Travel and Job Seeking

What does job search and foreign travel have in common? Having recently returned from a business trip abroad, I’m not only brimming with fresh perspective and chock full of new learning, I see connections I’d earlier have missed.

The learning: Airline personnel, flight cancellations, impatient travelers. When the few are assigned the work of the many and there’s a critical intersection of the few, complicated by a critical interruption of the many, chaos reigns.  The ensuring struggle becomes emblematic of any business or organization in the throes of downsizing, limited supply, and crushing demand. The fragile system that supports a tentative network breaks down.

The lesson for job seekers:  Do your homework before you even think of

accepting a job offer, however attractive it appears to be. If the company you want to join has been laying off employees instead of hiring them, you’re walking into a structure that has been stressed and surviving personnel who have been stretched. Can they and their systems react quickly and appropriately to change that is predictable, yet not of their choosing? Are they planning for the long term or struggling to survive the world of “what’s happening now”?

The learning: It helps to speak the same language. When issues are simple and time ample, the gulf created by cultural and language difference is negotiated with relative ease (“How charming” we say. “How American” they reply, as we each smile, nod, and cautiously make our way around the other). However, when time is currency, and there’s too little of it to enjoy the impasse, minor gaffes create major blunders, cultural customs create corporate inefficiencies.

The lesson for job seekers: When interviewing, realize that what you say (or think you’ve said) isn’t necessarily what they hear (or thought they’ve heard). What are priorities for you, may not be priorities for them; what they value most may be what you value least. Clarify understanding, yours and theirs, while you both have time to adjust your thinking, alter your plans, negotiate your differences, and work for a common and desired outcome.

The learning: It’s important to be well rested. Travel can be tiring. International travel can be exhausting. You’ll change sleep cycles, social contacts, and meal times to meet the calendar and clock of the location and people with whom you interact.  Change your circadian rhythm and you affect your blood pressure, body temperature, sleep patterns, and ability to digest the food you’re not used to eating. No wonder you feel as though your brains and your batteries have been popped in backwards.

To look and behave as though you know what you’re doing, to have your words leave your mouth in the order in which you conceived them, you’ll have to pace yourself, and get the rest you need.

The lesson for job seekers: You don’t need to travel abroad to realize the benefits of good, sound, uninterrupted sleep. The better your rest, the more productive you’re likely to be. Each of us are different, some of us requiring more, some fewer hours of sleep to be at our best. Whatever you rest you need, be sure you get it and recognize that when stressed you might need more sleep than ordinarily would be enough.  (How do you know? If you’re easily distracted, forgetful, moody, clumsy, and nodding off instead of networking and knocking on doors, get some sleep).

Whether you’re traveling to the coast or to Costa Rica, eyeing a job in IT or in Italy, plan ahead. Think strategically and behave tactically. What’s your goal?  How will you measure your progress toward achieving it? What do you want, why do you want it, and how will accomplishing it align with your priorities, values, and longer- term objectives?

School is Starting

There’s something about the sights, smells, and start of fall and the school year that can get the kid in you revved up for what’s to come. You have to repress that urge to run out and buy a new lunch box, backpack and notebooks, because you’d look a little silly, given your age and station in life.

If you’re a job seeker, your search can feel more like the first day of school in a new town, where you don’t know the kids, the teachers, or how to find your homeroom. You’re lost in a maze of ambiguity, separated from your confidence and hidden from your self-esteem.

If you want to change your feelings and adjust your attitude, you’ll need to map the territory you’re searching. I have some suggestions for you but you’ll need the commitment to do your part and the courage to stay the course until you’ve accomplished your goal.

Plan before your push. You have to be able to describe your strengths and the contributions you can make to an organization, or to name the job you want and why you’re capable of excelling in it. If you don’t know what’s right for you because there are too many options or just too few, you can benefit from the help that professional career counselors can provide. You can find them in private practice and the public sector; working in libraries, community colleges, and universities. They want to assist you in aligning your strengths to the jobs that are out there that need to get done.

If you would rather figure it out on your own that’s doable, and why self-help career search books and related websites are in demand. Whatever route you find to the answers you need, take advantage of who and what’s available and start taking action. Just do yourself a favor. From time to time, ask someone who’s in a position to know, for some feedback on what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.

Network when you know. Too many job seekers start networking without knowing why they should, when they ought, who can help, and who gives a rip. Why network? To open doors to where hidden opportunities exist. When’s the best time? As soon as you know what you want, why you want it and how you can clearly, succinctly, and accurately describe the position that enables you to make the greatest contribution to an organization. If you’re not ready for prime time, you’re not ready to network.

Who should you call? Contact people you’d describe as  “connectors”. Don’t worry, you not apt to find them leading companies and they’re usually not the most important or powerful people in their communities. Connectors are accessible, outgoing, social, organizationally savvy individuals who know lots of people and enjoy connecting acknowledged and unrecognized talent, one to the other.  You can find them meeting and greeting people wherever there’s a formal or informal gathering of individuals who represent a cross section of interests, perspectives, and personalities.

And who gives a rip? People who have a sincere interest in other people, who enjoy maximizing the potential they find in others, who see benefit in helping those they perceive as deserving of their assistance.  Their assistance is considerable and valuable.

Bottom line, don’t waste your time, energy, or talent trying to network with self serving wannabees who may have contacts, but limited interest as well as perspective.  Nothing worthwhile will come from your efforts.

If you want to play the game, practice for it. That takes envisioning your goal, evaluating its long and short term value, assessing your strengths, developing your talent, creating your strategy, and organizing the support and resources you’ll need to sustain your drive to accomplish it.

Five Fresh Tips

By request, I’ve prepared some interviewing tips for you. If you like these, you’ll get five more next week.

1. Extraverts! Don’t talk too much! You’re so good with words you don’t

seem to know when to stop using them and you’re talking your way in and out of great opportunities.

Instead, stay on point and make your points calmly and succinctly. Don’t repeat yourself. And don’t interrupt.

Sell yourself on track record and potential, not on exaggerated statements and promises that sound over the top.

Limit your responses to a minute or less. If you keep going you’ll fry the patience and attention of the listener. Make your strongest points at the beginning of your response, not at the end.

Go for an airtime ratio of 60/40. The interviewer gets 60, you get 40. Use it judiciously; not all in one breath.

2. Introverts: Speak up more! A stellar resume won’t help if you consistently under-whelm your interviewers.

(“The applicant was great on paper but flat in person. She didn’t tell me enough about her ability, experience, and accomplishments to do herself justice. I had no choice but to pass on her application.”)

Get in the habit of saying more, not less, and elaborate, don’t edit your points. Brag a little. Brag a lot. As understated as you are, it won’t sound like hype.

You’re not prepared for the interview unless you’ve practiced your responses with people willing to distract (a particular challenge for introverts), critique, and coach you so you’re ready for the big game.

Practice your social meet and greet skills so you can carry your weight in the limited but necessary light talk that precedes the heavy lifting of the interview.

3. Don’t talk in circles. Say what you mean! Applicants lose time and ground when they answer questions with responses that go nowhere. Rather than jabber on in hopes of stringing together a series of sentences that make sense, own that you either need time to reflect on the answer, or that you don’t have an answer. If you’re confused by the question, and want clarification, say so. If you want to know why the interviewer asks the question so that you can respond to the intent, rather than the content, say so. Bottom line, come across as someone who doesn’t sidestep the truth, but tells it, straight up. Employers like it that way.

4. Ask more questions! Nothing kills an interview more quickly than the applicant who doesn’t ask questions, even if the interviewer “answered every one of them, before I could even ask!”

Give me a break. If the interviewer answered every one she was a mind-reading, non-stop talker, or your questions were no- brainers. Which isn’t saying much for either of you.

If you wait until the end of an interview to ask questions you’ve missed countless opportunities along the way to learn more and to maximize the information you’ll get.  Timing is everything. When the interviewer discusses job responsibilities that tap into your best stuff, ask questions that probe for elaboration and respond with examples of your accomplishments. If you’re interested in the vision of the company, because that’s where you can contribute, ask. If you want to know more about the challenges they face, because you’re a problem solver, ask. Ask questions that enable you to showcase your talent, and allow you to match your values, ethics, and preferred management style to what you discover, are theirs.

5. Listen! If you want to master the art of the interview, master the art of listening. A good listener can frame questions based on where the interviewer is going, not where he’s been. A good listener knows what’s safe to probe and what’s better left undisturbed. A good listener balances listening with responding, follows the flow, understands context, and asks the necessary questions that fill in the missing pieces. A good listener answers the why of a question, and not just the what. A good listener benefits both sides by asking open-ended questions that encourage dialogue, not monologue. Above all, good listeners model behaviors that indicate when dealing with ambiguity, they choose ready, aim, fire, instead of the reverse.

Job Insecurity

Feeling insecure at work? Want some fear insurance? Make a plan. Everyone needs a strategy that’s ready to launch when necessary so that there’s no need to be afraid.

“What if I’m laid off? Who will take care of me? Who will help me?”

We get downright childlike when the “I don’t want to think about it” actually happens. It’s the grown up version of “I want my mommy!”

It’s understandable that employers and employees are spooked. Click on the news and there’s a story about cutbacks. Some unsuspecting folks learned of their imminent demise when reading the morning paper.

If the best defense is a great offense here’s a sound strategy that incorporates three initiatives

1. Figure out what you do best.
2. Write a resume based on a positive track record.
3. Network

Of the three, most people find that networking is their greatest challenge. They think networking means glad handing strangers and asking for jobs. That’s not what it is.

Targeted networking is meeting with like-minded people you know personally, who do work that is similar to what you do or want to do, and brainstorming ways and places there are opportunities for you to do the same.

During the course of the conversation your contact will ask you to clarify your career goals and to describe the kind of assistance you’re seeking. (If you’re not sure, you’re not ready to network). State outright that you’re not asking for a job or for them to find you a job. Say that you value their opinion (you shouldn’t be talking to them if you don’t) and are looking for ideas and suggestions of people to talk to or companies to contact. Then pay attention, take notes, and probe for more information when you hear something you don’t understand. Take it to the next level by making the calls your networking contact recommends. Repeat the process.

At the close of each meeting, ask for a business card and suggest a follow up conversation. Send a thank you note that highlights the gist of the conversation. “I appreciated your advice regarding _________ and will act on that immediately.” The more contacts you develop the greater likelihood that you will find the right job. Next initiative: resumes.

A resume writer, program, or internet site is only as good as the information you enter. You’ll need names and dates of colleges and universities attended and degrees completed; start and end dates of places of employment; names, addresses, and telephone numbers of places you’ve worked; job titles and responsibilities for each position you’ve held; and three accomplishments for each of those positions. I figured I’d get your attention with that last one.

Accomplishments: that’s where the rubber meets the road.  What did you do that advanced the company’s market share, introduced new products, streamlined processes, improved distribution, saved time or money? Bullet point, validate, quantify.

Shun the resume that ‘s overwritten, overblown, or overwrought. It doesn’t matter if a resume service or computer program cranked it out; your name is at the top. You, not spell-check, are accountable for how it looks and what it says.  Edit. Then give to someone else to edit.  Then edit it again. Next initiative: what do you do best?

“Tell me about yourself” is a popular question that causes otherwise articulate people to babble. They don’t know what they’re supposed to say or where they ought to begin.  Rewind. The questioner is really asking, “What do you do best?”

What you do best is what you most enjoy doing and want to do more. It’s when you’re most effective, it’s knowing where you want to go next and what you want to achieve as a result of having gone there.

Practice weaving your comments into an answer that takes no more than a minute or two to complete. Your reaction to that probing question opens the door to a purposeful exchange between two intelligent and informed people.

Now that you have a strategy you can listen to the news, read the paper, and get back to work.

Cut to the Chase on Job Searching

Let’s cut to the chase:  The best way to find a job that’s a match or has potential for being one is to network. Seventy-five percent of available jobs are found in the ‘hidden market’. Spend seventy-five percent of your time looking for them there.

Does that mean employers don’t advertise their openings? They do when they must but most would rather hire people they know personally or prospects referred by people they know. Most employers would rather save time and money by networking for candidates rather than going through the laborious and expensive process of scanning resumes, fielding and returning calls, setting up phone screens and formal interviews. When they can identify someone through referral they can fast track the hiring process

Then why should you respond to newspaper and on-line job postings?

They represent about twenty-five percent of what’s available so they’re worth about twenty-five percent of your time and effort.

What is networking?

Networking is an exchange of information that takes place between job seekers and those who potentially know where the jobs are. Networking is a contact sport. You call people you know personally and have a shared interest, who know people with whom they have a shared interest, who would be open to talking to you about who they know who might know where there’s a job for someone who does what you do.

That’s right, you’re going in circles.

To intersect with opportunities that are right for you, multiply your circle of contacts and you’ll reach the greatest number of people in the shortest period of time.

Why would they talk to you?

Because they have something in common with you. People recommend people they know and they typically like people with whom they share an interest. That interest could be opera or fly fishing; comedy or carpentry; dancing, diving, biking and hiking. That commonality invites trust and trust opens the door to opportunity.

What should you say?

Tell the truth. Keep it simple; be straightforward. Say you’re looking for a job. Describe what you do (in 10 seconds or less) and why it matters (in 10 seconds or less). Because you have something in common with the people you’re talking to, they’re willing to help. So ask their advice and brainstorm with them about who you should talk to, to find a good match.

What should you do?

Be quiet so they can do ask you some questions and make some suggestions. Be interested in their opinion and keep the conversation going. If the timing’s right, ask for names of people you can contact who can get you closer to your goal.

How should you act?

Focused, upbeat, optimistic, forward looking and appreciative of the person’s time and interest. You’ll get referrals if you’re flexible and easy to get along with; if you can communicate what you want and demonstrate how you make a difference; if you’re self aware and comfortable with who you are. Model those behaviors when network, interview, when you do your job, and live your life, and you’ll get closer to where you want to go.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Questions from Readers

Q:   I’ve been unemployed for the past 18 months and have worked dozens of part time jobs during that time. If I list each job separately, I’ll look like a major job hopper. What do you suggest I do?

A:  State the obvious: that you’ve worked temporary positions since (give the date) that enable you to serve a wide range of client organizations in a variety of ways that add value.

Q:   I’ve been fired, laid off, canned, whatever you call it. Bottom line, I don’t have a job and don’t know how to explain what happened to the last one. I was told that the company had decided to go in a different direction. What does that mean and how can I translate that to a prospective employer?

A:  Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. When asked why you left your last job, respond with a firm, “they decided to go in a different direction and I respect their decision.” No translation necessary.

Q:  I’m going to graduate college this spring and I don’t have any idea what I want to do with my expensive degree. My parents are understandably concerned but their constant pressure for me to “commit” to something scares me away from making a decision that could turn out to be the wrong one. What do you suggest I do?

A:  Clarify what’s important to you in a work setting and what you value in the people with whom you work. Figure out what you enjoy, what you’d like to do more, and get better at doing. Ask your professors, extended family and friends for contacts they know who share your interests and values. Follow up, follow through and take a leap of faith that whatever you choose first will be a learning opportunity that you can apply to whatever you decide to choose next.

Q:  I’m in my mid forties with nearly grown children and I’m just now completing a college degree I began years ago. The clock is ticking and I don’t have time to lose, so how can I improve my marketability while I’m still in school?

A:  Network. If you were an active stay at home parent raising those now nearly grown children you’ve met plenty of contacts along the way, in the neighborhood, carpooling, going to doctor’s and dentist’s offices, school, PTA, and community events. Make a list, make calls and set up meetings to get re-acquainted. Describe what you’re training to do professionally and that you would appreciate any suggestions they’d have for internships and referrals. In most cases you’ll get a positive response and willingness to refer you as someone they know as a dependable, hard working, team player.

Q:  I graduated from college with a BA in General Studies and the only job offers I’m getting are for administrative assistant positions. I’m disappointed. I deserve something better, not because I’m so special, but because I have a college degree. Should I take the job, keep looking, or get over myself?

A:  I vote for all three: Take the job, keep looking, and get over yourself. Take the job to put structure in your life and help you determine what you do well, and what you don’t. Ask for expanded responsibilities and continue to develop your competencies. Ask managers how you can capitalize on your strengths and add value to the company. Apply for advancement opportunities within the company and if need be, outside. Go easy on yourself. Finding a career is a process that requires time, self-awareness, self-development, constructive feedback, openness to learning, courage, and determination to succeed.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Keeping Your Balance with Reorganization

Heads up, friends and neighbors. Companies are reorganizing and if you’re working for them you know what that means: the earth is going to move under your feet. If you want to keep your balance even as those around you might be losing theirs, think about what you want to do, what you say and who you to say it to.

Let’s begin with the “Don’ts”:

Don’t engage in a whisper campaign against management. In fact, don’t whisper about anything, even surprise parties. Don’t huddle in small groups, or large groups, or groups of any size.

Don’t hide. Don’t keep your head down. Don’t duck responsibility. Don’t shrug your shoulders. Don’t argue, defend, or attempt to explain why you’re arguing, defending, and explaining.

Don’t look for your boss. And if you locate him, or her, don’t make unreasonable requests (“You’ll protect me, right?”) or ask questions they can’t answer because 1. They don’t know and would rather not say, 2. They do know and have been told not to say, 3. They don’t know what they don’t know and that’s pretty embarrassing.

Don’t hang out with dooms-dayers, nay- sayers, boss bashing, hair tossing, eye rollers and co-workers prone to public meltdowns. They’ll drain the energy you need to stand upright and get your job done.

What should you do?

Push the negativity aside. There’s plenty you can do, and ought to do, every day to stabilize yourself and the people who work with you. Opt for solutions instead of problems. If you want to ask questions, ask what you can do to help in the transition. If you want to stay busy, focus on increasing the company’s revenues or improving its profitability. If you want to manage your emotions, control what you can and let the rest of it go.

The company is reorganizing. You should, too. Take inventory of your habits, behaviors, systems and processes and determine the ways you can save yourself and other’s time, energy, money, and aggravation. Instead of saturating yourself with blame for the situation you’re in, do something about it. If others are advancing because they appear to know more than you, do what they do; study, learn, and apply what you know in ways that can make an immediate difference for the organization. If they have the style and you have the substance and style appears to be winning, improve your style. Invite others to speak, to share their opinions, and add yours to theirs. Build bridges with ideas and connect ideas to actions that benefit the company.

If others appear to be advancing because they know the people you don’t know, do what they do. Put yourself out there. Introduce yourself to people you need to know and reintroduce yourself to people you need to know better. Go to meetings, get involved, get going on initiatives, and get back to the team with what’s happening. Get to know people who easily connect to people who have influence. Ask them what they need, and respond by telling them what you’ve done and can do and how you can be part of the solution.

If others are advancing because they have something to say; say something. Register opinions, offer perspectives, and advance ideas without having to be asked. Say what you mean like you mean it, without apology, hesitation, or fear of being second-guessed. Say it because it’s part of the answer, not part of the problem.

If others are advancing because they make decisions, be a decision maker. Get involved and involve others. Be informed and inform others. Re-affirm, re-think, re-invent, and re-organize yourself so that you add value to whatever comes next.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Check List of “Gotta-Do’s” Before Going to Interviews

Whether you’re looking for a job or just thinking about it, you have work to do before you head out to your first interview. Here’s a quick list of gotta-do’s before you get going:

Self-assessment:  This is your starting point. You need to clarify what you do well and enjoy doing before you start interviewing. Validate your perspective with those who know and can assess your performance. If they give you a thumbs-up, ask them to be your reference.

Resume:  Top and center your name, address, telephone number, and email address on each of no more than two pages. Use the same font (Times New Roman, Ariel, Tahoma are all good choices) and type size (12 pt) throughout. Next, state your objective (that’s the job you want) and follow with your formal education. Include the name and location of the college or university that confirmed your degree; the degree you earned; academic distinctions; and the year you graduated. Follow education with work experience. Begin with your current or most recent employment and in reverse chronological order list the name of the company/companies where you’ve worked, their locations, followed by your job titles or positions, number of years employed. Summarize in one or two sentences the responsibilities of the job. For each position you’ve held, include a minimum of three quantifiable accomplishments.

Telephone answering machine/service:  When you record your personal, professional sounding no frills greeting, first identify yourself, then ask for the caller’s name, message and phone number.

Email:  If you are concerned about security, create a separate email account for your job search. Shut down any websites or postings that could be interpreted as embarrassing, compromising, or potentially damaging to your reputation.  Proofread, spell and grammar check messages, resumes, and cover letters before sending them.

References:  Prospective employers will expect you to provide them names and contact information for at least three individuals to whom you have reported and who are willing to provide information on your previous employment.  It’s up to you to secure their permission. 

Research:  Employers expect you to do your homework. Check out their company websites; Google the company name for articles in mainstream media and trade journals. If you want to know what the consuming public thinks about how they conduct business, check with the Better Business Bureau.

Dress for success:  When you start looking for a job people start noticing how you look. Don’t wait for an interview to be at your best. Develop and maintain a healthy life style with proper hygiene, good nutrition, exercise, and a good night’s sleep. Be as mindful of your behavior as you are of your appearance.

Networking:  Spend the majority of your search time where you get the greatest return on your investment: network. Connect with people you know who know people you don’t know, so you can tap into the Hidden Job Market. Here’s the deal: employers with jobs to fill don’t want to be inundated with a torrent of applicants and applications. They’d rather use their discretion by focusing on candidates referred to them by individuals they know and trust. If you’re networking with the same people and you’re a good match, you’ll get the interview. The more you network, the better your odds of finding and landing a job.

Telephone screening calls:  Companies save time and money screening applicants by telephone. The conversation is likely to be brief, so you’ll have to know what you want and how you benefit companies where you work. You’ll need to listen well and ask questions that move the process forward. How you sound is as important as what you say, so be positive and energetic. 

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Summer Employment for Teenagers

Parents, from your calls and emails it sounds like finding summer employment for your teenagers is top of mind these days. Just be careful. If you get too involved, their search will become your search, and even worse, they could stop searching before they even get started.

“I provide our family gracious living; a fine home, cars, vacations, club memberships, you name it. I’ve been in a family business for a long while so I’m well connected. People would hire my teenager in a minute if I just asked. The good news is he doesn’t want my help; he wants to get a job on his own. The bad news is he’s not doing anything to get one. So I asked a buddy of mine to give my son a summer job. He said he would; all my kid had to do was pick up the phone and call him. I think problem solved. But my son didn’t call him. No matter how many times I told him to. Now I’m embarrassed my kid didn’t follow through. He still doesn’t have a job, and I don’t want to get anyone else involved in this mess. What can I do to solve his problem?”

As long as you provide “gracious living”, your teenager won’t be motivated to do anything about his problem. He doesn’t think he has one. Create one for him. Charge him for the food, shelter, clothing and transportation he enjoys. No pay, no play. And stick to the plan. If you waver a little or waver a lot, game’s over. You both lose.

“Our very independent teenage daughter wants to work this summer, and her father and I prefer she spend the time with us, bonding, traveling, and relaxing together. She’ll soon be off to college and a life of her own. We want to enjoy our little girl just a little longer. How can we say this to her and not come across as ‘smothering’? (Her choice of words, not ours.)”

Given that she’s independent, wants to earn her own way and create some personal space she’s differentiating herself from you and her dad. That’s part of the process typically described as ‘growing up’. You need to participate in that process as well and learn to let go. Respect your daughter’s preferences without guilt tripping or judging them, and trust that the values you’ve instilled within her will serve her well in the future.

“My son is interviewing for summer jobs and hasn’t had any luck. He’s clean-cut, polite, and very reserved. He’s not very competitive. He holds back and doesn’t sell himself. Have you any advice for him, or for us, in helping him overcome this hurdle?”

Bottom line, applicants of all ages have to assert themselves if they want to compete for available job opportunities. Teenagers, reserved and outgoing are more likely to enjoy work and add value when they’re well matched to environments that bring out the best in them. Outgoing teens who are energized by interaction enjoy working in social, relational settings found in retail, food service, and entertainment venues. Reserved teens who draw energy from within, prefer environments that support that preference; libraries, research centers, book stores, museums, art galleries; positions that rely more on individual contribution than team interaction.

If you want to help, ask how you can be a resource. Your teens might want a non- judgmental sounding board for their job seeking concerns or a way to role-play questions they’re apt to be asked. If you want to help, but don’t think you can (and neither do they), find them someone who can.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Advice for the Advice-Giver

If you’re a frequent reader, you know that I typically offer advice to job seekers, providing strategies for getting and keeping jobs. I often suggest they contact you, as possible references, networking contacts, and prospective employers, and in turn, ask that when you offer your wisdom and perspective you’re doing it to help them stay on the road and out of the ruts they inevitably encounter.

It occurred to me that you might want a little advice too; about how to handle these calls, particularly the ones you’d rather not get, and to remind you that their job search is not your burden. Getting a job is up to them, not up to you. With that in mind and if it helps, here are some tactics you might want to consider when asked to perform a service you’d rather not do.

If you get a call from an acquaintance, a friend, or relative of a friend, who asks you to serve as a reference, pause. And in that pause, ask a few questions.

“I appreciate your considering me as a reference. Let’s talk about the kind of job you’re looking for so I can determine if I’m the right person to help you.”

Listen to caller’s response. If it’s fuzzy, incomplete, or ill considered, suggest that he clarify his objective (or rationale) and get back to you. If he does, and can make a good case for the job he seeks, indicate that you will be his reference with this qualification: “I am pleased to speak on your behalf. I will describe to the prospective employer how I know you and the degree to which I am aware of your experience and expertise. Will that work for you?” Whether it does or doesn’t, you’ve demonstrated care and consideration.

If the caller is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose social skills are impeccable, and skill sets are not, and you believe that she is better suited to different line of work than that to which she is applying, say so. And suggest that she ask her other references for feedback regarding her current objective. If you’re outnumbered, let her know that the other references would do a better job for her than you would.

If the person calling is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose skill sets are impeccable and social skills aren’t, ask what he has done to improve in that regard. If he indicates a targeted effort with positive response, indicate that you will speak positively about his technical prowess and that you are pleased to hear that he is becoming more effective in his communication style. Suggest that he would do well to have additional references who can speak to that aspect of his performance.

Use the same degree of honestly and cordiality with those who would ask to network with you. If you are open to the possibility, ask how you might be a resource. If the person doesn’t know, you may be in for a long meeting in which you do all the work. Instead, ask her to get back to you with a plan. If she does, and is clear about the outcome she intends be sure you’re comfortable with it. If you’re not, you’ll unwittingly un-do the good will and time you have expended.

On behalf of job seekers who respectfully ask their references for permission, and their networking contacts for time and perspective; to those of you who so graciously assist them, thank you. Thank you for working with them, encouraging them, and telling them the truth.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

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