A client  shared this childhood experience with me and described the  impact that it’s had on her life and career. She said I could share it with you. The only thing I’ve changed are the names…

“Momma loved to get into her car and drive wide open. Only problem was she’d fall asleep at the wheel. She’d sleep anywhere she’d put herself and she was more apt to put herself at the wheel than anywhere else.”

Momma had narcolepsy and Sally was the designated child to keep her alive. Sally was the fourth of four, didn’t have a daddy, and was the one most likely to do anything she and her momma set their minds to doing. She was, hands down, her mother’s favorite.

Little wonder that when momma had just about enough of the round eyed “huh-us? “ of her three other children, she’d take off to the garage and back out the old Plymouth. Grinding gears and dialing up the radio, she’d start yelling for Sally to jump in quick.

Sally learned to run real fast when she’d hear the screen door slam and momma halloo to her. Momma wanted to get out in the cool night air, driving 80 miles an hour on country roads and hairpin curves, before she’d fall asleep again.

“Saaaallllllyyyyyy!!!” she’d be hollering. “Keep your blessed mother awake. Talk to me child, talk to me loud!”

Sally would bounce on her haunches, ears set up high like a terrier’s, talking and laughing and singing at the top of her lungs. She was having another electric evening with momma, keeping her awake at the wheel while they’d fly into the night. While they’d fly by the stars.

That was a long time ago. Now, Sally’s the grown up vice president of sales and marketing for a large consumer goods manufacturer, and the acknowledged right hand to a smart as a whip entrepreneur who doubles as a president and change agent.

He values Sally’s ability to know what he wants before he wants it, her ability to take risk and maintain a sense of balance amidst the chaos and ambivalence that risk creates. Above all, he values her ability to inhale his frenetic energy and exhale calm and confidence. Their combination is unbeatable.

For years recruiters have plied her with opportunities to lead companies; they implore her to “just talk with the search committee. Listen to what they’re telling you, Sally. You can do this! The sky’s the limit for you.”

She’ll have none of it. She knows who she is and what she does best. She’s not about to jump, untethered, into a career abyss. She knows what she brings to the table and is well compensated for it. Her career has taken off like her mother’s Plymouth and she’s not about to crash into Old Man Peabody’s store.

Mr. Peabody ran the general store at Cooper’s Crossing.  He was an ornery old coot and there wasn’t a soul in town who wanted to get around him. He probably never slept ‘cause you could see him, day or night, leaning on the counter next to the cash register, staring at nothing in particular. That was until the night momma flew into his store. Or crashed into it; depending on your perspective.

Sally and momma had taken off on one of their hair-raising rides through the countryside. Momma seemed different that night; she was calmer and drove like most other folks. The radio was turned down low, and somebody was singing something soft and sweet. Lulled by the near gentleness of the ride, Sally took her eyes off momma, and off the road ahead, and fell asleep.

It was then, or a second later, that they landed smack on top of the general store. Lucky for Mr. Peabody, he glimpsed momma and me and the car coming. That was just before it came to rest on the other side of the cash register.

He took a liking to momma, who took a liking to him, which kept her out of trouble, and Sally got to finish growing up. Years would pass before she’d realize how profound the experience was and how large a part it played in how she lived her life.

Sally’s willing to take the necessary risks when the goal feels right and the people wanting it are worth the challenge. What she learned from growing up with her mother was to anticipate: anything can take you off course.

She’s learned to evaluate, on the fly when necessary, that sometimes you have to take control away from those people who can destroy more than what looks like a summer night’s drive to the moon.

That’s what Sally does, and her boss trusts her to do it well.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

If you have to think if  your joke is appropriate, it’s not. If you hesitate before lambasting a colleague, don’t. If you stop, however briefly, to determine the correctness of your comment, that’s reason enough to move it from the top of your agenda and the tip of your tongue. Study your action under cooler circumstances.

Company leaders familiar with personnel law and risk management are putting their employees on alert. Co-workers, already stressed with the “too much to do and no time to do it” syndrome, haven’t the energy or patience to tolerate abusive comments, raunchy jokes, and questionable language. Employees who feel harassed are threatening legal recourse in increasing numbers and companies that don’t want to appear on the court docket (or in the court of public opinion) know they mean business. Pun intended.

Why does bad behavior get a blind eye?

I had a client, a senior executive, sent to me for “corrective action.” His problem? He ogled women. He ogled women in elevators, in restaurants, in business meetings. He ogled his eyeballs out. No one took action until he visually groped the wrong woman (correction, the right woman) who reported his behavior to human resources and sent  copies of her complaint to the corporate attorney and the Chairman of the Board. As they attempted to placate the offended, they remanded the ogler to me.

He was angry.  He felt blindsided and railroaded. He resented that he was nailed as the bad guy. “They’re all part of it!” he exploded. “Everyone of them!”

What’s his story?

“Sure I do it,” he said. “And all the guys here love it. They laugh, they hoot, they cheer me on. As soon as I get caught, they run for cover,  screaming ‘blame him’, then sanctimoniously offer prayers for my redemption. No one ever said, “you’re out of line” until the legal department got hold of it.”

Was he telling the truth? I checked. He was. This guy had been acting that way for all the years he had been employed with the company. It bothered some, it didn’t bother others, and most said they either didn’t notice and if they did, they didn’t care. He was a heavy hitter. He made a lot of money for the company and everyone profited from his being there. No one gave him fair warning.

No wonder he was screaming foul. Does that give him a pass? No. He was wrong. His boss was wrong and his colleagues were wrong. Someone needed to step up and straighten this guy out. No one did.

Take a look around. If you’re working with people who cross the line in how they act or or what they say, do them a favor and do it now. Tell them that it makes youuncomfortable.  If they don’t want to hear about it, let them know that you’re taking it up the line.

Don’t wait. Whether you’re the target or the observer, take action before the behavior escalates to a consequence no one can back away from.

How do you know what’s out of bounds?

Is the joke at someone’s expense? Does the humor, no matter how foot-stomping, scapegoat someone? Is the behavior intimidating, humiliating, harassing, to someone?

Some people revel in over the top candor. “I tell it like it is, whether people like it or not!” For what purpose? Is the outcome they seek undone by the manner in which they seek it?

There was a time that companies and co-workers tolerated behavior that should never have been allowed. That time has gone. And the people who are doing it are going with it.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Screaming toddlers are banging on pots, demanding attention while their harried mothers and frazzled fathers yell in their phones and hunch over their desks, desperate to complete what looks like their job. Distraction controls. Chaos reigns. Nothing of value gets done. The banging gets louder and no one can listen because no one can hear.

This manager is done. “I am so over it, I just don’t care.”

She’s so tired of the back biting, gossip spreading, over the top and under the table squabbling of her employees that she’s ready to throw in the towel. She’s not leaving her job. She’s leaving her employees.

“All they do is complain about each other. I’ve told them again and again, “”I don’t want to hear about it. You fight it out between yourselves. Don’t come to me with this stuff anymore. I’ve had it with all of you!”

She says they keep yammering, like they don’t hear what she’s telling them.

She’s right, they don’t. And probably for reasons that are different than she might think.

They don’t hear her because they don’t believe she’s listening to what they’re telling her. They’re asking questions and not getting answers. They need more and are getting less. The more noise they make, the more anxious they become about something they need and aren’t getting.

Typically, employees want to know the basics: what does the boss expect, when does she expect it, and what should it look like when it’s done?

Once the basics are satisfied, the questions answered, other issues and needs can emerge:

I’m working as hard as I can, and I don’t feel that I’m getting the  recognition I deserve. When no one tells me how I’m doing, I get unsure of myself. What if my work isn’t what they expect? What if I’m not as good as I’m supposed to be? what if I lose my job?

When change is in charge, employees feel pulled from every direction. Each message they get sounds more pressing than whatever preceded it. If employees feel that the company’s compass is spinning out of control, they get real concerned and say so.

Ignoring complainers and complaints won’t result in making them go away. People and problems become increasingly complex and testy the longer they are neglected. What can start as concern and uncertainty can escalate to all out conflict.

Conflict. What can you do about it?  Avoid it?  Accommodate it? Personalize it?  Get combative, aggressive, and nasty about it?

Face it. Lower the volume, yours and theirs. Listen to reasons for concern before solving problems you don’t fully understand. Identify the impact of concerns and consequences of the impact. Separate the problem from the person speaking or the people being spoken about. Focus on the problem.

Ask open ended questions and exercise patience. It takes time and effort to listen when responses sound emotional, blaming, antagonistic. Allow the speaker full opportunity to vent. Confirm your understanding of what is being said by rephrasing. Proceed when your take is confirmed as accurate. Tone down the conflict by identifying common interests. Stay away from fixed positions (what you and I need) and focus on concerns (why you and I need it). If you can satisfy a concern you can usually satisfy a position.

Most conflicts are borne out of needs that people share and fear will be lost: recognition, affirmation, security, control, a need to belong and be well.

If your employees are spending more time making more noise than they are creating and producing, there’s a reason.  Find out why, what they need, and how you can work out a solution, together.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A recent reprint of an archived Ann Landers column from 2000 is just as relevant today as it was when it was first printed. It was practically on fire with letters from customers who were fed up with the attitude of retail clerks.

I was struck by the irony of what these letter writers were saying:

“If you don’t like people and consider them an interruption or a nuisance, go find another job.”

“Within driving distance of your store, there are five stores that carry the same items. If I am treated well, I’ll be back to see you. If you want me to come back, you will thank me for coming in and make me feel welcome.”

What’s the irony? The words they chose are almost identical to those I hear unhappy retail associates use to describe their bosses:

“If they don’t like to manage employees, and consider them an interruption or a nuisance, they shouldn’t be doing that job.”

“If they’d treat me well, if they made me feel welcome, and showed a little appreciation once in a while I’d want to work for them.”

And then there are the customers. Most are likeable and agreeable, just like most managers and associates, while others are ready to do battle over just about anything.

Some customers are somewhere in the middle. They just want to make a purchase and go home, unscathed from the experience.

Suit up, kids, we’re going shopping. Fly cover for me when I go into the department store and I’ll protect you on the ground at the toy store.

Yes, we know. People are stressed out and sleep deprived and that’s why they’re irritable. But is that reason enough to justify incivility or are they just excuses for uncivilized behavior?

Rude bosses, customers, and employees are so busy jabbing fingers at each other, someone’s bound to get stuck in the eye. Each group is competing for “most ugly” and it’s a toss up as to who’s going to win.

Before we rush to judgment, let’s put this into perspective. The Pareto Principle states that A small number of causes is responsible for a large percentage of the effect… usually a 20 percent to 80 percent ratio.

With that in mind, let’s address 20% of the managers who are creating 80% of this mess.

Managers: Some people are relationship managers, and others are not. It sounds like you’re part of the “not” population. You can learn how to do it right but it takes more than one training class and reading one book. It takes a commitment to doing the right thing for people, every day.

If you don’t have the energy or desire to manage with courtesy and consideration, please stand down.

Sales associates: Same song. Second verse. You’re in the relationship business, not the jewelry, men’s wear, or grocery selling business. If you take the time to understand your products and meet the needs of your customers, in a respectful manner that encourages them to return to do business with you and your company, you’ve done your job. If you don’t and you won’t, you’re in the wrong line of work. Your negative attitude shows and its generating much of the negative response you’re getting.

Customers: No matter the size of your purchasing power, that power alone does not justify your rude or arrogant behavior. No matter the rush you are in or your position in the community, the office, or your home, it doesn’t justify your push to the front or brusqueness from the rear.

Twenty percent. That’s all it takes to create chaos and hostility among the eighty percent on the receiving end of your bluster.

Eighty percent. Good for you. As managers, associates, and customers you do us proud. Keep it up and encourage the rest to step up or step out of line. All that shoving and poking is giving the rest of us a collective black eye.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Aana is  nine years old and bright. Really bright. I was interviewing her for a book chapter I’m writing about youngsters and their ideas about work and the workplace. She eased right  into our conversation and jumped at a chance to give me a crash course on Star Wars characters and the relative merits of becoming a Jedi Warrior. (She’s seriously considering the latter as a career choice. I was impressed.)

We made a deal. Once our interview began in earnest, Aana could call the shots: she could stop whenever she wanted,  and ask me whatever questions occurred to her. If she didn’t like a question I asked, she could tell me so, and answer it only if she wanted.

We cruised along for a while with Aana describing her hobbies and best field trips ever and what she cared about and why. She told me about school and her favorite teachers and her best subjects and then we hit “that moment”.  Aana’s  mom, who was sitting with us, got the nod from her daughter, and respectfully left the room, giving Aana space to speak  privately.

Aana had asked her mother to leave when I asked what moms and dads need to think about before advising their children about careers. She was immediate and emphatic in her response.

“It’s OK for them to  pay attention to what their kids like doing, but not stop them from doing something or get upset when they stop doing it. They need to just stay loose. Parents worry too much. They need to go with the flow. “

I asked for some explanation, some illustration of what she meant.

“Like if  you are collecting Beanie Babies and then you stop. It should be OK to stop because you’re finished doing it. It doesn’t mean something is wrong or that  you shouldn’t have started to collect them. It just means that’s all you want to do it. You’re ready to do something else.”

“They just worry too much,” she said, still on a roll. ”They worry too much about stuff they shouldn’t worry about and don’t worry enough about the stuff they ought to worry about.”

“What should they worry about?” I asked.

“About being a family. Being a family is more important than having a job.”

I asked how she knew.

“Because, ” she said, “I’m a kid. Kids know these things better than parents do.”

“How can kids know better than their parents?” I wondered aloud.

“‘Because we see it from the inside. They see it from the outside.”

“What shouldn’t they worry about?” I asked.

“They shouldn’t  worry about what their kids should be when they grow up. Their kids are going to be just fine.”

I’ve given a lot of thought to that conversation with Aana, when I was once again reminded that  we grown-ups need to talk less and listen more. And that we do worry more than we need, about things that will sort themselves out,  if we will just get out of  the way long enough to let it happen. When Aana said that being a family is more important than having a job, I knew that she hit the epicenter of every working parent’s concern. Moms and dads, whether living together or apart, worry about their family’s well being. They worry if they can possibly provide enough, teach enough, and care enough to make their children safe enough.

“Parents worry too much. They should go with the flow. We see it from the inside.”

Worry knits your brow and grinds your teeth. It  tightens your voice and tenses your stomach and makes you sound like someone you aren’t.  Worry keeps you from being a family, because someone who looks like you, is taking your place and sucking the joy out of  your life. What does any of  this have to do with this column and your career? Everything, if wherever you are, you are worrying about where you aren’t. Everything, if you believe you have the power to keep all bad things from happening, at home and at work. Everything, if  worrying  keeps the best there is about you a secret, from those who care about you and rely upon you, most. By the way, when Aana left that day, she asked me to tell her mom what she had told me.

And that’s why I’m telling you.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A recent letter writer suggested that employees, the newly hired and the barely there,  would benefit from understanding that employers have some very basic expectations of them.

I heartily agree.

In fact, here’s one boss’s secret copy of Here’s What I Didn’t Tell You Because I Thought You Knew.

• This place is called “Work”
• Get to work earlier than on time (and that’s based on my watch, not yours).
• Get to work earlier than on time every day (based on my calendar, not yours.)
• Get to work prepared to do our work (which doesn’t include doing your personal bookkeeping; shopping; and arranging of your social calendar).
• Make and receive personal telephone calls at a place not called “Work”.
• If you’re the first one out the door at the end of the day, you’re leaving here too early. If  you’re the second one out the door, you’re still leaving too early. If you keep it up, don’t let the door hit you on your way out.
• Wear clean, closely woven, free of slogan clothing not so baggy as to hide large animals nor so brief as to reveal more than any of us need to know about you.
• Do the job I hired you to do.
• Leave people alone to do the jobs I hired them to do.
• If you take something, put it back (here, not where you live).
• If you ask for something, say please.
• If you are lucky enough to get it, say thank you.
• If you make a mess, clean it up.
• If you make a mistake, take care of it.
• I’ll give you a raise if you follow through, follow the rules, follow me and you’ll get it  when I say so.
• I’ll give you a promotion  if  you do everything on this list,  get along with everybody especially me and you’ll get it  when I say so.

This couldn’t be your boss? Well, check out another boss’s misplaced version of Here’s What I Didn’t Tell You Because I Thought You Knew.

• I don’t care what time you get here or what time you leave, just get the job done, on time and accurately.
• The job has more to it than I told you, because I forgot to tell you at the time.  So watch out, I’m going to critique you for what you didn’t do because I didn’t tell you. And, don’t go there. I’m not going to change.
• Anticipate. That’s what I want from you. Think ahead. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong unless you have a plan to make it right.
• Come to me with solutions. I’m not paying you for problems. I get them for free.
• I’m not going to say you’re doing a good job. I expect you to do a good job.
• I’ll tell you when you’re doing a bad job. I’ll only tell you once. So listen.
• Don’t ask me for pay increases or promotions. You’ll just put me in a bad mood. I’ll give you what I think you deserve. Just get the job done.
• I am moody. It doesn’t (usually) have anything to do with you. Don’t worry about it. I worry enough for both of us.

I haven’t tagged your boss yet? Well, I rummaged around and guess what I found. Yet another undisclosed version of Here’s What I Didn’t Tell You Because I Thought You Knew.

• Play nice.
• If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it. I don’t want to know.
• If you have a problem with me, talk to someone else about it. I don’t want to know.
• You may have guessed by now, I don’t like problems.
• So, please, play nice.

The bottom line is this: There are as many expectations of employees as there are different managing and leadership styles. You don’t get to choose. You work with what you get. If you are equal parts observant, clairvoyant, savvy and responsive to the culture where you work and have as much substance as you have style, you’re going to make it.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

This is it, plain and simple: As a supervisor, manager, or business owner, your job is to direct the work of others, not to do their work for them. In order to achieve that in a timely and efficient manner, it’s your job to communicate your expectations in ways they understand.

If your employees are unclear about the assignment or the manner in which you want it done, they’ll do one of three things: figure it out and do it right; figure it out and do it wrong; wait until you figure out that they didn’t figure it out.

Then you’ll do one of three things: Give another assignment to the one who did it right; tell the one who did it wrong to do it again; tell the one who didn’t do anything to get it done.

The one who got it right the first time will get it right the second time. The one who did it wrong will get a second chance to do it wrong. The one who didn’t do anything won’t do anything.

Then you’ll do one of three things: You’ll give three more jobs to the one who did it right. You’ll yell at the one who’s done it wrong twice. You’ll ask the one who didn’t do anything to run a few errands and get you some coffee.

Before you know it, six months will have passed. The one who gets it right is doing the work of both the one who does it wrong and the one who doesn’t do anything but run a few errands and get you coffee.

By the end of the year, the one who gets it right has joined the competition. They’ve given him a big  promotion and a salary increase. The one who gets it wrong has posted for a transfer and accused you of verbal harassment.  The one who doesn’t do anything but run errands has opened a messenger service and has signed a lucrative contract with your company.

If you tell employees more than they need or want to know, they feel micro managed. If you tell them less, they think you’ve set them up to fail.  Your challenge is in knowing who needs how much of what.

How do you manage that?

Ask. Don’t tell. Ask people what they need before telling them what you think they ought to know. Individuals intake and process information differently. For example:

You’re a big picture person. You describe your expectations in vague yet optimistic language.

“There’s nothing to getting this job done. Just take a whack at it. Piece of cake!”

If the person you’re addressing is, like you, a big picture optimist, he’s off and running, confident in his ability to get the job done. What can go wrong? what you get isn’t what you envisioned it would be, and you say so. The employee is frustrated that you’ve not been more clear.

Same story. You’ve described an assignment in vague and minimal terms. The person you’re talking to needs details, a starting point, steps along the way. You brush the request aside as unimportant. What will you get in return? Little to nothing. Not knowing where to start, nothing gets done. The employee is discouraged about her ability to be successful in the job.

Change scenario.

You are a manager who is very clear about your expectations and precise about how you want the job done. You spell out each step in detail, leaving no room for guesswork. You’ve had problems in the past so you point out the pitfalls of the assignment. What can happen? Mixed bag. If the employee is hungry for what you’ve provided, you’ll get what you wanted. If the employee is creative, she’ll feel stifled by your restrictions. She’ll either do it her way, which won’t be your way, or she’ll get involved in another project that gives her what she wants.

There’s no way you’ll know what’s best for employees unless you ask them. If what they need is different from what you like to deliver, find a place that satisfies everyone. That will only come when you are willing to include their thinking in your resolution.

Bottom line, you want employees who will get the job done and stay around long enough to contribute to the company in significant ways. If they do it right, you’re doing it right, and if all of you like what you do, and your boss does too, you’ll all get to stay around.

And that’s it, plain and simple.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com