Rejoining Your Life After an Unexpected Layoff

I bet you know him. He goes to work early and stays late. He’s known as a company man. He’s dedicated, loyal, with a work ethic that challenges the most diligent. His only fear is failing health even though he’s never taken a sick day. (He’s never had a day that he stayed out sick. He’s had several sick days.)

He’s just been laid off and never saw it coming.

He was starting to think about retirement. Not that he wanted to, but he was losing his edge; slower than he liked, more forgetful, less enthusiastic. It took energy to be enthusiastic. He’d need to save his energy for nights that he worked late.

Retirement’s gone. He’s been laid off. Now he needs to get a job.

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If this sounds familiar, it is, and you’re not alone. The good news is, you can get your bearings, you can figure this out if you use your time and energy wisely and think differently than you have before. To get the next job you’ll need to connect with people you haven’t paid attention to in a very long while.

Rejoin your family. You need them to welcome you home. You’ll need to be as vital to them as you’ll soon find they are to you. You’ll want to have a place to be and a role to play. You’ll need to be a wise listener; an empowering husband, and an encouraging father. You want to learn about their life’s lessons, their struggles, and their successes so they’ll want to care about yours.

Take your time and stay the course. It won’t happen overnight. You worked your way out of their lives, you’ll have to earn your way back in, one day at a time.

Rejoin your community. Learn how to connect so you’ll know where to contribute. When you combine who you naturally are, with what you inherently do, and where that combination is needed most, and you give fully of yourself, you will get more in return than you can possibly anticipate.

Expand your thinking. When is the last time you read a book because you wanted to? If it’s been a long time (or you’ve never been a reader) you’re in for quite a surprise. There’s a world of information waiting for you. Explore and experience learning where other people go to learn. Go to the library, go back to school, go to a play, go to concert, google.

Take care of your heart, your head and your feet. If you’ve avoided check-ups because doctors tell you what you don’t want to hear, check-in. Tell them you’re ready to listen. And if they say it’s OK, lace up your shoes and take a brisk walk. Walk alongside babies in strollers, and dogs on leashes. Wave at children on swings and families on cookouts.

There are extraordinary ordinary people in this world who are ready and willing to assist you in your job search if you will let them know that they are important to you. Not because of what they do, but because of who they are.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Don’t Just Work Hard and Be Smart: Work Smart!

Carolyn (not her real name) comes to work tied up in knots and goes home the same way. She’s worried that she won’t have enough time to get her job done. She’s worried that someone will ask her a question that she can’t answer. She’s worried that she’ll never be as smart as she needs to be.

If Carolyn were the only victim of her angst, that would be difficult enough. But she isn’t. Everyone who comes into contact with her is affected:

• Her boss. Carolyn is temperamental, so he treats her with kid gloves. No matter how careful he is when making a request, asking questions or providing feedback, he ends up feeling like the heavy. He doesn’t like the feeling.
• Her peers. Carolyn insists on working in a quiet space. If they talk loudly, she looks angry. If they whisper to not distract her, she looks suspicious. They feel like they have to tiptoe around her. They don’t like the feeling.
• Her direct reports. Carolyn micro manages and second-guesses everything they do. They feel intimidated and inadequate. They don’t like the feeling.

When Carolyn was in college she was long on honors and short on friends. She avoided anything and anyone that got in the way of her studies. Whatever she learned didn’t include managing her emotions or her relationships.

How has she remained so insensitive to the effect she has on others? Everyone just kept their collective mouths shut.

Her parents: “Leave Carolyn alone. You know how difficult smart children can be.”

Her teachers: “Carolyn is very intense and emotional, like many gifted students. People will learn to work around her and accept her as she is.”

The problem is, they haven’t and they won’t.

What’s Carolyn’s take on all this?

“I work harder than anyone else in this company. I come in earlier and stay later and take work home when I leave. I work every weekend and still worry that I won’t get it all done.

I know that people resent me. It’s obvious. But if I allow myself to be influenced by that, I’ll fail at my job. Doing my work right is more important to me than being popular.

I’m too intense? Well, I guess so! Wouldn’t you be? Now, get out of my way, I have work to do.”

Sorry, Carolyn. Despite your commitment to excellence, you are ineffective. Being smart, hardworking and focused just doesn’t cut it if no one is willing to work with you. Unless you learn how to behave differently and act upon what you learn, you’re going to be on your own. Completely.

What can Carolyn do? If she knew, she’d probably be doing it.

So Carolyn, (or Caleb, Carl or Carla) here’s a crash course in business savvy:

Stop worrying about what you can’t control. Focus on what you can. You will never get it all done or have the answers to questions that may never be asked. And if you are spending your time trying to do both, you’re spreading yourself thin and wearing yourself out.

Are you saying “yes” to the wrong things and saying “no” to the wrong people? What are your boss’s priorities? If you don’t know, don’t assume. Ask. Your productivity should correspond to your boss’s expectations of you, not what you think those expectations should be.

Are you making your boss’s requests into something more complex than he intends? Simplify. Unnecessary complexity begets complication that can gum up the works and increase everyone’s tension levels. You end up wasting time with needless delays and pointless headaches.

Are you carrying more of the load than anyone should? Who’s putting it there? If it’s your subordinates, you may be the one extending the invitation. When your do-more attitude collides with their do-less behavior, you end up doing it all. Bad idea. Learn how to delegate. Learn what to delegate. Learn to provide honest and timely feedback to those who do it well and those who need to do it better.

If you only remember one thing, remember this: People won’t remember you as working the hardest or being the smartest. You’ll be remembered for how well you played the game and how well you treated your teammates along the way.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

“I can’t find a job! Is it me or the economy?”

A recent caller wanted to know if she could blame the economy for her inability to find work. I told her that if it made her feel better to do so, please, be my guest. She said that it didn’t. She wanted to somehow get past the fact that there were so few jobs and so many people looking for them.

“I’m not a spendthrift,” she said. “I have bills to pay and no way to pay them unless I dip into savings. What can I do to get a decent job?”

We talked about her search and the obstacles she’s encountered. Much of what we discussed had universal application so I asked if I might share the conversation with you. She agreed.

Obstacle: How can high school graduates compete effectively when compared to college graduates?

Key word: Self-confidence. In this market, most companies are under the gun to keep expenses down and production up. They want to hire employees who can hit the ground running, who are as efficient as they are effective. They look for people who can combine strong work ethic with high-octane performance.  In other words, if you can sell yourself as energetic, focused, and flexible, with a track record to match, you are competitive.

Obstacle: How can you overcome a bad case of interview-jitters, particularly when you’ve always been scared of authority figures?

Key word: Focus.  Authority figures scare most of us. The trick is to remember that you’re a responsible adult, not a dependent child. The person sitting across the desk or standing across the room hasn’t the moral or legal authority to judge your beliefs or your behaviors unless you give them that right. They may approve or disapprove of your actions, but you get to choose what to do about it.

Focus on what you’re there to accomplish. Tell your story and don’t get hijacked by your emotions. Ask good questions. The best questions enable the interviewer to describe the challenges the company and department must confront and what they need and expect from their best employees. Then, respond according to your strengths and abilities.

Obstacle: When responding to ads, whether in print or the internet, I know I’m going up against hundreds of people who are as anxious for that job as am I. How can I move to the head of the line?

Keyword: Network. People who position themselves ahead of the crowd rely on and dedicate at least 80% of their search time to networking. Networking contacts can introduce you to decision makers who get you in the side door without your having to wait in line. Here are three examples of how it works: 1. Talk to people who work where you would like to work or know people who work there. If you don’t know who they are, (I realize they don’t walk around advertising the fact) ask people you know to help you find them. Next: tell the person why you’re interested in that particular company (have a few good reasons) and ask who you might speak to, to learn more about opportunities there. Note: you didn’t ask for an interview. You want a “conversation” to determine that there’s a match between what they need and what you do. 2. Talk to people who are supervisors or managers in their respective places of business. Describe what you do best and ask them for recommendations as to where you might look and with whom you might speak. 3. Talk to people you know personally and with whom you have a great deal in common. Describe what you do best, which, to no great surprise, is what they do best. Ask them to brainstorm with you regarding job possibilities and, hint, hint, who would be good personal leads for you to contact.

Obstacle: What can you do when you’re your own worst enemy?

Key word: Affirmations. Negative self-talk does you more damage than what anyone possibly could think or say about you. Believe in yourself, and say so. Believe that each encounter you have, each meeting, each interview, is a positive opportunity for something good to follow, and tell yourself so. 

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Economic Shifts and Challenges

Like it or not, employed or not, you’re in the middle of the busiest business intersection you’re likely to experience. It’s hard to know whether to wait for traffic to clear, cross against it, or jump in and go with the flow. One thing’s for sure, you can’t stay in one place for long, so what do you do? Let’s look at the possibilities.

Wait for traffic to clear: The last time the economy went south and took employment with it, significant numbers of twenty and thirty-somethings, caught between too many layoffs and too few jobs, sat it out by applying to graduate schools, and  schools of medicine and law. If they finished their respective programs (many did not),  they ran into some unexpected obstacles. They had either glutted the market they gambled on and there were no positions available, or they didn’t want the jobs for which the degree prepared them. Instead of getting ahead of the game, they lost time, money, and momentum.

This a great time to enhance your education, just do it wisely and do it without dropping out of the workforce. Take courses that improve your ability to do what you do best, talk to industry insiders, network with heavy hitters who have gone where you want to go. Think they won’t talk to you? Give it a try. It’s likely they have more time and readiness to talk now, when the market is flat, than when they’re too busy to give a rip.

Stay employed.If you can’t get the job you want, deal with it by finding work that enables you to cross train in your industry, area of specialization, or allied field.  What’s the advantage? You’ve increased your arena of experience, your marketablity, and your workplace credibility. With increased employment flexibility you’re likely to stay employed longer.

Stay alert. Watch out for pot holes, like lower salaries and fewer benefits. In an effort to stay afloat without major layoffs, businesses are cutting payroll by offering less in salaries, wages, and bonuses. Take it in stride. When the economy turns around, salaries and perks will slowly rebound. Here’s why:  

Many employees are waiting out the recession, holding onto jobs they need but don’t want, working for companies or bosses they don’t like. As soon as the economic tides shift, and jobs become available, so will they. Companies will respond accordingly, competing with increased salaries and improved benefits.

Employer nerves are frayed, and for good reason. They’re doing whatever they can to stay in business, keep the creditors at bay, and their employees working.  Yet, try as they might, they don’t feel valued for their efforts. If anything, they feel that employees want for more than they can give. Instead of appreciating the fact that they’re employed, they complain about longer hours and shorter pay.  They don’t seem to realize that the alternative is the unemployment line. Instead of seeing a loyal work force, they see one that is tentative at best, and struggling at worst.

On the other hand, some employees aren’t feeling too charitable about their employers, and for good reason. Every day feels like “what have you done for me lately?” They’re working more because their co-workers have been laid off and they haven’t the good will or energy to put up with the stress of wondering “Will I be the next one to go?”

Embattled employers will do well to see their employees as a lifeline to the future. The company may not be able to pay them more or work them less. They can let them know in countless and creative ways that their work makes a difference, and that the business is surviving because of them.  

It’s important that employers acknowledge that employees struggle with debt, family obligations, and the fear that all Americans share when at the cross roads of economic shift and national challenge. Acknowledge and appreciate their loyalty and your commitment to find ways to make good on their sacrifice. And mean it. 

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

The Benefits of Social Capital in the Workplace

When Harvard University professor Robert Putnam authored the book “Bowling Alone” in 2000, he wrote that social capital (the collective value of all social networks) had seriously declined, that we weren’t visiting as much, joining as much, gathering as often at our churches, lodges, PTA’s and community socials. As a result, we weren’t as trusting, sharing, or cooperating.

Several weeks ago his concerns were echoed in national surveys that sounded the same notes of concern: that Americans are increasingly isolated, one from the other. We have fewer people in our lives with whom we share our knowledge and ourselves.

Why should we care? There are well- documented studies that describe what happens when we’re seriously “Home Alone”; there’s more crime, less charity, more anger, and more people dying of social isolation. What is the impact of social capital in the workplace and who’s working to enhance it? Front line managers who attract and retain talent and excel at turning that talent into performance.

What do great managers have in common? That’s what the Gallup Organization wanted to know, so they launched a 21- year research project in which 80,000 managers from 400 companies were surveyed/interviewed to determine just that.

In “First, Break All the Rules”, Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman reported the project’s results and described 12 core elements essential to attracting, focusing, and keeping the most talented employees. All twelve involved social capital (trust, reciprocity, learning what we need to know, and creation of a we mentality): I know what is expected of me at work; I have what I need to do my work; I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day; In the last seven days I have received recognition or praise for doing good work; My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person; There is someone at work who encourages my development; At work my opinions seem to count; The mission /purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important; My co-workers are committed to doing quality work; I have a best friend at work; In the last six months someone at work has talked to me about my progress; This last year I have had opportunities at work to learn and grow.

The best managers consistently emphasize the benefits of social capital: trust, give and take, information flow, and cooperation. They select the right person for talent, not just experience, intelligence or determination; they set expectations by defining the right outcomes, not the right steps; they motivate by focusing on strengths, not weaknesses; and develop, by helping the person find the right fit, not just the next rung on the ladder.

Does social capital benefit the bottom line? Fortune Magazine annually highlights 100 Best Companies to Work For; companies that consistently reinforce the elements of social capital that result in employee commitment and loyalty and translate to increased employee productivity. According to Fortune, for the past ten years the average annual shareholder return of these publicly traded firms has been 50% higher than the S&P 500.

When employee climate surveys ask what employees want most and get least the typical response is “work-life balance”; time to create, maintain or enhance relationships with family and friends, to be part of and contribute to community. Until that time comes (which may not happen if they’re working two and more jobs just to stay financially afloat) they’ll seek social connection in the workplace. If they can’t find it there they’ll either change jobs until they do or disconnect. It shouldn’t take social scientists or the greatest managers to tell us what happens next.

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Finding Balance

Balance. Who cares and what does it have to do with your job search? Several clients have called, wanting to figure it out.

The call for balance used to be the province of women in the workplace.  “I’m expected to do it all,” some whispered.

“I expect to do it all,” others proclaimed. And it still falls to many a woman with spouse, child, or children, to be the point person in charge of cleaning the hearth and the cook pots, preparing the meals, and managing the youngsters and the places they go when that’s where they need to be.

Now she’s making room for her male counterpart who says he needs and wants balance as well.

“Life is too short to live my life the way my dad lived his,” says the man I’ll name Dan. “He gave his all to make enough money for us to live comfortably, attend the right schools, and have the right experiences, so that we could do well, on our own and without him. He was prophetic. He died when my brothers were in their twenties and I was fifteen. I miss him and miss the memories that I don’t have of him. We didn’t go fishing, play ball, or shoot hoops together. I went with others instead of him, because he had to work, to “pay for all this, son, or you wouldn’t have it.”

We didn’t play Monopoly or Scrabble, checkers or chess. “What do you think, son, that I have time for that? Ask your brothers to play with you, so I can take a nap before I head back to work.”

What I would given to have known him better. To have known what he cared about besides making a life for us, so I’d know if I wanted to be the man he was or the man I wanted him to be.”

Dan wants a career that will enable him to be the father he wants his children to have.

How can a man without inherited wealth, power, or prestige give his family the time they deserve?

“I told my wife back when we were dating that I wanted to share my life with her and with the children that I hoped we would have together. That meant we’d probably not have a lot of what folks have with big salaries, big careers, and company demands that require 24/7 attention. I found the right life’s partner. She agreed that our time together was more important than time dedicated to work, and without each other.

“When we had kids, and we’ve had three, we let them know, through our actions, not our words, what mattered. We managed their expectations by being clear about our own. We were a family. We cared about each other. We built self esteem by holding each other accountable for the safety, security, and well-being of the other. We couldn’t guarantee happiness, we couldn’t shape personality as though it were clay, but we could love each other for the person he and she was, not who we were or wanted them to be.

“I’ve told every boss I’ve had that my family was more important to me than my company. Only one challenged me with an imbalanced number of hours, and days, and obligations.  I pushed back, respectfully, and we worked it out.”

“I’ve chosen to be an average but steady employee who’s received an average number of promotions and increases through the years. “

“I’m OK with that. I’ve been a good dad, a good spouse, a responsible provider, and an honest person. My children are grown now, and they know who I am. That’s all I wanted from my dad, and all I wanted to give my children.”

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A List of Big Mistakes

One of the biggest mistakes you can make on an interview is to tell prospective employers that you can do anything they need you to do. No matter how able and willing you are, if you make a pledge like that you’re bound to fall short. The employer knows that and won’t hire you. Instead, ask the interviewer to describe the greatest challenges facing the department in which you want to work, then describe what you do best, what you’ve been recognized for, and how that ability has benefited companies you’ve worked for in the past. If their needs and your talents match, you’ve got a good shot at the right job.

One of the biggest mistakes that parents can make with their job- seeking children is to tell them that they can do anything they set their minds to do. That’s an overblown estimation that won’t serve them well. If these young adults are willing to listen, they can benefit from the practical advice their parents can give. Parents: describe what you’ve seem them do best; describe times they’ve approached challenging situations in productive and effective ways. Describe which attributes are marketable and important to employers, and which behaviors are turn-offs, and why.  Over-the-top compliments may feel good to the giver but don’t do much for a receiver who needs something instructive and tangible to hold onto.

One of the biggest mistakes employers make when interviewing prospective employees is to sugar-coat the challenging situations their would-be employees are going to encounter. Applicants need to know what they’re going to face so they can make informed decisions about their employment. Therefore, tell job seekers the truth. Describe the situation objectively. Ask applicants how they would solve the problem. Ask for examples of their having been involved in similar situations, the actions they took, and the outcomes that followed.

One of the biggest mistakes job seekers make when writing resumes is to over-inflate them… stuffing them with everything imaginable, hoping that someone needs something they’ve done. The result: the resume reader doesn’t know what the applicant can do best and wants most to do. Rather than attempt to be all things to all people, job seekers should stick to one theme and one pursuit. Design a resume that builds a case based upon proven experience and success.

(Tip: Keep your references in the loop, letting them know which jobs you’re targeting. Be sure they know you well enough to provide workplace examples of you at your best. If they can’t, you need different references.)

One of the biggest mistakes a job hunter can make when networking is to ask contacts for a job or to suggest that it’s their job to find you a job. Nothing stops a network faster than intimating “what have you done for me lately?” Instead, state what you’re looking for and request brainstorming time for ideas and recommendations of the right people to talk to and places to look.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when negotiating is to say more, when less will do. For example, you’ve been made an offer that’s lower than you can afford to accept. Say something like, “Mr. Jones, I appreciate your offer. I want to work for you and your company. I can do the job and can contribute to your bottom line. I am concerned with the salary offer. It’s less than I would have expected given my experience and the span of responsibilities the position requires.” Then…be quiet. You’ve put the ball in Mr. Jones’ court. Let’s see what he does with it.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when leaving a job is to badmouth the company, your boss, or your co-workers. Like it or them or not, they will always be part of your professional history and fair game for reference checkers.  So, even if the experience has been a bad one and you’re glad that it’s behind you, swallow hard, thank them for the opportunity, wish them well, and move on. Trash them when you leave and sooner or later, you’ll be the one to pay the price.