I Didn’t Tell You Because I Thought You Knew

A 360 Degree View

Between a Rock and….

Too Little…Too Late

Too Much Aggressiveness Eventually Catches Up to You

Frank strode into the room like he owned it. He was tall, imposing, and downright charming. As soon as we sat down, it was another matter.  He cut to the chase: his direct reports were all wrong and his peers were all stupid. He had managed  to the bottom line, had pushed his people hard. He made money and that was what stakeholders expected of him. He didn’t have a problem, the employees did. And so did any fool who would listen to their empty complaints about him.

When Frank joined his company, he had an insatiable hunger to succeed. He knew what to do as soon as he signed on: meet the right people, move up, never over. Twenty  years later, against staggering odds and an even greater body count,  he had succeeded, with a vengeance.

Frank grew up in a mill town and hustled for nickels and dimes as soon as he could walk. He knew what he wanted before he could write his name. Frank was determined to make something of himself and never looked back. He came from working survivors of hard knocks and cold streets, who made ends meet with outside work and back room income.

As soon as Frank was old enough to leave the house,  he was selling something to somebody: newspapers, water filters, gas extenders; you name it, he tried it. He loved the chase, refusals were fodder for his “try harder” mentality. Inevitably, he’d win over his prey with a relentless drive to make it happen. He didn’t find joy in it, or satisfaction. He never would.

Frank became a popular subject for the business press. He was quotable, candid, and made himself  available. When asked, “what drives you?” he’d tell them the glaringly obvious. “If it was there, I wanted it.  And if I wanted it  badly enough, I’d push aside anyone or anything to get it.”

Frank knew how the game was played: do what you have to do; remember who pays your salary, and deal with the fallout  later. His bosses loved him, his raises and promotions proved that. His peers and direct reports didn’t love him, didn’t like him, and didn’t trust him. In the end, they made their point, and won. Bosses don’t fire you. Direct reports do.

Frank was a survivor who made his name salvaging situations no one else would touch. This time he had to salvage his career. He wasn’t going to leave without putting up a fight.

Frank’s boss had called me, asking if I would pound some sense into him. Frank was out of  time. He couldn’t turn this mess around;  he was history. Frank needed to learn what went wrong, what didn’t work; what to do differently.

Whether you employ someone like Frank or feel that this story could be about you,  pay attention to these fix it now suggestions:

• Watch what you say and who you say it to: If you’re overly aggressive,  you’re probably managing up better than down or over.

• Develop peripheral vision. Make others look good; give credit where it’s due; promote the work of your direct reports; act as a mentor; listen more than you talk.

• Watch your body language: Turning away from others or multi-tasking when they’re talking to you is off-putting at best, and arrogant at worst. Give undivided attention to the speaker, and ask questions to clarify what  you’re hearing, not to justify what you ‘re thinking.

• Watch everyone else: There’s plenty of feedback to be had by watching others watch you. Relationship building and maintaining is key to career success both inside and outside the company.

Who do you trust? People trust trustworthy people. Men and women of integrity are valued in reputable organizations. They have no need to hoard information so that others are overly dependent upon them. They are confident without having to build their self worth off someone else’s errors.

Frank got fired. You may have time to turn your career around, if you work at it. You’re too talented and too old to waste time blaming everyone else for your lapse in judgment.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Feedback: Too Much, Too Little or Too Late

Feedback. Too much or too little? It depends on who you’re asking:

“Everybody tells me what to do; from my mother to my manager. You’d think I didn’t have a brain in my head. Why can’t people just keep their opinions to themselves and let me do my job?”

“The only time I get any feedback is at my annual review, which I get every eighteen months to two years, if I’m lucky. Even then, it’s sketchy, abstract, and I don’t know what to do with it. Next thing you know, I’m let go, and I didn’t see it coming.”

Feedback. If more people knew how, what, and why to give it and more people knew how to do something with it, everyone and the bottom line would benefit.

Whether you’ve been into feedback avoidance, or you’re known as Attila the Feedback Giver, this framework should help you to prepare for and deliver feedback more effectively:

Approach your feedback meeting with the assumption that you don’t know everything; therefore, you don’t have all the answers.

Allow time for give and take. You’re heading into a discussion with someone who will provide you perspectives that you don’t have.

Develop an outline:

• What’s your goal?

Why are you giving this feedback?
What do you want to achieve by giving it?

• What exactly is the problem?

Who is it about?
What is it about?
How does it relate to the person you are giving feedback to?

• Who solves the problem?

Whose responsibility is it?
How much authority has this person in solving the problem?

• What are the available options?

What are the pros and cons of each option?
Who will benefit and how and at what cost?

• What’s the action plan?

Who’s going to solve the problem or meet the challenge?
What do they need to get it done?
How will you measure their progress?
How will you know if and when the problem is solved?

Despite careful planning and candid acknowledgment that giving objective and timely feedback makes sense, many employers “choke” when it comes to providing it.

• They fear negative reactions and don’t want to deal with them.
• They think they don’t have time to do it right, so they wait until they do. They won’t and they don’t.
• They believe it’s faster to fix the problem themselves.
• They complain that people are unpredictable. They’d rather work with widgets.

The rubber abruptly meets the road when these same bosses get deep-sixed with the very feedback that they avoided giving. Because they got it too late, they may lose their jobs.

Vicious cycle, isn’t it.

Good supervisors, managers, leaders provide feedback to enable their employees to grow and develop in their positions, to take on increasing levels of responsibility and authority, to free their bosses to accomplish the goals for which they are accountable.

Feedback, when delivered appropriately, benefits everyone.

It must be provided on a consistent basis and in a climate that is safe and supportive.

It’s a two way street. Give it and get it. Model it by asking your employees two questions:

What do you want me to do more?

What would you like me to do less?

Listen to what you are being told. Probe for deeper understanding. Ask for examples that would help you see the point that is being made. Rather than appearing to defend your behavior, learn why doing it differently would benefit others.

Providing and receiving feedback can be habit forming. When compared to other addictions, this is one with positive side effects that builds, rather than tears down, human capital.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Conventional Wisdom Won’t Keep Your Employees from Leaving

“How can I stop my employees from leaving when I can’t afford to compete with the salaries and benefits the other folks are offering?”

That’s the question many employers are asking. The problem is, they’re listening to Conventional Wisdom for the answers. CW suggests that people join companies and stay with them for salary and  benefits; that employees have no loyalty; if they can get better down the street, that’s where they’re going to go.

In years past, employers attracted employees with unspoken promises of security, competitive salaries and benefits. What they asked in return was uncompromising loyalty. They got it.

Companies grew and acquired other companies. Their mergers turned into downsizings and the silent promises they made were as bankable as smoke. If you were lucky, your hard work and loyalty got you a pass until the next layoff was announced.

Once burned twice savvy employees (and their soon to be employed children) learned that loyalty meant “take care of yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.” They changed the game by writing their own rules: Stay with a company that treats you right. Leave a company that doesn’t. They knew precisely what that meant even though they didn’t tell anyone and no one took the time to ask. Until recently.

First, Break All the Rules, What the World’s Greatest Managers do Differently,by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman, is based upon the Gallup Organization’s comprehensive employee opinion survey and in-depth interviews of over 80,000 managers in over 400 companies. It is, according to Gallup, “the largest study of its kind ever undertaken.”

In essence, it says that despite the best efforts of pay, benefits, promotions and training, it’s the employee’s manager who most strongly influences whether employees stay or leave. How’s that? The more that managers become involved and invested in their employees’ development and career success, the greater the likelihood that employees are more productive, companies makes more money, customers are better served, and yes, employees stay where they are.

When highly respected polling organizations take the time to ask the right questions, in as comprehensive a manner as the Gallup Organization has, it pays to take notice of their findings.

Employees leave or stay because of their managers, not because pay or benefits are more or less than what the folks get next door. Employees stay with managers who match strengths to challenges;  delegate decision making authority, and demonstrate a real interest in individual development. They stay with managers who enable them to accomplish something worthwhile and affirm them when doing so.

So rant and rave all you want about the folks next door stealing your employees. If you treat them right, they’ll stay. If you don’t, they won’t.

“But what if your employees don’t want to be motivated? They don’t want to be challenged, they don’t want to be developed, they just want to get a paycheck. If you demand more than they’re willing to give, they’re out the door. What then?”

Look at your hiring practices. The most critical mistake any employer makes is to hire someone without clarifying expectations. Consult with a professional who can help assess your needs and your environment (which are often different than you might think), and design an interview process that is targeted to both.

Provide new employees the training and equipment they need to get the job done. Give them specific and timely feedback; when they are performing the job well and when they need to improve and how. Motivate them by reinforcing their strengths instead of emphasizing their weaknesses. Ask them for feedback and listen to what they say:  Do you have what you need? Give us your ideas about how to do this job better. What are some ways we can improve our processes?

Take an interest in employees as people. The more you bring out their best, the more likely they are to stay. Those are employees you want to keep.

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 Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

 Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

The Three C’s of Effective Communication

Political pundits advise the President to have news conferences early and often. Why?

1. The public wants to know what’s happening and what the President’s doing about it. They want to know his command of the issues; how aware, involved, and decisive he is regarding critical events and breaking news.

2. The more often the President meets the press and the public, the more on top of issues he has to be.

Political advisors aside, that’s sound advice for anyone in charge of anything. It’s of particular importance to people who have information that impacts the lives of others.

Why is it important to inform others, consistently, concisely, yet comprehensively, of events and plans that affect them? The answer appears self-evident, yet those responsible for the telling (and who should know better) are too often missing in action.

What keeps leadership and management from stepping up? Let’s examine the more obvious reasons, and deal with them one at a time:

• They don’t know what’s going on.
• They don’t know what to do with what’s going on.
• There’s so much going on they don’t know where to begin.
• They don’t know how their employees will act if they tell them what’s going on.
• Their employees might have some strong opinions about what’s going on.

They don’t know what’s going on: Well meaning employers can over delegate what they are least interested in doing or knowing, entrusting others with more decision-making authority than they should have. When the buck stops it’s on the wrong desk. Employers need to understand what’s happening and anticipate the consequences that flow from the information they’re getting.

They don’t know what to do with what’s going on: When employers and their managers feel overwhelmed by the mass and speed of changing events, they get stuck between where they’ve been and where they need to go. If they prefer the tactical to the strategic, they’re putting out fires without identifying the cause of the blaze. Savvy leaders think and act strategically and analytically. They maintain vision and perspective as they unravel and simplify the complexities of cause and effect. They communicate that understanding to tactical managers and their employees, who fix what’s broken and get the new job done.

There’s so much going on they don’t know where to begin: Managers who procrastinate are avoiding what comes first in favor of what comes last. Effective managers dial into the issues and ignore the static. They focus their time and energy on what’s important, instead of what’s making the most noise.

They don’t know how their employees will act if they tell them what’s going on: When leaders and managers side step issues to avoid the prospect of conflict, they further complicate problems, erode trust and diminish loyalty. It takes courage, honesty, and integrity to manage employees and the information that affects them. Effective leaders and managers are knowledgeable about the choices they make and realistic about the consequences of their actions.

Employees might have strong and opposing opinions about what’s going on: If employers adapt the adage, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them,” they wrongly assume their employees live on the dark side of the moon. Today’s workers are savvy. They are highly aware of talk in the press, in the markets, and on the street. What they don’t know, they create, resulting in rumors that hurt everyone.

If employers avoid sharing information because they fear strong, negative reactions, they’re delaying the inevitable, multiplied. Whether the news is good or bad, employees want to know. They want to prepare themselves and plan, emotionally and intellectually, for what might happen. If it turns out fine, they’re relieved. If it doesn’t, they’re ready. Employees trust bosses who demonstrate consideration, compassion, and consistently tell the truth.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.

Passing the buck? Don’t Delegate Unpleasantries!

“Everyone wants to shoot the messenger!” says Mary, who’s the messenger for a boss who would rather “not get involved.” Here’s her story. It might have familiar ring:

Mary is a seasoned executive assistant. She’s able to see what needs doing and gets it done. She thinks on her feet, consistently makes good choices, and good decisions. She’s hard working and dedicated to her job; organized, good with details and sees how they connect to the big picture.

She’s professional in demeanor, personable in relationships, articulate and well read. She sounds great and her boss agrees. 

“Hello, I’m Larry, Mary’s boss. Mary’s all that she’s described to be, and more. In fact, she’s so much more, I’m able to delegate everything that I don’t want to do. I don’t like to manage people or things, I like to lead. So, I leave the managing to Mary. What specifically? Performance reviews. It’s tedious and time consuming to write them and unpleasant to conduct them. So I have Mary do them for me. I sign them and she delivers them. I don’t like to meet with direct reports. They like to complain and I don’t want problems, I want solutions. So I ask Mary to listen to their complaints, fix what she can and let the rest go.

I want to do what I’m paid to do, and that’s to be the big picture guy. I’m great at it. I love it. Thank heavens that’s about the only thing that Mary’s not good at doing or I’d have a struggle on my hands.”

“I’m Mary. Larry nailed it. He has me do everything he doesn’t want to do (did he mention shopping for family gifts and canceling dinner engagements?), but I draw the line when it comes to critiquing his direct reports. He once asked me to fire someone for him. I flatly refused, Larry never did it and the person still works here.

Keep in mind, please, that I am his executive assistant, not his executive vice president.  I do not have the title, authority, power, or paycheck to do the things he asks of me. His direct reports look at me as though I’m on some ego trip, giving orders like I’m in charge. I’m caught between a boss who relies on me to do his job and a staff that resents me for doing it.

“I’m Harry, one of Larry’s direct reports and I’d like to weigh in on this discussion. We don’t give Mary respect because we know she’s a stand in for Larry, who doesn’t have the courage to tell us, in person, what we need to know and what we need to hear. We admire his intelligence and his ability to sell our vision and our mission. He has great interpersonal skills when it comes to meeting, greeting, and securing financial support for our worthwhile endeavors. What he lacks is an ability to engage our support. He shuts us out and thinks shoving Mary in our faces makes up for his omissions. He’s wrong and its unfortunate that Mary’s paying the price.”

Mary does what her boss asks because; “I need this job until the market improves. Then I’ll have no choice but to leave and work elsewhere.”

Mary does have choices. Larry wants solutions, not problems. Mary creates a win-win if she can objectively describe the challenge, available options, and her recommendations for resolution. First, she gets Larry in the loop. He’s unaware of the consequences of his actions. Let him know that his subordinates feel shut out of the process; that her intervention makes the situation worse instead of better. If Larry prefers to delegate to her as before, she recommends that he include her on the management team, with the title, authority, and salary commensurate with the position.  Whatever decisions Larry makes, Mary has responded proactively, assertively, and responsibly. She’ll know where she stands and can make better-informed career decisions going forward.

And Larry, if you’re reading this, you have time to turn situations like these around before the economy does the job for you. Change your paradigm and you can change negative outcomes to positive results.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Advice for the Advice-Giver

If you’re a frequent reader, you know that I typically offer advice to job seekers, providing strategies for getting and keeping jobs. I often suggest they contact you, as possible references, networking contacts, and prospective employers, and in turn, ask that when you offer your wisdom and perspective you’re doing it to help them stay on the road and out of the ruts they inevitably encounter.

It occurred to me that you might want a little advice too; about how to handle these calls, particularly the ones you’d rather not get, and to remind you that their job search is not your burden. Getting a job is up to them, not up to you. With that in mind and if it helps, here are some tactics you might want to consider when asked to perform a service you’d rather not do.

If you get a call from an acquaintance, a friend, or relative of a friend, who asks you to serve as a reference, pause. And in that pause, ask a few questions.

“I appreciate your considering me as a reference. Let’s talk about the kind of job you’re looking for so I can determine if I’m the right person to help you.”

Listen to caller’s response. If it’s fuzzy, incomplete, or ill considered, suggest that he clarify his objective (or rationale) and get back to you. If he does, and can make a good case for the job he seeks, indicate that you will be his reference with this qualification: “I am pleased to speak on your behalf. I will describe to the prospective employer how I know you and the degree to which I am aware of your experience and expertise. Will that work for you?” Whether it does or doesn’t, you’ve demonstrated care and consideration.

If the caller is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose social skills are impeccable, and skill sets are not, and you believe that she is better suited to different line of work than that to which she is applying, say so. And suggest that she ask her other references for feedback regarding her current objective. If you’re outnumbered, let her know that the other references would do a better job for her than you would.

If the person calling is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose skill sets are impeccable and social skills aren’t, ask what he has done to improve in that regard. If he indicates a targeted effort with positive response, indicate that you will speak positively about his technical prowess and that you are pleased to hear that he is becoming more effective in his communication style. Suggest that he would do well to have additional references who can speak to that aspect of his performance.

Use the same degree of honestly and cordiality with those who would ask to network with you. If you are open to the possibility, ask how you might be a resource. If the person doesn’t know, you may be in for a long meeting in which you do all the work. Instead, ask her to get back to you with a plan. If she does, and is clear about the outcome she intends be sure you’re comfortable with it. If you’re not, you’ll unwittingly un-do the good will and time you have expended.

On behalf of job seekers who respectfully ask their references for permission, and their networking contacts for time and perspective; to those of you who so graciously assist them, thank you. Thank you for working with them, encouraging them, and telling them the truth.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

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