Dedicated to Teachers Everywhere

By the time we arrived at our old family home we were bone tired. It was good to get off the road and open the door to a safe place of summer reflection. It was the perfect occasion to reminisce…

I was entering elementary school and I still didn’t talk. I was born into a family that was extroverted, emotional, musical, and exhausting. There was so much commotion in our house I had no desire to contribute to it. So I didn’t.

My first grade teacher didn’t seem to think it was odd that I didn’t say anything. She assigned me a desk, made sure I got lunch, and went on with the day. The year ended as it began.

Our second grade teacher was magical. She looked like Snow White and children whistled while they worked. She was young, happy, and smart. Or seemed to be, despite the fact that she didn’t seem to understand that I had nothing to say.

She’d ask me a question about arithmetic or spelling, wait for an answer, and act as though I gave one. The children, exasperated at her effort or frustrated with her innocence, repeatedly groaned, “Joyce doesn’t talk.” If she noticed she didn’t show it. Instead, she’d nod her approval and call on the next child. The same would happen at recess, which I’d spend situated in the crook of big shade tree. She’d stop by to visit, listen to me think, nod, smile, and continue her rounds.

We were nearing the end of the school year when she announced we were going to turn our favorite story, Hansel and Gretel into a play and… before she could finish her sentence the children went wild, waving their arms, vying for starring roles. She ignored the outburst. “Jimmy will play Hansel,” she said, “Susan will play Gretel, and the Witch will be played by…” the room hushed as she named the last of three cast-members, the one all remaining second graders now aspired…

“Joyce,” she said. Well, that did it. The class revolted. “JOYCE DOESN’T TALK!!!!” She was not moved. Her decision was final. The play would begin right after lunch.

She perched a hat on Hansel, tied an apron on Gretel, and tucked me inside the shimmery folds of her beautiful, black silk coat. I was perfectly, absolutely invisible.

It was show time. Hansel and Gretel, lost in the woods, made their way to the witch’s house where I, concealed inside the teacher’s coat, awaited them. That’s when it happened.

The witch cackled. She cackled, I cackled! Out loud, in a very scary, very convincing witch’s voice… and no one, not Hansel or Gretel, responded. Wondering where they all went, I peered out from my hiding place just as they cried out, “Joyce can talk!” They jumped up and down, hugged each other and best of all, they hugged me.

At our old family home, sitting in the midst of childhood memories, I received a phone call from my teacher, who is now 81. She was going through a scrapbook, found a letter I had written a very long time ago, telling her what she had meant to me. She wanted me to know what that letter meant to her.

My teacher, Jean House, had talent, grace, curiosity, intuition, infinite patience, and she changed my life. She taught school that one year and I had the extraordinary good fortune to have been one of her students.

To you who teach, who tutor, coach or mentor, from those of us who have benefited from your care, concern, and wisdom… we want you to know how much you have touched our lives.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Keeping Your Balance with Reorganization

Heads up, friends and neighbors. Companies are reorganizing and if you’re working for them you know what that means: the earth is going to move under your feet. If you want to keep your balance even as those around you might be losing theirs, think about what you want to do, what you say and who you to say it to.

Let’s begin with the “Don’ts”:

Don’t engage in a whisper campaign against management. In fact, don’t whisper about anything, even surprise parties. Don’t huddle in small groups, or large groups, or groups of any size.

Don’t hide. Don’t keep your head down. Don’t duck responsibility. Don’t shrug your shoulders. Don’t argue, defend, or attempt to explain why you’re arguing, defending, and explaining.

Don’t look for your boss. And if you locate him, or her, don’t make unreasonable requests (“You’ll protect me, right?”) or ask questions they can’t answer because 1. They don’t know and would rather not say, 2. They do know and have been told not to say, 3. They don’t know what they don’t know and that’s pretty embarrassing.

Don’t hang out with dooms-dayers, nay- sayers, boss bashing, hair tossing, eye rollers and co-workers prone to public meltdowns. They’ll drain the energy you need to stand upright and get your job done.

What should you do?

Push the negativity aside. There’s plenty you can do, and ought to do, every day to stabilize yourself and the people who work with you. Opt for solutions instead of problems. If you want to ask questions, ask what you can do to help in the transition. If you want to stay busy, focus on increasing the company’s revenues or improving its profitability. If you want to manage your emotions, control what you can and let the rest of it go.

The company is reorganizing. You should, too. Take inventory of your habits, behaviors, systems and processes and determine the ways you can save yourself and other’s time, energy, money, and aggravation. Instead of saturating yourself with blame for the situation you’re in, do something about it. If others are advancing because they appear to know more than you, do what they do; study, learn, and apply what you know in ways that can make an immediate difference for the organization. If they have the style and you have the substance and style appears to be winning, improve your style. Invite others to speak, to share their opinions, and add yours to theirs. Build bridges with ideas and connect ideas to actions that benefit the company.

If others appear to be advancing because they know the people you don’t know, do what they do. Put yourself out there. Introduce yourself to people you need to know and reintroduce yourself to people you need to know better. Go to meetings, get involved, get going on initiatives, and get back to the team with what’s happening. Get to know people who easily connect to people who have influence. Ask them what they need, and respond by telling them what you’ve done and can do and how you can be part of the solution.

If others are advancing because they have something to say; say something. Register opinions, offer perspectives, and advance ideas without having to be asked. Say what you mean like you mean it, without apology, hesitation, or fear of being second-guessed. Say it because it’s part of the answer, not part of the problem.

If others are advancing because they make decisions, be a decision maker. Get involved and involve others. Be informed and inform others. Re-affirm, re-think, re-invent, and re-organize yourself so that you add value to whatever comes next.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

It’s Always a Good Time for Change

According to the political writers, pundits, pollsters, and candidates, this is a time for change. Some describe change in ways that engage our hearts and imaginations. Some describe change in terms that are pragmatic and time bound.

When you call and email questions about jobs and your career, you want to talk about change. Some of your concerns focus on the future, some are about practical necessities, and some are fundamental to your systems of belief. You want to change jobs from the one you have to the one that’s a better match to what you aspire, do best, or value most. You may not be able to describe or define what change looks like (“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, I just know it’s got to be better than what I’m doing…”) but you do know this: 1. You are no longer satisfied with where you work or 2. Where you work is no longer satisfied with you. Something has to change.

When employers ask for team-building workshops, they want to focus on change. They’re changing the ways they do business; changing the expectations they have of employees; changing because everyone else is changing and to stand still is to fall behind. What does change look like? What are those expectations? They don’t say. What they do say, is what currently exists has to change, for the company to survive and thrive.

When companies hire and promote, they want those employees to enhance the company’s ability to assess markets, drive competitive advantage and seize opportunity. They want them to articulate vision, design strategy, consolidate power, and embolden teams to drive through to success.

Bottom line, they want to hire, train, and promote employees who can think strategically, design innovatively, and anticipate competitively. They want employees who are primed for change; who are and have demonstrated themselves to be intellectually and emotionally flexible, responsive, able to learn, go and grow in whatever direction necessary to both lead and respond to rapidly changing markets and economies.

If you’re looking for a job, this changing market demands that you change with it. That doesn’t mean you have to give up your foundational values or pragmatic responses or imaginative impulses. It does mean that you become increasingly mindful that openness and flexibility are more than buzz words reserved for interviews and performance reviews. Openness and flexibility can make the difference between getting hired or passed over; advancing or getting placed on the ‘do not retain’ list.

Openness: Your co-workers are as likely to live across the world as they are across town. You may speak to them daily and never see them. They may define time differently than you; they may not share your preference for action or your sense of urgency. They may prefer to go more slowly, to develop relationships, consider options, and process possibilities, over time instead of just in time.

Open your thinking to different ways of seeing problems before you begin to solve them. Shift from the limiting perspective of your comfort zone to the possibility that others see the world and its challenges differently from you. Open your thinking so that you listen and understand before you prescribe. Accept that the outcome you want or the problem you see can be different from what others experience or want to address. Open your thinking so that you understand that people of other cultures may be more rule regarding or open-ended, more deferential or authoritative, more direct or indirect in communicating ideas, than you. Recognize that insistence creates resistance and when that happens, nothing changes.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Own Your Mistakes: Actions Bring Consequences

If you’re like many hard drivers, you can be more than a little defensive when criticized for something you’ve said or done.

“What do you mean, I’m defensive? I’m just explaining what happened and why I did what I did!”

“That’s what I mean, you’re acting defensive. Just admit that you were rude this morning. I was in the middle of an important presentation and you cut me off.”

“Rude? How was I rude? You were taking forever. I jumped in to keep from falling asleep. Besides, how can an explanation be defensive? You’re the one who’s acting defensive because you just don’t want to hear the truth. You know who’s rude? You’re rude! I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time explaining this to you.”

Joe, you’re boldly going where you ought not to go, attempting to right a perceived wrong by arguing your way out of it. If you continue, you’ll create a bigger problem than the one you started.

“What am I supposed to do? Apologize for something that I didn’t intend, something that others balloon out of proportion?”

It’s your actions that get you in trouble, not your intentions. Actions have consequences. Apologize for the actions that you take that result in the consequences you don’t intend.

“How’s that? I don’t follow you.”

Instead of arguing, defending, or explaining, say something like, “I can understand why you felt that I was rude. I got carried away and interrupted when you were in the middle of making your point. I apologize.”

“That’s true. I did that. I got so excited I didn’t pay attention to what she was saying or what was going on around me. She’s right. I was rude. I didn’t mean to be. I’m feeling kind of embarrassed right now.”

Will you apologize?

“Sure, no problem.”

There are times you’re asked to explain things that you’d rather avoid, like “why were you let go from that job?” Cut to the chase. State what happened and describe what you learned.

“I learned two important lessons from that experience. The first: have more than one mentor in a company that’s undergoing major change, and the second: get experience in more than one area of specialization. By having more than one mentor I’ll be more aware of the influences that can impact my position. By cross training I’ll have greater flexibility and opportunity to add value, particularly if I can move from an area that’s being consolidated to one that’s expanding.”

There are times you think you’re funny and you’re not.

“Jack, you made a serious mistake when you told that joke in the staff meeting. It was crude and insulting. You know we don’t tolerate that around here.”

“You’ve got to be kidding! Everyone knew I was joking. Everyone was laughing! Besides, I’m not the only one who talks like that and you know it. I’m not taking the fall for this.”

“Stop arguing and just admit you made a mistake.”

“I’m not going to admit anything. You people are too sensitive. You’re always looking for a problem when there isn’t one. So I told a joke. It was funny. Get over it.”

“You people? Where are you going with this, Jack?”

Jack’s taking an error in judgment and escalating it to a problem of potentially damaging proportion.

“OK, so what was I supposed to do? I knew the conversation with my boss was getting out of control but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.”

Own your mistakes, whether they’re tactical or strategic, personal or professional. If you don’t step up, quickly and honestly, others will force you to, and it won’t be pretty.

“OK, I hear you, but what can I say?”

“I apologize and I’ll apologize to the people who were there. We were all laughing and story telling and I didn’t think. I learned a good lesson. A joke isn’t funny if it’s at someone’s expense.”

Your boss is likely to accept your statement and move on, unless you do it again. Trample on people’s rights, show disrespect, act with incivility, and no amount of quick talking apologizing will get you off the hook. Pay now or pay later. You choose.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Jack of All Trades; Master of None

Bright, talented and articulate, he’s ready to do anything and seems poised to do it all. Yet he’s stuck.

He’s the pin of a pin wheel, seeing multiple possibilities spinning by and instead of grabbing hold, is overwhelmed by them all.

He’s concerned that:

He’s a jack of all trades and master of none.

His eclectic interests attract him to a variety of opportunities.

He can’t focus on one job and dedicate himself to it.

This Jack is frustrated that his path to success looks more like a circular driveway.

What’s needed here is a a healthy change of perspective.

At their best, jacks of all trades are multi-talented, knowing a little about a lot and having the confidence to try most of them. They learn quickly and apply their learning in practical ways. They are typically helpful, wanting to share their newly discovered abilities and are ready for the challenge that comes from learning in the moment. Mistakes become “teachable moments”. Possibilities become opportunities for success.

What’s the application?

Jack should learn to describe himself in terms of the projects he enjoys doing, and the style that he prefers using.

What’s the job title he’s looking for?

With a successful track record he can go for positions of Project Manager or Project Director.

What’s the difference?

Project Managers are more hands-on and better at coordinating projects than people. They prefer to take their lead from the one in charge, and deliver the goods based upon the boss’s concrete and explicit expectations.

Project Directors are charged with and enjoy the design, development and execution of the project. They are hands-off, preferring to delegate the details to those designated to do that work. They coordinate the people, who in turn, coordinate the project.

What’s the Good News?

Jack likes projects because they provide the challenge, variety, flexibility, mobility and closure that he craves and that enable him stay with an assignment long enough to complete it.

What’s the Bad News?

Jack has a short attention span. Once the challenge and excitement of a new project has passed, his interest begins to wane. If he can’t close the project in fairly short order, his mind wanders until he locks onto something more exciting.

Is there a fail-safe plan?

If Jack works on projects that he’s interested in and cares about doing, he’s more likely to stay with them until they’re done. Jack makes that happen by finding opportunities: problems that need to be solved to improve efficiencies or effectiveness. Employers prefer assertive, can-do self starters who initiate this process, rather than those who sit and wait to be handed their assignments.

What’s next?

Jack will have to discipline himself to prioritize his projects and limit their number or he’ll be stuck in the pinwheel again.

Jack will have to be persuasive to get the job done. Without having the line manager’s clout or influence, Jack will learn that finesse is as important as function.

Jack’s ultimate success will depend on his team’s success. As their leader it will be his job to ensure that they share a common vision and believe that it’s worth the effort to make it happen. If they trust Jack and he models the behaviors that he expects from them, they will trust each other to communicate openly, efficiently and effectively.

It’s high time that Jack decides to take the wheel instead of being stuck in the middle of it.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Take Time, Take Charge: Do Circumstances Block Your Way?

The answer lies somewhere in the pause.

How many situations have you made worse because you stepped in where you weren’t needed, said more when less was enough, and offered opinions when none were requested?

How many times do you wish you’d said more, because less wasn’t enough? When you wish you’d offered a kind word or a statement of support?

There is nothing heroic about speaking first if speaking last is the wiser choice. There is no grace in turning away, when everything within you says, “do something, now.”

There is no valor in taking action when none is needed; in making decisions when consideration is all that is required. There is no merit in taking control when control is not yours to take.

The answer, sometimes, is in the hesitation, the afterthought that was the right thought, after all.

A business owner complained, repeatedly, of having too much to do and not enough time to think. “I need time to set strategy,” he said. “I need time to meet with my employees and my customers. This ‘crisis management’ is killing me and killing my business.”

He called the other day. “Bummer!” he shouted, before saying hello. “Can you believe this? Our biggest project has been delayed, and now I’m sitting here with time on my hands and nothing to do. This wait is gonna’ kill me.”

When I reminded him of the strategy he so desperately wanted to set, the employees and customers he so urgently wanted to see, he didn’t respond. I asked to be sure he was still on the line.

“I’m here”, he said quietly. “I’m here.” More silence.

“I’m thinking. I’m thinking that it didn’t occur to me that this is my chance to take care of what I’ve put to the side. Gotta’ go. I’ll talk to you later.”

A few weeks passed, and he called again. He sounded great, his voice mellow, his tone relaxed. I shared my impression and asked him to account for the change.

“I didn’t realize I was so transparent, but I’m not surprised. I’ve had a great couple of weeks. I’ve had the time to do that “walk around” managing I’ve always enjoyed, and I learned more about our problems then I ever knew existed. The management and leadership teams have had meetings with production employees from each shift, so we can learn from the shop floor up, what we can do to work smarter.

We’ve gotten manufacturing, quality, sales, distribution, and customer service talking to each other, and not a minute too soon. They’re getting their problems figured out, and have scheduled time to talk with product development and marketing. Then I’ve got all of them talking with accounting, finance and legal so we can be sure to align our perspectives and positions with missions and direction.

I’m working as hard as ever but haven’t felt this good in years. I think this is what they call ‘business balance’.”

I asked if he noticed any change in the behaviors or attitudes of his employees.

“Absolutely.” he said. “Everyone seems to have more energy. They’re getting along. I didn’t realize how bad morale was until we started this.”

“And what’s the most significant change you see?” I asked.

“We’re taking time to analyze the situation and solve what the problem is, not what it appears to be. We’re taking time to listen to what people are saying, instead of assuming that we know without they’re telling us. We’re listening to our customers and responding to what they need instead of making excuses to cover the mistakes we’re making.”

If you’re like this hard-charger, you’re addicted to work and want to do it all. You won’t stop and don’t think until circumstances block your way. Then you blame yourself for the things you’ve left undone, and turn worry into problems of mythic proportion. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Take time to take charge of your life and your business. Create mental and emotional space; gain perspective by taking stock; evaluate the inventory of what you’ve learned and make principled decisions that are based on doing the right things, for the right reasons.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, ezine or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Lessons for a Successful Career

It’s surprising, frustrating, and disappointing when our strengths, (“I’m so organized;” “I’m very decisive”), turn out to be our weaknesses (“He’s so compulsive!” “She’s so dictatorial!”).  Do any of the following apply to you?

Career lesson #1:  No one likes the smartest kid in the room if the smartest kid makes other kids look dumb.

When you’re launching your career it’s important to establish yourself as someone who is quick, bright, and eager to get the job done right. After you’ve gotten some experience under your belt, your employer and colleagues expect you to be a team player and individual contributor. As you continue to progress you’ll be asked to manage and mentor others. To be successful, you’ll need to shift your focus from being center stage to showcasing the talent of those you lead. Encourage them, reinforce their achievements, and give them the visibility they need to progress in their own right. Bottom line: The smartest kid in the class is the one who learns how to maximize the potential in others.

Career Lesson #2: Talk a good game but play a better one.

Talk is cheap. Walk is style. Performance is substance. You’ll need all three to succeed in any job. Bottom line: Under-promise and over-deliver.

Career Lesson #3: If you want to lose time, resources, and profitability, cut first, then measure.

Whether you’re the tinker, tailor, cabinet maker, or the CEO of a major company, you’ll need to access information available to you from sources that can provide it for you. If you don’t or won’t, you’ll squander time, talent and loyalty; qualities you and your company need to survive.

Career Lesson #4: The best communicators work at the intersection of Speaking, Listening, Reflecting, Probing and Responding.

Communication is a process through which information is exchanged. How clearly it is transmitted, how accurately it is translated, how well it is received and effectively responded to, are functions of the communicators involved. Good communication takes time, patience, courage, and compassion.

Career Lesson #5: Leaders manage and managers lead.

In a perfect world, leaders dedicate their time and attention to conceptualizing the vision and mission of their companies. They don’t concern themselves with the obstacles, pitfalls, and blind-spots to success; they leave those details to employees hired to look out for them.

Wake up call: it’s not a perfect world, it’s a real world. Leaders, worthy of the name, pay for it with honesty and integrity. They ask the tough questions and listen to news they’d rather not hear. They make the changes they ought, doing the right things for the right reasons. They accept accountability along with responsibility and learn from experience.

Career Lesson #6: Members of the “Been There Done That” Society need fresh perspectives to survive.

The best employees thrive on challenge, opportunity, and possibility, whether it’s fixing what’s broken, simplifying what’s complex, or creating what’s never been. They need managers who maximize their potential, demand their best and reward their success.

Career Lesson #7:  The boss doesn’t fire you, your direct reports do.

Ouch. That’s the zinger that always stings. Managers looking for career longevity aren’t going to make it if they’re playing up to the boss while kicking around their employees. The manager’s job is to be appropriately responsive to all employees, no matter their position or power. The manager’s job is to be accountable to every person, challenging fairly, promoting accordingly. Playing favorites with some while abusing others gets you a ticket to the unemployment line, and that’s something you don’t want to get punched.

Career Lesson # 8: It takes more than a week at the beach to have a balanced life.

If you’re a much different person at home than you are at work, you’re out of balance. If you give much more to your employees than you do to your family, you’re out of balance. If you deprive yourself in service to others, you’re out of balance. Give yourself a break. Give your brain some time to absorb, collate and file the information you dump into it everyday. Give yourself time to separate what’s important from what’s making the most noise.

The most successful people plan for tomorrow by leaving time for today.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Professional Maturity vs. Social Sophistication

He said that he was impatient, hard driving, focused, bottom-line. That he had trouble with people who wanted to think aloud, taking everyone’s time, noodling about what ought to have been immediately clear to everyone present. That his idea was good, it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. So, he did what any clear thinking person would have done, he blew up. Well, not totally. But he did say in very emphatic terms that he wouldn’t sit through these interminable meetings and have his time wasted by individuals who didn’t know enough to speak intelligently about the subject at hand. With that, he left the room.

He thought the subject was closed. He made his point. What was left to say? Plenty, apparently. He was informed that he was to apologize, immediately, to the management team, or be denied the promotion and salary increase that he had so long worked to attain.

He was willing to meet, he said, to explain his position. “Not good enough,” he was told.

“Why should I apologize?” he screamed into the ear that I was holding at a respectful distance from the telephone receiver. “Why am I the bad guy and these idiots get away with making it so? Why should my career be threatened because they don’t know the truth when it smacks them in the head and kicks them in the behind?”

“Do you want me to respond or do you want to keep venting?” I asked.

“I want to know how to answer them without feeling like I’m giving in,” he said. “I want to explain myself. I realize I was too emotional. But I won’t apologize for anything else.”

“What’s your ‘end’ in mind,” I asked. “What do you want to have happen as a result of that conversation?”

Silence. I didn’t hear him breathe.

“Good question,” he said. “And I don’t have an answer.”

I knew then he was ready to listen.

“Being ‘right’ isn’t reason enough to demand that others agree with you. Being ‘right’ isn’t sufficient cause for others to abandon their perspective.”

“Okay. Maybe you’re right. What am I supposed to do? I’ve got integrity and I won’t compromise it to pander to people I don’t respect.”

“If you don’t respect the people on your team, why are you working for that company?”

“I misspoke. I do respect them. They’re smart, they’re smooth, and they’re sophisticated. To tell the truth, and I hadn’t thought about this until just now, I don’t think they respect me. That’s why I get angry.”

“Why wouldn’t they respect you?”

“Well, they went to ivy-league schools and have advanced degrees. They know how to dress, and what to say. They pick the right restaurants and choose the right wines. They’ve got class. I don’t. I didn’t get that in my house. Believe me, I wouldn’t trade my parents or my life, because that’s how I’ve gotten as far as I have, but I sure could use a little more polish.”

“What would polish do for you?”

“I’d be more patient, more understanding, I’d listen better because I wouldn’t feel like I always have to prove myself.”

“What do you have to prove?”

“That I have a right to be in the room. I have a right to a seat at the table. And I’ll fight for that right because I’ve earned it and I’m not going back to how I lived or where I lived, ever again.”

“It sounds like fighting for that right will guarantee you a ticket to where you don’t want to go.”

“Looks like it.”

“You’re smart, you’re quick, you connect the dots while others are still arranging them on the paper. You’re creative and passionate. You have everything that you need to succeed but…”

“But?”

“You have lessons to learn:  There are more ways than your way to solve problems, craft visions, and initiate processes. You can be intelligent and have viewpoints that add value and not be demeaning to others. It’s about professional maturity, not social sophistication.”

“It’s about winning as a team and beating the competition instead of beating up the team and losing my chance to play.”

“You’ve got it.”

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executiveand career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Unrealistic Fear

Tom (Dick, or Harry) has a problem. He’s in way over his head. Competent, well educated, articulate, he’s scared of the slippery slope that lies ahead. He could veer off the path, but he’s chosen to stay the course. And he’s relieved it will soon be over. They’re going to fire him, he just knows it.

Realistic fear? Realistic, no, not remotely. Fear, yes, absolutely. I’ll leave the psychological evaluations to those who specialize in that, and work with the career side of the equation.

This individual is surprisingly typical of many talented employees. He masks his fear and no one knows he’s in trouble. He looks calm, cool, and externally collected. Internally, he’s a mess. He’s not sleeping and fixated on worry, thinks of little else. His ultimate concern isn’t job loss; it’s what lies at the bottom of the slope: it’s the box under the bridge. And he’s living in it.

If you’re one of the competent, intelligent, emotionally healthy and otherwise self aware employees who get yourselves in such a tangle, I have some suggestions for you:

Get real: It may be typical of you to underestimate your talents and abilities. You probably focus on what you don’t do well and ignore where you excel. Own your best stuff. Outline your strengths, describe your attributes and don’t stick a “yea, but” in there.

Delegate: One of your challenges is forcing yourself to “give it away.” You’re convinced that no one else can do it (whatever it is) as well, or as quickly, or as expertly, as you. Critical error. The more work you keep, the more you do. Yes, you did handle it all earlier in your career. Since then you’ve been promoted to positions of increasing responsibility and visibility. You’ve taken on more direct reports and more authority. And you’ve not let go of what your subordinates should be doing. That’s too much for one person to handle. Even you.

Team leadership: Your job as a leader/manager is to help guide your organization toward meeting and exceeding its goals. You have two primary objectives:

1. To provide your subordinates the appropriate training, development, empowerment and opportunity to become interdependent, reliable, accountable team players. It’s their job to overcome obstacles, anticipate the unexpected, and accept responsibility for consequences that result from their actions. Give them room to do it.
2. To be part of a leadership team that designs and communicates a compelling strategic vision that enables employees to take the action steps necessary to make it happen.

Get organized: Organize what is yours to do, not what others should be doing. If you are procrastinator, avoiding issues that are looming large, it’s essential that you engage, immediately. If you are spending the time you have on low priority projects that are more appropriate for others to complete, break the cycle. Delegate.

Take stock: How’s your health? When’s the last time you went for a check-up? If it’s been more than a year, make an appointment. It’s not that anything’s wrong with you, it just helps to minimize concerns that nibble around the edges, and your physician’s office is a healthy place to start.

Regular vacations are essential to your well being: High performance engines require quality maintenance. Why do less for yourself than you would do for your car or lawnmower? Take sufficient time away from work, phones, computers, email, and trade papers to recalibrate your body clock to sleep restfully until you wake. Recalibrate your mental models so that you can read, play, and celebrate for the joy of it.

Get out of your head: If you’re unable to focus, at home or at work, and feel overwhelmed, it’s time to get help from a professional. Sometimes all it takes is talking with someone who is both objective and empathetic. Other times it takes more and it takes longer. Be open to the process that works best for you. You’re worth it.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Is the “Tough Gal” on the Derailment Track?

This gal is tough. She’s smart, quick, aggressive, and focused. You better know what you’re doing or she’ll nail you, whether you’re in a meeting with clients or sitting down with your boss and the CEO.

She’s arrogant. She swaggers when she talks, and she’s dismissive of any opinion that doesn’t agree with hers. She keeps her job because she delivers. She keeps her promises and she makes money.

Her peers, subordinates, even her bosses find her hard to take, and she succeeds despite them, probably because she keeps getting promoted. There’s no holding her back and no one wants to. “Let her make money and stress out somebody else.”

But is she a bad employee? A negative influence? Since it’s all in the eyes of the beholders, let’s talk to a few of them and get their fix on the situation:

A direct report says, “As a woman, I like having a woman boss and I like the fact that she’s strong. Yes, she can be over powering, and yes, she can be intimidating, and yes, she plays like the big boys, and I like that. I can learn from her, a lot of women can learn from her. Is she perfect? Far from it. She expects a great deal of herself, and expects too much from us. She has the energy and capacity to work 24/7 without acting frazzled or looking frayed around the edges. She wants us to keep up, and not complain about the pace and standard she sets. We can’t do either. Many of us have families and commitments that require our off the clock time and attention.

I’ve learned how to work with her. I know that she likes people who aren’t afraid of her, who have well formed opinions and can tell her what they are, without exaggeration or hesitation. She doesn’t respect anyone who holds back.

I’ve learned not to complain, but to set boundaries, and it works. I’m clear about what I can and cannot do. If she overloads me, making every assignment sound like a three-alarm fire, I outline what she’s already told me to do and ask her to prioritize. She immediately tells me what’s the hottest on the list, and I deliver.

When she pushes too hard, and I protest firmly, with good humor, she’ll back off, but just for a while. Then she’s back at it. I’m glad she works here and glad I’ve had the opportunity to work for her. I’m stronger (and exhausted) for the experience.”

A peer says: “She’s difficult and uncompromising and I’m surprised that she gets away with it. Until recently we’ve not had any women in upper management so the leadership team may be accommodating her style by giving her more room than she deserves. She may intimidate them. Not by her intelligence, as smart as she is, but by the number of women in support roles who think she’s the standard bearer of gender equality.

If I were her boss, I’d set her straight. She’s rude, impatient, and whether she admits it or not, she doesn’t have all the answers. I’ll wait her out. I bet she’s gone in a year.”

Her boss says: “She’s can be edgy and abrupt, no doubt about it, and we’ve got her working with a coach for just those reasons. The good news is, she doesn’t take herself too seriously, has a sharp sense of humor, and holds her own, whatever the topic.

She’s tough as nails but I tell you, she gets what she goes after, for the company as well as for herself. I’ve seen her jump all over a poor performer and protect someone who’s going through a bad patch. We’re lucky she’s working for us and not the competition. We’ll do what it takes to keep her.”

What’s the sum?

If you deliver what you promise, improve the bottom line, give employees what they need and challenge them to do their best, you’re a keeper. If you withhold support, training, and positive leadership, spend more than you make, insult more than a few people along the way, and think you’re always right, you’re on track for derailment.

Any questions?

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Next Page »