Top

Telling the story a new way: Mother Goose in the workplace

December 20, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

Even the best of friends can drive each other to distraction. Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto, you get the drill. If friendship can’t transcend petty differences, what are co-workers, in recession rocked, pressure packed, deadline driven organizations to do?

If you don’t have the energy to read what business gurus have to say on the subject, and want something a little more soothing, check out some Mother Goose.

For example: Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

Sit back, take a few liberties when you read between the lines, and you might distill a management lesson or two. For starters, let’s look at these opposing attitudes and perspectives:

“Jack, what’s with this “fetch a pail of water” and “up the hill” stuff? We have plenty of water right here so why should we bother? Besides, I’m not thirsty.”

“Trust me, Jill. I’m a strategic kinda’ guy. My instincts tell me this is something we need to do.  Besides, the hike will do you good.”

“Get real, Jack. If you want to climb that hill for water, knock yourself out. It’s a waste of time, I have better things to do, and I’m not the one who needs to take a hike, thank you very much.”

Jack, the boss, persists. Jill, the subordinate, relents. They trudge up the hill, get a pail of water, Jack falls down, breaks his crown, and Jill still insists she didn’t smack him with a bucket.

What’s the real deal? Jack’s instincts tell him what he wants and he goes after it, even if he can’t explain what it is and why it’s important. He likes to work on bigger issues and to develop strategies that accomplish longer term goals. Regrettably, he doesn’t explain his motivations or involve his employees in problem solving. No wonder they get aggravated.

Jill sees herself as a no-nonsense pragmatist. She’ll do what’s requested if it makes sense to her. Jack’s “trust me” attitude leaves her cold. Jack can persist, but whatever cooperation he gets will be against her grain, and he may pay dearly if he insists on doing it his way.

What other business insights can we learn from Mother Goose’s musings? Check this out:

Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean. And between them both, they licked the platter clean.

Yes, Jack and his wife were quite a sight at dinner parties but all had to agree, Jack had developed a system that demonstrated how opposites could work well together. He and the Missus leveraged their opposing strengths by identifying and optimizing them.

Did M. Goose provide other examples? How about…

Hickory, Dickory, Doc. The mouse ran up the clock. The Clock struck twelve, the mouse ran down, Hickory, Dickory, Doc.

It’s just possible that Mother Goose was writing about the demanding medical practice of  Drs. Hickory, Dickory,  and Doc and the tribulations of their office manager, Ms. Mouse:

Ms. Mouse was emotionally and physically exhausted. Despite her many years as office manager she felt she had no future. She wanted more authority and less responsibility. Instead she got more of the latter and less of the former. Always obedient, she did whatever she was told yet never felt appreciated for her efforts. She had gone into office administration hoping to make a difference. She left, believing there was none she could make.

Doctors Hickory and Dickory were surprised to learn of Ms. Mouse’s dissatisfaction and subsequent resignation. They had always assumed she enjoyed a frenetic pace and no life, as did they. “Had she told us, we would have done something for her, like get her orthopedic shoes and support stockings.”

Only Dr. Doc appreciated the challenges that the staff faced and realized his intervention was essential to changing attitudes and behaviors. He held weekly meetings, asking for staff suggestions to streamline operations and improve patient care. He utilized their ideas, valued their input, and told them so. It may have been too late for Ms. Mouse, but office morale improved as did patient satisfaction.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Be a Problem Solver — Not a Problem Maker

November 29, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

She’s intelligent, talented, and fired. This isn’t the first time and might not be the last unless she gets a handle on what’s not working and what is.

What’s working? Plenty. Claire (whose name is fictitious and behavior is real) is independent, self reliant, and self -starting. She thinks fast and talks faster. She’s analytic, organized and a wizard at remembering the details; all of which enable her to nail a problem at 500 paces. It’s what she does with the problem she’s nailed that’s her downfall:

“Who’s responsible? Who’s to blame? Somebody did it, own up!”

Suddenly she’s out of control, screaming, finger pointing, accusing every employee within earshot of conspiracy aimed at ruining her and the company. Once she’s satisfied the culprits have been blamed (if not found) she’s chasing another problem. By the time Claire gets home she’s exhausted. Here’s how she describes her day:

“I find problems and I want whatever’s broken to get fixed. It takes time and money to repeat the same errors, and we don’t have any to waste. What’s the matter with the people who work for this company? No matter how many times I point out the obvious, they either ignore the problem or what I’m telling them. I just don’t understand how they can care so little about their work or their workplace.”

You might wonder, what’s so bad? She’s doing her job, others aren’t, so why is that her problem and why is she getting fired? Ask her employees and they’ll tell you:

Claire’s a human wrecking ball. She thinks she’s great at finding problems? She creates more than she can ever hope to find. Just about everyone who’s left here, left because they’re no longer willing to take her insulting, in your face style. She’s one of those people who takes on too much then gets overwhelmed by the workload she asked for. She never wants help, never delegates anything, never asks for an opinion, and gets angry if you offer one. She’s a piece of work that no one wants to work for.

Claire’s in terminal trouble because she’s taken her strengths and turned them into liabilities. She assumes the worst and is determined to prove it. Her employees don’t respond to her attacks because they’re busy defending themselves. They have to because she doesn’t give them a chance to be part of the solution.

Claire’s an equal opportunity blamer. She treats her boss, peers, and subordinates the same way. She either greets them with a laundry list of what’s broken or bursts into their space with a snarling; “Did you know this was going on?” Whether she’s delivering a pronouncement or asking a question, it all sounds alike: “You idiot! You’ve done it again!”

Claire’s managing a business that’s battered by a wounded economy and a damaged national spirit. Employees need Claire to rally their support and loyalty. Claire’s boss needs her to be a problem solver, not a problem maker. As much as he doesn’t want to fire her, he needs someone who can mend, not tear the fabric of his organization.

Can she do it?

If she has to become someone else to achieve it, she can’t and won’t. Claire doesn’t want to maximize her weaknesses to minimize her strengths. She shouldn’t have to.

Claire needs to let employees be part of the solution. She may be great at finding what’s broken but she hasn’t demonstrated a talent for creating processes that don’t break. Her job is to access the ideas and suggestions of those who work with the system, rather than blame them when the system doesn’t work. They can either tell her how to fix it, or if she gives them the authority, they can fix it themselves.

Bottom line: Claire needs to level the playing field. There’s a trade-off between what she needs and doesn’t know and what other employees know and need. Blaming pushes them and their information away. Her goal may be to maximize company profits by minimizing waste but she’ll never get there if she’s the only one left in the game.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Hearing and Fearing in Today’s Workplace

October 25, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

If the following comments sound familiar, they may be representative of what many people hear or fear, in today’s workplace.

If you want a job here, you’ll do more with less.

You’ll demonstrate and communicate your worth to and for the organization every day you’re on our payroll.

You’ll retain and re-train qualified personnel at no cost to the company.

There are more reasons than space to describe why organizations pare their payrolls and tighten their belts. Bottom line, they want to stay in business and provide incomes for the owners, employees, vendors, and support services that depend on their continuing existence.

Reasons, no matter how prudent and sound, don’t stack up if you’re the one who gets the pink slip. The only good news about your bad news is that you know it’s over and if you want food, clothes, and shelter you’ll find another job.

What happens to layoff survivors? They’re the ones who sort through the aftermath and divide the workload that’s left. They go through the motions realizing that they’re commodities to be bought and sold; they’ll be asked to terminate others; told to do “more with less” and that work isn’t supposed to be fun.

For the past several years, employees were riding high because unemployment was at an all time low. Companies were jumping through all kinds of hoops to woo them, only to lose them to the competitor down the street.  Just showing up became reason for celebration. Suddenly, or so it seems, businesses find themselves back in the ‘80’s when everyone was more mean than lean, and the handwriting on the wall said “like it or leave it”.

In truth, employers don’t like it, they don’t expect that you will, and they don’t want you to leave. If you go, you’ll take knowledge, productivity, and reliability with you. If that isn’t bad enough, it will take time and money to replace you. All are in short supply.

Where does that leave the employer? Hopefully, learning from

experience. The last time the economy shuddered and businesses quaked, employers withdrew from their employees. They shut down communication with the people they needed most and created the workplace of  “what’s in it for me?” Without intending, they gave employees a reason to be cynical.

Employees are more street savvy now. They’re more independent, self reliant, and self-protective. They’ve learned to deal with change, get retrained, and negotiate their worth. They aren’t mad when they leave, they just leave.

You’re the boss. Level with them. Tell them what’s going on, where you want to take the company, the challenges to overcome, and the part you’d like them to play in making it happen. When employees are part of the solution, they’re not part of the problem. They need to hear that you need their intelligence, creativity, and flexibility to be successful.

If layoffs are in the cards, tell them. If you’re not sure, say so. You have an obligation to lead. If you turn around and no one’s following, that’s a strong indication that what you’re doing isn’t working.

If more of the same isn’t the answer, and you don’t know what to do differently, invest your money where there’s a high rate of return: enroll in quality leadership development programs and take your key players with you.

Read what leadership practitioners and gurus write on the subject. (John P. Kotter’s Leading Change; Morrell and Capparell’s Shackleton’s Way ; Buckingham and Coffman’s First Break All the Rules are examples of good reads.)

Create a team of diverse thinkers who can rally around a central vision and mission. Over communicate: say the same thing seven times in seven different ways. Celebrate victories, no matter the size.

Keep it simple, keep it honest, and lead by example.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts conducted seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Question from a reader: How do I deal with petty complainers?

October 4, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

A reader asks:

Q: I enjoy my work but have no tolerance for petty people and this place is filled with them. They constantly complain about each other. What makes it worse is that the department head seems to buy into whatever is being said so now she’s part of the problem. I try to stay out of it but it’s inescapable. I know I need to find a job somewhere else but why should I give up what I enjoy because of their stupid behavior? Should I try to handle the situation or just give up? 
- D.E.

A: Before you give up on your current situation let’s look at what might be fixable right where you are. In order to do that, examine the challenge and separate the issues. 
You’re working with a bunch of squabblers who are creating more negativity than you can reasonably tolerate.

You try to stay out of it.

Your boss has become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

You don’t know whether to stay and ignore it or find work somewhere else. 

Squabblers: Most employees who spend more time arguing with each other than getting the job done want the person in charge to take charge. Everyone’s a bit different. Some people need more structure; others less. Some want to know exactly what the boss expects; others want room to maneuver. Some need attention; others want to be left alone. The chaos occurs in the absence of clear leadership: everyone talks about what they want and no one listens and acts on what they’re saying.

You said that your boss “buys into whatever is being said and now she’s part of the problem”. When a boss takes sides, she’s not leading, she’s following. If she doesn’t clarify organizational and departmental goals, roles, and expectations, her employees operate in a vacuum. In that void, they’ll take their frustrations out on each other, with one or several vying for control.

Some people prefer to find fault and place blame when things are going badly. Others want to stay out of the fray, hoping that avoiding it will somehow make it tolerable. Hopefully, more of your colleagues prefer solutions to problems and would like to get back to work.

If you’re one of the latter and are willing to make an honest effort at leading change, there’s a significant role you can play: Listen to the complainers. I realize their gripes sound petty to you but they’re important to the people making them. Listen for themes in the information you hear. Pay attention to what you see. Call a group meeting. Describe your observations, without judgement. Ask for confirmation where you’re on target and clarification when you’re not. Help the group separate the issues that individuals have with each other from the larger issues the group may have with the boss or the company. Ask for a few volunteers (too many can be overwhelming and nonproductive) to present the group’s concerns to the boss.

Then make an appointment with her. Describe the purpose of the meeting, and ask if she’d like to see a written summary of the ideas the group would like to explore with her. Be sure to include suggestions for solutions the group agrees would benefit everyone: the individuals, the department, and the company. Indicate the group’s desire to work with her and each other in making things right for everyone.

Change takes effort, time, and patience. Everyone, including you, who are involved in the process needs to feel convinced that changing behaviors will result in better outcomes.

Should you leave or should you stay? For the near term, if you have the energy and grit, give the group and their solutions a chance to work. If you’ve given it your best shot and nothing changes, it’s time to look for an environment that better matches who you are and what you need.

Good luck. And let us know how it turns out.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Questions: The Customer is Always…?

September 27, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

Q: How does a retailer, operating a very legitimate business, protect his/her company from misguided customers who are very clearly inappropriate in their demands and yet threaten all types of exposure and legal measures to get their way? Seems to me that this is a form of extortion… the customer isn’t always right!

A: I asked several local retailers their take on the subject and received a variety of responses from them. Here’s a sampling:

“It’s important that the store establish clear return policies, that all sales associates are aware of those policies and that all customers are treated equally. Management has to have back bone and not roll over when dealing with particularly difficult customers.”

Another storeowner suggests that you “find out what the customer really wants, which can be different from what they first tell you. There’s usually room to negotiate. When there’s not, you have to assess your risk. If what you’ll lose is greater than what you’ll gain, fold.”

A reaction that got my attention was the store manager who said, “if I’ve done all that is reasonable and acceptable and the customer begins to threaten me, I call over a sales associate to witnesses and document the encounter. I ask the customer to review the report and sign it as a fair and accurate representation of what has been said, which I then turn over to our company attorney. When the customer sees that strong-arm tactics don’t intimidate me, he or she usually backs off. We have a loyal following of customers who do repeat business with us, so what I’m describing is a highly unusual occurrence. But when it does happen, we’re ready.”

Here are a few responses that take us in a totally different direction:

“If sales and service associates and their managers were to handle the situation better at the outset it wouldn’t escalate to the point that the store owner would have to enter the fray.”

And this from a sales person: “We follow the rules that we’ve been given and don’t give in to customers whose requests are totally out of line. What typically happens is that the customer gets angry and wants to talk to the manager. The manager comes over and gives in. That makes us look bad in the eyes of the customer. No wonder they pitch a fit; they know some higher up is going to give in to them.”

The majority indicated that there has to be give and take on the part of both the retailer and the customer so that each can feel whole, or at least not harmed, as a result of a difficult exchange.

As anyone who works with the public knows, there are a wide variety of customers to serve.  Most are pleasant, honest people who treat others with respect and want the same in return. Some are not so pleasant or honest, and that’s how it goes. If retail sales and service is the job you’ve signed on to do, it’s up to you to figure out how to deal appropriately with all your customers, not just the ones you like.

In all likelihood, you’ll receive training on the basics of the product you sell. If you need more help, ask for it. It’s less likely you’ll be taught the rules of good customer and quality service. Your boss will probably assume you have the good manners and good sense to relate to all customers in ways that are responsible and appropriate.

You’re paid to determine your customer’s needs, to match your product to that need, and to follow through with service that encourages the customer to buy again and often, and to bring friends with money.

Your effectiveness and success is based upon more than product and pricing knowledge. It’s determined by your ability to connect emotionally and intelligently with the customer. To do it all, takes attention and desire. In other words, you’ve got to care. If you don’t, the consuming public would rather you do something else with your professional life.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Question from a reader: What do I do if I’m left hanging?

August 16, 2011 by Editor · Leave a Comment 

Q: It is very frustrating and unprofessional to keep someone “hanging” after an interview and not inform them if they have the job or not. People want to work and want to know if they should continue their search. Over the past year I’ve been on at least two dozen interviews and several firms never informed me as to the status of their selection process. What’s your take on this?

A. Unless you’ve experienced both sides of the interviewer’s table, it’s hard to know what job applicants or hiring managers face when conducting a job search.

Companies can be flooded by responses to advertised positions. Many applicants produce work histories that have no obvious connection to the position posted. That doesn’t mean that people applying couldn’t do the job, but that their resumes don’t make their case for them. So, they are eliminated, often without a company representative writing or calling to say that they will not be considered. Like it or not, that is customary and acceptable.

This reader has gotten through the resume-screening portion of the search. He has landed interviews and has not received status reports from his interviewers. He should have. When a company representative invites an applicant to become a bonafide candidate there is an unwritten but professional expectation that each party will keep the other informed as to the level of interest one has in the other. That’s how it ought to be, but what do you do if the company hasn’t bought, ought?

Candidates who are interested in the job are proactive in advancing their candidacy.

What can they do to get the information they need?

Here are a few strategies that take the offensive without being offensive:

“Mr. Jones, this is Sam Ram. I interviewed with you on June 11th for the position of Senior Accountant. I am very interested in that position and would like an opportunity to speak to you at greater length. I am available Tuesday or Wednesday mornings of next week, at either 7:30 or 8:30 a.m. Which would be the better time for you?”

You stated your interest in the position and your availability for a second interview. There are no guarantees that Mr. Jones will agree to see you but you will get one of a variety of responses: 
“Sam, I’m glad you called. Right after you left our office the boss’s son stopped by and we offered him the job. You know how it goes. Sorry, Sam.”
“Sam, we put that job on hold. Didn’t anyone call you? Our sales aren’t what we hoped for and we’ve frozen all openings for the next quarter.”
“Sam, glad you called. Next Wednesday morning at 7:30 a.m. works for me. See you then.

What if Mr. Jones won’t take or return your calls? You’ve tried all times of the day and night and after several weeks and more than a dozen attempts later you decide to try something different. You send a self addressed stamped postcard with three requests for action: 
Sam, call us to set your next interview.
Sam, we’d like to hire you. Call us to talk specifics.
Sam, you’re a good man but we’re no longer interested in your candidacy.

Ask Mr. Jones or his representative to check the appropriate statement and return the card to you.

Manners, time crunch, and professionalism aside, most employers don’t follow up on interviews for two reasons: 1) they don’t have good news and 2) the recipient isn’t apt to like bad news. If hiring authorities are willing to take applicants’ time and energy to interview, they have an obligation to return the favor with the truth when they know it, straight up and without hesitation.

Candidates: if several weeks pass without response to your interview or follow-up calls, assume that the opportunity no longer exists. Their silence says more about how they do business than you ever wanted to know. Let it go and find something better.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

The Straw that Broke…

August 9, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

I’m getting used to calls about workplace stress. What’s gotten my attention lately are all the calls about workplace abuse.

American business and industry are known for having more workplace stress, abuse, and violence than our counterparts in other developed nations. The simple explanation is that we are more competitive, entrepreneurial, and bottom line. We seem to like that. Not that we are violent,  but that we are competitive. Stress is the norm.

Add to that mix, our recent and increasing drive to do it all faster, with fewer people, so that we can make more money. Little wonder that stress, the feeling, has turned into abuse, the behavior.

What does it look and sound like? Probably like home, on a really bad day. Gone are the company manners, and replacing them are the screamers and tantrum throwers.

What happens next depends on the organization. In some, the “disgruntled” are removed quickly and quietly, never to be spoken of again. Sometimes the abuser becomes the scapegoat and is shunned. Sometimes they are ignored or tolerated. On occasion, abuse turns violent, and becomes the lead story on the 6 o’clock news.

What’s acceptable anger and what’s abusive behavior? The answer lies in degrees.

You all have those days when nothing goes right, inside or outside the office, and your defense mechanisms jam. You lose it,  expletives flying and steam released, until you can collect yourself  and return to your regular programming.

If it happens once in a great while and you’re otherwise considered a great performer, all is forgiven. They call you “human” and “normal”; like they know. That’s acceptable.

If you are typically over the top, allowing your frustrations and impatience to spew all over the office and splatter its human contents, you are uniformly considered a jerk, and worse. That’s abusive and unacceptable.

What should you do when someone loses it all over you? Don’t jump in the mix with them. It doesn’t make sense to argue with or attempt to mollify someone who’s acting out. Give the person space and time to work it off. Their temper is typically self directed or situation directed, and not directed at you. Go about your business.  Obviously, if  they are threatening themselves or others, get help immediately.  If they are abusive, let your management know. Abusive behavior is dysfunctional and unacceptable in a public workplace.

Abusive behavior is unacceptable for more reasons than the discomfort that it creates. When these excesses are tolerated, there is  higher absenteeism and increased turnover. Employee safety,  company security, and product quality are affected. And if  you’re sensitive to the bottom line, that hurts.

Before you wrap this up and put it away, what are you treating; the symptoms or the cause? Are abusive employees, who have managed to get you angry, distracting you from recognizing the systemic workplace problems that are at issue?

If you will objectively listen to what they’re saying instead of how they’re saying it you’ll have a chance to solve both problems.

In the 1990′s, W. Edwards Deming boosted business recovery when he incorporated the principles of Total Quality Control into American factories and government. When these principles were systematically practiced and the standards of workplace behavior were changed from negative to positive, the resulting  behaviors changed accordingly.

Make it easy to remember:

Break the code of silence and confront abusive behaviors.

Involve employees in decisions that affect them.

Resolve employee issues rather than avoid them.

Replace employee fear with trust.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

More than Techniques

August 2, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

I’ve written posts dedicated to the trials and tribulations of introverted employees who recognize their own potential while realizing that others don’t. I have described described techniques that the more quiet among us can use should they wish to become more visible, viable, and recognized members of the work community.

I’ve received some feedback: Many people don’t like “techniques”. They have an aversion to behaving in ways that are contrary to how they see themselves. They would rather remain true to their nature than to be seen as superficial, at best, and phony, at worst.

If that’s a concern of yours, and you’d rather not change yourself into a copy of someone else, let’s work with your strengths and ways to leverage them:

Most introverts don’t just listen; they have the natural capacity to listen deeply. They don’t take some information in, they take it all in. They stir it around, shove it here and poke it there. They don’t let go of the content or the intent until they have made sense of it. They connect it to information that arrived earlier and what they’ll take in later. They make sense of what they hear, and when invited, can present the abridged version of it, to those requesting their insights.

Introverts have the ability to contribute in significant ways to the process and progress of meetings. They take the varied comments that others make, assimilate, then aggregate them into a coherent whole. When they speak, they summarize what’s been said, without hyperbole. They connect the dots without having to control the dots.

Introverts, when working one on one, excel at providing feedback regarding the information their talking partner has just provided. They react in ways that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues than might otherwise be expected.

Anyone who chooses can maximize the introverts’ listening strength by 1. Invitation 2. Realization. 3. Presentation.

Invitation: Ask questions and give introverts sufficient time to respond. Introverts prefer to think before speaking, which necessitates pausing before they begin. If extroverts (who are more apt to speak before thinking) jump into the pause, the introvert will hold back. They’ll return to assimilating, editing, and silently testing the receptivity of the listener. So if you invite their thoughts, mean it, and listen to what they have to say.

Realization: Most introverts aren’t willing to compete for airtime against the more verbally aggressive and loquacious extroverts. They wait for an invitation to speak, an invitation they’re not apt to get. Why don’t they? Because they’re the quietest people in the room. How are others to know of their deep listening skills, their wit and wisdom? The likelihood of being asked an opinion, when not making an effort to offer one, is slim to none.

Presentation: Introverts don’t have much experience making presentations. When they must, they second-guess the phrasing, tonality, even banality of their expression. They seldom speak outside a select audience (close family, close friends), so they can be distracted by the sounds their voices make in a suddenly silent room. It isn’t surprising that as self critical as they are, they prefer to say less, not more. That’s everyone’s loss. It’s not that introverts are more or less intelligent, they just think longer and harder about what they hear and what they want to say.

Introverts: Bottom line, it’s going to take more energy than what you are currently expending to get your strengths out where the world (or your boss) can see them. You have more to offer than others realize. Provide them the visible and audible substance they need to determine that you not only have potential but also have the courage to act on it.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.


Anything Can Take You Off Course

July 19, 2011 by Joyce Richman · Leave a Comment 

A client  shared this childhood experience with me and described the  impact that it’s had on her life and career. She said I could share it with you. The only thing I’ve changed are the names…

“Momma loved to get into her car and drive wide open. Only problem was she’d fall asleep at the wheel. She’d sleep anywhere she’d put herself and she was more apt to put herself at the wheel than anywhere else.”

Momma had narcolepsy and Sally was the designated child to keep her alive. Sally was the fourth of four, didn’t have a daddy, and was the one most likely to do anything she and her momma set their minds to doing. She was, hands down, her mother’s favorite.

Little wonder that when momma had just about enough of the round eyed “huh-us? “ of her three other children, she’d take off to the garage and back out the old Plymouth. Grinding gears and dialing up the radio, she’d start yelling for Sally to jump in quick.

Sally learned to run real fast when she’d hear the screen door slam and momma halloo to her. Momma wanted to get out in the cool night air, driving 80 miles an hour on country roads and hairpin curves, before she’d fall asleep again.

“Saaaallllllyyyyyy!!!” she’d be hollering. “Keep your blessed mother awake. Talk to me child, talk to me loud!”

Sally would bounce on her haunches, ears set up high like a terrier’s, talking and laughing and singing at the top of her lungs. She was having another electric evening with momma, keeping her awake at the wheel while they’d fly into the night. While they’d fly by the stars.

That was a long time ago. Now, Sally’s the grown up vice president of sales and marketing for a large consumer goods manufacturer, and the acknowledged right hand to a smart as a whip entrepreneur who doubles as a president and change agent.

He values Sally’s ability to know what he wants before he wants it, her ability to take risk and maintain a sense of balance amidst the chaos and ambivalence that risk creates. Above all, he values her ability to inhale his frenetic energy and exhale calm and confidence. Their combination is unbeatable.

For years recruiters have plied her with opportunities to lead companies; they implore her to “just talk with the search committee. Listen to what they’re telling you, Sally. You can do this! The sky’s the limit for you.”

She’ll have none of it. She knows who she is and what she does best. She’s not about to jump, untethered, into a career abyss. She knows what she brings to the table and is well compensated for it. Her career has taken off like her mother’s Plymouth and she’s not about to crash into Old Man Peabody’s store.

Mr. Peabody ran the general store at Cooper’s Crossing.  He was an ornery old coot and there wasn’t a soul in town who wanted to get around him. He probably never slept ‘cause you could see him, day or night, leaning on the counter next to the cash register, staring at nothing in particular. That was until the night momma flew into his store. Or crashed into it; depending on your perspective.

Sally and momma had taken off on one of their hair-raising rides through the countryside. Momma seemed different that night; she was calmer and drove like most other folks. The radio was turned down low, and somebody was singing something soft and sweet. Lulled by the near gentleness of the ride, Sally took her eyes off momma, and off the road ahead, and fell asleep.

It was then, or a second later, that they landed smack on top of the general store. Lucky for Mr. Peabody, he glimpsed momma and me and the car coming. That was just before it came to rest on the other side of the cash register.

He took a liking to momma, who took a liking to him, which kept her out of trouble, and Sally got to finish growing up. Years would pass before she’d realize how profound the experience was and how large a part it played in how she lived her life.

Sally’s willing to take the necessary risks when the goal feels right and the people wanting it are worth the challenge. What she learned from growing up with her mother was to anticipate: anything can take you off course.

She’s learned to evaluate, on the fly when necessary, that sometimes you have to take control away from those people who can destroy more than what looks like a summer night’s drive to the moon.

That’s what Sally does, and her boss trusts her to do it well.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Not a Laughing Matter

July 12, 2011 by Editor · Leave a Comment 

If you have to think if  your joke is appropriate, it’s not. If you hesitate before lambasting a colleague, don’t. If you stop, however briefly, to determine the correctness of your comment, that’s reason enough to move it from the top of your agenda and the tip of your tongue. Study your action under cooler circumstances.

Company leaders familiar with personnel law and risk management are putting their employees on alert. Co-workers, already stressed with the “too much to do and no time to do it” syndrome, haven’t the energy or patience to tolerate abusive comments, raunchy jokes, and questionable language. Employees who feel harassed are threatening legal recourse in increasing numbers and companies that don’t want to appear on the court docket (or in the court of public opinion) know they mean business. Pun intended.

Why does bad behavior get a blind eye?

I had a client, a senior executive, sent to me for “corrective action.” His problem? He ogled women. He ogled women in elevators, in restaurants, in business meetings. He ogled his eyeballs out. No one took action until he visually groped the wrong woman (correction, the right woman) who reported his behavior to human resources and sent  copies of her complaint to the corporate attorney and the Chairman of the Board. As they attempted to placate the offended, they remanded the ogler to me.

He was angry.  He felt blindsided and railroaded. He resented that he was nailed as the bad guy. “They’re all part of it!” he exploded. “Everyone of them!”

What’s his story?

“Sure I do it,” he said. “And all the guys here love it. They laugh, they hoot, they cheer me on. As soon as I get caught, they run for cover,  screaming ‘blame him’, then sanctimoniously offer prayers for my redemption. No one ever said, “you’re out of line” until the legal department got hold of it.”

Was he telling the truth? I checked. He was. This guy had been acting that way for all the years he had been employed with the company. It bothered some, it didn’t bother others, and most said they either didn’t notice and if they did, they didn’t care. He was a heavy hitter. He made a lot of money for the company and everyone profited from his being there. No one gave him fair warning.

No wonder he was screaming foul. Does that give him a pass? No. He was wrong. His boss was wrong and his colleagues were wrong. Someone needed to step up and straighten this guy out. No one did.

Take a look around. If you’re working with people who cross the line in how they act or or what they say, do them a favor and do it now. Tell them that it makes youuncomfortable.  If they don’t want to hear about it, let them know that you’re taking it up the line.

Don’t wait. Whether you’re the target or the observer, take action before the behavior escalates to a consequence no one can back away from.

How do you know what’s out of bounds?

Is the joke at someone’s expense? Does the humor, no matter how foot-stomping, scapegoat someone? Is the behavior intimidating, humiliating, harassing, to someone?

Some people revel in over the top candor. “I tell it like it is, whether people like it or not!” For what purpose? Is the outcome they seek undone by the manner in which they seek it?

There was a time that companies and co-workers tolerated behavior that should never have been allowed. That time has gone. And the people who are doing it are going with it.

 

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Next Page »

Bottom