Harold did it again. He hired the wrong person and is in a world of hurt.

Harold’s a businessman who describes himself as street smart, strategy savvy, and a sap when it comes to hiring.

First it was his financial advisor. Harold was ecstatic, he couldn’t believe his luck. He found a creative accountant who doubled as a visionary. At last, someone who agreed with his spending habits and encouraged him to spend even more. This financial wizard could see the importance of building for the future. Together they drew the blueprints of a business that could go global in the time it took to write the checks.

Harold didn’t buy luxury cars or condos on exotic shores just to be frivolous. These were first class expenses and Harold was a first class guy. Harold wasn’t sure where the money was coming from, but his financial advisor said, “Don’t worry, leave it to me. ” So, he did.

When the creditors started calling, Harold told them, “I don’t handle that, my numbers man does”. And referred them straight-away. But the creditors didn’t go away.

When the IRS came calling and Harold said, “I don’t handle that, my numbers man does”, the financial advisor went away. In the middle of the night, with what remained of petty cash and a pair of new wing-tipped shoes. Justifiably worn only on business occasions.

Harold recovered.  Ever honest, he paid the creditors and got square with the government and took his hard learned lesson to heart: Don’t hire a financial advisor who agrees with everything you say and goes you one better. Harold took a course in accounting, learned how to read  profit and loss statements, and hired a CPA with a sharp pencil who knew how to say “no”.

Harold, rebounding  and reinvigorated, realized that his time management was out of balance, and sought the assistance of  administrative support. He hired a sweet young thing who was anxious to learn from such an astute businessman. He taught her everything he knew, from the best brands of coffee to the best brains in the business. The more she learned, the smarter she got, the more she could handle, the more he gave to her. They had no secrets. He trusted her absolutely. And why wouldn’t he? Everything she was she owed to him.  Right up to the day that she joined his arch rival along with his client list and business plans for the next five years.

Harold was debilitated, demoralized, devastated. His faith was shaken, his confidence destroyed.

Ever resolute, that scrappy Harold  was back a few days later and hired a temp. “I’ve learned my lesson”, he proclaimed. “I trusted too quickly and assumed too much. From now on, I’ll watch my back and protect my flanks. I’ll go to work like I’d go to war.” The temp took notes, parked her gum and left for lunch.

Harold was ready for the last hire he’d need. He wanted an office manager to handle the business, the books, and the temp,  so Harold could do what he does best: set the strategy, find the clients and make the money. He interviewed from far and wide. He knew  to avoid reamers, dreamers, and schemers. But what to look for? He needed someone who would listen and learn and take charge.

Harold hired Hank. Hank was a strapping fellow, a nice enough guy, who  took orders like a soldier and saluted Harold like he was Old Glory. Harold thought Hank was the greatest. “At last, someone who is honest and true. Someone who will do as he’s told and nothing more.” It was the “nothing more” part that was the tip off.

Hank was great at taking orders but didn’t know what to do after he got them. He’d dash off to a job, only to return moments later not sure what the job was. He was earnest and good but couldn’t find his way from one end of the office to the other.

Harold, you’ve done it again.

Your insistence on seeing  the forest from your tree is driving your small  business into the ground.

Lesson #1: You aren’t supposed to have all the answers.  Your job is to find the people who do.

Lesson #2: Hire people whose skills and strengths are complementary to yours. You’ll get more done that way.

Lesson #3: Hire staff that can assume authority and  responsibility, relieving you of the day to day.

Lesson #4: Grow your business in equal parts: if you are all front end, no one is backing you up, delivering product, providing service.

Lesson #5: Hire by asking questions and listening to the answers. Probe for deliverables based on their history, not your fantasy.

Lesson #6: Check out their track record. If they weren’t part of the solution, they are going to be a big part of your problem.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Screaming toddlers are banging on pots, demanding attention while their harried mothers and frazzled fathers yell in their phones and hunch over their desks, desperate to complete what looks like their job. Distraction controls. Chaos reigns. Nothing of value gets done. The banging gets louder and no one can listen because no one can hear.

This manager is done. “I am so over it, I just don’t care.”

She’s so tired of the back biting, gossip spreading, over the top and under the table squabbling of her employees that she’s ready to throw in the towel. She’s not leaving her job. She’s leaving her employees.

“All they do is complain about each other. I’ve told them again and again, “”I don’t want to hear about it. You fight it out between yourselves. Don’t come to me with this stuff anymore. I’ve had it with all of you!”

She says they keep yammering, like they don’t hear what she’s telling them.

She’s right, they don’t. And probably for reasons that are different than she might think.

They don’t hear her because they don’t believe she’s listening to what they’re telling her. They’re asking questions and not getting answers. They need more and are getting less. The more noise they make, the more anxious they become about something they need and aren’t getting.

Typically, employees want to know the basics: what does the boss expect, when does she expect it, and what should it look like when it’s done?

Once the basics are satisfied, the questions answered, other issues and needs can emerge:

I’m working as hard as I can, and I don’t feel that I’m getting the  recognition I deserve. When no one tells me how I’m doing, I get unsure of myself. What if my work isn’t what they expect? What if I’m not as good as I’m supposed to be? what if I lose my job?

When change is in charge, employees feel pulled from every direction. Each message they get sounds more pressing than whatever preceded it. If employees feel that the company’s compass is spinning out of control, they get real concerned and say so.

Ignoring complainers and complaints won’t result in making them go away. People and problems become increasingly complex and testy the longer they are neglected. What can start as concern and uncertainty can escalate to all out conflict.

Conflict. What can you do about it?  Avoid it?  Accommodate it? Personalize it?  Get combative, aggressive, and nasty about it?

Face it. Lower the volume, yours and theirs. Listen to reasons for concern before solving problems you don’t fully understand. Identify the impact of concerns and consequences of the impact. Separate the problem from the person speaking or the people being spoken about. Focus on the problem.

Ask open ended questions and exercise patience. It takes time and effort to listen when responses sound emotional, blaming, antagonistic. Allow the speaker full opportunity to vent. Confirm your understanding of what is being said by rephrasing. Proceed when your take is confirmed as accurate. Tone down the conflict by identifying common interests. Stay away from fixed positions (what you and I need) and focus on concerns (why you and I need it). If you can satisfy a concern you can usually satisfy a position.

Most conflicts are borne out of needs that people share and fear will be lost: recognition, affirmation, security, control, a need to belong and be well.

If your employees are spending more time making more noise than they are creating and producing, there’s a reason.  Find out why, what they need, and how you can work out a solution, together.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A recent reprint of an archived Ann Landers column from 2000 is just as relevant today as it was when it was first printed. It was practically on fire with letters from customers who were fed up with the attitude of retail clerks.

I was struck by the irony of what these letter writers were saying:

“If you don’t like people and consider them an interruption or a nuisance, go find another job.”

“Within driving distance of your store, there are five stores that carry the same items. If I am treated well, I’ll be back to see you. If you want me to come back, you will thank me for coming in and make me feel welcome.”

What’s the irony? The words they chose are almost identical to those I hear unhappy retail associates use to describe their bosses:

“If they don’t like to manage employees, and consider them an interruption or a nuisance, they shouldn’t be doing that job.”

“If they’d treat me well, if they made me feel welcome, and showed a little appreciation once in a while I’d want to work for them.”

And then there are the customers. Most are likeable and agreeable, just like most managers and associates, while others are ready to do battle over just about anything.

Some customers are somewhere in the middle. They just want to make a purchase and go home, unscathed from the experience.

Suit up, kids, we’re going shopping. Fly cover for me when I go into the department store and I’ll protect you on the ground at the toy store.

Yes, we know. People are stressed out and sleep deprived and that’s why they’re irritable. But is that reason enough to justify incivility or are they just excuses for uncivilized behavior?

Rude bosses, customers, and employees are so busy jabbing fingers at each other, someone’s bound to get stuck in the eye. Each group is competing for “most ugly” and it’s a toss up as to who’s going to win.

Before we rush to judgment, let’s put this into perspective. The Pareto Principle states that A small number of causes is responsible for a large percentage of the effect… usually a 20 percent to 80 percent ratio.

With that in mind, let’s address 20% of the managers who are creating 80% of this mess.

Managers: Some people are relationship managers, and others are not. It sounds like you’re part of the “not” population. You can learn how to do it right but it takes more than one training class and reading one book. It takes a commitment to doing the right thing for people, every day.

If you don’t have the energy or desire to manage with courtesy and consideration, please stand down.

Sales associates: Same song. Second verse. You’re in the relationship business, not the jewelry, men’s wear, or grocery selling business. If you take the time to understand your products and meet the needs of your customers, in a respectful manner that encourages them to return to do business with you and your company, you’ve done your job. If you don’t and you won’t, you’re in the wrong line of work. Your negative attitude shows and its generating much of the negative response you’re getting.

Customers: No matter the size of your purchasing power, that power alone does not justify your rude or arrogant behavior. No matter the rush you are in or your position in the community, the office, or your home, it doesn’t justify your push to the front or brusqueness from the rear.

Twenty percent. That’s all it takes to create chaos and hostility among the eighty percent on the receiving end of your bluster.

Eighty percent. Good for you. As managers, associates, and customers you do us proud. Keep it up and encourage the rest to step up or step out of line. All that shoving and poking is giving the rest of us a collective black eye.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A client  shared this childhood experience with me and described the  impact that it’s had on her life and career. She said I could share it with you. The only thing I’ve changed are the names…

“Momma loved to get into her car and drive wide open. Only problem was she’d fall asleep at the wheel. She’d sleep anywhere she’d put herself and she was more apt to put herself at the wheel than anywhere else.”

Momma had narcolepsy and Sally was the designated child to keep her alive. Sally was the fourth of four, didn’t have a daddy, and was the one most likely to do anything she and her momma set their minds to doing. She was, hands down, her mother’s favorite.

Little wonder that when momma had just about enough of the round eyed “huh-us? “ of her three other children, she’d take off to the garage and back out the old Plymouth. Grinding gears and dialing up the radio, she’d start yelling for Sally to jump in quick.

Sally learned to run real fast when she’d hear the screen door slam and momma halloo to her. Momma wanted to get out in the cool night air, driving 80 miles an hour on country roads and hairpin curves, before she’d fall asleep again.

“Saaaallllllyyyyyy!!!” she’d be hollering. “Keep your blessed mother awake. Talk to me child, talk to me loud!”

Sally would bounce on her haunches, ears set up high like a terrier’s, talking and laughing and singing at the top of her lungs. She was having another electric evening with momma, keeping her awake at the wheel while they’d fly into the night. While they’d fly by the stars.

That was a long time ago. Now, Sally’s the grown up vice president of sales and marketing for a large consumer goods manufacturer, and the acknowledged right hand to a smart as a whip entrepreneur who doubles as a president and change agent.

He values Sally’s ability to know what he wants before he wants it, her ability to take risk and maintain a sense of balance amidst the chaos and ambivalence that risk creates. Above all, he values her ability to inhale his frenetic energy and exhale calm and confidence. Their combination is unbeatable.

For years recruiters have plied her with opportunities to lead companies; they implore her to “just talk with the search committee. Listen to what they’re telling you, Sally. You can do this! The sky’s the limit for you.”

She’ll have none of it. She knows who she is and what she does best. She’s not about to jump, untethered, into a career abyss. She knows what she brings to the table and is well compensated for it. Her career has taken off like her mother’s Plymouth and she’s not about to crash into Old Man Peabody’s store.

Mr. Peabody ran the general store at Cooper’s Crossing.  He was an ornery old coot and there wasn’t a soul in town who wanted to get around him. He probably never slept ‘cause you could see him, day or night, leaning on the counter next to the cash register, staring at nothing in particular. That was until the night momma flew into his store. Or crashed into it; depending on your perspective.

Sally and momma had taken off on one of their hair-raising rides through the countryside. Momma seemed different that night; she was calmer and drove like most other folks. The radio was turned down low, and somebody was singing something soft and sweet. Lulled by the near gentleness of the ride, Sally took her eyes off momma, and off the road ahead, and fell asleep.

It was then, or a second later, that they landed smack on top of the general store. Lucky for Mr. Peabody, he glimpsed momma and me and the car coming. That was just before it came to rest on the other side of the cash register.

He took a liking to momma, who took a liking to him, which kept her out of trouble, and Sally got to finish growing up. Years would pass before she’d realize how profound the experience was and how large a part it played in how she lived her life.

Sally’s willing to take the necessary risks when the goal feels right and the people wanting it are worth the challenge. What she learned from growing up with her mother was to anticipate: anything can take you off course.

She’s learned to evaluate, on the fly when necessary, that sometimes you have to take control away from those people who can destroy more than what looks like a summer night’s drive to the moon.

That’s what Sally does, and her boss trusts her to do it well.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A caller asked what advice I had for the graduating class of 2011. He introduced the subject by describing how successful his youngest daughter had become. She was five years out of college and making a salary none of us dared dream at her age. His concern was not for her financial future but for her ability to relate to those around her.

“She’s as bright as she can be, and personable, too,” he said, “but she doesn’t have a life outside her job. Her friends are all in technology as she is, and they’re all running at warp speed. Her mother and I barely have a conversation with her. She crackles with energy, but it’s all between her ears. She’s as wired as the equipment she works on.  When we ask her about taking a little time off for the holidays, for vacations, she bristles. “Now’s not the time. I could fall behind.”

“When IS the time?” we ask.

“When I retire.” she sighs, wearily, “in the next few years.”

She’s 25 years old.

Her dad is an impressive guy; chief operating officer for a mid sized manufacturer who’s not gotten where he is by slacking off. He’s clearly concerned for his talented daughter.

I asked him why. He thought about it for a while and this was his reply:

“I watch bright kids coming into our company. They’re intense. They’re smart.  They’re competitive. They want to prove just how good they are. We offer them high salaries, competitive benefits, and flexible work options. We don’t want them burning out and we can’t afford for them to leave. We have a heavy investment in them and they’re got our inventory locked in their heads.

They do the job we ask and more. But they don’t connect with the other employees. Maybe without meaning to, they set up adversarial relationships with their colleagues and that makes them difficult to work with.

So, to answer your question, I’m not worried about my daughter in a conventional sense. I’m concerned about this whole generation of young people. I’m concerned about a disconnect I see in this group. They don’t relate as we did and they don’t conduct business as we do. I’m not sure if they’re lacking our acumen or that we’re lacking theirs.”

That took us to the question at hand: what’s in store for these new graduates? What limitations might they experience? The fast crowd with the entrepreneurial spirit goes where it wants. They’re not concerned about who they travel with as long as they’re not held back. They want unlimited resources, cutting edge training, and no limits.

What can undo these young folks? Consensus building, conventional thinking, and each other. The technology field is frustrated by its inability to attract strong people managers even while dissuading those who would be.

How’s that? Those who are drawn to a field of unrelenting change do whatever it takes to stay current. It’s impossible, of course, but they are driven toward the effort. It’s the draw as well as the payoff. The biggest bucks go to those who know what’s hot and can provide it. Any time spent away from the keyboard is time wasted. Technology evolves. No loitering. People skills are rooted in time, process and patience and are neither valued nor pursued.

What can we learn from the Class of ’11? That complacency doesn’t win and this crowd wants to win. Their brand of urgency isn’t driven by anxiety. They’ve got plenty of the former, and that probably gives the rest of us plenty of the latter.

Their sense of urgency stimulates extra effort and makes them try harder. Urgency enables them to do more with less and do it faster.

The Class of 2011 and beyond will need to combine their passion for action with a vision that the rest of us can understand. They will need to move beyond mobilizing their own interests to mobilizing those around them. They will, in short, need to become leaders who drive the engines of technology to a values driven prosperity everyone can believe in.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com

Aana is  nine years old and bright. Really bright. I was interviewing her for a book chapter I’m writing about youngsters and their ideas about work and the workplace. She eased right  into our conversation and jumped at a chance to give me a crash course on Star Wars characters and the relative merits of becoming a Jedi Warrior. (She’s seriously considering the latter as a career choice. I was impressed.)

We made a deal. Once our interview began in earnest, Aana could call the shots: she could stop whenever she wanted,  and ask me whatever questions occurred to her. If she didn’t like a question I asked, she could tell me so, and answer it only if she wanted.

We cruised along for a while with Aana describing her hobbies and best field trips ever and what she cared about and why. She told me about school and her favorite teachers and her best subjects and then we hit “that moment”.  Aana’s  mom, who was sitting with us, got the nod from her daughter, and respectfully left the room, giving Aana space to speak  privately.

Aana had asked her mother to leave when I asked what moms and dads need to think about before advising their children about careers. She was immediate and emphatic in her response.

“It’s OK for them to  pay attention to what their kids like doing, but not stop them from doing something or get upset when they stop doing it. They need to just stay loose. Parents worry too much. They need to go with the flow. “

I asked for some explanation, some illustration of what she meant.

“Like if  you are collecting Beanie Babies and then you stop. It should be OK to stop because you’re finished doing it. It doesn’t mean something is wrong or that  you shouldn’t have started to collect them. It just means that’s all you want to do it. You’re ready to do something else.”

“They just worry too much,” she said, still on a roll. ”They worry too much about stuff they shouldn’t worry about and don’t worry enough about the stuff they ought to worry about.”

“What should they worry about?” I asked.

“About being a family. Being a family is more important than having a job.”

I asked how she knew.

“Because, ” she said, “I’m a kid. Kids know these things better than parents do.”

“How can kids know better than their parents?” I wondered aloud.

“‘Because we see it from the inside. They see it from the outside.”

“What shouldn’t they worry about?” I asked.

“They shouldn’t  worry about what their kids should be when they grow up. Their kids are going to be just fine.”

I’ve given a lot of thought to that conversation with Aana, when I was once again reminded that  we grown-ups need to talk less and listen more. And that we do worry more than we need, about things that will sort themselves out,  if we will just get out of  the way long enough to let it happen. When Aana said that being a family is more important than having a job, I knew that she hit the epicenter of every working parent’s concern. Moms and dads, whether living together or apart, worry about their family’s well being. They worry if they can possibly provide enough, teach enough, and care enough to make their children safe enough.

“Parents worry too much. They should go with the flow. We see it from the inside.”

Worry knits your brow and grinds your teeth. It  tightens your voice and tenses your stomach and makes you sound like someone you aren’t.  Worry keeps you from being a family, because someone who looks like you, is taking your place and sucking the joy out of  your life. What does any of  this have to do with this column and your career? Everything, if wherever you are, you are worrying about where you aren’t. Everything, if you believe you have the power to keep all bad things from happening, at home and at work. Everything, if  worrying  keeps the best there is about you a secret, from those who care about you and rely upon you, most. By the way, when Aana left that day, she asked me to tell her mom what she had told me.

And that’s why I’m telling you.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.