A:You’re not spinning your wheels, you will find employment, and you will have some real challenges ahead. Let’s start with the first hurdles to overcome, and go from there:

Responsible employers will not want to put you, their employees, or the public the company serves, into situations that create the perception, real or imagined, of danger. Therefore, sit down with your parole officer and counselor before you interview. Identify work environments and interpersonal situations to avoid and those that are appropriate to approach. Candidly discuss the reasonable, practical, and emotional concerns that prospective employers and their employees might have, given your recent history. Prepare yourself to respond to those fears in ways that not only demonstrate self-awareness, but also describe the conscious changes you’ve made in your behavior and your ability to respond to others.

Address the lapses in your employment history in a truthful and straightforward way. You mentioned “re-honing your skills”. Describe how you’ve continued your education during and following the time you were imprisoned; and the preparations you have made for the career direction you are taking.  Describe your past accomplishments and your ability to contribute to the future success of the company you’d like to join.

Your challenge, and it’s a big one, is getting the interviewer to focus on what you’re saying and not on where you’ve been and what got you there.

To accomplish that, address what concerns them most. Ask prospective employers to ask you any and all work related questions or concerns they have relative to your history in or out of prison. Ask them to describe the challenges they believe you will confront at their place of business. Then answer those concerns in an honest and forthright manner.

Q: I’m concerned about the application form. How can I answer the question about felonies so that my job application won’t get tossed as soon as my response is read?

A: Answer that question and every question truthfully. Will your application be tossed? It’s likely that it will. What can you do about it?

There’s more to all of us than can be demonstrated on an application or resume. Talk to the people who know you best, stood by you, and are willing to take a chance on you. Those individuals, directly or indirectly, may know people who hire people.

You’re asking for a chance to tell an employer your story: your work history, why you were arrested, what you’ve learned as a result, and your efforts to now make good on the rest of your life.

Q: How can I regain my self-respect? My confidence is gone. I’m afraid to get out there and tell my story. What can I do to move forward?

A: I’ve never been in your shoes. I cannot begin to know what you feel. But others have been there. Ask your parole officer and your counselor for help in finding individuals who have been able to make a successful transition and who would be willing to talk with you and counsel you through a very tough time.

I do know this. A comeback takes time, patience and incremental steps. It takes the capacity to accept responsibility and accountability for the choices that you’ve made in the past and will make in the future. It requires asking forgiveness from those you have, by intention or omission, caused physical pain or emotional suffering. It takes reaching out to those who are strong when you’re weak and tender when you’re hurt. It takes all that, and enough people who are willing to say, “I’ll give you another chance.”

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts conducted seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

What are the best questions to ask on an interview?

The ones that net the information you need to make a good decision. They’re the probing, open-ended questions that ask how, what, where, when, and why? They find what you ought to know and not always what you want to hear. They’re tough to ask and challenging to answer:

“Describe the employees who have been your most successful; and those who didn’t make it.” “Tell me about the boss’s management style and the people who respond best to it.” “How do you measure success in this company and who does the measuring?”  “Who’s going to tell me how I’m doing and how and when will I find out?”

What are three ruts to avoid while on an interview?

Being too eager, being too aloof, and being too sloppy. Over eager applicants talk too much, try too hard, and keep the spotlight on themselves instead of the positions they seek. They seldom ask questions and turn every question they’re asked into a soapbox for their candidacy.

Under eager applicants call themselves “laid back”. They say too little, slump too much, and generally project an “I could care less” attitude into the proceedings. There are too many “I could care more” candidates out there to take any time on this one.

Too sloppy applicants arrive late, act clueless, and look like yesterday’s lunch. They sit in the wrong chair, call the boss, “pal”, and answer their cell phones in mid interview.

What can you do about age discrimination if you’re in a job market that’s tossing people out who are half your age?

You can’t control an economy that’s firing more people than its hiring; or control an aging process that giveth more wrinkles than it taketh away. You can control how you respond to what’s happening, and like it or not, you’re measured by your reactions to the things you cannot change.  Pay attention to what employers want. They look for employees who are positive and optimistic.

They want problem solvers, not problem makers. They need people who can do more with less, who can streamline, expedite, deal with change and change at will. They need people who know that team players do more than just show up and that respect for diversity is more than a slogan. Being part of this work force is more than looking the part; you have to play the part, every day.

And that’s true if you fifteen or fifty-five.

What are some basics for good salary negotiation?

Knowing the lowest salary you can accept before you set foot in your first interview. That keeps you from taking a job that pays less than you can afford. “But they want me!” won’t pay the rent . “They promised me a big increase in 90 days” won’t put food on the table.

Once you land an interview, defer talk of pay and benefits until you’ve had ample opportunity to understand the challenges the company and your prospective department faces. Match your strengths to their needs, providing appropriate anecdotal examples that describe how you will add value to their business.

What should I emphasize when preparing my resume?

Brevity. Clarity. Truth. A resume is a fact filled summary of your work experience. It’s an outline of duties and responsibilities with an emphasis on significant accomplishments in terms that are quantifiable and measurable.

Organize your resume in reverse chronological order, reaching back 15 years. List those jobs that you held earlier (prior to 1986) without elaborating upon them. Select 24 lb. paper that’s white, off white, or gray; 12 pt. type, in easy to read font. The person screening your resume dedicates about 30 seconds to its review, so edit, then edit some more.

Go heavy on the action verbs (accomplished; established; leveraged) and easy on the adjectives (loyal, trustworthy, hardworking). Keep the emphasis on what you did and how you did it. A resume isn’t an advertisement or a marketing piece; it’s an objective presentation of your work history.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts conducted seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Q: I enjoy my work but have no tolerance for petty people and this place is filled with them. They constantly complain about each other. What makes it worse is that the department head seems to buy into whatever is being said so now she’s part of the problem. I try to stay out of it but it’s inescapable. I know I need to find a job somewhere else but why should I give up what I enjoy because of their stupid behavior? Should I try to handle the situation or just give up? 
- D.E.

A: Before you give up on your current situation let’s look at what might be fixable right where you are. In order to do that, examine the challenge and separate the issues. 
You’re working with a bunch of squabblers who are creating more negativity than you can reasonably tolerate.

You try to stay out of it.

Your boss has become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

You don’t know whether to stay and ignore it or find work somewhere else. 

Squabblers: Most employees who spend more time arguing with each other than getting the job done want the person in charge to take charge. Everyone’s a bit different. Some people need more structure; others less. Some want to know exactly what the boss expects; others want room to maneuver. Some need attention; others want to be left alone. The chaos occurs in the absence of clear leadership: everyone talks about what they want and no one listens and acts on what they’re saying.

You said that your boss “buys into whatever is being said and now she’s part of the problem”. When a boss takes sides, she’s not leading, she’s following. If she doesn’t clarify organizational and departmental goals, roles, and expectations, her employees operate in a vacuum. In that void, they’ll take their frustrations out on each other, with one or several vying for control.

Some people prefer to find fault and place blame when things are going badly. Others want to stay out of the fray, hoping that avoiding it will somehow make it tolerable. Hopefully, more of your colleagues prefer solutions to problems and would like to get back to work.

If you’re one of the latter and are willing to make an honest effort at leading change, there’s a significant role you can play: Listen to the complainers. I realize their gripes sound petty to you but they’re important to the people making them. Listen for themes in the information you hear. Pay attention to what you see. Call a group meeting. Describe your observations, without judgement. Ask for confirmation where you’re on target and clarification when you’re not. Help the group separate the issues that individuals have with each other from the larger issues the group may have with the boss or the company. Ask for a few volunteers (too many can be overwhelming and nonproductive) to present the group’s concerns to the boss.

Then make an appointment with her. Describe the purpose of the meeting, and ask if she’d like to see a written summary of the ideas the group would like to explore with her. Be sure to include suggestions for solutions the group agrees would benefit everyone: the individuals, the department, and the company. Indicate the group’s desire to work with her and each other in making things right for everyone.

Change takes effort, time, and patience. Everyone, including you, who are involved in the process needs to feel convinced that changing behaviors will result in better outcomes.

Should you leave or should you stay? For the near term, if you have the energy and grit, give the group and their solutions a chance to work. If you’ve given it your best shot and nothing changes, it’s time to look for an environment that better matches who you are and what you need.

Good luck. And let us know how it turns out.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A: I asked several local retailers their take on the subject and received a variety of responses from them. Here’s a sampling:

“It’s important that the store establish clear return policies, that all sales associates are aware of those policies and that all customers are treated equally. Management has to have back bone and not roll over when dealing with particularly difficult customers.”

Another storeowner suggests that you “find out what the customer really wants, which can be different from what they first tell you. There’s usually room to negotiate. When there’s not, you have to assess your risk. If what you’ll lose is greater than what you’ll gain, fold.”

A reaction that got my attention was the store manager who said, “if I’ve done all that is reasonable and acceptable and the customer begins to threaten me, I call over a sales associate to witnesses and document the encounter. I ask the customer to review the report and sign it as a fair and accurate representation of what has been said, which I then turn over to our company attorney. When the customer sees that strong-arm tactics don’t intimidate me, he or she usually backs off. We have a loyal following of customers who do repeat business with us, so what I’m describing is a highly unusual occurrence. But when it does happen, we’re ready.”

Here are a few responses that take us in a totally different direction:

“If sales and service associates and their managers were to handle the situation better at the outset it wouldn’t escalate to the point that the store owner would have to enter the fray.”

And this from a sales person: “We follow the rules that we’ve been given and don’t give in to customers whose requests are totally out of line. What typically happens is that the customer gets angry and wants to talk to the manager. The manager comes over and gives in. That makes us look bad in the eyes of the customer. No wonder they pitch a fit; they know some higher up is going to give in to them.”

The majority indicated that there has to be give and take on the part of both the retailer and the customer so that each can feel whole, or at least not harmed, as a result of a difficult exchange.

As anyone who works with the public knows, there are a wide variety of customers to serve.  Most are pleasant, honest people who treat others with respect and want the same in return. Some are not so pleasant or honest, and that’s how it goes. If retail sales and service is the job you’ve signed on to do, it’s up to you to figure out how to deal appropriately with all your customers, not just the ones you like.

In all likelihood, you’ll receive training on the basics of the product you sell. If you need more help, ask for it. It’s less likely you’ll be taught the rules of good customer and quality service. Your boss will probably assume you have the good manners and good sense to relate to all customers in ways that are responsible and appropriate.

You’re paid to determine your customer’s needs, to match your product to that need, and to follow through with service that encourages the customer to buy again and often, and to bring friends with money.

Your effectiveness and success is based upon more than product and pricing knowledge. It’s determined by your ability to connect emotionally and intelligently with the customer. To do it all, takes attention and desire. In other words, you’ve got to care. If you don’t, the consuming public would rather you do something else with your professional life.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A: This reader describes several concerns at once: How can you fit in when your style is different from the people you work with? How can you be effective when you don’t feel accepted? Why aren’t people more accepting of others? And finally, does surviving several layoffs in the same company impact how you are perceived and received by others?

Fitting in when you don’t: Employers and job applicants should pay as much attention to matching the workplace culture as they do in matching skill sets to job requirements. Each should evaluate the opportunities, challenges, and likelihood of successful transition. Too often hurdles aren’t acknowledged, much less addressed, leaving old team members and new employees to struggle with conflicting workstyle preferences. (Tip: Read Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman).

Not only is it difficult to feel effective when you don’t feel accepted, it’s frustrating and energy wasting when you have to spend more time getting along with others than in getting your job done. Unless you focus on blending your style with theirs you may in for a rough ride. (Tip: The boss doesn’t fire you, your colleagues do).

Accepting others and being accepted is requisite for good working relationships. For some, it happens almost immediately. For others it takes a longer time. How long is too long? It depends on who has to struggle with it.

What gets in the way? If how you look, talk, interact or relate with the boss or co-workers consistently deviates from the prevailing norm, you’re likely to get cut out of the herd. It doesn’t matter if that’s right or wrong, “behaving differently” costs. If you dress up in a dress down environment, or vice versa, you’ll stir up talk by barely trying. One-up a co-worker in front of the boss, and you’re bound to get a nasty reaction. Come in late when everyone comes in early, and you’ll be marginal in more ways than one.

Figure out the new culture by observing it. If you’re not sure what it is, or want to confirm your understanding of it, ask employees who seem connected, not those who look as outside the loop as you feel.

Speaking of other employees, do they have a responsibility in accepting new employees to the team? You bet they do.

High performing teams realize that the key to their professional success turns on everyone having the opportunity to achieve the group’s goals. To buy in you have to know what they are, why they exist, and the part you play in getting there. Trade-offs occur when one person is willing to help another. Trust evolves as individuals have consistently positive experiences with each other. You can’t ask new players to prove themselves as valuable contributors if you’re not willing to show them how your game is played.

On a final note:  surviving several downsizings can leave victors feeling victimized. They try to protect themselves from further damage by withdrawing from their colleagues. Help break the cycle. Reach out to each other and create community in the workplace. It sure beats whatever is in second place.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A. Unless you’ve experienced both sides of the interviewer’s table, it’s hard to know what job applicants or hiring managers face when conducting a job search.

Companies can be flooded by responses to advertised positions. Many applicants produce work histories that have no obvious connection to the position posted. That doesn’t mean that people applying couldn’t do the job, but that their resumes don’t make their case for them. So, they are eliminated, often without a company representative writing or calling to say that they will not be considered. Like it or not, that is customary and acceptable.

This reader has gotten through the resume-screening portion of the search. He has landed interviews and has not received status reports from his interviewers. He should have. When a company representative invites an applicant to become a bonafide candidate there is an unwritten but professional expectation that each party will keep the other informed as to the level of interest one has in the other. That’s how it ought to be, but what do you do if the company hasn’t bought, ought?

Candidates who are interested in the job are proactive in advancing their candidacy.

What can they do to get the information they need?

Here are a few strategies that take the offensive without being offensive:

“Mr. Jones, this is Sam Ram. I interviewed with you on June 11th for the position of Senior Accountant. I am very interested in that position and would like an opportunity to speak to you at greater length. I am available Tuesday or Wednesday mornings of next week, at either 7:30 or 8:30 a.m. Which would be the better time for you?”

You stated your interest in the position and your availability for a second interview. There are no guarantees that Mr. Jones will agree to see you but you will get one of a variety of responses: 
“Sam, I’m glad you called. Right after you left our office the boss’s son stopped by and we offered him the job. You know how it goes. Sorry, Sam.”
“Sam, we put that job on hold. Didn’t anyone call you? Our sales aren’t what we hoped for and we’ve frozen all openings for the next quarter.”
“Sam, glad you called. Next Wednesday morning at 7:30 a.m. works for me. See you then.

What if Mr. Jones won’t take or return your calls? You’ve tried all times of the day and night and after several weeks and more than a dozen attempts later you decide to try something different. You send a self addressed stamped postcard with three requests for action: 
Sam, call us to set your next interview.
Sam, we’d like to hire you. Call us to talk specifics.
Sam, you’re a good man but we’re no longer interested in your candidacy.

Ask Mr. Jones or his representative to check the appropriate statement and return the card to you.

Manners, time crunch, and professionalism aside, most employers don’t follow up on interviews for two reasons: 1) they don’t have good news and 2) the recipient isn’t apt to like bad news. If hiring authorities are willing to take applicants’ time and energy to interview, they have an obligation to return the favor with the truth when they know it, straight up and without hesitation.

Candidates: if several weeks pass without response to your interview or follow-up calls, assume that the opportunity no longer exists. Their silence says more about how they do business than you ever wanted to know. Let it go and find something better.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

“With all this talk about layoffs, I’m so worried I can’t concentrate on my job. What can I do?”

The last thing you want to do is worry yourself out of a job. Change your unrealized fear from something you can’t control to something you can. Put together an employment emergency kit. Fill it with a financial plan, an updated resume, lists of contacts, and a personal inventory of strengths and work accomplishments. Then get back to work. That’s what your employer is paying you to do.

“What’s the difference between a merger and an acquisition? Am I safe in one and in jeopardy with the other?”

In business parlance a merger implies the coming together of equals. An acquisition suggests that the stronger (by whatever definition) has taken over the weaker. The true meaning and the outcome intended are in the minds of the players who cut the deal. Employees who are affected seldom know what that is. When are you safe? When you proactively direct and advance your own career.

“We’ve been laid off. None of us saw it coming and a bunch of us are angry and upset. If we interview now we’re going to blow it. We’ve got to find work, what can we do?”

Take advantage of your shared frustration and release your emotions with each other. The more you get out of your system, with safe people in safe places, the less apt you are to blow up where it’s not and when it isn’t. After you’ve finished venting (that can take a while) contact job seeker support groups in the area, where you can reframe your frustration into positive job search strategies.

“What three things do I need to know before I interview?”

There are more than three, but if I had to choose, they’d be:

Know what you do best and examples of when you’ve done it.

Know what you don’t do well, so that you won’t do it again.

Know what you’re looking for in a job (besides the money).

“What’s the difference between a strength and a skill? Which is more important?”

A strength is innate, a given, you have it without trying. You enhance your strengths by recognizing them (they’re not always as obvious as you might think) and expanding upon them. A skill is acquired. You learn it by study and repeated application. Strengths are immediately transferable, no waiting. Skills transfer, but may not be applicable. You need a combination of both. Proven success combines skills, strengths, and experience.

“How can you network if you don’t get out and meet anyone? I tend to be on the shy side and have never been a joiner. Help!”

You may not be a natural at networking, but you can learn the skills necessary for organizing one: Get together with like minded individuals (they like what you like and they’d go where you’d go, if you went anywhere). You’ve indicated that you don’t like to get out much. If you did, where would your interests take you? For example: If you were a reader, you would hang out in book stores, libraries, museums, and galleries. You would attend book reviews; book signings and book sales. You’d meet the people who attend, talk about mutual interests, and learn what they do, professionally. By describing your current job search you’d ask for suggestions of people you should meet and places you should go.

When you network with people who share your interests they send you looking in the right places.

“I’m over fifty! Who’s going to hire me?”

If you are emotionally and physically healthy, with a positive, energetic outlook, what’s not to like (or hire)? Companies are always in the market for stable, mature, nonjudgmental employees who know how to contribute to the workplace and come ready to work. What you may have given up in physical agility you’ve (hopefully) gained in wisdom and insight. As long as you don’t sign on as a contortionist in the circus, you’re a good bet as a new hire.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A: I asked several local retailers their take on the subject and received a variety of responses from them. Here’s a sampling:

“It’s important that the store establish clear return policies, that all sales associates are aware of those policies and that all customers are treated equally. Management has to have back bone and not roll over when dealing with particularly difficult customers.”

Another storeowner suggests that you “find out what the customer really wants, which can be different from what they first tell you. There’s usually room to negotiate. When there’s not, you have to assess your risk. If what you’ll lose is greater than what you’ll gain, fold.”

A reaction that got my attention was the store manager who said, “if I’ve done all that is reasonable and acceptable and the customer begins to threaten me, I call over a sales associate to witnesses and document the encounter. I ask the customer to review the report and sign it as a fair and accurate representation of what has been said, which I then turn over to our company attorney. When the customer sees that strong-arm tactics don’t intimidate me, he or she usually backs off. We have a loyal following of customers who do repeat business with us, so what I’m describing is a highly unusual occurrence. But when it does happen, we’re ready.”

Here are a few responses that take us in a totally different direction:

“If sales and service associates and their managers were to handle the situation better at the outset it wouldn’t escalate to the point that the store owner would have to enter the fray.”

And this from a sales person: “We follow the rules that we’ve been given and don’t give in to customers whose requests are totally out of line. What typically happens is that the customer gets angry and wants to talk to the manager. The manager comes over and gives in. That makes us look bad in the eyes of the customer. No wonder they pitch a fit; they know some higher up is going to give in to them.”

The majority indicated that there has to be give and take on the part of both the retailer and the customer so that each can feel whole, or at least not harmed, as a result of a difficult exchange.

As anyone who works with the public knows, there are a wide variety of customers to serve.  Most are pleasant, honest people who treat others with respect and want the same in return. Some are not so pleasant or honest, and that’s how it goes. If retail sales and service is the job you’ve signed on to do, it’s up to you to figure out how to deal appropriately with all your customers, not just the ones you like.

In all likelihood, you’ll receive training on the basics of the product you sell. If you need more help, ask for it. It’s less likely you’ll be taught the rules of good customer and quality service. Your boss will probably assume you have the good manners and good sense to relate to all customers in ways that are responsible and appropriate.

You’re paid to determine your customer’s needs, to match your product to that need, and to follow through with service that encourages the customer to buy again and often, and to bring friends with money.

Your effectiveness and success is based upon more than product and pricing knowledge. It’s determined by your ability to connect emotionally and intelligently with the customer. To do it all, takes attention and desire. In other words, you’ve got to care. If you don’t, the consuming public would rather you do something else with your professional life.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A: We could dig deep for the root cause of your test taking terrors or focus forward and come up with a better way for you to prepare and present. I’m all for going forward, so here’s the good news: you’re older now and wiser. You’ve had plenty of life and work experience. You’ve been in jams and gotten out of them. You’ve succeeded and failed and succeeded again. You know that when you’re at your best you focus on what’s do best and enjoy most. That’s what you should bring to the employer’s table.

Employers aren’t grading you based upon what they know. They’re evaluating your fitness for their position based upon what you tell them you know. They want a match between what they need and what you provide. They’ll ask you questions about what you do and how you think; questions that ask you to respond in ways that are candid, decisive, and descriptive for you, not them. There are no right or wrong answers. Answer them as you are, not as you wish you were or as others wish you to be.

Practice for real, not for pretend. Employers won’t ask you to interview in a mirror, while walking a dog, or driving a car, so don’t rehearse that way. Practice with people willing to ask you questions and give you honest feedback. They don’t have to be professional interviewers; they just need to ask open-ended questions that cause you to think before responding. Here are some examples: Tell me about yourself. Why are you interested in working for us? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Why do you think you’re qualified for this job? How does this job fit into your career goals?

After each role-play, ask for candid feedback: What am I doing well and what might I do differently? When did my answers make sense and when did I go off track? When did I seem most confident and when did I lose my stride? Why would you offer me the job and why wouldn’t you?

Then make the necessary changes and adjustments in your reactions and responses, and do it again. Practice with a new partner, ask for feedback, adjust, and do it again. You’ll know when you’re ready for prime time.

Q: “I’m a real good talker. I’m not getting any job offers and my wife says it’s because I talk more than I listen. I hate to admit it but she’s probably right. Here’s my problem: I know what I’m talking about which is why I need to talk about it. If I don’t, how can I convince the interviewer I’m right for the job?”

A: Interviewers want to know what you think after they’ve had an opportunity to tell you what they want you to know. If you don’t listen to them and you don’t integrate their message into your response, they’ll think you can’t or you won’t. Manage your exuberance, exercise patience, pay attention to what they’re saying so when you do talk, they’ll listen.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

In response to her presentation, participants commented:

• Joyce’s understanding not only of the skills of finding a job, but the emotional factors of a job search made her presentation helpful and empowering.
• Several people left feeling less burdened by the job search than when they came in.
• Joyce was so helpful, enlightening, and clarifying.  She gave insight to my questions and concerns.