The Best of Intentions

The best of intentions can result in unintended consequences. For example:

Mister Fixer: You may be their manager but they think of you as the company handyman. You encourage them to come to you with their problems because you can fix anything. You wear your tool belt to work, at home, and in public gatherings. No matter the situation, you have the solution. What can go wrong? It’s not much fun when your co-workers, friends, and neighbors start handing all their work to you, assuming you want to do it for them. They’ll stop shirking responsibility when you stop inviting them to.

You’re everyone’s shrink. You’re the warmest, most comforting listener in the business. Your eyes mist over as you hear your employees’ woes and worries, hopes and desires. You really, really, really want to be there for them. What can go wrong? You can’t get a lick of work done for all that listening. If the situation isn’t an emergency, and it seldom is, defer the conversation to a more suitable time. And don’t be surprised or disappointed when that needy employee finds someone else to talk to.

You can’t say, “No” You have an endless capacity to do for others. You also have an endless need to be approved by others. Instead of saying “no” when your plate’s spilling over, you’re answering with the emotional equivalent of “pile it on, I’ll get a bigger platter.” What can go wrong? You get buried in other people’s projects and you’re still at work long after they’ve gone home. Get a life! You’ll be more productive and so will they.

You don’t ask questions. You figure that if you keep your eyes open and your mouth shut no one will know what you don’t know and you’ll keep your job. What can go wrong? Employers want employees who speak up and let them know when there’s trouble afoot. Be bold, step out of your shadow, ask questions, get answers, and be a visible, audible, stand up member of your team.

You can’t be bothered. You’re busy doing your job and you can’t be bothered with other people’s problems. What can go wrong? This one has “blindside” written all over it. Take time, every day, to find out what’s going on around you so you’ll know if you need to be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem.

“I’m smarter than you are”. You have a habit of letting everyone know you’re the smartest person in the room. What can go wrong? No one cares if you’re smart when you make everyone else feel dumb.  Since the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and you’re just one of the parts, learn how to bring out the best parts in others.

“I didn’t know it was due today and I don’t know how to do it so will you do it for me?” You’ve turned helpless irresponsibility into a virtue only you value. What can go wrong? Your future. If you don’t know how to do something, find out, learn how, practice it, and teach it to someone else. If you’re the last one to discover what everyone else knows, meet with your boss, talk with your co-workers; ask questions, confirm assumptions, and share ideas.

“That’s not my job.” This is my job. That’s your job. Don’t touch my job with your job ‘cause you’ll mess up my job. I get paid to do my job. I don’t get paid to do your job. What is your job? Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. What can go wrong? What part of TEAM don’t you understand?

She’s the Best

Want to be the best at what you do?

“She’s the best boss I’ve had because she’s as open-minded as she is clear about expectations. I always know where I stand with her because she’s willing to tell me the truth in ways that I understand. She’s never hurtful, always constructive, and trusts my ability to learn and grow on the job.”

“He’s the best manager I’ve had because he keeps us informed and encourages us to do the same with him. We don’t have to be concerned about personal agendas or blindsiding when working with him; it’s always about what’s best for the organization, and because of that, we get on board quickly when transitioning through change.”

“She’s one of the best leaders I’ve had the pleasure to follow. Change is the name of the game here, and we know that whatever direction we head, she’ll be focused on the end-in-mind. Because of that, and her sure-footedness, we’re lined up with her.”

“He’s a great supervisor. He knows what he knows and as importantly, he knows what he doesn’t know, and empowers those of us with complementary capacities to step up, close the gap, and work together to move us toward successful outcomes.”

“He’s really a youngster when compared to the rest of us on his work team, but he can teach us old war-horses a thing or two when it comes to optimism, energy, and a can-do attitude. He’s a great team builder, respectful of the intelligence and wisdom of his seniors and at the same time able to motivate us to achieve more than we have or thought ourselves capable. He makes us feel hopeful about the future. I wish he were my grandson, that’s how proud I am of him.”

“She’s a natural leader. She’s honest and respectful; she can see the big picture and at the same time can help us to see what it takes to achieve it. She knows when to be hands on and when to be hand-off. She understands what the people around her need to get their jobs done and she provides it. Sometimes that translates to getting us the physical and financial resources we need. Other times it’s encouragement and a well placed kick in the derriere. Whatever the situation, she’s pitch perfect in her delivery. “

“Sometimes the best leaders are the most humble. Our manager is one of those. He’s understated in his manner yet so clear in his commitment to excellence and in his belief in our ability to perform at the highest levels of excellence, that he motivates us to consistently give our best.”

“We’re going through enormous change in our organization and as we all know, change can create stress. I won’t kid you, we’re stressed here, but we’re able to keep it together because of our boss. She’s capable, calm, and considerate and because of that, we’re able to behave in ways that emulate her spirit. I’ve worked in other businesses where change equated to high turnover. Not here. Thanks in large part to our boss’s sure and steady hand.”

“I don’t know if you’d call our supervisor a leader or a top notch manager. I just know I’d always want to have him next to me in a fire-fight. I’ve never seen anyone as able to quickly anticipate what’s required and quickly respond with resources that meet the need. He’s a great trouble shooter, knows which fires are apt to turn into conflagrations and which will burn out on their own accord. He makes change exciting and preventive maintenance a talent worth rewarding.”

Attitude Counts

You are the language you speak. If you talk about can’t and don’t, you won’t.

If you talk about go and do, you will. You are the language you believe. If you focus on limitations, you’ll operate within and be constrained by the assumptions you have about yourself and others. If you presume that you can do no wrong you’ll be insensitive to the negative impact of your best intentions. If you believe there isn’t much you can do right you’ll practice what you do wrong. How do you see yourself? As a problem to be solved? A gift to be appreciated?  A mystery to be explored? An inventor, sustainer, investigator? And how do you perceive others? As encouragers, enablers; barriers; receivers, transmitters?

As the saying goes, “if what you always do is what you’ve always done, what you’ll always be is what you’ve always been.” When it comes to looking for a job you’ll need to be more than your mental models command. Dare to question the assumptions your teachers, family and friends have instilled within you if they limit you and what may be possible for you to attain. Set aside assumptions of negative stereotypes of employers, work, the workplace, and your place in it. Visualize yourself in a different and better future and see yourself as whole, resourceful, supportive, positive and succeeding, working with people who are as you picture yourself to be.

If cynicism, pessimism, or fear is getting in your way, put it on hold while you give this a try: Take yourself back to a time and place when life was working for you: when you felt included, capable, and as good about yourself as others felt good about you. What were the circumstances that contributed to your feeling competent, valued, and integral to a team? Who was involved, how did you make a difference, what did you enjoy doing?  Capture it. Take this experience and convert it into energy you can draw on now.

Using the past as a springboard to the present, describe yourself to your networks and prospective employers as someone who has demonstrated the potential that exists within you. Combine the best of what you’ve done with the elements that bring out the best in who you are. Connect with people who in turn know people who know of opportunities where you can deliver on that promise.

Stay open and broaden your thinking.  Life long learners find pathways to expand their horizons in real or virtual terms that closed-end thinkers miss. Life long learners tap into the wisdom of best business practices; into the creativity of artisans and inventors; into the enterprise of entrepreneurs; into the systems and process thinking of engineers. They are open to, seek out, and find opportunities for formal and informal, individual study and group discussion. They read about and talk to individuals whose contributions have added value to their respective fields of endeavor, locally, regionally, nationally and internationally; that include (and are not limited to) business, technology, science, health and human services, travel, sport, education, the arts, government, politics, religion, community and public service.

Take a chance and do something, somewhere, that you’ve not dared before; open the doors and the windows and introduce yourself to locations, foods, traditions, modes of travel, styles of dress, opinions, concepts, and belief systems that you’ve not earlier experienced and see what happens. You won’t be the same and you don’t have to be different; but you will have access to potential that enables you move through change with a grace you’ve not earlier experienced. You’ll not only survive; you’ll thrive. Try it. You have everything to gain.

You are the Language

You are the language you speak. If you talk about can’t and don’t, you won’t.

If you talk about go and do, you will. You are the language you believe. If you focus on limitations, you’ll operate within and be constrained by the assumptions you have about yourself and others. If you presume that you can do no wrong you’ll be insensitive to the negative impact of your best intentions. If you believe there isn’t much you can do right you’ll practice what you do wrong. How do you see yourself? As a problem to be solved? A gift to be appreciated?  A mystery to be explored? An inventor, sustainer, investigator? And how do you perceive others? As encouragers, enablers; barriers; receivers, transmitters?

As the saying goes, “if what you always do is what you’ve always done, what you’ll always be is what you’ve always been.” When it comes to looking for a job you’ll need to be more than your mental models command. Dare to question the assumptions your teachers, family and friends have instilled within you if they limit you and what may be possible for you to attain. Set aside assumptions of negative stereotypes of employers, work, the workplace, and your place in it. Visualize yourself in a different and better future and see yourself as whole, resourceful, supportive, positive and succeeding, working with people who are as you picture yourself to be.

If cynicism, pessimism, or fear is getting in your way, put it on hold while you give this a try: Take yourself back to a time and place when life was working for you: when you felt included, capable, and as good about yourself as others felt good about you. What were the circumstances that contributed to your feeling competent, valued, and integral to a team? Who was involved, how did you make a difference, what did you enjoy doing?  Capture it. Take this experience and convert it into energy you can draw on now.

Using the past as a springboard to the present, describe yourself to your networks and prospective employers as someone who has demonstrated the potential that exists within you. Combine the best of what you’ve done with the elements that bring out the best in who you are. Connect with people who in turn know people who know of opportunities where you can deliver on that promise.

Stay open and broaden your thinking.  Life long learners find pathways to expand their horizons in real or virtual terms that closed-end thinkers miss. Life long learners tap into the wisdom of best business practices; into the creativity of artisans and inventors; into the enterprise of entrepreneurs; into the systems and process thinking of engineers. They are open to, seek out, and find opportunities for formal and informal, individual study and group discussion. They read about and talk to individuals whose contributions have added value to their respective fields of endeavor, locally, regionally, nationally and internationally; that include (and are not limited to) business, technology, science, health and human services, travel, sport, education, the arts, government, politics, religion, community and public service.

Take a chance and do something, somewhere, that you’ve not dared before; open the doors and the windows and introduce yourself to locations, foods, traditions, modes of travel, styles of dress, opinions, concepts, and belief systems that you’ve not earlier experienced and see what happens. You won’t be the same and you don’t have to be different; but you will have access to potential that enables you move through change with a grace you’ve not earlier experienced. You’ll not only survive; you’ll thrive. Try it. You have everything to gain.

Work the Hardest

If you’d like to improve your working life with a job that’s a good match to your skills, abilities, and temperament but the thought of interviewing has you stuck in neutral, work hardest on what you fear most:

If you don’t how to respond to open ended questions, get a list of them and get to work on your responses. Get them so grooved that you can’t wait for a chance to answer them, in fact, create opportunities to answer them.

If you’re so introverted you can’t bear the thought of networking, stop reading this column right now and make an appointment with someone who can help you find a job.

If you’re a first class procrastinator and arrive late for every appointment you make, change your behavior today. All day. Everyday.  When you give your word, honor your obligation. You’re defined by your actions, not by your best intentions.

If you see yourself as a non-conformist, wearing clothes that fit your mood rather than fitting the occasion, change your mood to business casual. Keep your mood there for as long as it takes to get a job.

If you struggle to smile because you’re not into smiling, think of something funny, and beam, grin, and laugh out loud. Get into the habit of having something pleasant plastered across your face.

If you can’t seem to stop talking when you’re nervous, work on calming your nerves. Turn apprehension into aspiration. Role-play your practice sessions with a live audience; invite individuals from a variety of experiences and backgrounds to grill you until you’re well done.  And know this: if you’re really prepared you should expect to feel tension before show time; that means you’re anxious to enjoy the experience.

If you’re talking in circles instead of getting to the point, you don’t know the point you’re trying to make. Figure out where you’re going before you start talking, then begin your response with your conclusion.

If you rely on joke telling to lighten the mood and your idea of funny doesn’t match that of most interviewers, take the hint, don’t tell jokes.  Instead, follow the interviewer’s lead. If she asks questions, answer them. If she asks for explanations, give them. If she asks you to tell a joke, take a pass.

If you have trouble listening to what others are saying, you’re engaging in the conversation that’s going on in your head. When you interview (and any time you’re with others) focus on the speaker, and confirm your understanding of questions or viewpoints by restating what they’ve said before responding with your perspective.

If you over-sell your interest and over-toot your talent, you’ll wind up with a job that breaks you down, burns you up, or bums you out. An interview should be a discussion aimed at evaluating qualifications that determine fit; those of the applicant for the job, as well as the job for the applicant.

If your interview style is “I have a hammer and you don’t” and hitting people over the head isn’t getting you any job offers, put down that hammer. Instead of coming across as a tell-all, know-it-all, let the interviewer be the expert. Ask open-ended questions and listen, probe to learn more, stroke your chin, and say things like, “ahhh, yes, I understand…”.

Two of the biggest mistakes you can make on an interview are thinking you have the answers when you don’t know what the problems are, and thinking you know the problems when you don’t know what the answers are. Change your thinking and you’ll improve your prospects for success.

Start & Stop

If you want to start doing something, you need to stop doing what was getting in the way. Some of these ideas might get you going or encourage you to adopt a few starts and stops of your own:

Start focusing on long- term objectives and figure out strategies to get there. Stop focusing on short- term goals at the expense of what’s important, long term.

Start focusing on your total presence, your confidence, capabilities, and ways of expressing yourself.  Stop limiting your focus to appearance, how good you look, how smartly you dress.

Start driving for the right results for the right reasons. Stop getting so hung up on the right reasons that you end up with the wrong results.

Start simplifying complexity. Stop making the simple needlessly complex.

Start aligning your strengths with your goals. Stop playing out of position.

Start saying what you think. Stop assuming that others can read your mind.

Start watching bottom line while you drive top line. Stop insisting on one at the expense of the other.

Start balancing empowerment with controls. Stop overdoing empowerment at the expense of controls.

Start celebrating small wins. Stop waiting for something to celebrate.

Start accepting accountability for the mistakes you make. Stop blaming others for your role in a flawed outcome.

Start rewarding transparency. Stop encouraging opacity.

Start leveraging team strengths. Stop focusing on team weaknesses.

Start reading your audience. Stop playing to your audience.

Start focusing on follow through. Stop dropping the ball after a strong beginning.

Start checking in. Stop checking out.

Start inviting, including, inspiring. Stop shutting up, shutting out, shutting down.

Start with a vision and follow with the mission. Stop changing course every time you hit a roadblock.

Start looking for balance in perspective. Stop worrying that balanced perspective means they win and you lose.

Start apologizing when you make a mess. Stop acting like apology is a sign of weakness.

Start accepting credit when you do a good job. Stop taking credit for someone else’s good job.

Start giving others the benefit of the doubt. Stop doubting the benefit of giving.

Start dealing directly with difficult issues. Stop thinking they’ll go away if you avoid them.

Start having fun. Stop waiting for an after life to enjoy life.

Start taking vacations. Stop acting like exhaustion is a virtue.

Start turning on the lights. Stop thinking bad ideas look better with the lights off.

Start taking action. Stop confusing avoidance with a constructive response.

Start talking to co-workers. Stop emailing them.

Start building ideas on fresh perspectives. Stop finding problems with every idea. Start letting go of bad outcomes. Stop holding on to flawed ideas.

Start opening lines of communication. Stop pulling the plug on discussion.

Start mugging problems. Stop mugging people.

Start working on what’s most important. Stop wasting time on busy work.

Start doing things that give you energy. Stop spending time on what takes more energy than it’s worth.

Start doing more of what you do best. Stop forcing yourself to do what others do better.

Start asking expansive questions that broaden the discussion. Stop asking closed questions that are self- serving.

Start showing respect for other people’s opinions. Stop interrupting the flow of ideas.

Start demonstrating confidence. Stop aggrandizing arrogance.

Start combining courage with consideration. Stop acting like disrespect is a sign of strength.

Start practicing the art of apology. Stop playing games with the role of responsibility.

Start talking about what’s right with people. Stop looking for what’s wrong in people.

Start tomorrow with what doesn’t have to begin today. Stop worrying today about what tomorrow has time to consider.

Start saying please and thank-you. Stop assuming courtesy is kids stuff.

In a Jam

“I read your column and wonder if you get people like me out of a jam.”

That prompted my curiosity and I asked her to describe, “people like me”.

“People who are so lost they don’t know where to start. I’m a college graduate and I can’t believe I’m earning minimum wage in a dead-end job. I’m stuck, and I want to know if you can get me out of this mess.”

Her tone was strident, and as she punched each word though the telephone, she continued.

“I have a liberal arts degree that didn’t prepare me for work, parents who keep saying ‘I told you so’, and a dog that just ruined the sofa that I borrowed from my aunt, who will probably disown me when she finds out. Can you get me out of this mess?”

I explained that career counselors ask questions, provide assessments, clarify issues, offer perspective, give counsel, discuss strategy, and outline tactical approaches for job and career search. It’s up to their clients to decide which, if any, behaviors they’re willing to change, and actions they’re willing to take. Bottom line, she’d have to doing things differently if she wanted a better outcome.

I offer her lament, with her permission, as description of one that you or someone you know may be experiencing as well.

The issue: You feel lost and don’t know where to begin in your search for something better than the place you find yourself.

The goal: To know what you want, where you’d want to work, and what you have capacity for doing best.

The rules: Be flexible, proactive, and responsive; know your goal, set your objectives, readjust as you go, and  keep your eye on the prize.

The process: If you don’t know what you do best, get help, now. If you prefer to kick- start your thinking by reading, you can find books and career interest/vocational surveys on line, in bookstores and libraries.  If you’re overwhelmed by the number and variety and don’t know where to direct your attention, get free, human assistance:  ask librarians to direct you toward the appropriate titles and sources.

Once you’ve gotten a handle on what makes sense for you, based on your innate strengths, learned skills, and potential for development, you’re either ready to launch your search or ready to talk to someone about how to launch it. You can find those folks in private practice (look for Career Coaches/Counselors), and if you’re a student, in the career or guidance office of your respective schools.

If you’re more extraverted and want to think by talking, find the right people for the right reasons.  To maximize your time and that of others, and the probability that your discussion will yield a positive outcome, talk and listen to people who know you, are willing and interested in knowing more about you, who are savvy to the world of work and the necessities and intricacies of job search and willing to offer you their candid perspective.

Network, network, network. Once you understand what you do well, or have aptitude for but limited experience doing,  find people who currently have the job you’d want. If you don’t know who they are, network your way toward them and when you get there, make the most of the time you have together by asking  their advice for making the transition.

Changing career direction or finding the right job after a string of wrong ones may require additional schooling, apprenticeships, and working your way up from ground level. It’s not the stuff of miracles, chance meetings, or sheer luck. It takes hard work and daring to meet the right people to ask the right questions to take the right actions. And it’s worth it.

What’s Your Attitude?

Everyone has an attitude. How you project that attitude has enormous influence on how you are perceived. Those perceptions and interpretations by prospective employers make the difference between a winning interview, and one that doesn’t quite get it.

Attitudes are influenced by events and your reactions to them. You may be a great communicator, a motivating team builder, and an all around wonderful catch, but if you’re stuck in a bad place, all those attributes go up in smoke, replaced by behaviors that aren’t nearly as appealing. Under stress and duress you can act withdrawn, impatient, easily distracted, irritable, and cynical, second- guessing the motives of people you typically trust and value. Or you can take on the attitudes of the (pseudonyms) Ted, Chris, Janet, or Jake:

After twenty- five years with the same company, Ted was laid off. He had depended on the job for an income, insurance, retirement, friendships, and identity. Now it’s all gone. He says he doesn’t blame the company, they did what they had to do, that’s he’s moved on with his life.  Has he?

“No, to tell the truth, I’m not over it. They could have done a lot of things differently. Lots of folks saw problems up ahead and no one seemed to be addressing them. Their answer to the economy, the competition, outdated equipment and outmoded strategy was ‘work harder’. Well, that didn’t work.

Maybe nothing could have saved us. The owners were good people. I know they didn’t want to let us go, and they didn’t want to lose a business they had worked all their adult lives to maintain. So, I don’t blame them. But I’m frustrated, angry and scared.”

How has your attitude impacted your interviews?

“I’m tentative. Cautious. I’m careful about what I say, careful about

how I act, careful about asking questions. The interviewer doesn’t get much of a read on me because I don’t let him.”

He’s right. And wrong. The interviewer does get a read and interprets Ted’s caution as not having the courage to make a decision, or the courage to question one. Ted comes across as a follower in need of strong direction. He won’t make the cut.

Chris has a different attitude. She believes that practice makes perfect so she practices for interviews the way she prepped for piano recitals, plays, and exams: Exhaustively.

“I’m ready. I’ve researched countless web sites for questions commonly asked and I’ve prepared my answers. I’ve visited the company’s website and I’ve memorized every fact on it. I know what to say, where to pause for emphasis, when to smile to show that I have a sense of humor, and when to look serious so that I’m perceived as, you know, serious. I am so prepared. I can’t lose!”

Sorry. Chris’s canned- do attitude won’t win this job. She’s so tightly wrapped the interviewer is turned off by her lack of spontaneity and her “too rehearsed” style. The interviewer wants someone who can work on matrixed teams that are as well oiled as they are well-integrated. The interviewer wants someone intellectually nimble, able to juggle tasks along with ideas, and when needed, change directions, without memorizing the how, what, and why of the playbook.

Janet is a battle toughened, hard worker with a victim’s attitude. Her strengths are obscured by a long-suffering, woe-is-me, nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen personality. Her affect is so depressing, the interviewer closes out the meeting before it even gets started.

Then there’s Jake:

He’s intolerant, temperamental, sarcastic, assumes the worst, and gets it. He’s smart but not savvy. He’s focused, but not on the right things. He answers questions with disdain, presuming the interviewer won’t understand his value, which is true, and he can’t provide the employer a track record of consistent contribution, because he doesn’t have one.

“My attitude is, why bother?” he says. “I’d be better off working for myself.”

That’s probably what he’ll end up doing.

Vitality. Social savvy, emotional health and physical well being. Intellectual dexterity, internal calm, and external energy. Positive attitudes that combine to project an image of someone we all want to have on our teams, and in our companies.

What’s your attitude?

This Might Not Be Pretty

I’ve noticed that you’re making some interviewing mistakes that you’d probably prefer not to repeat. I’ll tell you what they are and what you can do about them but fair warning, this might not be pretty:

• You’re getting there late and when you do, the game’s over. Here’s why: Interviewers expect you to be on your best behavior. If getting there late is the best you can do it’s not good enough. If you want to make the cut, make it across the company’s threshold with time to spare and with your act intact.
• You’re showing up so early you look as though you either can’t tell time or you’re unsure of yourself. If you’re concerned that getting there much later than you are accustomed is cutting it too close for comfort, stick with your early arrival, just don’t present yourself until it’s time for the interview.
• You’re showing up right on the button but you’re as calm as a nervous wreck. Your stomach’s churning, your voice is quaking and your hands are shaking. Rewind. Prepare. Nail what you do best, how you benefit companies you work for, and get used to talking about it. Work with the toughest handlers you can find who will ask you realistic questions and give you honest feedback.
• You describe yourself as confident but you’re coming across as arrogant. That’s a style that has to go. If you’re not sure if this pertains to you, check out the following: Instead of asking open ended questions that get at what the company’s issues and challenges might be, you act as though you already know. You’re making assumptions, drawing conclusions, and solving problems they don’t have and ignoring those they do. You’re eye rolling, sarcastic, and just a little smug. If that’s you, get a grip and get yourself a career coach.
• If you’re coming across as insecure and more than a little lost, the interviewer might offer you compassion and a compass but not a job offer. You might not need a check list for this one but here’s a short one anyway: You’re asking plenty of questions but you don’t appear to have any answers. When you do have answers they sound as though spoken by that proverbial deer in the headlights. You can minimize your problem and maximize opportunity if you immediately apply Practice, the time tested product that gets rid of the most virulent case of the gotcha’s. It’s guaranteed to work if you use it twice daily, every day, for at least two weeks prior to an interview or networking meeting. That way you have time to fill in the blanks, correct your mistakes, or rectify what even the right answers, said apologetically, can sadly say about you.
• You talk too much. It’s not good to chat the ears off interviewers. Pay  attention to their body language and you’ll know when it’s happening: Their eyes cross or look longingly at their computers, telephones, and finally, their clocks. Relax. Exhale. Give interviewers a chance to learn about you in their terms, not in yours. It’s their meeting, their company, and you’re an invited guest. Act accordingly.
• You’re not participating. You sit, listen, and nod approvingly which may be reassuring but it’s just not enough. The quieter you are the less likely it is you’ll be offered the job. Yes, if the interviewer wouldn’t ask so many questions and would give you more time to collect your thoughts, arrange, review and edit them, you’d provide more answers. That won’t happen. You need to practice jumping in and engaging, exchanging insight and information for no reason greater than you have something worthwhile to say and you deserve to be heard.

Telling the story a new way: Mother Goose in the workplace

Even the best of friends can drive each other to distraction. Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto, you get the drill. If friendship can’t transcend petty differences, what are co-workers, in recession rocked, pressure packed, deadline driven organizations to do?

If you don’t have the energy to read what business gurus have to say on the subject, and want something a little more soothing, check out some Mother Goose.

For example: Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

Sit back, take a few liberties when you read between the lines, and you might distill a management lesson or two. For starters, let’s look at these opposing attitudes and perspectives:

“Jack, what’s with this “fetch a pail of water” and “up the hill” stuff? We have plenty of water right here so why should we bother? Besides, I’m not thirsty.”

“Trust me, Jill. I’m a strategic kinda’ guy. My instincts tell me this is something we need to do.  Besides, the hike will do you good.”

“Get real, Jack. If you want to climb that hill for water, knock yourself out. It’s a waste of time, I have better things to do, and I’m not the one who needs to take a hike, thank you very much.”

Jack, the boss, persists. Jill, the subordinate, relents. They trudge up the hill, get a pail of water, Jack falls down, breaks his crown, and Jill still insists she didn’t smack him with a bucket.

What’s the real deal? Jack’s instincts tell him what he wants and he goes after it, even if he can’t explain what it is and why it’s important. He likes to work on bigger issues and to develop strategies that accomplish longer term goals. Regrettably, he doesn’t explain his motivations or involve his employees in problem solving. No wonder they get aggravated.

Jill sees herself as a no-nonsense pragmatist. She’ll do what’s requested if it makes sense to her. Jack’s “trust me” attitude leaves her cold. Jack can persist, but whatever cooperation he gets will be against her grain, and he may pay dearly if he insists on doing it his way.

What other business insights can we learn from Mother Goose’s musings? Check this out:

Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean. And between them both, they licked the platter clean.

Yes, Jack and his wife were quite a sight at dinner parties but all had to agree, Jack had developed a system that demonstrated how opposites could work well together. He and the Missus leveraged their opposing strengths by identifying and optimizing them.

Did M. Goose provide other examples? How about…

Hickory, Dickory, Doc. The mouse ran up the clock. The Clock struck twelve, the mouse ran down, Hickory, Dickory, Doc.

It’s just possible that Mother Goose was writing about the demanding medical practice of  Drs. Hickory, Dickory,  and Doc and the tribulations of their office manager, Ms. Mouse:

Ms. Mouse was emotionally and physically exhausted. Despite her many years as office manager she felt she had no future. She wanted more authority and less responsibility. Instead she got more of the latter and less of the former. Always obedient, she did whatever she was told yet never felt appreciated for her efforts. She had gone into office administration hoping to make a difference. She left, believing there was none she could make.

Doctors Hickory and Dickory were surprised to learn of Ms. Mouse’s dissatisfaction and subsequent resignation. They had always assumed she enjoyed a frenetic pace and no life, as did they. “Had she told us, we would have done something for her, like get her orthopedic shoes and support stockings.”

Only Dr. Doc appreciated the challenges that the staff faced and realized his intervention was essential to changing attitudes and behaviors. He held weekly meetings, asking for staff suggestions to streamline operations and improve patient care. He utilized their ideas, valued their input, and told them so. It may have been too late for Ms. Mouse, but office morale improved as did patient satisfaction.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

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