Guide for Boomerang Parents Receives Review

The slow to no-growth economy and high unemployment rates have kids of all ages returning to their parents’ homes as they transition from college to work or from lost job to new job. Co-authors Joyce Richman and Barbara Demarest have been getting some attention for their guidebook, Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job, which they wrote to help parents deal with these times of transition in their children’s lives. Steve Sumerford recently reviewed the book in the Greensboro News & Record the title is Tips for dealing with kids who say, ‘I’m coming back’ and we’ve republished it here:

Tips for dealing with kids who say, ‘I’m coming back’

People all over the country are finding solace, encouragement and a passel of practical tips from a small paperback written by two Greensboro authors, Joyce Richman and Barbara Demarest. With decades of executive and career coaching between them, the pair teamed up to address a very timely topic, “boomerang kids,” a term coined a few years ago to describe adults, who, for a variety of reasons, have to move back in with their parents.
A recent CNN Money story reported that 85 percent of last year’s college graduates say they would move back home with their parents if they couldn’t find a job.

Question from a reader: Left after layoffs

Q: “I like what I do but after three years and living through three downsizings I still don’t feel like I fit in or belong here. My prior experience and the way I carry myself professionally have made me unpopular. Being popular is not my goal but I feel like I’m not able to contribute fully when I feel so isolated. Help! My work life is becoming the pits.”

A: This reader describes several concerns at once: How can you fit in when your style is different from the people you work with? How can you be effective when you don’t feel accepted? Why aren’t people more accepting of others? And finally, does surviving several layoffs in the same company impact how you are perceived and received by others?

Fitting in when you don’t: Employers and job applicants should pay as much attention to matching the workplace culture as they do in matching skill sets to job requirements. Each should evaluate the opportunities, challenges, and likelihood of successful transition. Too often hurdles aren’t acknowledged, much less addressed, leaving old team members and new employees to struggle with conflicting workstyle preferences. (Tip: Read Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman).

Not only is it difficult to feel effective when you don’t feel accepted, it’s frustrating and energy wasting when you have to spend more time getting along with others than in getting your job done. Unless you focus on blending your style with theirs you may in for a rough ride. (Tip: The boss doesn’t fire you, your colleagues do).

Accepting others and being accepted is requisite for good working relationships. For some, it happens almost immediately. For others it takes a longer time. How long is too long? It depends on who has to struggle with it.

What gets in the way? If how you look, talk, interact or relate with the boss or co-workers consistently deviates from the prevailing norm, you’re likely to get cut out of the herd. It doesn’t matter if that’s right or wrong, “behaving differently” costs. If you dress up in a dress down environment, or vice versa, you’ll stir up talk by barely trying. One-up a co-worker in front of the boss, and you’re bound to get a nasty reaction. Come in late when everyone comes in early, and you’ll be marginal in more ways than one.

Figure out the new culture by observing it. If you’re not sure what it is, or want to confirm your understanding of it, ask employees who seem connected, not those who look as outside the loop as you feel.

Speaking of other employees, do they have a responsibility in accepting new employees to the team? You bet they do.

High performing teams realize that the key to their professional success turns on everyone having the opportunity to achieve the group’s goals. To buy in you have to know what they are, why they exist, and the part you play in getting there. Trade-offs occur when one person is willing to help another. Trust evolves as individuals have consistently positive experiences with each other. You can’t ask new players to prove themselves as valuable contributors if you’re not willing to show them how your game is played.

On a final note:  surviving several downsizings can leave victors feeling victimized. They try to protect themselves from further damage by withdrawing from their colleagues. Help break the cycle. Reach out to each other and create community in the workplace. It sure beats whatever is in second place.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada andEurope. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

A Merger, An Opportunity?

Putting Your Best Foot Forward: Interviews

We’re getting calls and emails from readers who have questions and concerns about layoffs. Here’s a sampling:

“With all this talk about layoffs, I’m so worried I can’t concentrate on my job. What can I do?”

The last thing you want to do is worry yourself out of a job. Change your unrealized fear from something you can’t control to something you can. Put together an employment emergency kit. Fill it with a financial plan, an updated resume, lists of contacts, and a personal inventory of strengths and work accomplishments. Then get back to work. That’s what your employer is paying you to do.

“What’s the difference between a merger and an acquisition? Am I safe in one and in jeopardy with the other?”

In business parlance a merger implies the coming together of equals. An acquisition suggests that the stronger (by whatever definition) has taken over the weaker. The true meaning and the outcome intended are in the minds of the players who cut the deal. Employees who are affected seldom know what that is. When are you safe? When you proactively direct and advance your own career.

“We’ve been laid off. None of us saw it coming and a bunch of us are angry and upset. If we interview now we’re going to blow it. We’ve got to find work, what can we do?”

Take advantage of your shared frustration and release your emotions with each other. The more you get out of your system, with safe people in safe places, the less apt you are to blow up where it’s not and when it isn’t. After you’ve finished venting (that can take a while) contact job seeker support groups in the area, where you can reframe your frustration into positive job search strategies.

“What three things do I need to know before I interview?”

There are more than three, but if I had to choose, they’d be:

Know what you do best and examples of when you’ve done it.

Know what you don’t do well, so that you won’t do it again.

Know what you’re looking for in a job (besides the money).

“What’s the difference between a strength and a skill? Which is more important?”

A strength is innate, a given, you have it without trying. You enhance your strengths by recognizing them (they’re not always as obvious as you might think) and expanding upon them. A skill is acquired. You learn it by study and repeated application. Strengths are immediately transferable, no waiting. Skills transfer, but may not be applicable. You need a combination of both. Proven success combines skills, strengths, and experience.

“How can you network if you don’t get out and meet anyone? I tend to be on the shy side and have never been a joiner. Help!”

You may not be a natural at networking, but you can learn the skills necessary for organizing one: Get together with like minded individuals (they like what you like and they’d go where you’d go, if you went anywhere). You’ve indicated that you don’t like to get out much. If you did, where would your interests take you? For example: If you were a reader, you would hang out in book stores, libraries, museums, and galleries. You would attend book reviews; book signings and book sales. You’d meet the people who attend, talk about mutual interests, and learn what they do, professionally. By describing your current job search you’d ask for suggestions of people you should meet and places you should go.

When you network with people who share your interests they send you looking in the right places.

“I’m over fifty! Who’s going to hire me?”

If you are emotionally and physically healthy, with a positive, energetic outlook, what’s not to like (or hire)? Companies are always in the market for stable, mature, nonjudgmental employees who know how to contribute to the workplace and come ready to work. What you may have given up in physical agility you’ve (hopefully) gained in wisdom and insight. As long as you don’t sign on as a contortionist in the circus, you’re a good bet as a new hire.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Joyce Richman on VoiceAmerica

Impacting the Path of the Future

Remain Focused ~ One Step at a Time

Whether you’re looking for a job or want to hold on to the one you have, keep your attitude in check. It’s not a question of if, it’s when you have a negative attitude it will spill over into negative behavior. That’s a mess you don’t want to have to clean up. Think positively and your behavior will follow suit.

If you’re creeped out where you work because half the population is whispering and the other half is hiding out, do yourself a favor, tune it out, turn it off, and do your job. Focus on what’s in front of you and encourage others to do the same. Take care of yourself but remember some rules still apply: conduct personal business on personal time.

If you’re looking for a job, you need to know what the right one looks like. Combine your strengths with your skills, your likes with your values and you’ll begin to see the where, when, and how you add value.

“Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.” People will treat you as you treat yourself. If you downplay your abilities, understate your attributes, keep your head down, and your voice on mute, others will likely think that you haven’t the will or the want to do more. Speak up, take credit for what’s yours, share credit for the rest, and ask to do more of what you do best.

This is the time to let go and glide. Life might be taking you down corridors you’ve not traveled, to places you’ve not wanted to go, but if you’re flexible and go with the flow you might arrive at destinations far better than those from which you have departed.

Make a job of looking for a job. Shower and dress for your search. Conduct it outside, in the light, with people you know and people they’ll introduce you to. Get away from your computer, get out of your slippers, and take off that ratty robe. You have work to do in networking meetings, with job search groups, and at job fairs.

Turn down the noise and tune out the static. Pay attention to facts, not opinions. Pay attention to actions, not rumors. The more you listen to a cacophony of voices that know less than you but talk as though they know more, the more you’re stuck in the quick sand of stress. Take action.

If you think you’ll lose your job, don’t worry about it, do something about it. Assess your strengths, update your resume and polish up your self esteem.

Pretending that all is well when it’s not, won’t make it so. If you substitute worry for awareness, and distraction for action, you’re an accident waiting to happen. Ask questions and seek counsel from those trained to provide it: Financial Advisors, CPA’s, Career Coaches, Therapists, Social Workers, and Religious Counselors. Take one step, then another, until you regain your sense of equilibrium with the world as it is, not as you fear it might be.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started he own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.

Networking Your Way Into a New Career

Networking: the expression is abused, misused and under-explained.

What is it and why should you care?

Networking is the best way to find a job, change jobs, or even change careers. Doing it right takes time, patience, and persistence. Doing it wrong is a waste of effort, energy, and opportunity.

Networking means having focused conversations with individuals who can directly or indirectly influence the direction of your career search.

Networking means finding people whose character and competencies are similar to yours. It’s learning how they successfully achieved what they attempted. It’s brain-storming for new directions to take, steps to make and people to meet. It’s finding perspectives that are fresh, objective, and experienced.

Is it worth your time? Nearly 80% of career opportunities are found through networking. You do the math.

What’s involved?

Begin by calling people you know and respect and asking them to have a brief meeting with you.

(“Alan, I’ve known you for several years and value your perspective. I’d like to sit down with you, for a half hour or so, and ask you some questions as well as discuss some ideas that I have. Are you open to that?”)

You don’t have all the answers, you have the questions, and that’s why you are asking for the meeting.

Where do you begin?

Make a list of appropriate people to contact.

Make a case for the purpose of your call and the outcome you seek.

Design questions that lead to the result you want.

Here’s a tip:

Don’t ask for a job. Don’t ask who’s hiring. Don’t turn your quest into their problem. They’ll resent your call and cross three streets to avoid you in the future.

Follow through. If you’re someone who’s a natural at follow through you’ll like this networking assignment. If you aren’t, get a grip and make a plan. This is about your future. Place the call. Ask the questions. Set up the meeting. Listen, learn. Ask for another contact. Then follow through.

It’s going to feel ambiguous to some of you. You may feel uneasy and unwilling to risk stepping out and stepping up. I’m asking you to take a chance when there’s no way to fail and no place to fall.

The best thing about this assignment is that you get a chance to not have all the answers because you’re not supposed to have them. The reason you are networking is to call on people who can teach you what you don’t know.

If the first person you speak with isn’t much help , the next one might be. You have one job to do right now: ask questions that relate what you do best to where you can do it next. Here are a few examples:

“I can provide you many examples of times that my problem solving has saved company time and money. What kinds of organizations are you aware of, that could benefit from my ability to do that?”

“My skill sets are specific to one industry, but my strengths apply to many. I’ve coached employees to come from behind, and against the odds, to achieve their goals. I’d like to work for a company that values that in an employee. Where would you suggest that I look? Who do you suggest that I talk to?”

Tell your story. Tell it in a way that grabs the listener’s attention and causes them to say, “tell me more.”

If they’re listening, you’re on the right track. If they mention a company and a person to call, you’ve got some momentum. If they want to make that call for you, you’re really getting somewhere. Go the distance.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Steps to Making a Successful Career Transition

Are you in the wrong job? Maybe the wrong career? That’s an alarming thought if you don’t have a clue what the right job might be.

What’s the point of leaving if you don’t know where you’re going or what you’d do once you’d get there? The last thing you want is to end up in the same sorry mess you’re in now.

There are plenty of reasons people stay in the wrong careers:

They may like their job, dislike their boss; like their boss, dislike their job; like them both, dislike their colleagues; like none of them but need the money; like the money, can’t do the job. Whatever the cause, they’re not making a contribution and they know it.

You and others like you, are burning out, dragging around, working at 50% potential, making yourself and everyone around you miserable.

Burnout isn’t terminal, it’s grown up ‘time out’. It’s a place to think and regroup when you’re not where you’d like to be.

Can you be productive in time out? Yes, you can. That’s what it’s for, that’s why you’re there.

What happens? Your brain goes to work, organizing, cataloguing, figuring out stuff that it will tell you about later.

What can you do in the meantime? Hard work. In order to progress to networking and then interviewing, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses; what brings out the best in you and what brings out the worst.

Although you’d probably like to figure that out by sitting alone in the dark, don’t. Haul yourself out of hiding and ask for the opinion of people you trust, who know what it’s like to work with you. Need more help? Ask more questions. It’s a good idea to write down what they say because, chances are, you’re going to be surprised.

What’s next on the agenda? Take what you’ve learned about yourself, pore over old performance reviews, add what you already know and prepare your case.

And your case is? Your rationale for seeking a different career opportunity; strengths that you bring to the table; ways that you can contribute to a company’s bottom line.

Are you ready to interview? Not yet.

Work on your style. Ask others to tell you how you’re coming across: your body language as well as your voice pitch, tone, tempo.

How do you look? Like last week’s laundry? Treat yourself to some new duds. Exercise, socialize, read more and watch less television.

Where’s your resume? Find it or write it or update it. Format it to highlight the strengths you want to emphasize in the future.

Are you ready for primetime? Not unless you’ve practiced for interviews. That means doing role plays, answering open ended questions. (They’re the ones that sound easy but aren’t, like, “tell me about yourself”; “what do you want to be doing in five years?”’ and “what qualifies you to work for us?”)

Rehearse with mature humans who have held responsible jobs. Enlisting the services of your cat, your baby, or your baby sitter’s friend may be convenient and non-threatening, but not a good reality check.

Networking. Come to grips with how to do it right.

We’ve got to come up with a better word than networking. It conjures up images of sweaty palmed, glad handing back slappers telling everyone in earshot, “give me a call me if you hear about a job.”

That’s not networking. That just tricks you into thinking you’re looking for a job while you’re really wasting your time and everyone else’s.

What is networking? Come back Thursday and we’ll continue your job search. In the meantime, do your homework.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.

Is Organizational Change Taking Your Breath Away?

If the rapid rate of change in your organization is taking your breath away,  read the late Isaac Asimov’s take on the situation:

“If the last 50,000 years of man’s existence were divided into lifetimes of approximately sixty-two years each, there have been about 800 such lifetimes. Of these 800, fully 650 were spent in caves.

Only during the last seventy lifetimes has it been possible to communicate effectively from one lifetime to another – as writing made it possible to do so. Only during the last six lifetimes (375 years) did masses of men ever see a printed word. Only during the last four (250 years) has it been possible to measure time with any precision. Only during the last two (120 years) has anyone anywhere used an electric motor.

And the overwhelming majority of all the material goods we use in daily life today have been developed within the present, the 800th lifetime.”

You’d think with that perspective, everyone in your organization would feel overwhelmed by change.  But, as we all know, it just ain’t so. Some folks thrive on it. Particularly those who are in charge of making it happen. The rest find themselves somewhere along a continuum: some frozen solid, some grudgingly moving along, some gasping for air while running as fast as they can.

How about you? If  you are stuck, why are you? And what are you still holding onto?

If you lead a team and they’re stuck; why are they? What are they holding onto and why won’t they let it go?

Take the time to figure it out. Relentlessly pushing yourself and your employees won’t get you “there”  faster when you’re not ready to leave where you’ve been.

William Bridges, a leading change management consultant and author of several books on work transition issues, is complexity simplified when he writes, “It’s the transition, not the change that people often resist. Every transition begins with an ending. We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new – not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to the people and places that act as definitions of who we are.

Bridges’ Seven Principles of Transition Management elaborate:

1. You have to end before you begin.

2. Between the ending and the beginning, there is a hiatus.

3. That hiatus can be creative.

4. Transition is developmental.

5. Transition is also a source of renewal.

6. People go through transition at different speeds.

7. Most organizations are running a “transition deficit.”

Does it help to change the word “stuck” to the word “transitional”? It should, if the description better fits the condition.

Anyone who has lost a long held job or meaningful relationship, knows and understands grief. Grief fills a transitional period that separates what was from what is yet to be.

Wise managers understand and acknowledge that time. They realize that many employees grieve their losses as sweeping change moves across a formerly stable workplace.

Wise managers help their employees gain closure. They know that denigrating the past or those who represented it only extends the period of mourning.

Wise managers remove excuses to hold onto the past. They make their case for why change is necessary; what is at risk if change doesn’t happen; and what the future direction will be.

Wise managers figure it out. They involve more minds than their own. They consider solution options and assess the upside and downside impact of each.

Wise managers make their decisions while developing  an organized plan of implementation. They incorporate multi-level feedback loops and adjust as necessary.

Wise managers communicate more times than they think it’s necessary, then communicate some more. They say it, write it, and say it again.

WHY we’re making these changes;

WHAT are the means and method for making them;

WHO will play a part in moving the organization forward;

HOW it will look like when we’re done.

A sense of urgency is enough to stimulate some to action; others just need a road map. The majority need a reason why. Give them what they need and there’s a better chance they’ll follow you into the future.

* * * *

Yes! You may use this article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.richmanresources.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at www.thecoachingassociation.com.