Women and Retirement

We were taking our weekly Sunday walk when my friend mentioned a column that I had written a few weeks earlier.

“The retirement column you wrote was definitely about men. Women retire too. Why aren’t  you writing about us?”

I didn’t have an answer and realized that I was uncharacteristically without words, which is probably why I hadn’t written any. So I’ve done some asking, and thinking, and asking some more. Here’s some of  what I’ve discovered. I hope you’ll fill me in on the rest:

Pre and post retirement women tell me they are seldom asked, “how are you handling retirement?” because most assume that they are continuing with what they did before their careers joined hands with the rest of their lives. They’re still working.

Most women with or without children or parents or husbands or lovers aren’t asked what they will do when they retire because they don’t.

If women don’t really retire, when do they get to rest, travel, surf the net, and in general, play hooky?

If they want to take time off, they’ll have to give notice, especially to those who have counted on them most and longest:

This is your mother speaking. I  have retired. I no longer work for fee or free. I can still cook, clean, mend, and on occasion, baby sit. But now I do it when I want to and if it is convenient. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it means that I’m doing something for me.             

This is your daughter speaking. I have retired.  I may not be here when you call. That doesn’t mean that I won’t take you shopping or to the doctor, or wherever you like. It means that you’ll need an alternate plan for help when I’m not here to provide it for you.  That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it means that I’m doing something for me.

This is your wife speaking. I have retired.  This is a wonderful and challenging time for me.  I’ve changed since we first met. So have you. I have more skills and strengths than I earlier realized . My expectations are different than they were then. I am more than I was and there is more that I want to be. I’m going to continue to grow. I’d like your encouragement and support along the way.

This is a single woman, with no kids, speaking. I have retired.  That means that at last I am free to do and be what I choose, everyday. I can go out and volunteer, slap paint on a wall or take the dog to the vet. I can walk in the park, compute in the dark, read a book or take a nap. And I can do it anytime I want to.

If  you are reasonably secure with a sense of emotional and physical well being you can do whatever you choose. So do something of value in your retirement.

Dare to dream. Challenge yourself to make it happen. Stretch, grow, take a chance. These are the years you’ve waited a lifetime to begin. They don’t come with a road map or a how-to manual.

You will need courage, imagination and initiative:

Courage to ask questions and go places you’ve not gone before.              

Imagination to create possibilities and options for how to obtain them. 

Initiative to go where you need without waiting for an invitation or asking for permission.

Expand your horizons by meeting people who do what you’d love to do. Attend workshops and seminars and exhibits and classes that teach what you’d love to learn.

Where to go, what to do?

Check for interesting programs at your library,  Volunteer Center,  Women’s Resource Center, Women’s Hospital,  Arts Center, YWCA, and your religious or spiritual center, just for starters.

Check for a comprehensive list of community clubs and organizations at your public library web site, or stop by and ask.

Check the newspaper for interesting speakers, performances,  and profiles of local folks you’d like to meet.

Check with community colleges, liberal arts colleges, and universities for courses designed for the life long learner.

It takes courage to create a retirement that spits in the eye of conventional wisdom. If anyone can make a beginning out of an ending, it’s you.

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 Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

 Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Readers Respond to “No Excuses” Article

My August 8, 2010 career column in the Greensboro News & Record, entitled, “Excuses Get You Nowhere,” generated a few responses that I wanted to share with blog readers.  First, a few summary bullet points of the column if you don’t have time to click through to the News & Record:

• Excuses, no matter how valid, justified or prevalent, are your own worst enemy in finding a job.
• Take your excuses and find a way to respond to them.  The article gives a few ideas of how to do that.
• Take the time to know what you have to offer, come up with a positive and succinct way to present yourself to employers and then maintain a great attitude while doing it.

From a reader responding to the, “I can’t get a job because I am too old” excuse:

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to send this to me. I found it so interesting and really wanted to keep it because the time is coming soon that I will be out hitting the pavement looking for a job. I know I will voice these same excuses when I don’t get the job I want.

I just recently graduated Practical Nursing and am taking my boards soon and might even go back to school to finish a degree in Office Systems Technology, haven’t decided yet.

I am going to print this out to remind me that although I am fifty-seven years old, I am still the person for the job..

From a reader responding to the “I can’t get hired because I don’t have any experience” excuse:

I was given your article in the 8/8/2010 News and Record to read.  It is entitled “Excuses get you nowhere.”  I have a question regarding your recommendation of how to respond when applying for jobs, when one does not have job experience.  It seems as though many job listings state that experience is required.  Are you implying that one should apply and then address the issue of lack of experience?  If so, this could also be interpreted as the applicant not having the ability to follow directions.  Thanks in advance for your clarification of this point.

And my thoughts…

 

Thanks for writing and thanks in advance for being open to pursuing job opportunities in ways other than responding to on line postings… (the hardest way to get a job).

Consider this: the numbers of graduate and undergraduate contacts you’ve made through your academic progression.

The numbers of professors, instructors, and practitioners with whom you have worked and studied all these years.

Each of them likely know someone or several  who are in the field you are training to enter… who can not only refer you, but can be a reference for you… for a conversation, if not an interview.

This is the best way for you to find an opportunity that will provide you that essential ‘experience’.

No matter the business, industry, or area of specialization, people hire people. Relationships count.

Use them, in the best sense possible.

I appreciate all the emails and blog comments from readers — keep them coming!

 

 

A Key to an Effective Job Search: Networking

Networking is key to an effective job search. If you want it to work so you can go to work, use it, don’t abuse it. Here are a few scenarios that describe networking, done badly:

I asked my friend if she would help me look for a job. She said, “Sure, what do you need?” And I said, “I just told you, I need you to help me look for a job.” And she said, “Are you kidding me? Like you want me to go online and look for a job for you? And I said, “yes.” I haven’t heard back from her since. Some friend.

I asked my Dad’s friend if he would be a reference for me. He owns a business and I thought his name would look good to some of the people who would be reviewing my resume. Instead of his agreeing to, he actually asked me to tell him what I’m looking for, and when I didn’t do a great job of it, he said that I didn’t sound very sure of myself and that I needed to practice more before I started looking. Can you imagine that? I told my Dad that he didn’t have a very good friend.

 I’ve been networking for a year now and it hasn’t done anything for me. I go to all kinds of social events and tell everyone within ear-shot that I’m looking for a job. Hello? It hasn’t gotten me anywhere. What’s with these people?

 Here are some examples of networking done well:

I told my friend that I was looking for a job and described what the right opportunity would look like. I asked her if she’d be willing to brainstorm with me for just a few minutes about where the possibilities might be and who might know about them. She jumped right on it. Because we have so much in common she was quick to mention which of our mutual friends might be helpful and a few friends of hers, whom I didn’t know, who could be helpful as well. She was a great help and motivator, and I told her so.

I asked my dad if he thought any of his business friends would be willing be serve as a reference for me. He mentioned two, both of whom I’ve known for years. I called each, asked for an appointment, both agreed to see me and both meetings followed the same course of action. I was asked to describe the kinds of jobs I was going for and why I thought I’d be a good candidate. I had practiced so I was ready: I described what I do well and enjoy doing, how that’s benefited my past employers and how I can add value to current and future employers. It not only worked, I got to use their names as references, and each of them gave me names and phone numbers of people they know, who might know of something for me. I really appreciated their time and their help, and told them so.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com)been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Dedicated to Teachers Everywhere

By the time we arrived at our old family home we were bone tired. It was good to get off the road and open the door to a safe place of summer reflection. It was the perfect occasion to reminisce…

I was entering elementary school and I still didn’t talk. I was born into a family that was extroverted, emotional, musical, and exhausting. There was so much commotion in our house I had no desire to contribute to it. So I didn’t.

My first grade teacher didn’t seem to think it was odd that I didn’t say anything. She assigned me a desk, made sure I got lunch, and went on with the day. The year ended as it began.

Our second grade teacher was magical. She looked like Snow White and children whistled while they worked. She was young, happy, and smart. Or seemed to be, despite the fact that she didn’t seem to understand that I had nothing to say.

She’d ask me a question about arithmetic or spelling, wait for an answer, and act as though I gave one. The children, exasperated at her effort or frustrated with her innocence, repeatedly groaned, “Joyce doesn’t talk.” If she noticed she didn’t show it. Instead, she’d nod her approval and call on the next child. The same would happen at recess, which I’d spend situated in the crook of big shade tree. She’d stop by to visit, listen to me think, nod, smile, and continue her rounds.

We were nearing the end of the school year when she announced we were going to turn our favorite story, Hansel and Gretel into a play and… before she could finish her sentence the children went wild, waving their arms, vying for starring roles. She ignored the outburst. “Jimmy will play Hansel,” she said, “Susan will play Gretel, and the Witch will be played by…” the room hushed as she named the last of three cast-members, the one all remaining second graders now aspired…

“Joyce,” she said. Well, that did it. The class revolted. “JOYCE DOESN’T TALK!!!!” She was not moved. Her decision was final. The play would begin right after lunch.

She perched a hat on Hansel, tied an apron on Gretel, and tucked me inside the shimmery folds of her beautiful, black silk coat. I was perfectly, absolutely invisible.

It was show time. Hansel and Gretel, lost in the woods, made their way to the witch’s house where I, concealed inside the teacher’s coat, awaited them. That’s when it happened.

The witch cackled. She cackled, I cackled! Out loud, in a very scary, very convincing witch’s voice… and no one, not Hansel or Gretel, responded. Wondering where they all went, I peered out from my hiding place just as they cried out, “Joyce can talk!” They jumped up and down, hugged each other and best of all, they hugged me.

At our old family home, sitting in the midst of childhood memories, I received a phone call from my teacher, who is now 81. She was going through a scrapbook, found a letter I had written a very long time ago, telling her what she had meant to me. She wanted me to know what that letter meant to her.

My teacher, Jean House, had talent, grace, curiosity, intuition, infinite patience, and she changed my life. She taught school that one year and I had the extraordinary good fortune to have been one of her students.

To you who teach, who tutor, coach or mentor, from those of us who have benefited from your care, concern, and wisdom… we want you to know how much you have touched our lives.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Questions from Readers

Q:   I’ve been unemployed for the past 18 months and have worked dozens of part time jobs during that time. If I list each job separately, I’ll look like a major job hopper. What do you suggest I do?

A:  State the obvious: that you’ve worked temporary positions since (give the date) that enable you to serve a wide range of client organizations in a variety of ways that add value.

Q:   I’ve been fired, laid off, canned, whatever you call it. Bottom line, I don’t have a job and don’t know how to explain what happened to the last one. I was told that the company had decided to go in a different direction. What does that mean and how can I translate that to a prospective employer?

A:  Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. When asked why you left your last job, respond with a firm, “they decided to go in a different direction and I respect their decision.” No translation necessary.

Q:  I’m going to graduate college this spring and I don’t have any idea what I want to do with my expensive degree. My parents are understandably concerned but their constant pressure for me to “commit” to something scares me away from making a decision that could turn out to be the wrong one. What do you suggest I do?

A:  Clarify what’s important to you in a work setting and what you value in the people with whom you work. Figure out what you enjoy, what you’d like to do more, and get better at doing. Ask your professors, extended family and friends for contacts they know who share your interests and values. Follow up, follow through and take a leap of faith that whatever you choose first will be a learning opportunity that you can apply to whatever you decide to choose next.

Q:  I’m in my mid forties with nearly grown children and I’m just now completing a college degree I began years ago. The clock is ticking and I don’t have time to lose, so how can I improve my marketability while I’m still in school?

A:  Network. If you were an active stay at home parent raising those now nearly grown children you’ve met plenty of contacts along the way, in the neighborhood, carpooling, going to doctor’s and dentist’s offices, school, PTA, and community events. Make a list, make calls and set up meetings to get re-acquainted. Describe what you’re training to do professionally and that you would appreciate any suggestions they’d have for internships and referrals. In most cases you’ll get a positive response and willingness to refer you as someone they know as a dependable, hard working, team player.

Q:  I graduated from college with a BA in General Studies and the only job offers I’m getting are for administrative assistant positions. I’m disappointed. I deserve something better, not because I’m so special, but because I have a college degree. Should I take the job, keep looking, or get over myself?

A:  I vote for all three: Take the job, keep looking, and get over yourself. Take the job to put structure in your life and help you determine what you do well, and what you don’t. Ask for expanded responsibilities and continue to develop your competencies. Ask managers how you can capitalize on your strengths and add value to the company. Apply for advancement opportunities within the company and if need be, outside. Go easy on yourself. Finding a career is a process that requires time, self-awareness, self-development, constructive feedback, openness to learning, courage, and determination to succeed.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Keeping Your Balance with Reorganization

Heads up, friends and neighbors. Companies are reorganizing and if you’re working for them you know what that means: the earth is going to move under your feet. If you want to keep your balance even as those around you might be losing theirs, think about what you want to do, what you say and who you to say it to.

Let’s begin with the “Don’ts”:

Don’t engage in a whisper campaign against management. In fact, don’t whisper about anything, even surprise parties. Don’t huddle in small groups, or large groups, or groups of any size.

Don’t hide. Don’t keep your head down. Don’t duck responsibility. Don’t shrug your shoulders. Don’t argue, defend, or attempt to explain why you’re arguing, defending, and explaining.

Don’t look for your boss. And if you locate him, or her, don’t make unreasonable requests (“You’ll protect me, right?”) or ask questions they can’t answer because 1. They don’t know and would rather not say, 2. They do know and have been told not to say, 3. They don’t know what they don’t know and that’s pretty embarrassing.

Don’t hang out with dooms-dayers, nay- sayers, boss bashing, hair tossing, eye rollers and co-workers prone to public meltdowns. They’ll drain the energy you need to stand upright and get your job done.

What should you do?

Push the negativity aside. There’s plenty you can do, and ought to do, every day to stabilize yourself and the people who work with you. Opt for solutions instead of problems. If you want to ask questions, ask what you can do to help in the transition. If you want to stay busy, focus on increasing the company’s revenues or improving its profitability. If you want to manage your emotions, control what you can and let the rest of it go.

The company is reorganizing. You should, too. Take inventory of your habits, behaviors, systems and processes and determine the ways you can save yourself and other’s time, energy, money, and aggravation. Instead of saturating yourself with blame for the situation you’re in, do something about it. If others are advancing because they appear to know more than you, do what they do; study, learn, and apply what you know in ways that can make an immediate difference for the organization. If they have the style and you have the substance and style appears to be winning, improve your style. Invite others to speak, to share their opinions, and add yours to theirs. Build bridges with ideas and connect ideas to actions that benefit the company.

If others appear to be advancing because they know the people you don’t know, do what they do. Put yourself out there. Introduce yourself to people you need to know and reintroduce yourself to people you need to know better. Go to meetings, get involved, get going on initiatives, and get back to the team with what’s happening. Get to know people who easily connect to people who have influence. Ask them what they need, and respond by telling them what you’ve done and can do and how you can be part of the solution.

If others are advancing because they have something to say; say something. Register opinions, offer perspectives, and advance ideas without having to be asked. Say what you mean like you mean it, without apology, hesitation, or fear of being second-guessed. Say it because it’s part of the answer, not part of the problem.

If others are advancing because they make decisions, be a decision maker. Get involved and involve others. Be informed and inform others. Re-affirm, re-think, re-invent, and re-organize yourself so that you add value to whatever comes next.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Check List of “Gotta-Do’s” Before Going to Interviews

Whether you’re looking for a job or just thinking about it, you have work to do before you head out to your first interview. Here’s a quick list of gotta-do’s before you get going:

Self-assessment:  This is your starting point. You need to clarify what you do well and enjoy doing before you start interviewing. Validate your perspective with those who know and can assess your performance. If they give you a thumbs-up, ask them to be your reference.

Resume:  Top and center your name, address, telephone number, and email address on each of no more than two pages. Use the same font (Times New Roman, Ariel, Tahoma are all good choices) and type size (12 pt) throughout. Next, state your objective (that’s the job you want) and follow with your formal education. Include the name and location of the college or university that confirmed your degree; the degree you earned; academic distinctions; and the year you graduated. Follow education with work experience. Begin with your current or most recent employment and in reverse chronological order list the name of the company/companies where you’ve worked, their locations, followed by your job titles or positions, number of years employed. Summarize in one or two sentences the responsibilities of the job. For each position you’ve held, include a minimum of three quantifiable accomplishments.

Telephone answering machine/service:  When you record your personal, professional sounding no frills greeting, first identify yourself, then ask for the caller’s name, message and phone number.

Email:  If you are concerned about security, create a separate email account for your job search. Shut down any websites or postings that could be interpreted as embarrassing, compromising, or potentially damaging to your reputation.  Proofread, spell and grammar check messages, resumes, and cover letters before sending them.

References:  Prospective employers will expect you to provide them names and contact information for at least three individuals to whom you have reported and who are willing to provide information on your previous employment.  It’s up to you to secure their permission. 

Research:  Employers expect you to do your homework. Check out their company websites; Google the company name for articles in mainstream media and trade journals. If you want to know what the consuming public thinks about how they conduct business, check with the Better Business Bureau.

Dress for success:  When you start looking for a job people start noticing how you look. Don’t wait for an interview to be at your best. Develop and maintain a healthy life style with proper hygiene, good nutrition, exercise, and a good night’s sleep. Be as mindful of your behavior as you are of your appearance.

Networking:  Spend the majority of your search time where you get the greatest return on your investment: network. Connect with people you know who know people you don’t know, so you can tap into the Hidden Job Market. Here’s the deal: employers with jobs to fill don’t want to be inundated with a torrent of applicants and applications. They’d rather use their discretion by focusing on candidates referred to them by individuals they know and trust. If you’re networking with the same people and you’re a good match, you’ll get the interview. The more you network, the better your odds of finding and landing a job.

Telephone screening calls:  Companies save time and money screening applicants by telephone. The conversation is likely to be brief, so you’ll have to know what you want and how you benefit companies where you work. You’ll need to listen well and ask questions that move the process forward. How you sound is as important as what you say, so be positive and energetic. 

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

One More Tough Question Answered

What’s a tough interview question? One you don’t know how to answer.

I don’t want to be asked why there are so many gaps in my resume.

I don’t want to be asked why I went to a top school, got great grades, and then spent the next three years in dead-end jobs.

I don’t want to be asked about my ‘five year plan’ because I don’t have a one year plan.

I don’t want to be asked ‘tell me about yourself’ cause there’s nothing much to tell.

To answer the questions that concern you most, get real about your obstacles and remove them. Here’s one way to do it:  Write. Write the question that worries you, then write your response and keep writing. Write for five minutes without pausing to think, check, correct, or wonder what someone would think if they read your rambling response. Just keep writing. And there, right there at the end of your five minute marathon is the obstacle and the answer to the question. Take action on it and you’ll have the response you were seeking.

Here’s an example:

“Why are there so many gaps in my resume?”

If you knew what I’ve been going through you wouldn’t ask such a question. Do you think it’s fun to go from job to job, either getting fired or quitting because the people you’re working with are too stupid to recognize your intelligence or you scare the pants off yourself because you’re in a stupid job and you don’t know how to do it? Do you realize how frustrating it is to have this big deal, cost a fortune, four year degree and you’re working at something an idiot could do and you’re the idiot who can’t do it? I’ve got these gaps because I never sat down to figure out what I needed to do. I just believed that as smart as I am everyone would immediately get it and hire me into this great job and when that didn’t happen I lost all my confidence and now I’m back to square one, three years later, after my family thinks I’m a loser because I think I am, despite the fact I won’t admit that to anyone. So how do I get out from under of this load of you know what? I have to sit down with someone smarter than me who gets me and who is wiling to help me work my way out of it. That’s the biggest takeaway I’ve had from this insulting, ridiculous situation: that I’m not as smart as I thought, that other people can help me and I need to ask for that help because I’m finally ready to listen.

I’m there. I know what I have to do. I have my answer.

“There are gaps in my resume because until recently I had not taken the time I needed to figure out the direction I want to take my career. I’m doing that now and here’s what I’ve learned about myself and why I’m interviewing for this job…”

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Remain Focused ~ One Step at a Time

Whether you’re looking for a job or want to hold on to the one you have, keep your attitude in check. It’s not a question of if, it’s when you have a negative attitude it will spill over into negative behavior. That’s a mess you don’t want to have to clean up. Think positively and your behavior will follow suit.

If you’re creeped out where you work because half the population is whispering and the other half is hiding out, do yourself a favor, tune it out, turn it off, and do your job. Focus on what’s in front of you and encourage others to do the same. Take care of yourself but remember some rules still apply: conduct personal business on personal time.

If you’re looking for a job, you need to know what the right one looks like. Combine your strengths with your skills, your likes with your values and you’ll begin to see the where, when, and how you add value.

“Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.” People will treat you as you treat yourself. If you downplay your abilities, understate your attributes, keep your head down, and your voice on mute, others will likely think that you haven’t the will or the want to do more. Speak up, take credit for what’s yours, share credit for the rest, and ask to do more of what you do best.

This is the time to let go and glide. Life might be taking you down corridors you’ve not traveled, to places you’ve not wanted to go, but if you’re flexible and go with the flow you might arrive at destinations far better than those from which you have departed.

Make a job of looking for a job. Shower and dress for your search. Conduct it outside, in the light, with people you know and people they’ll introduce you to. Get away from your computer, get out of your slippers, and take off that ratty robe. You have work to do in networking meetings, with job search groups, and at job fairs.

Turn down the noise and tune out the static. Pay attention to facts, not opinions. Pay attention to actions, not rumors. The more you listen to a cacophony of voices that know less than you but talk as though they know more, the more you’re stuck in the quick sand of stress. Take action.

If you think you’ll lose your job, don’t worry about it, do something about it. Assess your strengths, update your resume and polish up your self esteem.

Pretending that all is well when it’s not, won’t make it so. If you substitute worry for awareness, and distraction for action, you’re an accident waiting to happen. Ask questions and seek counsel from those trained to provide it: Financial Advisors, CPA’s, Career Coaches, Therapists, Social Workers, and Religious Counselors. Take one step, then another, until you regain your sense of equilibrium with the world as it is, not as you fear it might be.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Passing the buck? Don’t Delegate Unpleasantries!

“Everyone wants to shoot the messenger!” says Mary, who’s the messenger for a boss who would rather “not get involved.” Here’s her story. It might have familiar ring:

Mary is a seasoned executive assistant. She’s able to see what needs doing and gets it done. She thinks on her feet, consistently makes good choices, and good decisions. She’s hard working and dedicated to her job; organized, good with details and sees how they connect to the big picture.

She’s professional in demeanor, personable in relationships, articulate and well read. She sounds great and her boss agrees. 

“Hello, I’m Larry, Mary’s boss. Mary’s all that she’s described to be, and more. In fact, she’s so much more, I’m able to delegate everything that I don’t want to do. I don’t like to manage people or things, I like to lead. So, I leave the managing to Mary. What specifically? Performance reviews. It’s tedious and time consuming to write them and unpleasant to conduct them. So I have Mary do them for me. I sign them and she delivers them. I don’t like to meet with direct reports. They like to complain and I don’t want problems, I want solutions. So I ask Mary to listen to their complaints, fix what she can and let the rest go.

I want to do what I’m paid to do, and that’s to be the big picture guy. I’m great at it. I love it. Thank heavens that’s about the only thing that Mary’s not good at doing or I’d have a struggle on my hands.”

“I’m Mary. Larry nailed it. He has me do everything he doesn’t want to do (did he mention shopping for family gifts and canceling dinner engagements?), but I draw the line when it comes to critiquing his direct reports. He once asked me to fire someone for him. I flatly refused, Larry never did it and the person still works here.

Keep in mind, please, that I am his executive assistant, not his executive vice president.  I do not have the title, authority, power, or paycheck to do the things he asks of me. His direct reports look at me as though I’m on some ego trip, giving orders like I’m in charge. I’m caught between a boss who relies on me to do his job and a staff that resents me for doing it.

“I’m Harry, one of Larry’s direct reports and I’d like to weigh in on this discussion. We don’t give Mary respect because we know she’s a stand in for Larry, who doesn’t have the courage to tell us, in person, what we need to know and what we need to hear. We admire his intelligence and his ability to sell our vision and our mission. He has great interpersonal skills when it comes to meeting, greeting, and securing financial support for our worthwhile endeavors. What he lacks is an ability to engage our support. He shuts us out and thinks shoving Mary in our faces makes up for his omissions. He’s wrong and its unfortunate that Mary’s paying the price.”

Mary does what her boss asks because; “I need this job until the market improves. Then I’ll have no choice but to leave and work elsewhere.”

Mary does have choices. Larry wants solutions, not problems. Mary creates a win-win if she can objectively describe the challenge, available options, and her recommendations for resolution. First, she gets Larry in the loop. He’s unaware of the consequences of his actions. Let him know that his subordinates feel shut out of the process; that her intervention makes the situation worse instead of better. If Larry prefers to delegate to her as before, she recommends that he include her on the management team, with the title, authority, and salary commensurate with the position.  Whatever decisions Larry makes, Mary has responded proactively, assertively, and responsibly. She’ll know where she stands and can make better-informed career decisions going forward.

And Larry, if you’re reading this, you have time to turn situations like these around before the economy does the job for you. Change your paradigm and you can change negative outcomes to positive results.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

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