he asks of me. His direct reports look at me as though I’m on some ego trip, giving orders like I’m in charge. I’m caught between a boss who relies on me to do his job and a staff that resents me for doing it.

“I’m Harry, one of Larry’s direct reports and I’d like to weigh in on this discussion. We don’t give Mary respect because we know she’s a stand in for Larry, who doesn’t have the courage to tell us, in person, what we need to know and what we need to hear. We admire his intelligence and his ability to sell our vision and our mission. He has great interpersonal skills when it comes to meeting, greeting, and securing financial support for our worthwhile endeavors. What he lacks is an ability to engage our support. He shuts us out and thinks shoving Mary in our faces makes up for his omissions. He’s wrong and its unfortunate that Mary’s paying the price.”

Mary does what her boss asks because; “I need this job until the market improves. Then I’ll have no choice but to leave and work elsewhere.”

Mary does have choices. Larry wants solutions, not problems. Mary creates a win-win if she can objectively describe the challenge, available options, and her recommendations for resolution. First, she gets Larry in the loop. He’s unaware of the consequences of his actions. Let him know that his subordinates feel shut out of the process; that her intervention makes the situation worse instead of better. If Larry prefers to delegate to her as before, she recommends that he include her on the management team, with the title, authority, and salary commensurate with the position.  Whatever decisions Larry makes, Mary has responded proactively, assertively, and responsibly. She’ll know where she stands and can make better-informed career decisions going forward.

And Larry, if you’re reading this, you have time to turn situations like these around before the economy does the job for you. Change your paradigm and you can change negative outcomes to positive results.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Summer Employment for Teenagers

Parents, from your calls and emails it sounds like finding summer employment for your teenagers is top of mind these days. Just be careful. If you get too involved, their search will become your search, and even worse, they could stop searching before they even get started.

“I provide our family gracious living; a fine home, cars, vacations, club memberships, you name it. I’ve been in a family business for a long while so I’m well connected. People would hire my teenager in a minute if I just asked. The good news is he doesn’t want my help; he wants to get a job on his own. The bad news is he’s not doing anything to get one. So I asked a buddy of mine to give my son a summer job. He said he would; all my kid had to do was pick up the phone and call him. I think problem solved. But my son didn’t call him. No matter how many times I told him to. Now I’m embarrassed my kid didn’t follow through. He still doesn’t have a job, and I don’t want to get anyone else involved in this mess. What can I do to solve his problem?”

As long as you provide “gracious living”, your teenager won’t be motivated to do anything about his problem. He doesn’t think he has one. Create one for him. Charge him for the food, shelter, clothing and transportation he enjoys. No pay, no play. And stick to the plan. If you waver a little or waver a lot, game’s over. You both lose.

“Our very independent teenage daughter wants to work this summer, and her father and I prefer she spend the time with us, bonding, traveling, and relaxing together. She’ll soon be off to college and a life of her own. We want to enjoy our little girl just a little longer. How can we say this to her and not come across as ‘smothering’? (Her choice of words, not ours.)”

Given that she’s independent, wants to earn her own way and create some personal space she’s differentiating herself from you and her dad. That’s part of the process typically described as ‘growing up’. You need to participate in that process as well and learn to let go. Respect your daughter’s preferences without guilt tripping or judging them, and trust that the values you’ve instilled within her will serve her well in the future.

“My son is interviewing for summer jobs and hasn’t had any luck. He’s clean-cut, polite, and very reserved. He’s not very competitive. He holds back and doesn’t sell himself. Have you any advice for him, or for us, in helping him overcome this hurdle?”

Bottom line, applicants of all ages have to assert themselves if they want to compete for available job opportunities. Teenagers, reserved and outgoing are more likely to enjoy work and add value when they’re well matched to environments that bring out the best in them. Outgoing teens who are energized by interaction enjoy working in social, relational settings found in retail, food service, and entertainment venues. Reserved teens who draw energy from within, prefer environments that support that preference; libraries, research centers, book stores, museums, art galleries; positions that rely more on individual contribution than team interaction.

If you want to help, ask how you can be a resource. Your teens might want a non- judgmental sounding board for their job seeking concerns or a way to role-play questions they’re apt to be asked. If you want to help, but don’t think you can (and neither do they), find them someone who can.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Advice for the Advice-Giver

If you’re a frequent reader, you know that I typically offer advice to job seekers, providing strategies for getting and keeping jobs. I often suggest they contact you, as possible references, networking contacts, and prospective employers, and in turn, ask that when you offer your wisdom and perspective you’re doing it to help them stay on the road and out of the ruts they inevitably encounter.

It occurred to me that you might want a little advice too; about how to handle these calls, particularly the ones you’d rather not get, and to remind you that their job search is not your burden. Getting a job is up to them, not up to you. With that in mind and if it helps, here are some tactics you might want to consider when asked to perform a service you’d rather not do.

If you get a call from an acquaintance, a friend, or relative of a friend, who asks you to serve as a reference, pause. And in that pause, ask a few questions.

“I appreciate your considering me as a reference. Let’s talk about the kind of job you’re looking for so I can determine if I’m the right person to help you.”

Listen to caller’s response. If it’s fuzzy, incomplete, or ill considered, suggest that he clarify his objective (or rationale) and get back to you. If he does, and can make a good case for the job he seeks, indicate that you will be his reference with this qualification: “I am pleased to speak on your behalf. I will describe to the prospective employer how I know you and the degree to which I am aware of your experience and expertise. Will that work for you?” Whether it does or doesn’t, you’ve demonstrated care and consideration.

If the caller is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose social skills are impeccable, and skill sets are not, and you believe that she is better suited to different line of work than that to which she is applying, say so. And suggest that she ask her other references for feedback regarding her current objective. If you’re outnumbered, let her know that the other references would do a better job for her than you would.

If the person calling is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose skill sets are impeccable and social skills aren’t, ask what he has done to improve in that regard. If he indicates a targeted effort with positive response, indicate that you will speak positively about his technical prowess and that you are pleased to hear that he is becoming more effective in his communication style. Suggest that he would do well to have additional references who can speak to that aspect of his performance.

Use the same degree of honestly and cordiality with those who would ask to network with you. If you are open to the possibility, ask how you might be a resource. If the person doesn’t know, you may be in for a long meeting in which you do all the work. Instead, ask her to get back to you with a plan. If she does, and is clear about the outcome she intends be sure you’re comfortable with it. If you’re not, you’ll unwittingly un-do the good will and time you have expended.

On behalf of job seekers who respectfully ask their references for permission, and their networking contacts for time and perspective; to those of you who so graciously assist them, thank you. Thank you for working with them, encouraging them, and telling them the truth.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.