Successful Applicants Ask Good Questions

Successful job applicants know how to ask good questions. Good questions let interviewers know that you’re curious; you’ve done your homework; you’re listening to what they’re telling you; and you want to find as good a match as they do.

Good questions focus on the future and explore ways that applicants can contribute to the company’s goals and objectives. Good questions keep the discussion energized and positive. Bad questions sound critical, cynical, confrontational, and close-ended.

Good questions: What are the qualities of your most successful employees? What are some of their greatest accomplishments? What direction is the company heading? What would you like me to achieve in the first 30 days, 60 and 90 days on the job? What training would you like me to complete so I can get up to speed as quickly and effectively as possible? What do you consider important for me to know about this business culture?

Good questioners demonstrate their listening and processing skills by connecting, combining, and confirming key elements of the conversation with good builds. For example:

“Tell me more…” “Please expand your thinking about…” “What I understand you to say is…”

Good questions open the discussion, invite interviewers to educate, elaborate and inform, to be experts, to be good stewards of the company.

Good questions, asked badly, suggest that questioners already know the answer, want confirmation or recognition of their points of view, or are trying to control the conversation. Examples are: “Is (or isn’t) it true that…?” “Can you confirm that…?” “Would (or wouldn’t) you say that…?” Each of these leads suggests the obvious response is a “yes” or “no”. Close-ended questions can stop the conversation in its tracks or take it in a direction that neither the applicant nor the interviewer want to go.

Bad questions focus on “What’s in for me?” These questioners want to know about compensation, benefits, vacation, time off, and exceptions to the rules (“If I’m supposed to start work in the next six weeks that just won’t happen.  I have to go on vacation… I bought my tickets before I knew I’d be interviewing for a job… they were expensive… my family is counting on me to attend…”)

Bad questions target what’s broken and who broke it. Instead of asking, “Why did you fire the last person who held this job?” ask, “What skills and abilities are you looking for in the person you hire?”  Instead of asking, “Why is this company in so much trouble?” ask, “What direction is the company heading?”

Applicants who solve problems want problems to solve and can turn potentially bad questions into good ones with lead-in statements that explain why they’re asking. For example, “I’m a problem solver by trade and training. I add value and contribute most when I protect your bottom line by finding ways to save you time and money. With that in mind, what are some of the challenges the company is currently facing and what are you looking for in the candidate who’s right for this position?”

Applicants who see themselves as efficient (and others may see as impatient) experience frustration and irritation when having to wait to ask questions that concern them most: Will you pay me what I think I deserve? Will you promote me quickly and often? Will I get the insurance coverage I need and the vacation time I deserve? If you cut to the chase too quickly you’ll be cut from the competition. You’ll have time and opportunity to get your answers after you’ve been made the offer and before you decide to accept it. In the meantime, stick with questions that keep you in the game.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Bottom Line: You Didn’t Have a Bad Reference, It’s the Interview

Q:  I recently lost my job and have not been able to find another. I left my last job on not good terms with my former employer and I think they’re giving me a bad reference. I’ve had a couple of interviews with different companies and was told each time that I’d be getting a second interview. When I wouldn’t hear back I’d call and they’d tell me the position had been filled. Is there any way to prove my former employer is giving me a bad reference? How can I work around this? It’s been over a month and I need to get a job.

A:  Prospective employers screen applicants during the first interview and make their hiring decision after second and sometimes third interviews. If they’re going to check references, that’s when they’ll do it. Many past employers are hesitant to give work references on employees, good or bad, and limit the information they provide to only include dates of employment and job title or position.

Some prospective employers check credit reports and court records for evidence of behaviors that could negatively impact job performance. It takes time, money, and personnel to conduct these checks; three commodities that are in great demand and short supply. Therefore, only those candidates most likely to be hired are investigated. Bottom line, it’s not the reference that does you in, it’s the interview.

Most job loss applicants become apprehensive as they approach the interview, particularly when the economy is down and unemployment is on the rise. They worry most about what they can’t control; the questions they’ll be asked and those they ask themselves: “Was it the economy or was it me?” “Why was I laid off and others spared?” Worry undermines your sense of worth and narrows your perspective. Try as you might to camouflage your feelings, they show. What can you do?

Control what you can and let the rest of it go. Example: You’re worried about a reference that may or may not exist. Let it go, and if you can’t, do something about it. Call the individual who may have provided it. Indicate the (positive) lessons you’ve learned from your experience working for him, and what you’ll do differently going forward. It won’t change the past but it gives closure to it. Then, move on to what’s important; getting a job.

If you’re concerned that you’re coming across as depressed, angry, or anxious, you probably are. Your presentation may be muted; your affect, flat. If you typically feel centered and emotionally healthy, and believe your moods are tied to your employment concerns, make an appointment with a career professional who’s trained to answer your job related questions.

If you’re worried about your credit references, check them out. If you’re considered a credit risk and you’re seeking positions where that appearance can derail your job chances, get the financial assistance you need.

If those who know you and care about you have asked that you seek help from mental health professionals, do them or yourself a favor, make an appointment, today. There’s help out there for you and it’s up to you to get it.

You are not being held accountable for the American economy; you are not responsible for your company’s layoffs. Prospective employers aren’t looking to fix blame or find problems where they don’t exist. They have a job that needs doing and want to know if you can do it for them. Let them know you can by focusing the interview on your ability to be proactive and productive in ways that are measurable and quantifiable.

If you were fired and are asked “why?” be direct, honest, and succinct. Rather than blame yourself, your boss, or the company, briefly describe the situation, what you learned from it, and what you‘ll do differently going forward. Then turn the conversation to ways you can contribute to the company’s goals and objectives.

Every company that is hiring wants individuals who can work on their team, save them time and money, and contribute to their bottom line. That should be your focus, on the interview, and every day you’re on the job.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

 Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Back to Basics

Many job seekers start the hunt with a positive sense of urgency. You do all the right things, in the right order, and when weeks turn into months and nothing happens, you lose your way along with your energy. If you’re bumping, slumping, and sputtering, it’s time to get back to basics.

Resume: The longer it takes to find a job, the more you’re apt to tinker with your resume. If you’re trying to be all things to all people, you may have a document that’s too fuzzy and too long for the interviewer who hasn’t the time or disposition to plow through your prose. Focus your thinking and you’ll focus your resume.

Objective: If you’ve done a variety of things and held a variety of positions in a variety of companies, focus your objective by specifying the position you seek. When responding to an advertised position, include key words that define the opportunity and correspond to your experience.

Summary statement: You don’t need one. It’s redundant. Your resume is a summary statement.

Simplify and clarify: Bullet-point your accomplishments and reinforce them with quantifiable facts and figures that are evidence of your success.

Personal information: Stick with the essentials of name, address, telephone number, and email address. If you’re a college graduate, include the name and location of your school, your degree and area of specialization. If you had a 3.0 or better, include it. If you didn’t, don’t.

Affiliations: Include professional and civic organizations and leadership roles/chair positions you’ve held. Do not include religious or political affiliations unless you seek their employment.

Selecting your references: Ask permission from individuals you’ve worked for and believe to be professionally savvy, connected, and reliable. If they’ve moved, find them and describe the position you seek and the organization in which you’d like to work. Ask for their reaction to what you’ve shared. Listen closely to their response and the degree to which they are supportive and encouraging. If you detect a note of hesitation, check it out. If they appear cool to the whole idea, rethink your objective or find another reference.

Networking: If your efforts appear to have fizzled, don’t give up on this most important search strategy. Networking opens doors to opportunities that can’t be reached in other ways. It’s a fact; more jobs are available than are advertised. Your quest is to find them. To do that you’ll need to talk to the people who know where they are.

Before you start making random calls, be sure you can succinctly describe what you do best. Then look for people who specialize in the field you want to enter or continue working. If you don’t have natural access to them, talk to people you know personally, who work in jobs that interface directly or indirectly with these people. If you’re not sure what your friends, neighbors, and acquaintances do and where they work, find out. Ask them.

Networking is a technique that enables you to connect your questions to the information you need, that takes you to the people who know, who in turn can introduce you to the jobs you want, and those who hire for them.

Yes, I hear you. Networking may not be for you if you don’t like to ask favors of people you know and like, or of people you barely know and don’t know if you like. You may be reticent, hesitant or reluctant to get out there and meet and greet. Get over yourself. You say you want a job, one that’s better than the one you currently hold or the one you no longer have. That’s going to take courage, creativity, focus, and connections that you’ve yet to fully tap. Start networking.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Take Time, Take Charge: Do Circumstances Block Your Way?

The answer lies somewhere in the pause.

How many situations have you made worse because you stepped in where you weren’t needed, said more when less was enough, and offered opinions when none were requested?

How many times do you wish you’d said more, because less wasn’t enough? When you wish you’d offered a kind word or a statement of support?

There is nothing heroic about speaking first if speaking last is the wiser choice. There is no grace in turning away, when everything within you says, “do something, now.”

There is no valor in taking action when none is needed; in making decisions when consideration is all that is required. There is no merit in taking control when control is not yours to take.

The answer, sometimes, is in the hesitation, the afterthought that was the right thought, after all.

A business owner complained, repeatedly, of having too much to do and not enough time to think. “I need time to set strategy,” he said. “I need time to meet with my employees and my customers. This ‘crisis management’ is killing me and killing my business.”

He called the other day. “Bummer!” he shouted, before saying hello. “Can you believe this? Our biggest project has been delayed, and now I’m sitting here with time on my hands and nothing to do. This wait is gonna’ kill me.”

When I reminded him of the strategy he so desperately wanted to set, the employees and customers he so urgently wanted to see, he didn’t respond. I asked to be sure he was still on the line.

“I’m here”, he said quietly. “I’m here.” More silence.

“I’m thinking. I’m thinking that it didn’t occur to me that this is my chance to take care of what I’ve put to the side. Gotta’ go. I’ll talk to you later.”

A few weeks passed, and he called again. He sounded great, his voice mellow, his tone relaxed. I shared my impression and asked him to account for the change.

“I didn’t realize I was so transparent, but I’m not surprised. I’ve had a great couple of weeks. I’ve had the time to do that “walk around” managing I’ve always enjoyed, and I learned more about our problems then I ever knew existed. The management and leadership teams have had meetings with production employees from each shift, so we can learn from the shop floor up, what we can do to work smarter.

We’ve gotten manufacturing, quality, sales, distribution, and customer service talking to each other, and not a minute too soon. They’re getting their problems figured out, and have scheduled time to talk with product development and marketing. Then I’ve got all of them talking with accounting, finance and legal so we can be sure to align our perspectives and positions with missions and direction.

I’m working as hard as ever but haven’t felt this good in years. I think this is what they call ‘business balance’.”

I asked if he noticed any change in the behaviors or attitudes of his employees.

“Absolutely.” he said. “Everyone seems to have more energy. They’re getting along. I didn’t realize how bad morale was until we started this.”

“And what’s the most significant change you see?” I asked.

“We’re taking time to analyze the situation and solve what the problem is, not what it appears to be. We’re taking time to listen to what people are saying, instead of assuming that we know without they’re telling us. We’re listening to our customers and responding to what they need instead of making excuses to cover the mistakes we’re making.”

If you’re like this hard-charger, you’re addicted to work and want to do it all. You won’t stop and don’t think until circumstances block your way. Then you blame yourself for the things you’ve left undone, and turn worry into problems of mythic proportion. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Take time to take charge of your life and your business. Create mental and emotional space; gain perspective by taking stock; evaluate the inventory of what you’ve learned and make principled decisions that are based on doing the right things, for the right reasons.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, ezine or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

It’s a Match Game: Strengths to Company’s Needs

Pete’s miserable. Miserable. Said that he can’t remember feeling worse. He’s stuck with a nowhere job at a nowhere company doing work he was doing five years ago and he was bored with it then.

How did he get into this mess and how does he get out?

He had a great career (his words, not mine) with a large, hierarchical, autocratic company (my words, not his). He lasted for 10 years. Lasted, because he was able to dart around downsizings, jump over mergers, and duck behind large bosses. Finally, he ran out of time, luck and quick reflexes. He was on the street.

Pete went with the first company that would hire him. He needed a steady job and a good salary and this company fit the bill.

Pete didn’t care if he could do the work as long as he could pay the bills. He learned pretty quickly that he did everything but his job (his boss’s words, not Pete’s) and without his job he couldn’t pay the bills. Pete landed back on the street.

Pete went with the next company that would hire him. The work looked steady, the pay was fair, it paid most of the bills, and that was just about good enough. Pete still didn’t care if he could do the work so it wasn’t long before the boss found out and he told Pete. That put Pete back out on the street.

Pete went with the third company that would hire him. The pay was paltry, the position was pitiful, and this time the business folded before Pete did.

Now Pete’s on his 5th job in his 5th company is just over 5 years. He’s having a terrible time of it.

What can Pete do that he’s not already done? Plenty.

Being glib, quick and confident works well in a shell game. It takes more than that to work in an organization.

Pete, figure out what you do well and what you don’t. It’s a match game, not a con game. Match your strengths to what your company needs. Work hard. That’s how you get a job and how you keep a job.

When was the last time you enjoyed your work because you were good at it? When was the last time you got an attaboy?

Go back as far as you need to find the answers.

There was a hobby, a sport, a summer job, a college course that you liked and did well. The clues to what your work should be are embedded in that experience.

What is your long term goal? What are you hoping to achieve?

You say you want work and a paycheck. That’s a means to an end. It’s not the end. If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up back where you started. And you have, Pete, you have.

What are your short term goals? What objectives do you have for your first week on the job, your first month, your first year? How will you measure success?

What’s your action plan? How are you going to get from here to there? How will your short term goals connect to your long term vision? What must you do to get what you want?

Pete, are you willing to work hard enough to make it happen?

Do you have the courage to admit that you don’t know it all and you can’t know it all?

What kind of continuing education or specific skills training do you need? Where can you get it? Are you willing to do what it takes to learn it?

What drains your energy? Are you worried about ailing parents and aging debt? Are you willing to find and accept the help that you need?

Pete, you said that you’re miserable, stuck in a nowhere job in a nowhere company, doing boring work you did years ago. Who did that to you?

You’re too good a person and have too much talent to play a blame game. You dug yourself into this mess. Check your watch. It’s time to dig yourself out.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Job Search After a Felony

Q: “I’ve recently been released from prison and want to get back into my profession. I’ve been trying to re hone my skills but given my felony record am I just spinning my wheels? What do I say when I’m asked about the lapse in my employment?

A. You’re not spinning your wheels, you will find employment, and you will have some real challenges ahead. Let’s start with the first hurdles to overcome, and go from there:

Responsible employers will not want to put you, their employees, or the public the company serves, into situations that create the perception, real or imagined, of danger. Therefore, sit down with your parole officer and counselor before you interview. Identify work environments and interpersonal situations to avoid and those that are appropriate to approach. Candidly discuss the reasonable, practical, and emotional concerns that prospective employers and their employees might have, given your recent history. Prepare yourself to respond to those fears in ways that not only demonstrate self-awareness, but also describe the conscious changes you’ve made in your behavior and your ability to respond to others.

Address the lapses in your employment history in a truthful and straightforward way. You mentioned “rehoning your skills.” Describe how you’ve continued your education during and following the time you were imprisoned; and the preparations you have made for the career direction you are taking. Describe your past accomplishments and your ability to contribute to the future success of the company you’d like to join.

Your challenge, and it’s a big one, is getting the interviewer to focus on what you’re saying and not on where you’ve been and what got you there.

To accomplish that, address what concerns them most. Ask prospective employers to ask you any and all work related questions or concerns they have relative to your history in or out of prison. Ask them to describe the challenges they believe you will confront at their place of business. Then answer those concerns in an honest and forthright manner.

Q: I’m concerned about the application form. How can I answer the question about felonies so that my job application won’t get tossed as soon as my response is read?

A: Answer that question and every question truthfully. Will your application be tossed? It’s likely that it will. What can you do about it?

There’s more to all of us than can be demonstrated on an application or resume. Talk to the people who know you best, stood by you, and are willing to take a chance on you. Those individuals, directly or indirectly, may know people who hire people.

You’re asking for a chance to tell an employer your story: your work history, why you were arrested, what you’ve learned as a result, and your efforts to now make good on the rest of your life.

Q: How can I regain my self-respect? My confidence is gone. I’m afraid to get out there and tell my story. What can I do to move forward?

A: I’ve never been in your shoes. I cannot begin to know what you feel. But others have been there. Ask your parole officer and your counselor for help in finding individuals who have been able to make a successful transition and who would be willing to talk with you and counsel you through a very tough time.

I do know this. A comeback takes time, patience and incremental steps. It takes the capacity to accept responsibility and accountability for the choices that you’ve made in the past and will make in the future. It requires asking forgiveness from those you have, by intention or omission, caused physical pain or emotional suffering. It takes reaching out to those who are strong when you’re weak and tender when you’re hurt. It takes all that, and enough people who are willing to say, “I’ll give you another chance.”

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Job Concerns Living Inside the Head of a Person Near You

Do any of these job hunting concerns live inside the head of a person near you?

• I’m interested in so many things, I can’t settle on just one.
• If I’m so smart, how come no one is offering me a job?
• I’d do real well on an interview, I just don’t know how to get one.
• I’d get hired if I knew what I wanted to do.
• If I knew what I wanted to do I could get outside my head and go do it.

Let’s start with the first one:

I’m interested in so many things, I can’t settle on just one.

You may have trouble deciding on one career direction because you’re concerned you’ll pick the wrong path and be forever limited by your choice. Instead, select something that you can focus on for the next year or two; evaluate your situation when the time comes, then choose to stay or choose to look. There is no law or contract that binds you to one job or career for life. That may have been true twenty years ago. It’s not true now.

If I’m so smart, how come no one is offering me a job?

You’ve probably been told by your parents, teachers and friends that you’re intelligent, even gifted, and can do anything you want to do. That’s the problem. You can do anything and aren’t drawn to any one thing. When you go on an interview you don’t show any enthusiasm because you don’t feel any. The interviewer picks up on it, and doesn’t feel any enthusiasm about your candidacy. No juice, no offer.

I do real well on an interview. I just can’t get one.

There’s a big difference between self confidence and job search strategy. It sounds like you’ve got plenty of one and not enough of the other. Eighty percent of available jobs aren’t advertised. You find them by plugging into the word of mouth circuit and then start networking. As the word implies, networking enables you to work your way through an interconnected system of contacts, until you reach what you’re looking for: an interview.

The essentials of networking include: contacting people you know personally who share your professional interests; talking with them about your search; describing your strengths and skill sets; asking for ways to connect with people you should meet. Then you ask for introductions and meet with individuals they recommend. And never, ever ask a networking contact to find you a job.

I’d get hired if I knew what I wanted to do.

There are so many people who don’t know what they want to do, it’s a miracle anything gets done. No wonder the total value of goods and services produced is called the gross national product.

There are three ways that, in combination, can help you find what you are best matched to doing:

Self analysis: Look back at your life and the jobs you’ve had: what are the things you’ve enjoyed most and found greatest success doing?

Talk with people who know you best: Seek their insight regarding what they have observed you doing most easily and with greatest enthusiasm.

Career Counseling: Work with professionals trained to take what you know and have learned about yourself, who know the questions to ask, and can provide the feedback and analysis you need to enable you to find your way.

If I knew what I wanted to do I could get out of my head and go do it.

One of the reasons you’ve hesitated for so long has been your quest for the “one right job.” What you really need is to head in the right direction. Like everyone else, you’re bound to stumble. The moment of truth comes with what you’ll do next. People may give you advice. They can’t give you courage. That’s up to you.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

My Boss and I Absolutely Do Not Get Along!

A reader asks this question:

“I have an ordeal I’m dealing with and need your advice. I’ve been at my current position for one year and greatly enjoy the people I work with except for my boss. We don’t click at all. It seems like I can never do one thing to please her. I’m in my 20′s and she’s twice my age. I have an undergraduate degree and she has an advanced degree. I watch the way she interacts with the other people in the office who have higher degrees and she gets along with everyone of them BUT me. If she calls me and I’m not at my desk or I’m on the phone she assumes that I’m not here. Its like that constantly. She belittles me in front of others and sends me rude emails. I need to know how to handle her and this situation. I’ve tried talking to her in the past but she blows up and says she doesn’t want to hear about it. Can you help?”

~ M. P. in Anywhere City, USA

A: You sound like you want to make this work despite describing a boss who sounds like a cross between the Wicked Witch of the West and Cinderella’s stepmother. She doesn’t appreciate or value your work and likes everyone in the office, but you. I’m not sure where your motivation to succeed is coming from, but I’m glad you’ve got it. Now, let’s get to work.

You’ve noticed that your boss gets along with everyone but you, so I’m assuming you work in a fairly small office. I mention that because your boss has chosen to communicate with you via telephone or email. She even rejected your suggestion to meet and clear the air. So, why is she throwing darts from long distance?

What you know: She doesn’t like your job performance.

What you don’t know: Why she doesn’t like it.

You have a hunch that your problems are connected to what sets you two apart: age and education. You could be onto something. If your boss believes you’re not performing your job as a mature, responsible, educated adult should (as mature, responsible, and almost as educated as she sees herself) then she’d be aggravated with you. That doesn’t mean that she’s right in her perceptions but she has the right to have them.

You mentioned that she assumes you’re not working when you’re away from your desk or on the phone. She could reasonably conclude that you’re using office time to do things other than what she has assigned. (It’s that perception thing again.)

How can you change her perceptions? Change your behaviors. Provide your boss a daily status report on your assignments. If you’re ahead of schedule (which may be why you’re on the phone or away from your desk), let her know and ask how you can be of additional assistance to her and the department.

You’ve observed that your boss gets along better with office mates who have advanced degrees. Her attitude may have more to do with different work styles than differences in intellect. In short, she gets along better with people who see the world as she does, and you may see the world differently. Here’s a hypothetical example: let’s say your boss plays by the rules, is a stickler for details and deadlines, and gets anxious if you don’t share her concerns. She might call you a sloppy, slacking, screw-up (you mentioned her belittling comments and rude emails).

On the other hand, you may be a creative person who loves variety and flexibility, and believe that doing things with flair and style are more satisfying than getting them done on time. You’re not into details, you’re into possibilities! That’s a conflict waiting to happen.

You mention there are several co-workers that get along with you and your boss. They’re in a position to see what you miss. Ask them to respond candidly to three questions:

I want to be more effective in my job and get along better with my boss. What should I stop doing, start doing, and continue to do?

Now take your positive energy and get to work!

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Fast Track Your Job Search

You’ll fast track your job search when you increase your focus, improve your efficiency, and target your marketing.

If you’re sending out resumes and not getting responses you have either lost your focus or never had it. Your resume has three roles: scout, matchmaker, and mouthpiece. It probes for possibilities, looks for a match, and speaks on your behalf. If it fails to deliver on any of these roles, it won’t be considered and neither will you.

If you want your resume to land in the interviewer’s “in” basket, here’s what you do:

Match your objective to the language you read in advertised job posting. The interviewer is scanning for “key words”. Those are the words the interviewer is using. Match them.

Match your work experience to the experience that’s needed to perform in the advertised position.

Match your words to your deeds: tell the reader what you want and the difference you make to the company where you work; give the reader quantifiable evidence of your accomplishments; show the reader your track record of achievement relative to your years of experience, and say it cogently and concisely so you’ll have a shot at success.

On the flip side, here’s what takes you out of the game.

If your resume goes on too long about things only a mother can love, you’re a bore.
If your resume says too much about things most people care too little about, you‘re out of touch.
If your resume doesn’t match what the company needs, you’re not paying attention.
If your resume reads like a job description, you have no imagination.
If your resume reads like a know it all, you’re not open to learning.

With your resume in your briefcase, on line, and in your head you’re ready to improve your efficiency, focus your search, and target your market.

Start with the basics and answer the questions: How large a company; how far a commute; how much of a salary?

Define the company: How mature or emergent? Open or closed ? Creative or consistent? Risk taking or conservative? Top down or bottom up?

Identify and prioritize your values: Help others, be an expert, achieve, compete, take risks, be respected…

With those questions answered you’re ready to write your 20 second elevator speech, which doubles as the objective on your resume and the answer to ‘tell me about yourself’. It’s your sense of purpose and reason for being, when what you want to be is an income producing, purposeful employee.

All that’s left to do is reintroduce yourself to people you know who know people who hire people. You have your resume, your marketing plan, your elevator speech and the answers to the questions you’re most likely to be asked. You can respond on line, in person, by phone, fax, and smoke signals. Put on some interview clothes, a strong dose of optimism, and you’re good to go. The only barrier that can stand in your way now is a bad attitude. If you can’t fix that, the best plan won’t help you.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Stop Looking in the Rearview Mirror and Focus Ahead

If you only focus on where you’ve been and what you’ve left behind, you won’t see what lies ahead.

All she could talk about was how stuck she was; how she and her business, both successful, had slowed, then ground to a stop.

“My customers once had money to throw around and they loved to throw it my way,” she wailed. I had a high end business and my clients didn’t have to worry about where the next buck was coming from.  Now they’re either broke or think they are and want nothing to do with me. I’ve not only lost my clientele, I’ve lost my social network and my social standing. I call these people and no one answers. I leave messages and no one returns my calls. I don’t know if it’s me or it’s them but it’s all I can do to drag myself to work in the morning.”

She has every reason to be concerned; to vent about an economy that has drained the joy and the cash out of what she does and who she believes herself to be. That doesn’t mean she needs to sit atop that vent until it draws her into a place that’s hard to escape.

What can she and you do to shift focus from your rear view mirror and what’s quickly receding from sight, to what lies ahead?

“I can’t do anything. That’s it. End of story.”

That’s the end of that chapter. Your story is much bigger than one chapter. Tell me about you.

“What’s to tell? I’m fifty-one years old. I have three kids and four grandchildren and no husband. I travel, which I love, and I entertain, which I love even more. I have friends who love to be with me because I make them laugh.”

With that, she let out a hearty, delighted laugh, as though remembering something wonderful. I asked her to describe the occasion. Her eyes brightened and she smiled softly, reflectively as she told a story that was full of life and exuberance. The tension that had seemed to define her fell away, and she relaxed. She was back in balance.

“What do I need to do?” she asked. “I’m ready.”

 When stress overtakes you, emotions rule and emotions want you to survive. What you fear most (and can’t control) rises up to take you down. The feeling is so real, so frightening that your primal response to it is fight or flight. As a result, you think too little and behave too much. None of those dreadful things are going to happen to you but your emotions don’t know that. They want to save you.

When reason overrules emotion, you think before acting and move as though stuck in mud. The act of putting one foot before the other is exhausting as you inch forward, eyes down, taking care to not stumble and fall.

When you’re confronted by change you don’t expect, adapt by allowing your emotions to inform reason and reason to manage your emotions. Once you’re in balance you’ll begin to see the road forward and the possibilities that lie ahead.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

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