Respect, Honesty, & Loyalty

Respect, honesty, and loyalty are value- laden words that mean different things to different people for different reasons:

“My boss doesn’t respect me”, she said. “He’s hurtful, he makes me angry and I don’t want him anywhere near me.”

He doesn’t respect her. From what she said and how she said it I assumed he used foul language and called her demeaning and humiliating names. I asked her for some examples of what he had said or done that had been so offensive.

“He never listens! I try to share my perspectives with him and he’s already sharing his with me. I try to tell him how I think the work should be done and he’s telling me his version of what right ought to look like. He’s so disrespectful I just can’t stand it.”

He doesn’t respect her because she thinks he doesn’t listen to her. I get it. And what I get is different from what I thought she meant. Instead of dealing with harassment, a hostile work environment, and a trip to the local EEOC, she’s describing issues better addressed through assertiveness training for her and constructive feedback for him.

“My employee isn’t honest”, said this boss. Not honest? This sounds like a case of deception, maybe a little pilfering, password violations, or worse… this could involve breaking and entering; grand theft auto; we could have another Enron on our hands. Just to be on the safe side, I asked him to give me some examples of what he meant by “isn’t honest”.

“Like I said, he’s not honest. He thinks he’s doing a better job at work than he is. He’s deceiving himself if he thinks he’s going to get a promotion anytime soon.”

OK. I got ahead of myself. It’s not that the boss thinks his employee is a crook. He’s saying that his employee isn’t self- aware; that how he sees himself differs from how others see him, and that difference can keep him from advancing to the next level.

“It really bothers me that our employees aren’t loyal”, said the store manager. Aren’t loyal? They must be out for themselves; leaving to join the competition; sharing company secrets; going on line with pictures or stories better kept under wraps. Before I get carried away I better check out my presumptions; ask for a few examples of what she means when she says they ‘aren’t loyal’.

“Not loyal…” she says, with the tight lipped cadence of an exasperated mom to a forty year old who doesn’t get the concept of don’t- play-in- traffic, “means they don’t realize work isn’t done until it’s done. Our leadership demands that we show our loyalty everyday by working however many hours it takes to complete the mission; coming in early and staying into the night, if need be. We have no patience with people who (and here’s where she’s pointing her finger and slowing down to be absolutely understood) aren’t loyal enough to recognize that for most of us, making the company money affords us the right to enjoy a personal life, not the other way around.”

Oops. That’s not where I thought she was going.  And it’s a good thing that I asked because when I’m in a rush, saying “got it” when I don’t, I end up confusing other people’s intentions with my definitions.

“But I assumed that’s what you meant”, is an excuse for taking a direction or making a decision based on our mistaken impressions. “What I thought you said” is a lame way of blaming someone else for obscuring a message that we didn’t take sufficient time to clarify.

Rude Behavior 2

Last week I described a job candidate I’ll call Sam, who was flabbergasted to find he’d been eliminated from competition because the interviewer viewed his behavior as unacceptable.

This is Sam’s version of what happened: Sam had a busy morning and as a result, was late getting to his interview. When he arrived, the receptionist asked him to wait for an escort to Human Resources. Several minutes passed before he was accompanied to the interviewer’s office where again he was asked to wait. The interviewer had an emergency that he needed to address.

Sam had scheduled another interview with a company across town and he had one hour remaining to get there on time. As the minutes ticked by Sam grew increasingly concerned that he’d miss it. As his anxiety mounted, so did the edgy attitude he displayed to the HR admin, who was making an effort to placate him. Out of frustration, he tried and failed to gain entrance to the interviewer’s office.  Finally, the interviewer agreed to see him, but didn’t give Sam an opportunity to present anything but his resume, indicating that “he had seen enough”, and over Sam’s heated objections and adamant refusal to leave, had him escorted to the parking lot.

What can you learn from Sam’s debacle? Plenty.

Manage your time wisely. Late arrivals and anxious attitudes are noted by everyone including the interviewer and take the interaction in the wrong direction.

Don’t schedule other appointments within three to four hours of your interview. You need to be available in case your meeting is delayed or the interviewer would like you to meet others on the screening team.

Don’t like to be kept waiting?  Occupy yourself by reading company related materials that are typically provided, or read a business magazine or newspaper.

Don’t cop an attitude and think you can later defend or explain your bad behavior.

It’s understandable that you’re frustrated when you arrive at your scheduled interview, on time, only to find that the interviewer isn’t ready for you. If you want the interview, if you believe you’re a good match to the opportunity, if you believe the company is one where you want to work, let go of your frustration. Let it go or it will reveal itself to those who observe you, even casually, and it can hurt your chances for success.

How you react to a negative situation begins with what you think about it. If you want to respond as someone calm and steady, you’ll need to think yourself that way. Change your perspective by envisioning how you want to (respectfully) treat others, how you want to (candidly) answer tough questions, and how you want to (politely/courageously) ask questions of others. Envision how you want to begin the meeting and how you want it to end.

Throughout this mental exercise, you’re neither irritated by, nor fixated on, how others are treating you badly. If you were to be, you’d lose personal power, energy, and control by turning it over to “them” and they win.

You’re right. Life isn’t fair. Good health, wealth, luck, and happiness aren’t equally distributed. It is what it is. We don’t know what demons those who would appear to have it all, struggle with, and we don’t need to know. It’s enough that we struggle with our own.

Given that, we can only make the best choices we can, realizing that there are consequences for the ones that we make. The next time you’re interviewing and you’re ticked off by a company representative’s actions or lack of them, and you’re itching to say something that will show them how wrong they are, take a deep breath and do something far more constructive: show them how a class act behaves.

Woah, Time Out!

Last week I described a job seeker who’s currently employed and absolutely miserable. She blames her distress on her boss. She describes him as “arrogant, dismissive, rude, and insulting” and vows not to take it anymore. Her solution?

“I’m leaving. I have no idea what I’m going to do next but whatever it is, it can’t be worse than what I have here.”

Erin (not her real name) says she likes her work and is fairly compensated. She likes most of her colleagues and says the company makes a quality product.

She says that her boss, on rare occasions, compliments her, but that’s not enough to make up for his contentious behavior.

Erin’s not alone in her desire to leave a bad situation without knowing where a better situation might be. That’s why she  suggested that you sit in on our conversation and see if it sheds light on something you may be struggling with…

Erin, you’ve been very clear about the reasons you want to leave.  Do you have any uncertainties about your decision?

“Yes. I don’t want to leave my friends and a job that I understand and do well. A search, particularly at my age, is daunting, and something I’d rather not have to do. I just don’t see anyway around it.”

Have you told your boss how you feel about his behavior?

“Tell him? I’d be scared to death. I wouldn’t know what to say! And I don’t know how he’d respond if I did say something.”

What’s the worst that could happen if you told him?

“The worst thing? He might yell, but I’m used to that.”

Would he fire you?

“No, I don’t think so. Maybe the worst thing is that I don’t know how to put my feelings into words. That’s why I don’t say anything.”

Do you deserve better treatment than you’re getting?

“Absolutely!”

Then let’s role- play the conversation:

Erin: Boss, don’t get angry. I want to tell you something that you might not like and I don’t want you to not like me and yell at me.

Boss: What is it? I’m busy.

Erin: Never mind.

“Joyce, I can’t do this. I don’t know what to say or how to say it and that’s why I’ve never said anything before now. It’s easier for me to leave than to face him.”

Would you stay if he treated you with respect and consideration?

“Yes. That’s all I’m asking for.”

Then ask for it.

Erin: Boss, I need you to treat me with respect and consideration.

Boss: Don’t I treat you right? I tell you you’re doing a good job. What else do you want from me?

Erin: I want you to talk to me in a calm voice. I want you to explain things clearly without insulting or demeaning me.

Boss: I talk to everyone that way! I talk to my wife and kids that way!

Erin: I don’t want you to talk to me that way. I work hard. I deserve respect.

Boss: You’re right, you do. But I can’t promise that I won’t lose my temper. Will you get bent out of shape if I do?

Erin: If you persist in making rude and insulting comments, I will leave this company.

Boss: I want you to stay. I’ll work on my temper.

Joyce: Erin, you’ve made real progress. We both know you can’t predict what your boss will say or control his responses to you. You can control what you’ll say and the decisions you’ll make. Are you ready to have that conversation with your boss?

Erin: Yes. Now that I’m prepared, I’ll meet with him tomorrow. And whatever the outcome, I’ll be more self-respecting. That’s the piece I’ve been missing all along.

Readers Respond to “No Excuses” Article

My August 8, 2010 career column in the Greensboro News & Record, entitled, “Excuses Get You Nowhere,” generated a few responses that I wanted to share with blog readers.  First, a few summary bullet points of the column if you don’t have time to click through to the News & Record:

• Excuses, no matter how valid, justified or prevalent, are your own worst enemy in finding a job.
• Take your excuses and find a way to respond to them.  The article gives a few ideas of how to do that.
• Take the time to know what you have to offer, come up with a positive and succinct way to present yourself to employers and then maintain a great attitude while doing it.

From a reader responding to the, “I can’t get a job because I am too old” excuse:

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to send this to me. I found it so interesting and really wanted to keep it because the time is coming soon that I will be out hitting the pavement looking for a job. I know I will voice these same excuses when I don’t get the job I want.

I just recently graduated Practical Nursing and am taking my boards soon and might even go back to school to finish a degree in Office Systems Technology, haven’t decided yet.

I am going to print this out to remind me that although I am fifty-seven years old, I am still the person for the job..

From a reader responding to the “I can’t get hired because I don’t have any experience” excuse:

I was given your article in the 8/8/2010 News and Record to read.  It is entitled “Excuses get you nowhere.”  I have a question regarding your recommendation of how to respond when applying for jobs, when one does not have job experience.  It seems as though many job listings state that experience is required.  Are you implying that one should apply and then address the issue of lack of experience?  If so, this could also be interpreted as the applicant not having the ability to follow directions.  Thanks in advance for your clarification of this point.

And my thoughts…

 

Thanks for writing and thanks in advance for being open to pursuing job opportunities in ways other than responding to on line postings… (the hardest way to get a job).

Consider this: the numbers of graduate and undergraduate contacts you’ve made through your academic progression.

The numbers of professors, instructors, and practitioners with whom you have worked and studied all these years.

Each of them likely know someone or several  who are in the field you are training to enter… who can not only refer you, but can be a reference for you… for a conversation, if not an interview.

This is the best way for you to find an opportunity that will provide you that essential ‘experience’.

No matter the business, industry, or area of specialization, people hire people. Relationships count.

Use them, in the best sense possible.

I appreciate all the emails and blog comments from readers — keep them coming!

 

 

Advice for the Advice-Giver

If you’re a frequent reader, you know that I typically offer advice to job seekers, providing strategies for getting and keeping jobs. I often suggest they contact you, as possible references, networking contacts, and prospective employers, and in turn, ask that when you offer your wisdom and perspective you’re doing it to help them stay on the road and out of the ruts they inevitably encounter.

It occurred to me that you might want a little advice too; about how to handle these calls, particularly the ones you’d rather not get, and to remind you that their job search is not your burden. Getting a job is up to them, not up to you. With that in mind and if it helps, here are some tactics you might want to consider when asked to perform a service you’d rather not do.

If you get a call from an acquaintance, a friend, or relative of a friend, who asks you to serve as a reference, pause. And in that pause, ask a few questions.

“I appreciate your considering me as a reference. Let’s talk about the kind of job you’re looking for so I can determine if I’m the right person to help you.”

Listen to caller’s response. If it’s fuzzy, incomplete, or ill considered, suggest that he clarify his objective (or rationale) and get back to you. If he does, and can make a good case for the job he seeks, indicate that you will be his reference with this qualification: “I am pleased to speak on your behalf. I will describe to the prospective employer how I know you and the degree to which I am aware of your experience and expertise. Will that work for you?” Whether it does or doesn’t, you’ve demonstrated care and consideration.

If the caller is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose social skills are impeccable, and skill sets are not, and you believe that she is better suited to different line of work than that to which she is applying, say so. And suggest that she ask her other references for feedback regarding her current objective. If you’re outnumbered, let her know that the other references would do a better job for her than you would.

If the person calling is someone who has worked for you in the past, whose skill sets are impeccable and social skills aren’t, ask what he has done to improve in that regard. If he indicates a targeted effort with positive response, indicate that you will speak positively about his technical prowess and that you are pleased to hear that he is becoming more effective in his communication style. Suggest that he would do well to have additional references who can speak to that aspect of his performance.

Use the same degree of honestly and cordiality with those who would ask to network with you. If you are open to the possibility, ask how you might be a resource. If the person doesn’t know, you may be in for a long meeting in which you do all the work. Instead, ask her to get back to you with a plan. If she does, and is clear about the outcome she intends be sure you’re comfortable with it. If you’re not, you’ll unwittingly un-do the good will and time you have expended.

On behalf of job seekers who respectfully ask their references for permission, and their networking contacts for time and perspective; to those of you who so graciously assist them, thank you. Thank you for working with them, encouraging them, and telling them the truth.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Bottom Line: You Didn’t Have a Bad Reference, It’s the Interview

Q:  I recently lost my job and have not been able to find another. I left my last job on not good terms with my former employer and I think they’re giving me a bad reference. I’ve had a couple of interviews with different companies and was told each time that I’d be getting a second interview. When I wouldn’t hear back I’d call and they’d tell me the position had been filled. Is there any way to prove my former employer is giving me a bad reference? How can I work around this? It’s been over a month and I need to get a job.

A:  Prospective employers screen applicants during the first interview and make their hiring decision after second and sometimes third interviews. If they’re going to check references, that’s when they’ll do it. Many past employers are hesitant to give work references on employees, good or bad, and limit the information they provide to only include dates of employment and job title or position.

Some prospective employers check credit reports and court records for evidence of behaviors that could negatively impact job performance. It takes time, money, and personnel to conduct these checks; three commodities that are in great demand and short supply. Therefore, only those candidates most likely to be hired are investigated. Bottom line, it’s not the reference that does you in, it’s the interview.

Most job loss applicants become apprehensive as they approach the interview, particularly when the economy is down and unemployment is on the rise. They worry most about what they can’t control; the questions they’ll be asked and those they ask themselves: “Was it the economy or was it me?” “Why was I laid off and others spared?” Worry undermines your sense of worth and narrows your perspective. Try as you might to camouflage your feelings, they show. What can you do?

Control what you can and let the rest of it go. Example: You’re worried about a reference that may or may not exist. Let it go, and if you can’t, do something about it. Call the individual who may have provided it. Indicate the (positive) lessons you’ve learned from your experience working for him, and what you’ll do differently going forward. It won’t change the past but it gives closure to it. Then, move on to what’s important; getting a job.

If you’re concerned that you’re coming across as depressed, angry, or anxious, you probably are. Your presentation may be muted; your affect, flat. If you typically feel centered and emotionally healthy, and believe your moods are tied to your employment concerns, make an appointment with a career professional who’s trained to answer your job related questions.

If you’re worried about your credit references, check them out. If you’re considered a credit risk and you’re seeking positions where that appearance can derail your job chances, get the financial assistance you need.

If those who know you and care about you have asked that you seek help from mental health professionals, do them or yourself a favor, make an appointment, today. There’s help out there for you and it’s up to you to get it.

You are not being held accountable for the American economy; you are not responsible for your company’s layoffs. Prospective employers aren’t looking to fix blame or find problems where they don’t exist. They have a job that needs doing and want to know if you can do it for them. Let them know you can by focusing the interview on your ability to be proactive and productive in ways that are measurable and quantifiable.

If you were fired and are asked “why?” be direct, honest, and succinct. Rather than blame yourself, your boss, or the company, briefly describe the situation, what you learned from it, and what you‘ll do differently going forward. Then turn the conversation to ways you can contribute to the company’s goals and objectives.

Every company that is hiring wants individuals who can work on their team, save them time and money, and contribute to their bottom line. That should be your focus, on the interview, and every day you’re on the job.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

 Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Job Search After a Felony

Q: “I’ve recently been released from prison and want to get back into my profession. I’ve been trying to re hone my skills but given my felony record am I just spinning my wheels? What do I say when I’m asked about the lapse in my employment?

A. You’re not spinning your wheels, you will find employment, and you will have some real challenges ahead. Let’s start with the first hurdles to overcome, and go from there:

Responsible employers will not want to put you, their employees, or the public the company serves, into situations that create the perception, real or imagined, of danger. Therefore, sit down with your parole officer and counselor before you interview. Identify work environments and interpersonal situations to avoid and those that are appropriate to approach. Candidly discuss the reasonable, practical, and emotional concerns that prospective employers and their employees might have, given your recent history. Prepare yourself to respond to those fears in ways that not only demonstrate self-awareness, but also describe the conscious changes you’ve made in your behavior and your ability to respond to others.

Address the lapses in your employment history in a truthful and straightforward way. You mentioned “rehoning your skills.” Describe how you’ve continued your education during and following the time you were imprisoned; and the preparations you have made for the career direction you are taking. Describe your past accomplishments and your ability to contribute to the future success of the company you’d like to join.

Your challenge, and it’s a big one, is getting the interviewer to focus on what you’re saying and not on where you’ve been and what got you there.

To accomplish that, address what concerns them most. Ask prospective employers to ask you any and all work related questions or concerns they have relative to your history in or out of prison. Ask them to describe the challenges they believe you will confront at their place of business. Then answer those concerns in an honest and forthright manner.

Q: I’m concerned about the application form. How can I answer the question about felonies so that my job application won’t get tossed as soon as my response is read?

A: Answer that question and every question truthfully. Will your application be tossed? It’s likely that it will. What can you do about it?

There’s more to all of us than can be demonstrated on an application or resume. Talk to the people who know you best, stood by you, and are willing to take a chance on you. Those individuals, directly or indirectly, may know people who hire people.

You’re asking for a chance to tell an employer your story: your work history, why you were arrested, what you’ve learned as a result, and your efforts to now make good on the rest of your life.

Q: How can I regain my self-respect? My confidence is gone. I’m afraid to get out there and tell my story. What can I do to move forward?

A: I’ve never been in your shoes. I cannot begin to know what you feel. But others have been there. Ask your parole officer and your counselor for help in finding individuals who have been able to make a successful transition and who would be willing to talk with you and counsel you through a very tough time.

I do know this. A comeback takes time, patience and incremental steps. It takes the capacity to accept responsibility and accountability for the choices that you’ve made in the past and will make in the future. It requires asking forgiveness from those you have, by intention or omission, caused physical pain or emotional suffering. It takes reaching out to those who are strong when you’re weak and tender when you’re hurt. It takes all that, and enough people who are willing to say, “I’ll give you another chance.”

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Networking Your Way Into a New Career

Networking: the expression is abused, misused and under-explained.

What is it and why should you care?

Networking is the best way to find a job, change jobs, or even change careers. Doing it right takes time, patience, and persistence. Doing it wrong is a waste of effort, energy, and opportunity.

Networking means having focused conversations with individuals who can directly or indirectly influence the direction of your career search.

Networking means finding people whose character and competencies are similar to yours. It’s learning how they successfully achieved what they attempted. It’s brain-storming for new directions to take, steps to make and people to meet. It’s finding perspectives that are fresh, objective, and experienced.

Is it worth your time? Nearly 80% of career opportunities are found through networking. You do the math.

What’s involved?

Begin by calling people you know and respect and asking them to have a brief meeting with you.

(“Alan, I’ve known you for several years and value your perspective. I’d like to sit down with you, for a half hour or so, and ask you some questions as well as discuss some ideas that I have. Are you open to that?”)

You don’t have all the answers, you have the questions, and that’s why you are asking for the meeting.

Where do you begin?

Make a list of appropriate people to contact.

Make a case for the purpose of your call and the outcome you seek.

Design questions that lead to the result you want.

Here’s a tip:

Don’t ask for a job. Don’t ask who’s hiring. Don’t turn your quest into their problem. They’ll resent your call and cross three streets to avoid you in the future.

Follow through. If you’re someone who’s a natural at follow through you’ll like this networking assignment. If you aren’t, get a grip and make a plan. This is about your future. Place the call. Ask the questions. Set up the meeting. Listen, learn. Ask for another contact. Then follow through.

It’s going to feel ambiguous to some of you. You may feel uneasy and unwilling to risk stepping out and stepping up. I’m asking you to take a chance when there’s no way to fail and no place to fall.

The best thing about this assignment is that you get a chance to not have all the answers because you’re not supposed to have them. The reason you are networking is to call on people who can teach you what you don’t know.

If the first person you speak with isn’t much help , the next one might be. You have one job to do right now: ask questions that relate what you do best to where you can do it next. Here are a few examples:

“I can provide you many examples of times that my problem solving has saved company time and money. What kinds of organizations are you aware of, that could benefit from my ability to do that?”

“My skill sets are specific to one industry, but my strengths apply to many. I’ve coached employees to come from behind, and against the odds, to achieve their goals. I’d like to work for a company that values that in an employee. Where would you suggest that I look? Who do you suggest that I talk to?”

Tell your story. Tell it in a way that grabs the listener’s attention and causes them to say, “tell me more.”

If they’re listening, you’re on the right track. If they mention a company and a person to call, you’ve got some momentum. If they want to make that call for you, you’re really getting somewhere. Go the distance.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

“I can’t find a job! Is it me or the economy?”

A recent caller wanted to know if she could blame the economy for her inability to find work. I told her that if it made her feel better to do so, please, be my guest. She said that it didn’t. She wanted to somehow get past the fact that there were so few jobs and so many people looking for them.

“I’m not a spendthrift,” she said. “I have bills to pay and no way to pay them unless I dip into savings. What can I do to get a decent job?”

We talked about her search and the obstacles she’s encountered. Much of what we discussed had universal application so I asked if I might share the conversation with you. She agreed.

Obstacle: How can high school graduates compete effectively when compared to college graduates?

Key word: Self-confidence. In this market, most companies are under the gun to keep expenses down and production up. They want to hire employees who can hit the ground running, who are as efficient as they are effective. They look for people who can combine strong work ethic with high-octane performance.  In other words, if you can sell yourself as energetic, focused, and flexible, with a track record to match, you are competitive.

Obstacle: How can you overcome a bad case of interview-jitters, particularly when you’ve always been scared of authority figures?

Key word: Focus.  Authority figures scare most of us. The trick is to remember that you’re a responsible adult, not a dependent child. The person sitting across the desk or standing across the room hasn’t the moral or legal authority to judge your beliefs or your behaviors unless you give them that right. They may approve or disapprove of your actions, but you get to choose what to do about it.

Focus on what you’re there to accomplish. Tell your story and don’t get hijacked by your emotions. Ask good questions. The best questions enable the interviewer to describe the challenges the company and department must confront and what they need and expect from their best employees. Then, respond according to your strengths and abilities.

Obstacle: When responding to ads, whether in print or the internet, I know I’m going up against hundreds of people who are as anxious for that job as am I. How can I move to the head of the line?

Keyword: Network. People who position themselves ahead of the crowd rely on and dedicate at least 80% of their search time to networking. Networking contacts can introduce you to decision makers who get you in the side door without your having to wait in line. Here are three examples of how it works: 1. Talk to people who work where you would like to work or know people who work there. If you don’t know who they are, (I realize they don’t walk around advertising the fact) ask people you know to help you find them. Next: tell the person why you’re interested in that particular company (have a few good reasons) and ask who you might speak to, to learn more about opportunities there. Note: you didn’t ask for an interview. You want a “conversation” to determine that there’s a match between what they need and what you do. 2. Talk to people who are supervisors or managers in their respective places of business. Describe what you do best and ask them for recommendations as to where you might look and with whom you might speak. 3. Talk to people you know personally and with whom you have a great deal in common. Describe what you do best, which, to no great surprise, is what they do best. Ask them to brainstorm with you regarding job possibilities and, hint, hint, who would be good personal leads for you to contact.

Obstacle: What can you do when you’re your own worst enemy?

Key word: Affirmations. Negative self-talk does you more damage than what anyone possibly could think or say about you. Believe in yourself, and say so. Believe that each encounter you have, each meeting, each interview, is a positive opportunity for something good to follow, and tell yourself so. 

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Be A Team Player

Most people consider themselves team players. Many of their team-mates disagree.

Patrick Lencioni, in his book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, does a deep dive into what produces highly functional teams as well as what creates dysfunction.  He lists behaviors that derail the best of intentions as 1. Absence of trust. 2. Fear of conflict. 3. Lack of commitment 4. Avoidance of accountability and 5. Inattention to results.

In For Your Improvement, A Guide for Development and Coaching, Mike M. Lombardo and Robert W. Eichinger describe common characteristics of high performance teams: A shared mindset and common vision; you trust each other, pitch in and help even though it may be difficult for you. You’re honest with each other and talk about problems directly without going behind each other’s back. You have the collective talent to do the job and know how to operate efficiently and effectively. You have good team skills, run effective meetings, have efficient ways to communicate and have ways to deal with internal conflict.

What does this have to do with your ability to get a job and keep it? Plenty. Interviewers look for team players who know when to stand up and lead, step back and follow, and step in when time is short and deadlines are pressing. They want independent self- starters who perform interdependently. They want employees who are emotionally aware, supportive, considerate, open to learning, willing to change, and ready to help when the need arises.

Interviewers are cognizant that their organization’s success requires employees with the willingness to collaborate and use their collective wisdom to be visionary and bottom line; their analytical abilities to evaluate risk and reward; their clarity, passion, and trustworthiness to lead others through change; and their operational skills to streamline function and simplify process that gets the team where it needs to go on time and under budget.

Just as there’s more to a job than an advertisement can explain, there’s more to you than your resume can describe. Because of that you’ll have to prove yourself in more ways than your resume can testify. You’ll need to make your case by providing the evidence that supports your statements. You’ll need to use the right words, tone and inflection to tell a story that’s as compelling as it is engaging.

Talking a good game won’t land the job unless you have the stats to prove your worth. Prepare for your networking meetings, phone screenings, and interviews by reconstructing examples of your most challenging experiences and highlighting the roles you’ve played as an individual contributor and a team player.

Keep in mind, the interviewer is looking for individuals who possess specific skills as well as characteristics that indicate their ability to lead self and others, manage tasks and processes, and to at all times, be a team player.

How can you incorporate all this in an interview? Let’s say that you’re asked to describe a situation in which you performed at your best. You’ll come across as a team player when you share credit with those who blocked, tackled, and provided support as well as encouragement.

If you’re asked to provide an example of a situation in which you didn’t succeed and describe the reasons why, you come across as a team player when you accept responsibility for the role you played instead of blaming your teammates.

Regardless of your age, gender, nationality, or experience, the company that hires you expects you to be as committed to your work as you are to the people with whom you work. They expect you to recognize that mutually supportive, goal focused teams that pull in the same direction consistently outperform any one of the individuals who play on them.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Next Page »