What’s working? Plenty. Claire (whose name is fictitious and behavior is real) is independent, self reliant, and self -starting. She thinks fast and talks faster. She’s analytic, organized and a wizard at remembering the details; all of which enable her to nail a problem at 500 paces. It’s what she does with the problem she’s nailed that’s her downfall:

“Who’s responsible? Who’s to blame? Somebody did it, own up!”

Suddenly she’s out of control, screaming, finger pointing, accusing every employee within earshot of conspiracy aimed at ruining her and the company. Once she’s satisfied the culprits have been blamed (if not found) she’s chasing another problem. By the time Claire gets home she’s exhausted. Here’s how she describes her day:

“I find problems and I want whatever’s broken to get fixed. It takes time and money to repeat the same errors, and we don’t have any to waste. What’s the matter with the people who work for this company? No matter how many times I point out the obvious, they either ignore the problem or what I’m telling them. I just don’t understand how they can care so little about their work or their workplace.”

You might wonder, what’s so bad? She’s doing her job, others aren’t, so why is that her problem and why is she getting fired? Ask her employees and they’ll tell you:

Claire’s a human wrecking ball. She thinks she’s great at finding problems? She creates more than she can ever hope to find. Just about everyone who’s left here, left because they’re no longer willing to take her insulting, in your face style. She’s one of those people who takes on too much then gets overwhelmed by the workload she asked for. She never wants help, never delegates anything, never asks for an opinion, and gets angry if you offer one. She’s a piece of work that no one wants to work for.

Claire’s in terminal trouble because she’s taken her strengths and turned them into liabilities. She assumes the worst and is determined to prove it. Her employees don’t respond to her attacks because they’re busy defending themselves. They have to because she doesn’t give them a chance to be part of the solution.

Claire’s an equal opportunity blamer. She treats her boss, peers, and subordinates the same way. She either greets them with a laundry list of what’s broken or bursts into their space with a snarling; “Did you know this was going on?” Whether she’s delivering a pronouncement or asking a question, it all sounds alike: “You idiot! You’ve done it again!”

Claire’s managing a business that’s battered by a wounded economy and a damaged national spirit. Employees need Claire to rally their support and loyalty. Claire’s boss needs her to be a problem solver, not a problem maker. As much as he doesn’t want to fire her, he needs someone who can mend, not tear the fabric of his organization.

Can she do it?

If she has to become someone else to achieve it, she can’t and won’t. Claire doesn’t want to maximize her weaknesses to minimize her strengths. She shouldn’t have to.

Claire needs to let employees be part of the solution. She may be great at finding what’s broken but she hasn’t demonstrated a talent for creating processes that don’t break. Her job is to access the ideas and suggestions of those who work with the system, rather than blame them when the system doesn’t work. They can either tell her how to fix it, or if she gives them the authority, they can fix it themselves.

Bottom line: Claire needs to level the playing field. There’s a trade-off between what she needs and doesn’t know and what other employees know and need. Blaming pushes them and their information away. Her goal may be to maximize company profits by minimizing waste but she’ll never get there if she’s the only one left in the game.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Let’s face it. You don’t have to speak up if you don’t want to. You don’t have to ask for what you believe is rightfully yours. Just be prepared for the consequences when you don’t:

She told me that she worked harder than anyone in her department. She came early and stayed late. She did her job in addition to what others didn’t want to do or never got around to doing. She never asked for anything in return. She didn’t think she had to. She knew she was appreciated. People smiled at her and thanked her for the extra that she did. That extra enabled them to arrive late and leave early. She couldn’t understand why she was never promoted and they were. She couldn’t understand why they made more money and she made less. But she kept her counsel. She didn’t want anyone to think that she wasn’t appreciative of the company and the job they let her do.

Gender aside, if she sounds like you and you want more than what she’s getting, you need to become more assertive. How can you do that and remain true to your character?

Most reticent people draw their energy from within. They want time to think and space for that reflection. Their preference for quiet becomes problematic only when they are asked to respond in the moment, without time to consider the issues and ponder their consequences.

Do they sound like you? If so, and you want to be able to slow down the people and process long enough to get your bearings, I have a few techniques for you. Tailor them to fit your style:

• State the obvious. You want time to think: “I’ll get back to you with that information no later than 2 o’clock this afternoon (or whatever time you need to get the job done).
• If the questioner is impatient and wants an immediate response, confirm that you heard the request. Then clarify your understanding of it before immediately responding to it.  Not only does it buy you time to think, it gets at the crux of the issue: “Tom, I understand that you need that information immediately. What else is going on that’s impacting the project? The more I know, the better I can help.”
• Go slow to go fast. Ask open ended questions: “Tell me more…”; “Help me understand…”. You’ll save time, effort, and good will by knowing at the beginning what is needed at the end.

Now, about public speaking. The higher you rise in an organization, the more often you’ll be called upon to make formal and informal presentations. You may never be great at it, but you can always get better:

• Know what you want to say and why it’s important to say it.
• Organize your speech into talking points.
• Speak from your core and not from your head.
• Vary your approach without changing your message.
• Practice in front of a full length mirror.
• Critique your performance. If you’re bored or confused, so is your intended audience. Get back to basics: Does your message stay on point? Are you getting your points across in a compelling manner? Are you challenging your audience to think differently than they otherwise might? Do you want them to take action? If so, have you told them what they need to do?
• When you give a speech in real time, focus on your audience instead of yourself. Speak to individuals whose body language signals that they are receptive to your message. For every person you connect with, you collect two dozen or so who are sitting nearby and believe that you’re speaking directly to them.

Once you’ve learned out to speak, your next development opportunity awaits: Your ability to listen.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

I’ve received some feedback: Many people don’t like “techniques”. They have an aversion to behaving in ways that are contrary to how they see themselves. They would rather remain true to their nature than to be seen as superficial, at best, and phony, at worst.

If that’s a concern of yours, and you’d rather not change yourself into a copy of someone else, let’s work with your strengths and ways to leverage them:

Most introverts don’t just listen; they have the natural capacity to listen deeply. They don’t take some information in, they take it all in. They stir it around, shove it here and poke it there. They don’t let go of the content or the intent until they have made sense of it. They connect it to information that arrived earlier and what they’ll take in later. They make sense of what they hear, and when invited, can present the abridged version of it, to those requesting their insights.

Introverts have the ability to contribute in significant ways to the process and progress of meetings. They take the varied comments that others make, assimilate, then aggregate them into a coherent whole. When they speak, they summarize what’s been said, without hyperbole. They connect the dots without having to control the dots.

Introverts, when working one on one, excel at providing feedback regarding the information their talking partner has just provided. They react in ways that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues than might otherwise be expected.

Anyone who chooses can maximize the introverts’ listening strength by 1. Invitation 2. Realization. 3. Presentation.

Invitation: Ask questions and give introverts sufficient time to respond. Introverts prefer to think before speaking, which necessitates pausing before they begin. If extroverts (who are more apt to speak before thinking) jump into the pause, the introvert will hold back. They’ll return to assimilating, editing, and silently testing the receptivity of the listener. So if you invite their thoughts, mean it, and listen to what they have to say.

Realization: Most introverts aren’t willing to compete for airtime against the more verbally aggressive and loquacious extroverts. They wait for an invitation to speak, an invitation they’re not apt to get. Why don’t they? Because they’re the quietest people in the room. How are others to know of their deep listening skills, their wit and wisdom? The likelihood of being asked an opinion, when not making an effort to offer one, is slim to none.

Presentation: Introverts don’t have much experience making presentations. When they must, they second-guess the phrasing, tonality, even banality of their expression. They seldom speak outside a select audience (close family, close friends), so they can be distracted by the sounds their voices make in a suddenly silent room. It isn’t surprising that as self critical as they are, they prefer to say less, not more. That’s everyone’s loss. It’s not that introverts are more or less intelligent, they just think longer and harder about what they hear and what they want to say.

Introverts: Bottom line, it’s going to take more energy than what you are currently expending to get your strengths out where the world (or your boss) can see them. You have more to offer than others realize. Provide them the visible and audible substance they need to determine that you not only have potential but also have the courage to act on it.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Warning to  Workaholics on Vacation

No beach is warm enough, no pool deep enough, no book long enough to keep you from the next call, the next report, the next conquest.

No companion is fun enough, no escapade strange enough, no catacomb deep enough, to keep you from the next deal and the next plane that gets you to where the heat is hot enough, the mountain high enough, the trial tribulation enough, to make it worth the time that it takes to get there.

Warning to Vacationers at Work

No challenge is great enough, no boss loud enough, no report timely enough, to look up, look out, and get it done, for any reason greater than your colleagues are depending on it.

No boss is strong enough, no rhyme reason enough, no siren shrill enough to polish it off, finish it up, and put it away, for any reason greater than your customers are waiting for it.

Warning to Teams without Players

No goal is clear enough, no value grand enough, no cause worthy enough to get together, pull together, and get it done together, for any reason greater than that’s the way this game is played.

No reason is valid enough, no need compelling enough, no cause desiring enough, to get it done, outside the isolation and comfort of your mind,  for any reason greater than they need you to be there.

Warning to Players without Teams

No group is large enough, no talk complete enough, no break long enough to get you back to work, getting it done, for any reason greater than you’re bothering folks.

No quiet is safe enough, no space sane enough, no reflection revered enough, to keep you from using your cascade of words, just because they are there to be spoken.

Warning to Visionaries without Plans

No scape is grand enough, no leap long enough, no star far enough to keep you from unleashing your insight on those least capable of hitching it all to a wagon, and driving to get it all there.

No path is clear enough, no strategy sharp enough, no objection judicious enough to keep you from derailing the good that you started with your dreams.

Warning to Doers without Vision

There is no time good enough, no turn safe enough, no prediction right enough to leave behind your need to be absolutely sure before the journey is begun.

There is no path straight enough, no rule right enough, no detail plain enough to abandon your need to know from getting in your way.

Warning to Leaders without  Followers

There is no command strong enough, no control tight enough, no rigor right enough to satisfy your need to be all, have all, regardless that no one follows your lead.

There is no language tough enough, no mandate sure enough, no distance far enough from the people you drive to the place they don’t want to go.

Warning to Followers without Leaders

There is no map clear enough, no need great enough,  no strength strong enough,  to bridge the distance from where you are to where you need to go.

Warning to Leaders without Passion

There is no analysis sound enough, no logic clear enough, no goal defined enough, to merit the movement of people who care, by those who aren’t able to express why they should.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Screaming toddlers are banging on pots, demanding attention while their harried mothers and frazzled fathers yell in their phones and hunch over their desks, desperate to complete what looks like their job. Distraction controls. Chaos reigns. Nothing of value gets done. The banging gets louder and no one can listen because no one can hear.

This manager is done. “I am so over it, I just don’t care.”

She’s so tired of the back biting, gossip spreading, over the top and under the table squabbling of her employees that she’s ready to throw in the towel. She’s not leaving her job. She’s leaving her employees.

“All they do is complain about each other. I’ve told them again and again, “”I don’t want to hear about it. You fight it out between yourselves. Don’t come to me with this stuff anymore. I’ve had it with all of you!”

She says they keep yammering, like they don’t hear what she’s telling them.

She’s right, they don’t. And probably for reasons that are different than she might think.

They don’t hear her because they don’t believe she’s listening to what they’re telling her. They’re asking questions and not getting answers. They need more and are getting less. The more noise they make, the more anxious they become about something they need and aren’t getting.

Typically, employees want to know the basics: what does the boss expect, when does she expect it, and what should it look like when it’s done?

Once the basics are satisfied, the questions answered, other issues and needs can emerge:

I’m working as hard as I can, and I don’t feel that I’m getting the  recognition I deserve. When no one tells me how I’m doing, I get unsure of myself. What if my work isn’t what they expect? What if I’m not as good as I’m supposed to be? what if I lose my job?

When change is in charge, employees feel pulled from every direction. Each message they get sounds more pressing than whatever preceded it. If employees feel that the company’s compass is spinning out of control, they get real concerned and say so.

Ignoring complainers and complaints won’t result in making them go away. People and problems become increasingly complex and testy the longer they are neglected. What can start as concern and uncertainty can escalate to all out conflict.

Conflict. What can you do about it?  Avoid it?  Accommodate it? Personalize it?  Get combative, aggressive, and nasty about it?

Face it. Lower the volume, yours and theirs. Listen to reasons for concern before solving problems you don’t fully understand. Identify the impact of concerns and consequences of the impact. Separate the problem from the person speaking or the people being spoken about. Focus on the problem.

Ask open ended questions and exercise patience. It takes time and effort to listen when responses sound emotional, blaming, antagonistic. Allow the speaker full opportunity to vent. Confirm your understanding of what is being said by rephrasing. Proceed when your take is confirmed as accurate. Tone down the conflict by identifying common interests. Stay away from fixed positions (what you and I need) and focus on concerns (why you and I need it). If you can satisfy a concern you can usually satisfy a position.

Most conflicts are borne out of needs that people share and fear will be lost: recognition, affirmation, security, control, a need to belong and be well.

If your employees are spending more time making more noise than they are creating and producing, there’s a reason.  Find out why, what they need, and how you can work out a solution, together.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Companies have more turnover than they’d like and are working hard to slow down outbound traffic. Many are discovering the potential of Mentor Programs and want to know how to get started. If you’re one of them and would like some basic information, read on.

Mentor Programs serve the needs of three primary constituencies: companies, colleagues and customers.

The company benefits from employees improving their individual and team performance, knowledge sharing, leadership potential, employee satisfaction, and continuity in vision and direction.

Colleagues benefit by working with individuals who are more committed to competing against the competition than each other and more savvy to the company culture through better access to positive role models.

The customer benefits when working with employees who can better serve their needs.

Mentoring requires time, trust and top leadership’s long term commitment to make it work.

We believe in building up and not tearing down. We are outcome driven. We want to succeed for ourselves, for each other,  for the company and the customer we serve.

If you are interested in developing a successful and sustaining mentoring program at your organization, you’ll need the following:

• Strong and committed buy in from the highest levels of the organization.
• A leadership team that enthusiastically communicates its commitment  to every level of the organization because anything less isn’t good enough.
• Clear guidelines that outline and describe what it takes to be a capable, credible mentor.

What does it take?

Honesty and trustworthiness. Honest mentors provide constructive, useful,  timely, and appropriate feedback. Trustworthy mentors seek to do no harm.

The patience to listen fully. Mentors allow the process to unfold, ask the right questions, and let the mentee find the solution.

The ability to create interdependent relationships that promise only what can reasonably be delivered when two intelligent people work for a common purpose.

The character strength to keep shared information confidential; to provide additional resources when there are no clear answers, and to refer to others who are subject matter experts.

A mentor is non judgmental and principled; insightful about people and  analytic about tasks.

Mentors see their role as an honor and responsibility that accompanies their positions of authority and seniority.

Mentors are as successful as their mentees perceive them to be.

Therefore, It’s essential that both players know their roles, goals, and how the game is played. Some mentees come to the table knowing their strengths, skills sets, and developmental needs. They know what they want, why they want it and what they’re willing to do to get it.  Some don’t have a clue.

Bottom line: What they get from the collaboration will be in direct proportion to what they put into it.

Successful mentees ask the right questions and expect candid, constructive feedback in return. They’re open to different perspectives and act responsibly on what they hear. They separate facts from feelings, and act on the former while owning the latter.

Mentoring programs face many challenges. Once begun, there’s no “go to” person who keeps them on track or heading in the right direction. There are no quantifiable ways to measure outcomes, no end points that are fixed in time. How do you measure success? One person at a time.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Let’s face it. You don’t have to speak up if you don’t want to. You don’t have to ask for what you believe is rightfully yours. Just be prepared for the consequences when you don’t:

She told me that she worked harder than anyone in her department. She came early and stayed late. She did her job in addition to what others didn’t want to do or never got around to doing. She never asked for anything in return. She didn’t think she had to. She knew she was appreciated. People smiled at her and thanked her for the extra that she did. That extra enabled them to arrive late and leave early. She couldn’t understand why she was never promoted and they were. She couldn’t understand why they made more money and she made less. But she kept her counsel. She didn’t want anyone to think that she wasn’t appreciative of the company and the job they let her do.

Gender aside, if she sounds like you and you want more than what she’s getting, you need to become more assertive. How can you do that and remain true to your character?

Most reticent people draw their energy from within. They want time to think and space for that reflection. Their preference for quiet becomes problematic only when they are asked to respond in the moment, without time to consider the issues and ponder their consequences.

Do they sound like you? If so, and you want to be able to slow down the people and process long enough to get your bearings, I have a few techniques for you. Tailor them to fit your style:

• State the obvious. You want time to think: “I’ll get back to you with that information no later than 2 o’clock this afternoon (or whatever time you need to get the job done).
• If the questioner is impatient and wants an immediate response, confirm that you heard the request. Then clarify your understanding of it before immediately responding to it.  Not only does it buy you time to think, it gets at the crux of the issue: “Tom, I understand that you need that information immediately. What else is going on that’s impacting the project? The more I know, the better I can help.”
• Go slow to go fast. Ask open ended questions: “Tell me more…”; “Help me understand…”. You’ll save time, effort, and good will by knowing at the beginning what is needed at the end.

Now, about public speaking. The higher you rise in an organization, the more often you’ll be called upon to make formal and informal presentations. You may never be great at it, but you can always get better:

• Know what you want to say and why it’s important to say it.
• Organize your speech into talking points.
• Speak from your core and not from your head.
• Vary your approach without changing your message.
• Practice in front of a full length mirror.

• Critique your performance. If you’re bored or confused, so is your intended audience. Get back to basics: Does your message stay on point? Are you getting your points across in a compelling manner? Are you challenging your audience to think differently than they otherwise might? Do you want them to take action? If so, have you told them what they need to do?
• When you give a speech in real time, focus on your audience instead of yourself. Speak to individuals whose body language signals that they are receptive to your message. For every person you connect with, you collect two dozen or so who are sitting nearby and believe that you’re speaking directly to them.

Once you’ve learned out to speak, your next development opportunity awaits: Your ability to listen.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

You’ve unwrapped your gifts, returned from an airport where you probably spent more time than at your intended destination and are ready to begin the New Year. You’re filled with a resolve to… to do what? Why? And how differently will you do it?

If you’ve had a little breathing space during the holidays you may have given serious thought to how you’d like to be in the coming year. Perhaps you’ve made a list of resolutions, vowing to make substantive changes in the ways you relate to others, in the career directions you’ll take, and how you’ll want to feel about yourself as you make those changes.

If you’re like most people, the best of intentions, toward self and others, seem to last a few weeks and are then replaced by the creep of day to day events that work their way into the crevices of determination and focus.  Old habits are back and it’s business as usual.

Many of us don’t want to promise to do anything differently. We’ve disappointed others and ourselves too often to willingly take that route again.

Others would rather not think about doing anything differently since that would suggest what we were doing and where we were heading was in some way flawed. We want to move ahead, accepting our mistakes and celebrating our luck the same way we always have.

And then there are those of us who just can’t think of anything that we want to do differently. It’s not that we’re refusing the notion or avoiding the consequence, it’s just that things are rocking along pretty well. Why think, why promise, and why tinker?

If you live somewhere between the  “if I ain’t broke why fix me” folks and those who are constantly reinventing themselves, here are a few resolutions you might want to consider:

If I’m too passive and miss out on opportunities that could be mine, I’m going to get out there and make them happen.

If I don’t know how to become more sure of myself and confident in my actions, I’ll learn from people who do it best. I’ll practice by making mistakes and learning from them. I’ll admit when I’m wrong and take credit when I’m right.

I’ll forgive people more quickly and ask that they do the same for me. If they won’t, I’ll work hard to change the outcome I created. If I can’t, I’ll learn from it and move beyond it.

When I need to learn more than I know, I’ll take the initiative and get the knowledge I want without waiting for others to teach me.

I’ll learn to respect myself and others. I’ll become more aware that what happens around me affects more than just me. I’ll ask people I trust to tell me how can I help, and what can I do, to become a more effective player, regardless of the game.

Sometimes it’s easier to resolve what you won’t do instead of what you will. For example:

I won’t have to get fired to learn what I value about my job.

I won’t quit when I’m frustrated.

I won’t use anger to keep fear away.

I won’t break something to avoid fixing it.

I won’t argue so that I can be heard.

I won’t shout others down when I don’t want to listen to what they say.

I won’t let illness teach me to value each day.

I won’t be less than I can be, so others can be more.

I won’t measure my worth at the expense of others.

You can become who you want to be, without having to deny others encouragement, support, and respect. You can choose to live a full, productive life that embraces all that is good in yourself and others.

It’s not how you word it; it’s how you work it.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com

Sometimes you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and another rock. You don’t have room to breathe or move. You desperately need air and space and don’t have the energy to push the rocks apart to get it.

If you’re one of those people stuck in a merger that just can’t  seem to resolve itself, that may be how you’re feeling. If you’re in a job that is a bad match and you have no concept of what would be better, that’s the feeling. If your company just went belly up and nobody told you until you read it in the paper, that’s the feeling.

There are many business writers who address the problem, the emotion, and the strategy for moving the rock out of the way. Spencer Johnson’s book, Who Moved My Cheese?, has been a run away business bestseller. His book, 94 pages of big print and bigger pictures, illustrates , in disarmingly simple terms, the complex notion of  what happens when what we are accustomed to getting is suddenly taken away.

William Bridges, an executive development consultant and lecturer has written several books on the subject of personal and professional transition (among them, Managing Transitions, Surviving Corporate Transition, Creating You and Co.). He addresses change issues from the perspective of those who don’t see them coming, as well as those who do. Like Johnson, his approach his straightforward and understandable, although his syntax is a bit more complex.  The print is smaller and any artistic renderings come from your own imagination. He’s a good read if you want to do something while you’re stuck and want to understand why you are.

Harvard Business School Professor of Leadership, John Kotter, is the author of another business bestseller, Leading Change. His approach is a “how to” for leading successfully during times of  turbulence and change.

Stan Gryskiewicz, author of Positive Turbulence and a senior fellow at the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro, “offers a process for turning change into a productive force that, properly managed can lead to innovation and ongoing renewal.”

The most prolific author on the subject of change and perspective shift  was probably Dr. Seuss, (Horton Hears a Who; If I Ran the Circus, On Beyond Zebra, Oh, The Places You’ll Go) who wrote 44 best selling books for children and their parents.

We are, at once, fascinated by change. We love it when we’re creating it and fear it when we’re not. It’s the best of our dreams and the worst of our nightmares.

If you’re stuck now, and feeling immobilized, what must you do to get free?

1. Figure out what’s stuck: you or the rock.
2. Realize that you can’t control what is happening to you but you can control your reaction to it.
3. Become proactive in your thinking instead of reactive in your behaviors.
4. Open yourself to new ways of thinking.
5. Become solution seeking instead problem stopping.

In order to push beyond where you currently are, you’ll have to care enough to expend the effort. What’s your plan? Where are you going and what’s the role you’re going to play when you get there?

The rock can’t move. You can.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Are you into lists? How about Ten Gonna Getchas for Managers:

You’re always the boss. You’re an “in charge kind of person.”  Everyone comes to you with work site problems because you can fix anything. You wear your tool belt at work, home, and in public gatherings. No matter who has the problem, you have the answer.

What can go wrong? Your colleagues pass their work off to you and then get offended when you do it.

You’re everyone’s shrink. You’re the warmest, most comforting listener in the business. Your eyes mist over as you hear about your employees’ worries, frustrations, hopes and desires. You really, really, really want to be there for them.

What can go wrong? You can’t get a lick of work done for all that listening. If the situation isn’t an emergency, and it seldom is, defer the conversation to a more suitable time and place. And don’t be surprised or disappointed when that needy employee finds someone else to talk to.

You just can’t say, “No!” You have an endless capacity to help others. You also have an endless need to be approved of by others. Instead of saying “no”, you answer with the emotional equivalent of “pile it on, I’m not dead yet.”

What can go wrong? You can get buried in all the projects that others are happily deferring to you. You’re still at work long after they’ve gone home. Bottom line: You resent the very thing you have given them permission to do.

You don’t ask questions. You figure that if you act smart, and don’t ask questions, no one will know what you don’t know. And you don’t know a lot.

What can go wrong? Everything. You become so concerned that someone will ask you a question that you begin to withdraw and then isolate yourself from others. That’s a sure fired way to get more attention than you want or need.

You can’t be bothered. You are busy. You are doing seriously important things. You cannot be bothered with other people’s problems.

What can go wrong? Their problems are going to be your problems. Blindside is written all over this one. If you don’t know what the problems are, you won’t know what to do, delegate or defer.

“I’m smarter than you are”. Yes. You are the smartest person walking around. Ask you anything and you know the answer. And if you don’t, you’ll make something up.

What can go wrong? No one is listening.

“Do it for me, please.” You like to play it safe. You learned a long time ago that acting helpless and deferring to others gets them to make the decisions you don’t want to make. No accountability, no blame.

What can go wrong? It’s getting harder to duck responsibility. Once you’re found out, you’re probably going to be out… of a job.

“That’s not my job.” This is my job. That’s your job. Don’t touch my job with your job ‘cause you’ll make a mess of my job.  I get paid to do my job. I don’t get paid to do your job. What is your job? Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.

What can go wrong? What part of TEAM don’t you understand?

You’re all style and no substance. Yep, that’s all you. You’ve got the clothes, the moves, the gift of gab. You can talk with anybody about anything as long as it has a punchline, isn’t too deep and you don’t have to do anything about it.

What can go wrong? Schmoozing and snoozing went out with 3 piece suits, 3 martini lunches and  40 hour workweeks. You’re all style? Go be a model.

You’re all substance and no style. You work hard and keep your head down. You’re directed, dedicated, and determined. You have no time for small talk, meetings, questions, or discussion and easily dismiss those who do.

What can go wrong? Your employees expect more from you than you’re willing to give. They need your insight and involvement in their professional development. Without that, they’ll leave the company for a manager whose style acknowledges their strengths as well as their deficiencies and provides opportunities to improve both.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.