Question from a reader: Left after layoffs

August 30, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Comments Off

Q: “I like what I do but after three years and living through three downsizings I still don’t feel like I fit in or belong here. My prior experience and the way I carry myself professionally have made me unpopular. Being popular is not my goal but I feel like I’m not able to contribute fully when I feel so isolated. Help! My work life is becoming the pits.”

A: This reader describes several concerns at once: How can you fit in when your style is different from the people you work with? How can you be effective when you don’t feel accepted? Why aren’t people more accepting of others? And finally, does surviving several layoffs in the same company impact how you are perceived and received by others?

Fitting in when you don’t: Employers and job applicants should pay as much attention to matching the workplace culture as they do in matching skill sets to job requirements. Each should evaluate the opportunities, challenges, and likelihood of successful transition. Too often hurdles aren’t acknowledged, much less addressed, leaving old team members and new employees to struggle with conflicting workstyle preferences. (Tip: Read Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman).

Not only is it difficult to feel effective when you don’t feel accepted, it’s frustrating and energy wasting when you have to spend more time getting along with others than in getting your job done. Unless you focus on blending your style with theirs you may in for a rough ride. (Tip: The boss doesn’t fire you, your colleagues do).

Accepting others and being accepted is requisite for good working relationships. For some, it happens almost immediately. For others it takes a longer time. How long is too long? It depends on who has to struggle with it.

What gets in the way? If how you look, talk, interact or relate with the boss or co-workers consistently deviates from the prevailing norm, you’re likely to get cut out of the herd. It doesn’t matter if that’s right or wrong, “behaving differently” costs. If you dress up in a dress down environment, or vice versa, you’ll stir up talk by barely trying. One-up a co-worker in front of the boss, and you’re bound to get a nasty reaction. Come in late when everyone comes in early, and you’ll be marginal in more ways than one.

Figure out the new culture by observing it. If you’re not sure what it is, or want to confirm your understanding of it, ask employees who seem connected, not those who look as outside the loop as you feel.

Speaking of other employees, do they have a responsibility in accepting new employees to the team? You bet they do.

High performing teams realize that the key to their professional success turns on everyone having the opportunity to achieve the group’s goals. To buy in you have to know what they are, why they exist, and the part you play in getting there. Trade-offs occur when one person is willing to help another. Trust evolves as individuals have consistently positive experiences with each other. You can’t ask new players to prove themselves as valuable contributors if you’re not willing to show them how your game is played.

On a final note: surviving several downsizings can leave victors feeling victimized. They try to protect themselves from further damage by withdrawing from their colleagues. Help break the cycle. Reach out to each other and create community in the workplace. It sure beats whatever is in second place.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Filed Under: Questions
Tagged: Career Management, Downsizing, Emotional Intelligence, fear, Lay Offs, Managing Your Career, Questions, transitions

Take a Moment for….

August 23, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Comments Off

She said she’s getting out of the business.

“Why in the world would you do that? You’re more successful than you’ve ever been. You told me that you love your work and the feeling you have when helping people get what they want. It’s working! Why leave now?”

She said that business is booming and she has to drive customers away with a stick. She’s making lots of money and the challenges keep coming. The problem is that she’s working herself to death.

The way she looked when she said it told me how awful her truth was.

“So slow down. Take on fewer customers. Take a little time for yourself.”

She said that she couldn’t.

“That doesn’t make sense. How could you not?”

She said it doesn’t work that way.

“Then why do you drive yourself so hard? Why do you push until you burn out?

“Because it’s there”, she said, “because it’s there.”

How many of you pound rock and push it up hill because the rock is there and the hill’s in the way? You’re programmed to do it the way you’ve always done it. Regrettably, you’re going to get what you’ve always got.

Without meaning to, you’re taking a job that you love and working it until it kills you or you kill it.

In this case, my friend is killing it. She’ll probably be under lawn and garden arrest before garnering the necessary strength to venture back into the work world and do it yet again. Does she have a problem? You bet she does. She needs to change her program.

There are people in all sectors of work who happily share this individual’s unrelenting drive and ambition. Those who have enjoyed success balancing the effort they exert with the benefits they receive, continue to be happily productive. Yes, they really do it all.

They have the ability to understand where, when and how the most important aspects of their lives intersect and have the discernment to effectively relate those, one to the other. That’s called perspective.

Perspective without action is theory without application; it may be interesting but do you care?

If you want to replace your blind spot with insight and are ready to do something about what you see, take ownership of the part you play.

I have some questions for you. Take your time when answering them. You rushed yourself into these problems, you can’t rush yourself out of them.

Who’s doing what to whom? Why? For what purpose?
Who stands to benefit? Who stands to lose?
How much work is too much? How do you know?
Why should you care? What difference will it make?
Separate your professional goals from your personal needs and evaluate the latter in terms of the more humanistic aspects of your life: the emotional, intellectual, the physical and spiritual. Take a weekend walk and talk to a friend. Leave your watch at home.
Where have you developed most?
Where have your grown the least?
If you were to seek internal and external balance, what difference might it make in the way you live your personal and your professional life?
How difficult is it for you to acknowledge and describe your personal needs and wants? Who nurtures you? Who willingly carries the load for you when you’re tired and encourages you when you’re down?

This is not a gender issue. The need to be whole and affirmed for who you are, not just what you do, is something that we all share, universally. If you believe that the weight of the world sits squarely on your shoulders, you allowed the world put it there. Sit down, take a load off. Someone else can pound rock for a while.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Filed Under: Managing Your Career
Tagged: Self-Awareness, Work Life Balance

Question from a reader: What do I do if I’m left hanging?

August 16, 2011 by Editor · Comments Off

Q: It is very frustrating and unprofessional to keep someone “hanging” after an interview and not inform them if they have the job or not. People want to work and want to know if they should continue their search. Over the past year I’ve been on at least two dozen interviews and several firms never informed me as to the status of their selection process. What’s your take on this?

A. Unless you’ve experienced both sides of the interviewer’s table, it’s hard to know what job applicants or hiring managers face when conducting a job search.

Companies can be flooded by responses to advertised positions. Many applicants produce work histories that have no obvious connection to the position posted. That doesn’t mean that people applying couldn’t do the job, but that their resumes don’t make their case for them. So, they are eliminated, often without a company representative writing or calling to say that they will not be considered. Like it or not, that is customary and acceptable.

This reader has gotten through the resume-screening portion of the search. He has landed interviews and has not received status reports from his interviewers. He should have. When a company representative invites an applicant to become a bonafide candidate there is an unwritten but professional expectation that each party will keep the other informed as to the level of interest one has in the other. That’s how it ought to be, but what do you do if the company hasn’t bought, ought?

Candidates who are interested in the job are proactive in advancing their candidacy.

What can they do to get the information they need?

Here are a few strategies that take the offensive without being offensive:

“Mr. Jones, this is Sam Ram. I interviewed with you on June 11th for the position of Senior Accountant. I am very interested in that position and would like an opportunity to speak to you at greater length. I am available Tuesday or Wednesday mornings of next week, at either 7:30 or 8:30 a.m. Which would be the better time for you?”

You stated your interest in the position and your availability for a second interview. There are no guarantees that Mr. Jones will agree to see you but you will get one of a variety of responses:
“Sam, I’m glad you called. Right after you left our office the boss’s son stopped by and we offered him the job. You know how it goes. Sorry, Sam.”
“Sam, we put that job on hold. Didn’t anyone call you? Our sales aren’t what we hoped for and we’ve frozen all openings for the next quarter.”
“Sam, glad you called. Next Wednesday morning at 7:30 a.m. works for me. See you then.

What if Mr. Jones won’t take or return your calls? You’ve tried all times of the day and night and after several weeks and more than a dozen attempts later you decide to try something different. You send a self addressed stamped postcard with three requests for action:
Sam, call us to set your next interview.
Sam, we’d like to hire you. Call us to talk specifics.
Sam, you’re a good man but we’re no longer interested in your candidacy.

Ask Mr. Jones or his representative to check the appropriate statement and return the card to you.

Manners, time crunch, and professionalism aside, most employers don’t follow up on interviews for two reasons: 1) they don’t have good news and 2) the recipient isn’t apt to like bad news. If hiring authorities are willing to take applicants’ time and energy to interview, they have an obligation to return the favor with the truth when they know it, straight up and without hesitation.

Candidates: if several weeks pass without response to your interview or follow-up calls, assume that the opportunity no longer exists. Their silence says more about how they do business than you ever wanted to know. Let it go and find something better.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Filed Under: Questions
Tagged: Communication, Interviewing, job search, Managing Your Career, Questions, unemployed

The Straw that Broke…

August 9, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Comments Off

I’m getting used to calls about workplace stress. What’s gotten my attention lately are all the calls about workplace abuse.

American business and industry are known for having more workplace stress, abuse, and violence than our counterparts in other developed nations. The simple explanation is that we are more competitive, entrepreneurial, and bottom line. We seem to like that. Not that we are violent, but that we are competitive. Stress is the norm.

Add to that mix, our recent and increasing drive to do it all faster, with fewer people, so that we can make more money. Little wonder that stress, the feeling, has turned into abuse, the behavior.

What does it look and sound like? Probably like home, on a really bad day. Gone are the company manners, and replacing them are the screamers and tantrum throwers.

What happens next depends on the organization. In some, the “disgruntled” are removed quickly and quietly, never to be spoken of again. Sometimes the abuser becomes the scapegoat and is shunned. Sometimes they are ignored or tolerated. On occasion, abuse turns violent, and becomes the lead story on the 6 o’clock news.

What’s acceptable anger and what’s abusive behavior? The answer lies in degrees.

You all have those days when nothing goes right, inside or outside the office, and your defense mechanisms jam. You lose it, expletives flying and steam released, until you can collect yourself and return to your regular programming.

If it happens once in a great while and you’re otherwise considered a great performer, all is forgiven. They call you “human” and “normal”; like they know. That’s acceptable.

If you are typically over the top, allowing your frustrations and impatience to spew all over the office and splatter its human contents, you are uniformly considered a jerk, and worse. That’s abusive and unacceptable.

What should you do when someone loses it all over you? Don’t jump in the mix with them. It doesn’t make sense to argue with or attempt to mollify someone who’s acting out. Give the person space and time to work it off. Their temper is typically self directed or situation directed, and not directed at you. Go about your business. Obviously, if they are threatening themselves or others, get help immediately. If they are abusive, let your management know. Abusive behavior is dysfunctional and unacceptable in a public workplace.

Abusive behavior is unacceptable for more reasons than the discomfort that it creates. When these excesses are tolerated, there is higher absenteeism and increased turnover. Employee safety, company security, and product quality are affected. And if you’re sensitive to the bottom line, that hurts.

Before you wrap this up and put it away, what are you treating; the symptoms or the cause? Are abusive employees, who have managed to get you angry, distracting you from recognizing the systemic workplace problems that are at issue?

If you will objectively listen to what they’re saying instead of how they’re saying it you’ll have a chance to solve both problems.

In the 1990′s, W. Edwards Deming boosted business recovery when he incorporated the principles of Total Quality Control into American factories and government. When these principles were systematically practiced and the standards of workplace behavior were changed from negative to positive, the resulting behaviors changed accordingly.

Make it easy to remember:

Break the code of silence and confront abusive behaviors.

Involve employees in decisions that affect them.

Resolve employee issues rather than avoid them.

Replace employee fear with trust.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Filed Under: Managing Your Career
Tagged: Communication, Problem Solving, Stress

More than Techniques

August 2, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Comments Off

I’ve written posts dedicated to the trials and tribulations of introverted employees who recognize their own potential while realizing that others don’t. I have described described techniques that the more quiet among us can use should they wish to become more visible, viable, and recognized members of the work community.

I’ve received some feedback: Many people don’t like “techniques”. They have an aversion to behaving in ways that are contrary to how they see themselves. They would rather remain true to their nature than to be seen as superficial, at best, and phony, at worst.

If that’s a concern of yours, and you’d rather not change yourself into a copy of someone else, let’s work with your strengths and ways to leverage them:

Most introverts don’t just listen; they have the natural capacity to listen deeply. They don’t take some information in, they take it all in. They stir it around, shove it here and poke it there. They don’t let go of the content or the intent until they have made sense of it. They connect it to information that arrived earlier and what they’ll take in later. They make sense of what they hear, and when invited, can present the abridged version of it, to those requesting their insights.

Introverts have the ability to contribute in significant ways to the process and progress of meetings. They take the varied comments that others make, assimilate, then aggregate them into a coherent whole. When they speak, they summarize what’s been said, without hyperbole. They connect the dots without having to control the dots.

Introverts, when working one on one, excel at providing feedback regarding the information their talking partner has just provided. They react in ways that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues than might otherwise be expected.

Anyone who chooses can maximize the introverts’ listening strength by 1. Invitation 2. Realization. 3. Presentation.

Invitation: Ask questions and give introverts sufficient time to respond. Introverts prefer to think before speaking, which necessitates pausing before they begin. If extroverts (who are more apt to speak before thinking) jump into the pause, the introvert will hold back. They’ll return to assimilating, editing, and silently testing the receptivity of the listener. So if you invite their thoughts, mean it, and listen to what they have to say.

Realization: Most introverts aren’t willing to compete for airtime against the more verbally aggressive and loquacious extroverts. They wait for an invitation to speak, an invitation they’re not apt to get. Why don’t they? Because they’re the quietest people in the room. How are others to know of their deep listening skills, their wit and wisdom? The likelihood of being asked an opinion, when not making an effort to offer one, is slim to none.

Presentation: Introverts don’t have much experience making presentations. When they must, they second-guess the phrasing, tonality, even banality of their expression. They seldom speak outside a select audience (close family, close friends), so they can be distracted by the sounds their voices make in a suddenly silent room. It isn’t surprising that as self critical as they are, they prefer to say less, not more. That’s everyone’s loss. It’s not that introverts are more or less intelligent, they just think longer and harder about what they hear and what they want to say.

Introverts: Bottom line, it’s going to take more energy than what you are currently expending to get your strengths out where the world (or your boss) can see them. You have more to offer than others realize. Provide them the visible and audible substance they need to determine that you not only have potential but also have the courage to act on it.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box: