Jet Blue Column Generates Responses

The Jet Blue flight attendant event was the basis for my August 15, 2010 column in the Greenboro News & Record.  I receive a few emails about my suggestion that there were other things to try before emulating the actions of the frustrated Jet Blue flight attendant.

An except from my column:

Understanding the other person’s perspective and knowing their story enables you to frame the exchange and navigate the intersection differently than you otherwise might. That’s not to say that you can yield to every argument or make peace with folks who just aren’t interested. What you can do is lower the intensity.

And some reader comments:

 

 

Readers Respond to “No Excuses” Article

My August 8, 2010 career column in the Greensboro News & Record, entitled, “Excuses Get You Nowhere,” generated a few responses that I wanted to share with blog readers.  First, a few summary bullet points of the column if you don’t have time to click through to the News & Record:

• Excuses, no matter how valid, justified or prevalent, are your own worst enemy in finding a job.
• Take your excuses and find a way to respond to them.  The article gives a few ideas of how to do that.
• Take the time to know what you have to offer, come up with a positive and succinct way to present yourself to employers and then maintain a great attitude while doing it.

From a reader responding to the, “I can’t get a job because I am too old” excuse:

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to send this to me. I found it so interesting and really wanted to keep it because the time is coming soon that I will be out hitting the pavement looking for a job. I know I will voice these same excuses when I don’t get the job I want.

I just recently graduated Practical Nursing and am taking my boards soon and might even go back to school to finish a degree in Office Systems Technology, haven’t decided yet.

I am going to print this out to remind me that although I am fifty-seven years old, I am still the person for the job..

From a reader responding to the “I can’t get hired because I don’t have any experience” excuse:

I was given your article in the 8/8/2010 News and Record to read.  It is entitled “Excuses get you nowhere.”  I have a question regarding your recommendation of how to respond when applying for jobs, when one does not have job experience.  It seems as though many job listings state that experience is required.  Are you implying that one should apply and then address the issue of lack of experience?  If so, this could also be interpreted as the applicant not having the ability to follow directions.  Thanks in advance for your clarification of this point.

And my thoughts…

 

Thanks for writing and thanks in advance for being open to pursuing job opportunities in ways other than responding to on line postings… (the hardest way to get a job).

Consider this: the numbers of graduate and undergraduate contacts you’ve made through your academic progression.

The numbers of professors, instructors, and practitioners with whom you have worked and studied all these years.

Each of them likely know someone or several  who are in the field you are training to enter… who can not only refer you, but can be a reference for you… for a conversation, if not an interview.

This is the best way for you to find an opportunity that will provide you that essential ‘experience’.

No matter the business, industry, or area of specialization, people hire people. Relationships count.

Use them, in the best sense possible.

I appreciate all the emails and blog comments from readers — keep them coming!

 

 

Questions from Readers

Q:   I’ve been unemployed for the past 18 months and have worked dozens of part time jobs during that time. If I list each job separately, I’ll look like a major job hopper. What do you suggest I do?

A:  State the obvious: that you’ve worked temporary positions since (give the date) that enable you to serve a wide range of client organizations in a variety of ways that add value.

Q:   I’ve been fired, laid off, canned, whatever you call it. Bottom line, I don’t have a job and don’t know how to explain what happened to the last one. I was told that the company had decided to go in a different direction. What does that mean and how can I translate that to a prospective employer?

A:  Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. When asked why you left your last job, respond with a firm, “they decided to go in a different direction and I respect their decision.” No translation necessary.

Q:  I’m going to graduate college this spring and I don’t have any idea what I want to do with my expensive degree. My parents are understandably concerned but their constant pressure for me to “commit” to something scares me away from making a decision that could turn out to be the wrong one. What do you suggest I do?

A:  Clarify what’s important to you in a work setting and what you value in the people with whom you work. Figure out what you enjoy, what you’d like to do more, and get better at doing. Ask your professors, extended family and friends for contacts they know who share your interests and values. Follow up, follow through and take a leap of faith that whatever you choose first will be a learning opportunity that you can apply to whatever you decide to choose next.

Q:  I’m in my mid forties with nearly grown children and I’m just now completing a college degree I began years ago. The clock is ticking and I don’t have time to lose, so how can I improve my marketability while I’m still in school?

A:  Network. If you were an active stay at home parent raising those now nearly grown children you’ve met plenty of contacts along the way, in the neighborhood, carpooling, going to doctor’s and dentist’s offices, school, PTA, and community events. Make a list, make calls and set up meetings to get re-acquainted. Describe what you’re training to do professionally and that you would appreciate any suggestions they’d have for internships and referrals. In most cases you’ll get a positive response and willingness to refer you as someone they know as a dependable, hard working, team player.

Q:  I graduated from college with a BA in General Studies and the only job offers I’m getting are for administrative assistant positions. I’m disappointed. I deserve something better, not because I’m so special, but because I have a college degree. Should I take the job, keep looking, or get over myself?

A:  I vote for all three: Take the job, keep looking, and get over yourself. Take the job to put structure in your life and help you determine what you do well, and what you don’t. Ask for expanded responsibilities and continue to develop your competencies. Ask managers how you can capitalize on your strengths and add value to the company. Apply for advancement opportunities within the company and if need be, outside. Go easy on yourself. Finding a career is a process that requires time, self-awareness, self-development, constructive feedback, openness to learning, courage, and determination to succeed.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

One More Tough Question Answered

What’s a tough interview question? One you don’t know how to answer.

I don’t want to be asked why there are so many gaps in my resume.

I don’t want to be asked why I went to a top school, got great grades, and then spent the next three years in dead-end jobs.

I don’t want to be asked about my ‘five year plan’ because I don’t have a one year plan.

I don’t want to be asked ‘tell me about yourself’ cause there’s nothing much to tell.

To answer the questions that concern you most, get real about your obstacles and remove them. Here’s one way to do it:  Write. Write the question that worries you, then write your response and keep writing. Write for five minutes without pausing to think, check, correct, or wonder what someone would think if they read your rambling response. Just keep writing. And there, right there at the end of your five minute marathon is the obstacle and the answer to the question. Take action on it and you’ll have the response you were seeking.

Here’s an example:

“Why are there so many gaps in my resume?”

If you knew what I’ve been going through you wouldn’t ask such a question. Do you think it’s fun to go from job to job, either getting fired or quitting because the people you’re working with are too stupid to recognize your intelligence or you scare the pants off yourself because you’re in a stupid job and you don’t know how to do it? Do you realize how frustrating it is to have this big deal, cost a fortune, four year degree and you’re working at something an idiot could do and you’re the idiot who can’t do it? I’ve got these gaps because I never sat down to figure out what I needed to do. I just believed that as smart as I am everyone would immediately get it and hire me into this great job and when that didn’t happen I lost all my confidence and now I’m back to square one, three years later, after my family thinks I’m a loser because I think I am, despite the fact I won’t admit that to anyone. So how do I get out from under of this load of you know what? I have to sit down with someone smarter than me who gets me and who is wiling to help me work my way out of it. That’s the biggest takeaway I’ve had from this insulting, ridiculous situation: that I’m not as smart as I thought, that other people can help me and I need to ask for that help because I’m finally ready to listen.

I’m there. I know what I have to do. I have my answer.

“There are gaps in my resume because until recently I had not taken the time I needed to figure out the direction I want to take my career. I’m doing that now and here’s what I’ve learned about myself and why I’m interviewing for this job…”

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Tough Questions Have Answers

Interview questions that are difficult typically ask about “why and how” not “what and when.”  They focus on demanding workplace issues, events, personalities, and the actions you’ve taken or didn’t take regarding them. When you do a good job responding to these questions you show self awareness and an ability to organize and articulate your thoughts in ways that are logical and understandable. You describe cause and effect and connect facts that may appear unrelated yet are, in fact, relevant to the challenge before you.

Here are three “tough” questions you’re likely to encounter and sample responses that make the case. I suggest that you ask yourself these questions and prepare responses that will make the case for you.

Have you ever fired anyone? Why and how?

I have and it can be done fairly and respectfully. As a manager I’m committed to providing on-going, consistent, timely, honest, constructive feedback to the people I manage and I ask them to do the same with me. That way we’re all aware of what each of us needs to be successful; we address issues as they occur; and we identify root cause so we don’t repeat our mistakes.

Sometimes we place the right employees in the wrong jobs. We all share responsibility for getting that figured out before damage is done to the individual, the team, or the business. It’s my job to for create and maintain a work environment that enables that level of trust and openness.

When employees get themselves in trouble for consistently failing to meet clearly stated expectations I work with them on a development plan designed to address their specific performance issues. If their work product or behavior continues to be unacceptable, they know it and so do I. The only outcome that’s fair to everyone is that I ask the individual to leave the company.

Describe the worst boss you ever had.

The worst boss I ever had displayed the qualities I least admire. That doesn’t make him a bad boss, just the wrong one for me. He was highly critical, and tore people down instead of building them up. He was very intelligent but kept his employees in the dark regarding his vision and values. Although he was well educated, he didn’t provide training or development to his employees. He was fiercely independent and trusted no one, but insisted that others trust him and remain totally dependent upon him.

What’s the biggest career mistake you’ve ever made and what did you learn from it?

Early in my career I paid more attention to what others wanted for me than what I wanted for myself. I spent several years pursuing approval and although I attained the goals others wanted for me, what I achieved held no meaning for me. I’ve learned to follow my own path. I’ve learned to draw out the best from others rather than impose my version of what’s best, upon them. As a result, I’m happier and feel more successful.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Questions from Readers for All Ages

Q: My anxiety is through the roof. Yesterday I talked back to my boss, something I never do. I apologized and he said we’re OK but I’m not so sure. He seems to be avoiding me and now I’m more concerned than ever. Should I start looking for another job?

A: Exhale. If looking for another job helps you feel more in control, sure, do it. In the time it takes you to find something new, your current issues might be resolved, your anxiety in check, and your current boss pleased with you and your work.

Q: My daughter wants to quit school (she’s a freshman in a local college) and marry her boyfriend, also a youngster, who lives a thousand miles away. Her mother and I want her to complete her degree and then follow her heart’s desire. She’s said that she’s afraid her boyfriend won’t wait for her. What do you recommend?

A: Objective perspective and a reality check. Are you paying for your daughter’s education here, and will you pay for it there? If so, check with colleges in the area and find out if and when she can get accepted. If that’s not the plan, she’ll need a job. Check with the Employment Security Commission. If money will be an issue, contact Consumer Credit Counseling and analyze what she’ll need to earn to pay her expenses. If your daughter and her boyfriend are willing to take this on, have these conversations, listen, learn, and live with the economic and emotional consequences, and are fully committed to each other, find a way to make it work.

Q: I’ve just returned from my fifth visit with one company. How many interviews should it take to land one job?

A: It can take several if you’re interviewing for one of the company’s top positions. More than that and I’d be concerned about current leadership’s ability to make decisions and circumstances they may not have described. If you’re called back again, ask some tough questions of your own. This decision is a two-way proposition.

Q: My husband and I want our high school son to get an after school job. He’s running with a crowd that scares us and we think he’d be better off in a supervised environment. He’s not interested but he’ll do what we ask. What jobs do you recommend that he pursue?

A: You’re concerned that your son is easily influenced, unlikely to consider the negative consequences of his choices, and needs a structured environment to stay out of harm’s way. It also sounds like your son could benefit from learning a structured approach to problem solving and decision making so he can become aware of his options and have the confidence to make the right ones. Get him help. Encourage him to talk with you about the day-to-day choices and challenges he’s facing and how he’s currently dealing with them. He may be savvier than you give him credit and you may be more open and forgiving than he might have dared hope. And about that after-school job… involve him in deciding what it might be. He’ll soon be making those decisions for himself. There’s no time like the present for him to practice accountability in action.

Q: I’ve been made an offer with a company I don’t want to join. I’m afraid to turn it down and afraid that if I take it I’ll be miserable. What should I do?

A: I’m curious: why interview for a company where you don’t want to work? Pretend that you never did. Turn it down. You deserve better.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Bottom Line: You Didn’t Have a Bad Reference, It’s the Interview

Q:  I recently lost my job and have not been able to find another. I left my last job on not good terms with my former employer and I think they’re giving me a bad reference. I’ve had a couple of interviews with different companies and was told each time that I’d be getting a second interview. When I wouldn’t hear back I’d call and they’d tell me the position had been filled. Is there any way to prove my former employer is giving me a bad reference? How can I work around this? It’s been over a month and I need to get a job.

A:  Prospective employers screen applicants during the first interview and make their hiring decision after second and sometimes third interviews. If they’re going to check references, that’s when they’ll do it. Many past employers are hesitant to give work references on employees, good or bad, and limit the information they provide to only include dates of employment and job title or position.

Some prospective employers check credit reports and court records for evidence of behaviors that could negatively impact job performance. It takes time, money, and personnel to conduct these checks; three commodities that are in great demand and short supply. Therefore, only those candidates most likely to be hired are investigated. Bottom line, it’s not the reference that does you in, it’s the interview.

Most job loss applicants become apprehensive as they approach the interview, particularly when the economy is down and unemployment is on the rise. They worry most about what they can’t control; the questions they’ll be asked and those they ask themselves: “Was it the economy or was it me?” “Why was I laid off and others spared?” Worry undermines your sense of worth and narrows your perspective. Try as you might to camouflage your feelings, they show. What can you do?

Control what you can and let the rest of it go. Example: You’re worried about a reference that may or may not exist. Let it go, and if you can’t, do something about it. Call the individual who may have provided it. Indicate the (positive) lessons you’ve learned from your experience working for him, and what you’ll do differently going forward. It won’t change the past but it gives closure to it. Then, move on to what’s important; getting a job.

If you’re concerned that you’re coming across as depressed, angry, or anxious, you probably are. Your presentation may be muted; your affect, flat. If you typically feel centered and emotionally healthy, and believe your moods are tied to your employment concerns, make an appointment with a career professional who’s trained to answer your job related questions.

If you’re worried about your credit references, check them out. If you’re considered a credit risk and you’re seeking positions where that appearance can derail your job chances, get the financial assistance you need.

If those who know you and care about you have asked that you seek help from mental health professionals, do them or yourself a favor, make an appointment, today. There’s help out there for you and it’s up to you to get it.

You are not being held accountable for the American economy; you are not responsible for your company’s layoffs. Prospective employers aren’t looking to fix blame or find problems where they don’t exist. They have a job that needs doing and want to know if you can do it for them. Let them know you can by focusing the interview on your ability to be proactive and productive in ways that are measurable and quantifiable.

If you were fired and are asked “why?” be direct, honest, and succinct. Rather than blame yourself, your boss, or the company, briefly describe the situation, what you learned from it, and what you‘ll do differently going forward. Then turn the conversation to ways you can contribute to the company’s goals and objectives.

Every company that is hiring wants individuals who can work on their team, save them time and money, and contribute to their bottom line. That should be your focus, on the interview, and every day you’re on the job.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

 Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Job Search After a Felony

Q: “I’ve recently been released from prison and want to get back into my profession. I’ve been trying to re hone my skills but given my felony record am I just spinning my wheels? What do I say when I’m asked about the lapse in my employment?

A. You’re not spinning your wheels, you will find employment, and you will have some real challenges ahead. Let’s start with the first hurdles to overcome, and go from there:

Responsible employers will not want to put you, their employees, or the public the company serves, into situations that create the perception, real or imagined, of danger. Therefore, sit down with your parole officer and counselor before you interview. Identify work environments and interpersonal situations to avoid and those that are appropriate to approach. Candidly discuss the reasonable, practical, and emotional concerns that prospective employers and their employees might have, given your recent history. Prepare yourself to respond to those fears in ways that not only demonstrate self-awareness, but also describe the conscious changes you’ve made in your behavior and your ability to respond to others.

Address the lapses in your employment history in a truthful and straightforward way. You mentioned “rehoning your skills.” Describe how you’ve continued your education during and following the time you were imprisoned; and the preparations you have made for the career direction you are taking. Describe your past accomplishments and your ability to contribute to the future success of the company you’d like to join.

Your challenge, and it’s a big one, is getting the interviewer to focus on what you’re saying and not on where you’ve been and what got you there.

To accomplish that, address what concerns them most. Ask prospective employers to ask you any and all work related questions or concerns they have relative to your history in or out of prison. Ask them to describe the challenges they believe you will confront at their place of business. Then answer those concerns in an honest and forthright manner.

Q: I’m concerned about the application form. How can I answer the question about felonies so that my job application won’t get tossed as soon as my response is read?

A: Answer that question and every question truthfully. Will your application be tossed? It’s likely that it will. What can you do about it?

There’s more to all of us than can be demonstrated on an application or resume. Talk to the people who know you best, stood by you, and are willing to take a chance on you. Those individuals, directly or indirectly, may know people who hire people.

You’re asking for a chance to tell an employer your story: your work history, why you were arrested, what you’ve learned as a result, and your efforts to now make good on the rest of your life.

Q: How can I regain my self-respect? My confidence is gone. I’m afraid to get out there and tell my story. What can I do to move forward?

A: I’ve never been in your shoes. I cannot begin to know what you feel. But others have been there. Ask your parole officer and your counselor for help in finding individuals who have been able to make a successful transition and who would be willing to talk with you and counsel you through a very tough time.

I do know this. A comeback takes time, patience and incremental steps. It takes the capacity to accept responsibility and accountability for the choices that you’ve made in the past and will make in the future. It requires asking forgiveness from those you have, by intention or omission, caused physical pain or emotional suffering. It takes reaching out to those who are strong when you’re weak and tender when you’re hurt. It takes all that, and enough people who are willing to say, “I’ll give you another chance.”

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

My Boss and I Absolutely Do Not Get Along!

A reader asks this question:

“I have an ordeal I’m dealing with and need your advice. I’ve been at my current position for one year and greatly enjoy the people I work with except for my boss. We don’t click at all. It seems like I can never do one thing to please her. I’m in my 20′s and she’s twice my age. I have an undergraduate degree and she has an advanced degree. I watch the way she interacts with the other people in the office who have higher degrees and she gets along with everyone of them BUT me. If she calls me and I’m not at my desk or I’m on the phone she assumes that I’m not here. Its like that constantly. She belittles me in front of others and sends me rude emails. I need to know how to handle her and this situation. I’ve tried talking to her in the past but she blows up and says she doesn’t want to hear about it. Can you help?”

~ M. P. in Anywhere City, USA

A: You sound like you want to make this work despite describing a boss who sounds like a cross between the Wicked Witch of the West and Cinderella’s stepmother. She doesn’t appreciate or value your work and likes everyone in the office, but you. I’m not sure where your motivation to succeed is coming from, but I’m glad you’ve got it. Now, let’s get to work.

You’ve noticed that your boss gets along with everyone but you, so I’m assuming you work in a fairly small office. I mention that because your boss has chosen to communicate with you via telephone or email. She even rejected your suggestion to meet and clear the air. So, why is she throwing darts from long distance?

What you know: She doesn’t like your job performance.

What you don’t know: Why she doesn’t like it.

You have a hunch that your problems are connected to what sets you two apart: age and education. You could be onto something. If your boss believes you’re not performing your job as a mature, responsible, educated adult should (as mature, responsible, and almost as educated as she sees herself) then she’d be aggravated with you. That doesn’t mean that she’s right in her perceptions but she has the right to have them.

You mentioned that she assumes you’re not working when you’re away from your desk or on the phone. She could reasonably conclude that you’re using office time to do things other than what she has assigned. (It’s that perception thing again.)

How can you change her perceptions? Change your behaviors. Provide your boss a daily status report on your assignments. If you’re ahead of schedule (which may be why you’re on the phone or away from your desk), let her know and ask how you can be of additional assistance to her and the department.

You’ve observed that your boss gets along better with office mates who have advanced degrees. Her attitude may have more to do with different work styles than differences in intellect. In short, she gets along better with people who see the world as she does, and you may see the world differently. Here’s a hypothetical example: let’s say your boss plays by the rules, is a stickler for details and deadlines, and gets anxious if you don’t share her concerns. She might call you a sloppy, slacking, screw-up (you mentioned her belittling comments and rude emails).

On the other hand, you may be a creative person who loves variety and flexibility, and believe that doing things with flair and style are more satisfying than getting them done on time. You’re not into details, you’re into possibilities! That’s a conflict waiting to happen.

You mention there are several co-workers that get along with you and your boss. They’re in a position to see what you miss. Ask them to respond candidly to three questions:

I want to be more effective in my job and get along better with my boss. What should I stop doing, start doing, and continue to do?

Now take your positive energy and get to work!

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Some Questions Answered

Here are two “role-play” responses to questions you’re asking…

Q: “In one of your recent columns you said that we shouldn’t initiate networking calls to prospective employers on company time. When are we supposed to make them? After we get fired? We should be able to make calls on the clock as long as we don’t make a big deal about it. Please comment.”

A: Rather than battle the pros and cons of the subject, I’ll focus on the nub of the question:  When are the best times to make networking calls? When you and the person you want to reach are both at work but off the clock.

Your target audience is working hard, balancing competing demands, trying to get as much done as daylight hours will allow. Like you, many have gotten into a habit of extending those hours, going to the office early, staying late, and working through lunch to keep within sight of what’s most pressing. That’s why you can reach them between seven and eight in the morning, during the noon hour, and between six and seven in the evening.

Keep your objective in mind. The people you’re calling have potential as prospective employers or networking leads. Your goal is to create sufficient interest so that they’ll agree to meet with you.

They answer their own phones because they’re there and their telephone screeners aren’t. Acknowledge that you are an interruption. If you’re lucky, you’ll have 20 seconds to turn your interruption into an opportunity.

“Mr. Jones, this is Sam Seeker. I’m calling at the suggestion of our mutual friend, Bill Smith of the XYZ Company. Bill said you’re a great problem solver, relationship manager, and a wise counselor. Would you be willing to meet with me, briefly, to brainstorm about my job search and critique some possibilities I’m currently considering? I’ll be very respectful of your time. (Pause for response. If positive, continue.) Great, when are you available?”

Next question…

Q: “I’m sick and tired of my employers always asking me to work all hours of the day (and night) to get their work done. I obviously need another job and a boss who won’t take advantage of my dedication and work ethic. What job should I be looking for?”

A: Rewind. This sounds more like a communication problem than a job problem, and a classic example of the proverbial chicken or the egg question. What comes first, the employer who asks too much of an employee or an employee who takes on more than she can handle? There are unspoken expectations, misplaced intentions, and mixed results, on both sides.

Your boss gives you the impression that she’s insensitive to or unaware of your need for work/life balance, limits or boundaries. In turn, you may be giving her the impression that implies your willingness to do “whatever it takes”. You end up feeling used and unappreciated. Nothing will change until each of you communicate your meaning to the other and recognize the impact of what’s left unsaid.  Since you posed this question and not your boss, I suggest that you begin the dialogue. It might go something like this…

“Helen, I enjoy my job, and hope I’ve been successful in demonstrating my dedication and work ethic by the quantity of work I complete and the accuracy of the work that I produce. (Pause for a reaction. If her response surprises you, clarify its meaning before resuming the conversation).

I’ve come to realize that I’ve not done a good job of communicating my need to establish a balance between what I’m asked to do and what I am capable of managing, in the time frame you’ve allowed. I’d like to have that conversation with you, at your earliest convenience.”

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

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