Own Your Mistakes: Actions Bring Consequences

If you’re like many hard drivers, you can be more than a little defensive when criticized for something you’ve said or done.

“What do you mean, I’m defensive? I’m just explaining what happened and why I did what I did!”

“That’s what I mean, you’re acting defensive. Just admit that you were rude this morning. I was in the middle of an important presentation and you cut me off.”

“Rude? How was I rude? You were taking forever. I jumped in to keep from falling asleep. Besides, how can an explanation be defensive? You’re the one who’s acting defensive because you just don’t want to hear the truth. You know who’s rude? You’re rude! I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time explaining this to you.”

Joe, you’re boldly going where you ought not to go, attempting to right a perceived wrong by arguing your way out of it. If you continue, you’ll create a bigger problem than the one you started.

“What am I supposed to do? Apologize for something that I didn’t intend, something that others balloon out of proportion?”

It’s your actions that get you in trouble, not your intentions. Actions have consequences. Apologize for the actions that you take that result in the consequences you don’t intend.

“How’s that? I don’t follow you.”

Instead of arguing, defending, or explaining, say something like, “I can understand why you felt that I was rude. I got carried away and interrupted when you were in the middle of making your point. I apologize.”

“That’s true. I did that. I got so excited I didn’t pay attention to what she was saying or what was going on around me. She’s right. I was rude. I didn’t mean to be. I’m feeling kind of embarrassed right now.”

Will you apologize?

“Sure, no problem.”

There are times you’re asked to explain things that you’d rather avoid, like “why were you let go from that job?” Cut to the chase. State what happened and describe what you learned.

“I learned two important lessons from that experience. The first: have more than one mentor in a company that’s undergoing major change, and the second: get experience in more than one area of specialization. By having more than one mentor I’ll be more aware of the influences that can impact my position. By cross training I’ll have greater flexibility and opportunity to add value, particularly if I can move from an area that’s being consolidated to one that’s expanding.”

There are times you think you’re funny and you’re not.

“Jack, you made a serious mistake when you told that joke in the staff meeting. It was crude and insulting. You know we don’t tolerate that around here.”

“You’ve got to be kidding! Everyone knew I was joking. Everyone was laughing! Besides, I’m not the only one who talks like that and you know it. I’m not taking the fall for this.”

“Stop arguing and just admit you made a mistake.”

“I’m not going to admit anything. You people are too sensitive. You’re always looking for a problem when there isn’t one. So I told a joke. It was funny. Get over it.”

“You people? Where are you going with this, Jack?”

Jack’s taking an error in judgment and escalating it to a problem of potentially damaging proportion.

“OK, so what was I supposed to do? I knew the conversation with my boss was getting out of control but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.”

Own your mistakes, whether they’re tactical or strategic, personal or professional. If you don’t step up, quickly and honestly, others will force you to, and it won’t be pretty.

“OK, I hear you, but what can I say?”

“I apologize and I’ll apologize to the people who were there. We were all laughing and story telling and I didn’t think. I learned a good lesson. A joke isn’t funny if it’s at someone’s expense.”

Your boss is likely to accept your statement and move on, unless you do it again. Trample on people’s rights, show disrespect, act with incivility, and no amount of quick talking apologizing will get you off the hook. Pay now or pay later. You choose.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Take Time, Take Charge: Do Circumstances Block Your Way?

The answer lies somewhere in the pause.

How many situations have you made worse because you stepped in where you weren’t needed, said more when less was enough, and offered opinions when none were requested?

How many times do you wish you’d said more, because less wasn’t enough? When you wish you’d offered a kind word or a statement of support?

There is nothing heroic about speaking first if speaking last is the wiser choice. There is no grace in turning away, when everything within you says, “do something, now.”

There is no valor in taking action when none is needed; in making decisions when consideration is all that is required. There is no merit in taking control when control is not yours to take.

The answer, sometimes, is in the hesitation, the afterthought that was the right thought, after all.

A business owner complained, repeatedly, of having too much to do and not enough time to think. “I need time to set strategy,” he said. “I need time to meet with my employees and my customers. This ‘crisis management’ is killing me and killing my business.”

He called the other day. “Bummer!” he shouted, before saying hello. “Can you believe this? Our biggest project has been delayed, and now I’m sitting here with time on my hands and nothing to do. This wait is gonna’ kill me.”

When I reminded him of the strategy he so desperately wanted to set, the employees and customers he so urgently wanted to see, he didn’t respond. I asked to be sure he was still on the line.

“I’m here”, he said quietly. “I’m here.” More silence.

“I’m thinking. I’m thinking that it didn’t occur to me that this is my chance to take care of what I’ve put to the side. Gotta’ go. I’ll talk to you later.”

A few weeks passed, and he called again. He sounded great, his voice mellow, his tone relaxed. I shared my impression and asked him to account for the change.

“I didn’t realize I was so transparent, but I’m not surprised. I’ve had a great couple of weeks. I’ve had the time to do that “walk around” managing I’ve always enjoyed, and I learned more about our problems then I ever knew existed. The management and leadership teams have had meetings with production employees from each shift, so we can learn from the shop floor up, what we can do to work smarter.

We’ve gotten manufacturing, quality, sales, distribution, and customer service talking to each other, and not a minute too soon. They’re getting their problems figured out, and have scheduled time to talk with product development and marketing. Then I’ve got all of them talking with accounting, finance and legal so we can be sure to align our perspectives and positions with missions and direction.

I’m working as hard as ever but haven’t felt this good in years. I think this is what they call ‘business balance’.”

I asked if he noticed any change in the behaviors or attitudes of his employees.

“Absolutely.” he said. “Everyone seems to have more energy. They’re getting along. I didn’t realize how bad morale was until we started this.”

“And what’s the most significant change you see?” I asked.

“We’re taking time to analyze the situation and solve what the problem is, not what it appears to be. We’re taking time to listen to what people are saying, instead of assuming that we know without they’re telling us. We’re listening to our customers and responding to what they need instead of making excuses to cover the mistakes we’re making.”

If you’re like this hard-charger, you’re addicted to work and want to do it all. You won’t stop and don’t think until circumstances block your way. Then you blame yourself for the things you’ve left undone, and turn worry into problems of mythic proportion. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Take time to take charge of your life and your business. Create mental and emotional space; gain perspective by taking stock; evaluate the inventory of what you’ve learned and make principled decisions that are based on doing the right things, for the right reasons.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, ezine or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Professional Maturity vs. Social Sophistication

He said that he was impatient, hard driving, focused, bottom-line. That he had trouble with people who wanted to think aloud, taking everyone’s time, noodling about what ought to have been immediately clear to everyone present. That his idea was good, it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. So, he did what any clear thinking person would have done, he blew up. Well, not totally. But he did say in very emphatic terms that he wouldn’t sit through these interminable meetings and have his time wasted by individuals who didn’t know enough to speak intelligently about the subject at hand. With that, he left the room.

He thought the subject was closed. He made his point. What was left to say? Plenty, apparently. He was informed that he was to apologize, immediately, to the management team, or be denied the promotion and salary increase that he had so long worked to attain.

He was willing to meet, he said, to explain his position. “Not good enough,” he was told.

“Why should I apologize?” he screamed into the ear that I was holding at a respectful distance from the telephone receiver. “Why am I the bad guy and these idiots get away with making it so? Why should my career be threatened because they don’t know the truth when it smacks them in the head and kicks them in the behind?”

“Do you want me to respond or do you want to keep venting?” I asked.

“I want to know how to answer them without feeling like I’m giving in,” he said. “I want to explain myself. I realize I was too emotional. But I won’t apologize for anything else.”

“What’s your ‘end’ in mind,” I asked. “What do you want to have happen as a result of that conversation?”

Silence. I didn’t hear him breathe.

“Good question,” he said. “And I don’t have an answer.”

I knew then he was ready to listen.

“Being ‘right’ isn’t reason enough to demand that others agree with you. Being ‘right’ isn’t sufficient cause for others to abandon their perspective.”

“Okay. Maybe you’re right. What am I supposed to do? I’ve got integrity and I won’t compromise it to pander to people I don’t respect.”

“If you don’t respect the people on your team, why are you working for that company?”

“I misspoke. I do respect them. They’re smart, they’re smooth, and they’re sophisticated. To tell the truth, and I hadn’t thought about this until just now, I don’t think they respect me. That’s why I get angry.”

“Why wouldn’t they respect you?”

“Well, they went to ivy-league schools and have advanced degrees. They know how to dress, and what to say. They pick the right restaurants and choose the right wines. They’ve got class. I don’t. I didn’t get that in my house. Believe me, I wouldn’t trade my parents or my life, because that’s how I’ve gotten as far as I have, but I sure could use a little more polish.”

“What would polish do for you?”

“I’d be more patient, more understanding, I’d listen better because I wouldn’t feel like I always have to prove myself.”

“What do you have to prove?”

“That I have a right to be in the room. I have a right to a seat at the table. And I’ll fight for that right because I’ve earned it and I’m not going back to how I lived or where I lived, ever again.”

“It sounds like fighting for that right will guarantee you a ticket to where you don’t want to go.”

“Looks like it.”

“You’re smart, you’re quick, you connect the dots while others are still arranging them on the paper. You’re creative and passionate. You have everything that you need to succeed but…”

“But?”

“You have lessons to learn:  There are more ways than your way to solve problems, craft visions, and initiate processes. You can be intelligent and have viewpoints that add value and not be demeaning to others. It’s about professional maturity, not social sophistication.”

“It’s about winning as a team and beating the competition instead of beating up the team and losing my chance to play.”

“You’ve got it.”

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executiveand career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

My Boss and I Absolutely Do Not Get Along!

A reader asks this question:

“I have an ordeal I’m dealing with and need your advice. I’ve been at my current position for one year and greatly enjoy the people I work with except for my boss. We don’t click at all. It seems like I can never do one thing to please her. I’m in my 20′s and she’s twice my age. I have an undergraduate degree and she has an advanced degree. I watch the way she interacts with the other people in the office who have higher degrees and she gets along with everyone of them BUT me. If she calls me and I’m not at my desk or I’m on the phone she assumes that I’m not here. Its like that constantly. She belittles me in front of others and sends me rude emails. I need to know how to handle her and this situation. I’ve tried talking to her in the past but she blows up and says she doesn’t want to hear about it. Can you help?”

~ M. P. in Anywhere City, USA

A: You sound like you want to make this work despite describing a boss who sounds like a cross between the Wicked Witch of the West and Cinderella’s stepmother. She doesn’t appreciate or value your work and likes everyone in the office, but you. I’m not sure where your motivation to succeed is coming from, but I’m glad you’ve got it. Now, let’s get to work.

You’ve noticed that your boss gets along with everyone but you, so I’m assuming you work in a fairly small office. I mention that because your boss has chosen to communicate with you via telephone or email. She even rejected your suggestion to meet and clear the air. So, why is she throwing darts from long distance?

What you know: She doesn’t like your job performance.

What you don’t know: Why she doesn’t like it.

You have a hunch that your problems are connected to what sets you two apart: age and education. You could be onto something. If your boss believes you’re not performing your job as a mature, responsible, educated adult should (as mature, responsible, and almost as educated as she sees herself) then she’d be aggravated with you. That doesn’t mean that she’s right in her perceptions but she has the right to have them.

You mentioned that she assumes you’re not working when you’re away from your desk or on the phone. She could reasonably conclude that you’re using office time to do things other than what she has assigned. (It’s that perception thing again.)

How can you change her perceptions? Change your behaviors. Provide your boss a daily status report on your assignments. If you’re ahead of schedule (which may be why you’re on the phone or away from your desk), let her know and ask how you can be of additional assistance to her and the department.

You’ve observed that your boss gets along better with office mates who have advanced degrees. Her attitude may have more to do with different work styles than differences in intellect. In short, she gets along better with people who see the world as she does, and you may see the world differently. Here’s a hypothetical example: let’s say your boss plays by the rules, is a stickler for details and deadlines, and gets anxious if you don’t share her concerns. She might call you a sloppy, slacking, screw-up (you mentioned her belittling comments and rude emails).

On the other hand, you may be a creative person who loves variety and flexibility, and believe that doing things with flair and style are more satisfying than getting them done on time. You’re not into details, you’re into possibilities! That’s a conflict waiting to happen.

You mention there are several co-workers that get along with you and your boss. They’re in a position to see what you miss. Ask them to respond candidly to three questions:

I want to be more effective in my job and get along better with my boss. What should I stop doing, start doing, and continue to do?

Now take your positive energy and get to work!

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Is the “Tough Gal” on the Derailment Track?

This gal is tough. She’s smart, quick, aggressive, and focused. You better know what you’re doing or she’ll nail you, whether you’re in a meeting with clients or sitting down with your boss and the CEO.

She’s arrogant. She swaggers when she talks, and she’s dismissive of any opinion that doesn’t agree with hers. She keeps her job because she delivers. She keeps her promises and she makes money.

Her peers, subordinates, even her bosses find her hard to take, and she succeeds despite them, probably because she keeps getting promoted. There’s no holding her back and no one wants to. “Let her make money and stress out somebody else.”

But is she a bad employee? A negative influence? Since it’s all in the eyes of the beholders, let’s talk to a few of them and get their fix on the situation:

A direct report says, “As a woman, I like having a woman boss and I like the fact that she’s strong. Yes, she can be over powering, and yes, she can be intimidating, and yes, she plays like the big boys, and I like that. I can learn from her, a lot of women can learn from her. Is she perfect? Far from it. She expects a great deal of herself, and expects too much from us. She has the energy and capacity to work 24/7 without acting frazzled or looking frayed around the edges. She wants us to keep up, and not complain about the pace and standard she sets. We can’t do either. Many of us have families and commitments that require our off the clock time and attention.

I’ve learned how to work with her. I know that she likes people who aren’t afraid of her, who have well formed opinions and can tell her what they are, without exaggeration or hesitation. She doesn’t respect anyone who holds back.

I’ve learned not to complain, but to set boundaries, and it works. I’m clear about what I can and cannot do. If she overloads me, making every assignment sound like a three-alarm fire, I outline what she’s already told me to do and ask her to prioritize. She immediately tells me what’s the hottest on the list, and I deliver.

When she pushes too hard, and I protest firmly, with good humor, she’ll back off, but just for a while. Then she’s back at it. I’m glad she works here and glad I’ve had the opportunity to work for her. I’m stronger (and exhausted) for the experience.”

A peer says: “She’s difficult and uncompromising and I’m surprised that she gets away with it. Until recently we’ve not had any women in upper management so the leadership team may be accommodating her style by giving her more room than she deserves. She may intimidate them. Not by her intelligence, as smart as she is, but by the number of women in support roles who think she’s the standard bearer of gender equality.

If I were her boss, I’d set her straight. She’s rude, impatient, and whether she admits it or not, she doesn’t have all the answers. I’ll wait her out. I bet she’s gone in a year.”

Her boss says: “She’s can be edgy and abrupt, no doubt about it, and we’ve got her working with a coach for just those reasons. The good news is, she doesn’t take herself too seriously, has a sharp sense of humor, and holds her own, whatever the topic.

She’s tough as nails but I tell you, she gets what she goes after, for the company as well as for herself. I’ve seen her jump all over a poor performer and protect someone who’s going through a bad patch. We’re lucky she’s working for us and not the competition. We’ll do what it takes to keep her.”

What’s the sum?

If you deliver what you promise, improve the bottom line, give employees what they need and challenge them to do their best, you’re a keeper. If you withhold support, training, and positive leadership, spend more than you make, insult more than a few people along the way, and think you’re always right, you’re on track for derailment.

Any questions?

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Placing Our Challenges in a Time Capsule

Time Capsules. Why would anyone in 2110 be interested in what we did or thought in 2010 if no one seems to care about what we’re thinking or doing right now.

“That? We did that.” “Been there, done that.” “Oh no, not that!”

Are they likely to be intrigued by the artifacts of our technology? Influenced by the incivility of our interactions? Impressed by the chaotic management of our business processes?

We haven’t done a great job of learning from the past and here we are, sending a message to the future. That’s taking procrastination to a whole new level.

Instead of boxing up a time capsule of errors and omissions for an unknown generation some 100 years hence; let’s create time release capsules and open them often, consistently, and over time while we can still do something about the challenges we face.

What should be included? How about:

The best ideas of the week and why they worked. Names of the people with the best ideas and how they got their points across. Names of the best implementation teams of the week and how they did what they did to deserve the honor.

Another week’s worth could be:

The biggest blindsides of the week and steps you’ve taken to correct them. The biggest blindspots you have and what you’re doing to reduce them. The biggest blinders you wear and what you’re doing to remove them.

And a third week’s worth:

The best leads of the week and who got them, the best deals of the week and who did them, the best saves of the week and who made them.

Opening the capsule now enables you to learn from an immediate past to avoid repeating errors, to confront what’s not working and replace it with what is, all while keeping an eye on future goals and objectives to achieve them.

If you don’t, you’re rehearsing mistakes to the point of forgetting that’s what they are. The most common problems you’re apt to encounter aren’t mechanical, they’re human. When a part breaks, you do whatever it takes to get it fixed. When the problem is your colleague, the human tendency is to wait, avoid, and hope the problem will go away. It won’t and will become increasingly difficult to handle.

Handle your problems now.

Keep your comments direct, descriptive, objective, and non- judgmental. Here’s an example:

You’ve become increasingly frustrated with a peer: “Our team meetings are always held on Wednesdays at 8:30 a.m. You’ve been a half hour late the last three times we’ve met. Because your project is key to our current change process we’ve not been able to begin the meeting without you. Your colleagues have indicated their frustration and it’s impacting your credibility. Let’s figure out how to make this work for everyone.”

Then use basic negotiation strategy: Get tough on the problem (and go easy on the person); find out what you don’t know; stay objective; brainstorm for solutions; decide on an action plan that benefits everyone involved.

It takes practice to get better at this “appropriate confrontation” stuff. That means starting now. Anything else is procrastination and belongs in a time capsule.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, website or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

How to Make Team Building Effective

A manager says he’d like us to conduct team building programs for his employees. “You know, something where you take them outside and teach them how to work together”.

“Why?” we ask. “What do you want to accomplish?” 

Hesitation.

“I want them to work together better than they do now. They barely talk to each other, and when they do, it sounds more like sniping than conversation. Worse than that, they line up at my door, wanting me to solve their problems and settle their disputes, and I don’t have time for that. So, I thought I’d get you to do some team building with them. I don’t have to be there do I?”

A day of team building will be as effective as the manager is willing to participate, watch, listen, learn and lead. No gathering of individuals will automatically become a cohesive unit unless there is a compelling reason. “Because I want them to!” isn’t reason enough.

If you want your team to work as a team, start by getting out there with them. Clarify the outcomes you want and why you want them. Be specific about what the deadlines are and how they’re connected to outcomes. Tell them who’s accountable for what and how you’re going to measure it. They need to know.

It’s your job to find out what they don’t know and what they need to know. You need to know the resources they’ll need and the resources that are available. You need to be accessible; not to solve their problems but to know what the problems are.

Team building exercises provide opportunities for participants to observe strengths and abilities in themselves and others that they would otherwise miss. Your challenge as their manager is to take that awareness from the off-site to the work-site. If you assume that every employee automatically carries that learning back to the office and applies it, you’ll be disappointed. It is your job, as their manager to make the connections, see what they miss, understand what they don’t, and clarify the differences again and again.

Evaluate your team. Do they share your vision for the future? Do they know you have a vision and that they play a part in it? Are each of them aware of the unique part they play?

Do team members trust each other to get their part of the job done? Do you trust them and they you? Do they believe that you are telling them the truth and communicating with them as responsible adults?

Do you hire the talent you need to get the job done? Are you doing more of the job than you ought because you fear that delegating will result in failure? Your failure?

Do you confront conflict as it happens, in a candid and considerate way? Do you know what the problems are because you can see them, as well as experience the fallout from them?

Bottom  line: Communicate goals, concretely. Communicate individual and team accountability, specifically. Manage obstacles to success, whether interpersonal, operational, or financial, fairly. Focus on results.

Get used to not having all the answers. You’re in this job to ask the right questions in a clear, efficient, and effective way. Your team has the answers.

A strong team has complementary strengths: interpersonal, problem solving, and technical. It’s not likely that each employee will possess all three. That’s the value and wisdom of  teamwork. That’s synergy. That’s what you might discover on a crisp day during an outdoor “team building” exercise. The challenge is discovering it on the job, and celebrating it when you do.

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Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Fences Make Good Neighbors…Sometimes!

Good fences make good neighbors. Sometimes.

I’ve been living at the same address for over twenty years. The fence moved in before I did. It was sturdy, redwood, interwoven, and taller than I am. I knew my back neighbors only by the top of their hats: baseball in summer and woolen in winter. They couldn’t have known me by much more.

One day we met, kind of. The top of my head spoke with the tops of theirs and we talked about our enduring fence and what if we just… took it down. We considered the pros and looked at the cons and decided the whatif’s? were greater than the sowhat’s?

Whatif I got a dog and you got a baby? Whatif you sold your house or I sold mine and one of us needed a fence because the new neighbors were mean and nasty? It’s too risky. It’s better to leave well enough alone. Maybe it’s supposed to be that way. After all, good fences make good neighbors…

In late spring, a storm came, and when it left, it took the fence with it. For many days we busied ourselves in the aftermath, chopping, stacking and hauling until finally, we looked up and saw ourselves face to face over a space that once had separated us.

Nowwhat? How would we relate without the walled protection of whatif’s and sowhat’s?

Across the country companies are consolidating their holdings and closing the divide that separates departments and business units. The motive to merge comes from a logical look at the bottom line; it’s cheaper to operate under one roof than many. If you work in closer proximity to what you make, market, and ship you’re more likely to talk to each other about what you know, do, and need. Or so it would seem.

People tend to hold onto the old ways, the established, institutionalized ways; the good fences make good neighbors ways. Instead of crossing over invisible lines, departments and business units remain protective of what was. Barriers, real and imagined, remain in place.

What can you do to remove internal blocks to communication, whether real or perceived?

Observe that it’s happening.

Point out the obvious.

Point out the obvious to the oblivious.

Get together with the oblivious and the obtuse.

Learn their objections.

Overcome the obstructions.

Develop mutual, agreed upon objectives.

Reap the benefits

If what you do is what you did, what you’ll get is what you got.

Communication is the most basic, fundamental, foundational, no cost, no frills tool you have at your disposal. Use it wisely and use it well.

“This is what we do over here and (keep it simple) this is how we do it. Here’s what we need from you to do our job and to help you do yours. What do you do, and what do you need from us?”

If you insist that good fences make good neighbors, the least you can do is install a gate that opens both ways.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

You’ll Get the Outcome You Have in Mind

What outcome do you have in mind? You need to know, because that’s the outcome you’re going to get.

By means of illustration, I have a story for you. It’s called, “The Pineapple.”

One day Alice (I’ve changed the name to protect the bold) went to her favorite grocery store to buy a pineapple. She took it home and sliced it open. It was one bad piece of fruit. Rotten to the core. She called the store manager, described the pineapple’s condition and asked if he would like her to return it for a refund.

“There’s no need,” he said, “we trust you. Just remind us when you come in and we’ll be glad to refund your money or deduct the amount from your next purchase. We sincerely apologize for this inconvenience. We’ll look forward to seeing you soon.”

Alice was disappointed with the pineapple and very satisfied with the manager’s gracious response.

The next day, and because she was in the neighborhood, she stopped at another location of this favorite store. She selected another pineapple and told the check out clerk of her conversation with the sister store’s manager.

“Where’s your receipt?” said the clerk. “We can’t refund your money or exchange a product without a receipt.”

Alice was startled by the abrupt reply, but explained the situation again, indicating that she had not kept her grocery store receipt, never expecting to have to prove her pineapple purchase.

“We cannot do anything without a receipt,” said the clerk, “store policy.”

Alice asked for the store manager.

He appeared immediately, if somewhat impatiently, and quickly asked Alice to explain her problem. She described the pineapple, as she had to the first manager, and indicated her desire to exchange it for a healthy one.

The manager asked for a receipt from the first purchase. “It’s policy,” he said, “store policy.”

Alice, embarrassed and annoyed by the direction this was taking, asked, “Do you think I’m trying to cheat you out of the price of a pineapple?”

The manager did not respond to her question and repeated his request for a receipt or the case was closed. As he turned to leave, Alice made a request by suggesting:

“Here is my card. I’m the President and CEO of a fairly large company that operates in this area. Every year during the holidays, I present hundreds of gift certificates from your store, to my employees, vendors, and account representatives. If you’ll check your records you will see that this amounts to considerably more than the price of a pineapple.”

The store manager slowly turned to face Alice. This time his response was quite different.

“I didn’t know that. I’ll refund your money, or you can take a new pineapple, whichever you prefer.”

The manager followed her to the parking lot, pleading that she allow him to refund her money. “Take a fresh pineapple!” he begged. “Take two!”

“No”, said Alice, “you didn’t trust me or value me until you realized that I represent significant income for your store. You have lost me as a customer. How many other customers have you lost in your desire to save the cost of a pineapple?”

What outcome do you seek? Any strength, overused, becomes its own liability. Whether you’re selling tires, automobiles, or pineapples, overindulge your quest for cost savings and cost efficiencies, and you’ll save money at the expense of customer service, satisfaction, dedication, and loyalty.

Short term gain, long term loss. You do the math.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

 Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Networking Your Way Into a New Career

Networking: the expression is abused, misused and under-explained.

What is it and why should you care?

Networking is the best way to find a job, change jobs, or even change careers. Doing it right takes time, patience, and persistence. Doing it wrong is a waste of effort, energy, and opportunity.

Networking means having focused conversations with individuals who can directly or indirectly influence the direction of your career search.

Networking means finding people whose character and competencies are similar to yours. It’s learning how they successfully achieved what they attempted. It’s brain-storming for new directions to take, steps to make and people to meet. It’s finding perspectives that are fresh, objective, and experienced.

Is it worth your time? Nearly 80% of career opportunities are found through networking. You do the math.

What’s involved?

Begin by calling people you know and respect and asking them to have a brief meeting with you.

(“Alan, I’ve known you for several years and value your perspective. I’d like to sit down with you, for a half hour or so, and ask you some questions as well as discuss some ideas that I have. Are you open to that?”)

You don’t have all the answers, you have the questions, and that’s why you are asking for the meeting.

Where do you begin?

Make a list of appropriate people to contact.

Make a case for the purpose of your call and the outcome you seek.

Design questions that lead to the result you want.

Here’s a tip:

Don’t ask for a job. Don’t ask who’s hiring. Don’t turn your quest into their problem. They’ll resent your call and cross three streets to avoid you in the future.

Follow through. If you’re someone who’s a natural at follow through you’ll like this networking assignment. If you aren’t, get a grip and make a plan. This is about your future. Place the call. Ask the questions. Set up the meeting. Listen, learn. Ask for another contact. Then follow through.

It’s going to feel ambiguous to some of you. You may feel uneasy and unwilling to risk stepping out and stepping up. I’m asking you to take a chance when there’s no way to fail and no place to fall.

The best thing about this assignment is that you get a chance to not have all the answers because you’re not supposed to have them. The reason you are networking is to call on people who can teach you what you don’t know.

If the first person you speak with isn’t much help , the next one might be. You have one job to do right now: ask questions that relate what you do best to where you can do it next. Here are a few examples:

“I can provide you many examples of times that my problem solving has saved company time and money. What kinds of organizations are you aware of, that could benefit from my ability to do that?”

“My skill sets are specific to one industry, but my strengths apply to many. I’ve coached employees to come from behind, and against the odds, to achieve their goals. I’d like to work for a company that values that in an employee. Where would you suggest that I look? Who do you suggest that I talk to?”

Tell your story. Tell it in a way that grabs the listener’s attention and causes them to say, “tell me more.”

If they’re listening, you’re on the right track. If they mention a company and a person to call, you’ve got some momentum. If they want to make that call for you, you’re really getting somewhere. Go the distance.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

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